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  #2701  
Old 02-09-2016, 07:48 AM
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Ack! Ack! Ack!
  #2702  
Old 02-09-2016, 08:00 AM
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Eat hot photons, laser-breath! Eat hot photons now!
  #2703  
Old 02-09-2016, 08:08 AM
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Domo Arigato Mister Moderato
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I don't know where you get your ideas, laser-brain.
  #2704  
Old 02-09-2016, 05:44 PM
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Nothing you can't handle, Franky.
  #2705  
Old 02-09-2016, 05:55 PM
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No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
  #2706  
Old 02-09-2016, 06:49 PM
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Capt. Amazing: I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova Frankenstein: I knew you'd know that.
Capt. Amazing: Oh, I know that. AND I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova Frankenstein: But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know THAT?
Capt. Amazing: Of course
  #2707  
Old 02-10-2016, 12:18 PM
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Dr. Horrible. I should've known you were behind this!
  #2708  
Old 02-10-2016, 01:06 PM
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"I thought so. You've come to straighten out the children's problems, haven't you?"

"My Lady, all of the 'children' involved, including your daughter, are quite a few T-years older than I am!"

"Chronologically, perhaps. In other ways? And whatever your comparative ages may be, they definitely need straightening out. Which is why you're here, isn't it?"

"Yes, Allison. I do intend to accomplish a few other things while I'm here, but, yes. Mostly, I came to straighten out the children's problems."

Last edited by The Stainless Steel Rat; 02-10-2016 at 01:06 PM.
  #2709  
Old 02-10-2016, 01:18 PM
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What happens to us in the future? Do we become assholes or something?
  #2710  
Old 02-11-2016, 02:27 PM
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Do you imagine your miserable little life can stand in the way of the march of evolution?

Last edited by Dendarii Dame; 02-11-2016 at 02:29 PM.
  #2711  
Old 02-11-2016, 09:33 PM
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A planet where apes evolved from men? There's got to be an answer.
  #2712  
Old 02-12-2016, 12:29 PM
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It pays to be polite to the ape-descended primitives of planet Earth.
  #2713  
Old 02-13-2016, 10:53 AM
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"Which brings me," he went on, "to the subject of table manners."
  #2714  
Old 02-13-2016, 11:49 AM
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The waiter approached.
'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?'
'Huh?' said Ford.
'Huh?' said Arthur.
'Huh?' said Trillian.
'That’s cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat.”
  #2715  
Old 02-13-2016, 03:34 PM
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"Good! In that case, why don't I take you over to Cosmo's for lunch? I understand a few dozen or so of your closest friends are waiting to help you celebrate your promotion—I can't imagine who could have let the 'cat out of the bag to them about it—and after that, we can hop out to Saganami Island and let you meet your new staff."
  #2716  
Old 02-14-2016, 07:28 AM
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The man was a stranger; the cat was not.
  #2717  
Old 02-14-2016, 09:47 AM
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Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!
  #2718  
Old 02-14-2016, 12:14 PM
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Ahh, he's bananas.
  #2719  
Old 02-14-2016, 11:06 PM
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Oh, well, he's Danish.
  #2720  
Old 02-15-2016, 06:59 AM
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Never could remember all those funny Baltic bits.
  #2721  
Old 02-15-2016, 04:05 PM
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Did you ever go to a place -- I think it was called Norway? That was one of mine. Won an award, you know. Lovely crinkly edges.
  #2722  
Old 02-16-2016, 07:25 AM
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Miles had never once worn all his accumulated honors, in part because four-fifths of them related to classified activities, and what fun was a decoration you couldn't tell a good story about?
  #2723  
Old 02-16-2016, 07:37 AM
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"Explains how you could have missed the modest little four-meter bronze statue of me, standing on top of an eight-meter—polished!—obsidian column, in the square at the very foot of the main stairs to the North Portico so that every single soul who ever walks through any of the Hall's public entrances will have to walk right past it at eye level."
  #2724  
Old 02-16-2016, 07:52 AM
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The Somebody Else's Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people's natural disposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain.
  #2725  
Old 02-17-2016, 09:59 AM
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When you're invisible, the only one really watching you is you.
  #2726  
Old 02-17-2016, 10:32 AM
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Invisible Boy: [after becoming invisible for a moment and reappearing naked] I'm invisible. Can you see me?

The Blue Raja, The Shoveller, Mr. Furious, The Sphinx, The Bowler, The Spleen: Yes!

Mr. Furious: Wow.

The Blue Raja: Two hands there, son.

[Invisible Boy covers up]

The Bowler: Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.
  #2727  
Old 02-18-2016, 12:51 PM
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I mean I could kill the guy who designed this suit. Why couldn't it have... narrow lapels and a cutaway jacket? Why'd it have to be long johns and a cape?
  #2728  
Old 02-19-2016, 09:04 AM
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Getting Aivars Terekhov into full scale Mess Dress had been almost as hard as Helen had been afraid it would. He'd started to dig his heels in the instant she opened her mouth, pointing out that nobody had mentioned anything about stupid Mess Dress uniforms to him in the original invitation. She'd headed that one off by reminding him that although the request was a late change, it was also one which had been made at the Quadrant's Minister of War's personal request for important political reasons. He'd glowered at that one, then brightened and pointed out that he didn't have a Commodore's Mess Dress uniform . . . at which point Chief Steward Agnelli had silently opened his closet and extracted the captain's Mess Dress which she had thoughtfully had re-tailored for his new rank during the voyage out from Manticore.



For those who don't recognize the term: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mess_dress
  #2729  
Old 02-19-2016, 12:46 PM
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That's funny, I thought it said "General" on my uniform.
  #2730  
Old 02-19-2016, 07:01 PM
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I wonder what the folks back home would think if they knew I was having dinner with a beautiful moon woman.
  #2731  
Old 02-20-2016, 09:31 AM
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The moon, by her comparative proximity, and the constantly varying appearances produced by her several phases, has always occupied a considerable share of the attention of the inhabitants of the earth.
  #2732  
Old 02-20-2016, 09:52 AM
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The moon is a harsh mistress.
  #2733  
Old 02-21-2016, 06:54 AM
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I find that very disconcerting.
  #2734  
Old 02-21-2016, 07:54 AM
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I find your lack of faith disturbing.
  #2735  
Old 02-22-2016, 08:22 AM
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"They were religious zealots looking for a home so far away no one would ever bother them. I guess they figured five-hundred-plus light-years was about far enough in an era before hyper travel had even been hypothesized. At any rate, the ‘Church of Humanity Unchained’ set out on a leap of faith, with absolutely no idea what they were going to find at the other end.”
  #2736  
Old 02-22-2016, 08:32 AM
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There are no strangers in God's universe.
  #2737  
Old 02-22-2016, 08:55 AM
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"Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."
  #2738  
Old 02-22-2016, 09:31 AM
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"The Medusans, like every other sentient species we've encountered, use a means of communication we can perceive and analyze, Your Grace. In the Medusans' case, it's a combination of spoken sounds, body language, and scent emissions. We can duplicate the sounds, although we require artificial assistance to reach some of the higher frequencies, but the body language and scent emissions were much more difficult. Partly, of course, that's because they have six limbs, not four, and they're radially symmetrical. More to the point, because Medusan faces are immobile, they don't use facial expressions, which makes the body language even more important, since their gestures have to carry the weight of both body language and expression. Fortunately, their gestures are mostly confined to their upper limbs. They're . . . vigorous—that's why Doctor Sampson described them as 'berserk semaphore machines' in one of his early reports—but the restriction to just the upper limbs greatly reduces the total signal set. On the other hand, they still have three arms to our two, and no human could possibly duplicate the range of motion possible for a Medusan."
  #2739  
Old 02-23-2016, 01:34 PM
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A quaddie could grip a handhold and a drink bulb and still have two hands left to draw and aim a weapon. It hardly seemed fair.
  #2740  
Old 02-23-2016, 01:46 PM
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In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option, I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.
  #2741  
Old 02-23-2016, 02:09 PM
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But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction... Chemical X.
  #2742  
Old 02-24-2016, 09:18 AM
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Oh, you're body's a battleground, there's a chemical war inside!
  #2743  
Old 02-24-2016, 09:54 AM
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Man said, "The Universe is dying."
  #2744  
Old 02-24-2016, 12:24 PM
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And AC said: "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" And there was light--
  #2745  
Old 02-24-2016, 01:09 PM
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The lights are but indicators. Their power source is low, but it was designed to keep something going for thousands of years/
  #2746  
Old 02-25-2016, 02:18 PM
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Pay all you've got for what you can't see and when sun come up. Illuminate: we been cheated again.
  #2747  
Old 02-26-2016, 07:44 AM
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"There's a reason Her Majesty's asking me, instead of Nimitz or Ariel," Honor told her guests. "As it happens, I've been hanging around with treecats long enough to have caught to at least some of their abilities. I can't read minds, but I can read emotions, and I know when someone's lying."

"So that's why you make such a fiendishly effective diplomat!" Pritchard said with something very like an air of triumph. "I couldn't believe how well a total novice was reading us. Now I know—you were cheating!"

The last word came out in something very like a laugh, and Honor nodded back.

"Where diplomacy's concerned, according to my mentors in the Foreign Office, there is no such thing as 'cheating,' Madam President. In fact, one of those mentors quoted an old axiom to me. Where diplomacy is involved, he said, if you aren't cheating, you aren't trying hard enough."
  #2748  
Old 02-26-2016, 08:26 AM
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About the most action we've had was the night a feral cat somehow got past the scanner beams and ran into a tangle-field. I never knew cats could make such a racket.
  #2749  
Old 02-26-2016, 02:01 PM
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"If you ever saw our soldiers laying the stuff out—it comes wound up on little wire barrels. You have to take one end of the stuff, without getting the teeth in you, and pull if free. It comes off twisted, it jumps and vibrates, and the teeth are likely to get you if you try to straighten it out. I saw half a company of soldiers fighting three rolls of fang-wire the only time we ever tried to use it. The wire was winning. The natives were dug in on a hill opposite from us, and they were having hysterics. No, thanks. Never again."
  #2750  
Old 02-27-2016, 09:37 AM
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This knowledge, his tone implies, has not brought him happiness, nor is it likely to any time soon.
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