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  #501  
Old 07-31-2018, 10:59 PM
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3rd letter g


She had no________.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 07-31-2018 at 11:04 PM.
  #502  
Old 07-31-2018, 11:36 PM
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... idea that the word sought was "digit."

Because when it comes to puzzles, elephants ...
  #503  
Old 07-31-2018, 11:48 PM
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...do better with pictures than words.

The elementary school teacher sauntered into the airport Applebee's like...
  #504  
Old 08-01-2018, 12:12 AM
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It was a 5 star restuarant.

Lucky for her they had______.
  #505  
Old 08-01-2018, 12:22 AM
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... both kinds of wine: red and white.

As she perused the menu, she noticed ...
  #506  
Old 08-01-2018, 06:05 AM
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...it was in Sanskrit.

Thinking quickly, she...
  #507  
Old 08-01-2018, 08:15 AM
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Pointed to a menu item and hoped for the best.



What she got was_____.
  #508  
Old 08-01-2018, 08:26 AM
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not... the best.

Perusing the menu in a Scottish restaurant.....
  #509  
Old 08-01-2018, 10:33 AM
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, you take your life into your own hands if you order anything other than the haggis with a side of fries.

The best thing about visiting Scotland in August is _________________
  #510  
Old 08-01-2018, 11:30 AM
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...the black flies spend most of their time under kilts, so they don't bother the tourists.

Scotland Yard called with information about your...
  #511  
Old 08-01-2018, 11:51 AM
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Lost cat. Found living with the Queens corgis.


Off to the pet shop for______.
  #512  
Old 08-01-2018, 01:06 PM
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eight capybaras, three stoats and an emu, just like Great Aunt Edna asked for.

I tried juggling emus once, but _________________
  #513  
Old 08-01-2018, 01:49 PM
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when I dropped them and they crashed to the ground stoats immediately set about devouring them.

The most wonderful thing about Australia.....
  #514  
Old 08-01-2018, 04:53 PM
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...is an Outback Steakhouse on every corner.

Would you believe...
  #515  
Old 08-01-2018, 06:37 PM
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kangaroos adore bloomin’ onions.

Just last week, as a matter of fact,...
  #516  
Old 08-01-2018, 06:40 PM
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I ate Kangaroo pie. So good.



Shouldn't eat too much or______.
  #517  
Old 08-01-2018, 10:13 PM
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I get jumped up or hoppy or something,

but then there's ...
  #518  
Old 08-01-2018, 10:22 PM
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... the fun of boxing.

Though I prefer wrestling, because ...
  #519  
Old 08-01-2018, 10:28 PM
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Sumo pants are so fun to wear.



Sushi makes me_______.
  #520  
Old 08-02-2018, 10:14 AM
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fart.

My goldfish has taught me that...
  #521  
Old 08-02-2018, 04:24 PM
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...there is no escape that doesn't result in death.

KaPOW....
  #522  
Old 08-02-2018, 04:42 PM
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Ka-blooie and bam!


The comics I read are_______.
  #523  
Old 08-02-2018, 04:45 PM
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...all bazooka joe wrappers.

The bombs dropped...
  #524  
Old 08-03-2018, 01:19 AM
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Were bad jokes. I was heckled mercilessly.


So I quit my stand up career for_____.
  #525  
Old 08-03-2018, 01:40 AM
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... driving a taxi instead.

One rainy night, I picked up a passenger named Sue, who wanted to go to ...
  #526  
Old 08-03-2018, 08:38 AM
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to the bathroom, but I told her "not in my cab you don't."

Another thing about being a cabbie is........
  #527  
Old 08-03-2018, 08:53 AM
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... trying to avoid wrecks while watching couples do the dirty behind you in the rearview mirror.

The movie I want to see is ...
  #528  
Old 08-03-2018, 09:18 PM
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... never going to be made.

But I'm interested in old time ...
  #529  
Old 08-03-2018, 09:37 PM
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...television shows that were never made.


The albatross tasted...
  #530  
Old 08-03-2018, 09:42 PM
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Fishy and smelled worse around my neck!


I am not gonna go out alone in my boat anymore because_____.
  #531  
Old 08-03-2018, 11:02 PM
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I forget to shower and I start smelling like last week's bait.

The last time I went fishing,......
  #532  
Old 08-04-2018, 04:22 AM
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... all I caught was a cold.

I guess it didn't help that I was trying to fish ...
  #533  
Old 08-04-2018, 01:15 PM
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In the nude. In Canada, no less.


I try not to_____.
  #534  
Old 08-04-2018, 03:03 PM
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I try not to_____.
buy anymore pinball machines, but it's becoming a habit.


Happy families are. . .
  #535  
Old 08-04-2018, 10:54 PM
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... those who enjoy doing things together, such as playing pinball.

In fact, the last time I was in an arcade ...
  #536  
Old 08-05-2018, 02:16 AM
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In fact, the last time I was in an arcade ...
...I played air hockey with my son.


I almost got hit by a puck. . .
  #537  
Old 08-05-2018, 02:29 AM
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duck, a new species just discovered.



I regret_____.
  #538  
Old 08-05-2018, 03:59 AM
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... playing air hockey.

I should have just kept to playing ...
  #539  
Old 08-05-2018, 05:15 AM
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Who
I should have just kept to playing ...
Lost World. I got 14 games off one quarter, but then lost, so I figured I was pinballed out for the day, and wanted to play something with my son. Maybe we should have played Block-Out.


Who lives in a pineapple. . .
  #540  
Old 08-05-2018, 03:34 PM
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...under the sea, which drove me crazy as the kids watched him over and over again, it was only slightly less annoying than____
  #541  
Old 08-05-2018, 04:21 PM
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...under the sea, which drove me crazy as the kids watched him over and over again, it was only slightly less annoying than____
"Mmm-bop." Which I had to listen to when I was working with a 6-year-old.


Let's change. . .
  #542  
Old 08-05-2018, 04:23 PM
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Let's change. . .
gears here, because what I really wanted to talk about is...
  #543  
Old 08-05-2018, 04:45 PM
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...the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

There are some who would say....
  #544  
Old 08-05-2018, 04:53 PM
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...it's a mystery, and I strongly disagree, life is truly...
  #545  
Old 08-05-2018, 05:23 PM
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A bowl of strawberries. You thought I was gonna say cherries, didn't ya? I like to stir the pot so_____.
  #546  
Old 08-05-2018, 06:40 PM
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A bowl of strawberries. You thought I was gonna say cherries, didn't ya? I like to stir the pot so_____.
everything cooks evenly.


My favorite recipe. . .
  #547  
Old 08-05-2018, 06:47 PM
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...dies with me.

Nobody is worthy enough to know the secret of my...
  #548  
Old 08-05-2018, 06:56 PM
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success and my dips.

Some dips are...
  #549  
Old 08-05-2018, 07:10 PM
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In a pool at night, in the nude and skinny.

You could get moon-burned if you______.
  #550  
Old 08-05-2018, 10:35 PM
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don't wear a hat, I like hats, a fedora is my favorite, I put one on and I think I look like...
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