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  #601  
Old 02-27-2012, 08:03 PM
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You know... thingie!
  #602  
Old 02-27-2012, 08:18 PM
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And now...









Number two...












The Horse Chestnut.

Last edited by BMalion; 02-27-2012 at 08:22 PM.
  #603  
Old 02-27-2012, 08:56 PM
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About one, call it none.
  #604  
Old 02-27-2012, 09:07 PM
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You silly king!
  #605  
Old 02-27-2012, 09:21 PM
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That's just what Jesus said!
  #606  
Old 02-28-2012, 10:27 AM
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Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals!
  #607  
Old 02-28-2012, 11:11 AM
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Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals!
I'm not.
  #608  
Old 02-28-2012, 06:30 PM
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... I'll come in again.
  #609  
Old 02-28-2012, 09:54 PM
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That's you, m'lud, not you, m'lud.
  #610  
Old 02-29-2012, 09:17 AM
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Lark's vomit?
  #611  
Old 02-29-2012, 10:05 AM
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Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.

Last edited by Knorf; 02-29-2012 at 10:05 AM. Reason: Typos I type.
  #612  
Old 02-29-2012, 08:13 PM
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Your Majesty is like a stream of bat's piss.
  #613  
Old 02-29-2012, 10:58 PM
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We can guarantee you that not a single armoured division will get done over for fifteen bob a week.
  #614  
Old 03-01-2012, 12:05 AM
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Shall I "thwow" him to the floor, sir?
  #615  
Old 03-01-2012, 05:16 AM
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Your Majesty is like a stream of bat's piss.
That's one of Shaw's!
  #616  
Old 03-01-2012, 08:17 AM
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But I didn't have the salmon mousse!
  #617  
Old 03-01-2012, 10:32 AM
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Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans, you talk and you talk and say 'Let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this.' Well, you're dead now, so shut up.
  #618  
Old 03-01-2012, 06:18 PM
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Jim: ...Waiting quite superbly for the eclipse of the sunlike object.

Brian: And here, if I'm very much mistaken, comes the eclipse.

Jim: Yes, you are very much mistaken. Here it comes.
  #619  
Old 03-01-2012, 07:17 PM
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What page in script?
  #620  
Old 03-01-2012, 09:09 PM
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... and their lovely daughter Mitzi Gaynor, who had fabulous tits and an enchanting smile, and wooden teeth which she had bought at a chemist's in Augsburgh, despite the fire risk. She treasured these teeth, which were made of the finest pine and she varnished them after every meal.
  #621  
Old 03-02-2012, 12:03 AM
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Splunge!
  #622  
Old 03-02-2012, 12:41 PM
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Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
  #623  
Old 03-02-2012, 01:37 PM
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Go clean your armour.
  #624  
Old 03-02-2012, 01:59 PM
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Even if you come and get him.
  #625  
Old 03-02-2012, 02:24 PM
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Oh, "slunge" for me too.
  #626  
Old 03-02-2012, 03:30 PM
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(That's "splunge").

Albatross!
  #627  
Old 03-02-2012, 05:39 PM
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You wouldn't know the difference between the battle of Borodino and a tiger's bum!
  #628  
Old 03-02-2012, 09:15 PM
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Right, I'll do you for that...!
  #629  
Old 03-03-2012, 07:46 PM
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Quizmaster: Jolly good! Well now Madam your first question for the blow on the head this evening is: Which great opponent of Cartesian dualism resists the reduction of psychological phenomena to a physical state and insists there is no point of contact between the extended and the unextended?

Ratbag: I don't know that.

Quizmaster: Well -- have a guess!

Ratbag: Oh... Henri Bergson?

Quizmaster: ...is the correct answer! (Piano chords)

Ratbag: Ooh, that was lucky. I never even heard of him.
  #630  
Old 03-03-2012, 08:02 PM
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Our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful.
  #631  
Old 03-03-2012, 11:28 PM
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I waggled me wig!
  #632  
Old 03-04-2012, 12:35 PM
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[Webb's Wonder]

tick tick tick...

[/Webb's Wonder]
  #633  
Old 03-04-2012, 12:39 PM
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Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
  #634  
Old 03-04-2012, 01:25 PM
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May I just point out that this is, in fact, my first time on TV.
  #635  
Old 03-04-2012, 05:23 PM
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May I just point out that this is, in fact, my first time on TV.
I'm sorry, we don't have time for that.
  #636  
Old 03-04-2012, 08:27 PM
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Our researchers spent six months living like penguins......and consequently dying like penguins....only quicker....proving that the penguin is a tough old bugger in his own environment.
  #637  
Old 03-04-2012, 09:20 PM
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Squad! Confuse... a cat!
  #638  
Old 03-04-2012, 10:13 PM
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Squad! Confuse...
Wait for it!
  #639  
Old 03-04-2012, 10:43 PM
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... and a dagger up the clitoris!

Ooooh, I've never 'ad one there before!

Last edited by Askance; 03-04-2012 at 10:43 PM.
  #640  
Old 03-04-2012, 11:27 PM
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I like following orders.
  #641  
Old 03-05-2012, 09:45 PM
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Squaaaad! Camp it ..... up!
  #642  
Old 03-05-2012, 10:12 PM
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Good morning, gentlemen. This is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these...
  #643  
Old 03-05-2012, 10:33 PM
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It's not even a proper nose - it's polystyrene!
  #644  
Old 03-05-2012, 10:33 PM
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What? Ridden on a horse?
  #645  
Old 03-05-2012, 11:01 PM
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Will Mr. Michael Ellis please go straight to the manager's office...
  #646  
Old 03-06-2012, 01:37 AM
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Alan Fay? Alan Fay? Please go to the information booth - your friend is hurt and it's a real bummer.





Nooo....WAIT -
  #647  
Old 03-06-2012, 07:57 AM
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He ran away! He scarpered!
  #648  
Old 03-06-2012, 08:55 AM
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Did you say knives?

Rotating knives, yes?
  #649  
Old 03-06-2012, 10:33 AM
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Tchaikovsky. Was he the tortured soul who poured out his immortal longings into dignified passages of stately music, or was he just an old poof who wrote tunes?
  #650  
Old 03-06-2012, 02:10 PM
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Rotating knives, yes.

....

Oh, I see. I hadn't correctly divined your attitude towards your tenants. You see I mainly design slaughter houses. Yes, pity. Mind you, this is a real beaut. I mean, none of your blood caked on the walls and flesh flying out of the windows, inconveniencing the passers-by with this one. I mean, my life has been building up to this.
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