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  #7501  
Old 12-30-2018, 09:28 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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The general public's not going to understand this, are they?
  #7502  
Old 01-02-2019, 03:14 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
  #7503  
Old 01-02-2019, 09:17 PM
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Oh you're no fun anymore.
  #7504  
Old 01-03-2019, 09:12 AM
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We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.
  #7505  
Old 01-03-2019, 09:58 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Minstrels [singing]: Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis....

Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads.
  #7506  
Old 01-05-2019, 07:52 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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Oh, you dumb cluck! We spent weeks organizing this job. Reg rented a room across the road and filmed the people going in and out every day. Vic spent three weeks looking at watch catalogues...until he knew the price of each one backwards, and now I'm not going to risk the whole raid just for the sake of breaking the law.
  #7507  
Old 01-10-2019, 03:05 PM
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And now ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to welcome the last of our all-England finalists this evening, from Bingley, the Bolton Choral Society and their leader Superintendent McGough. All right Bingley, remember you've got fifteen seconds to summarize Proust in his entirety starting from now.
  #7508  
Old 01-14-2019, 12:53 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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Anything goes in.
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old pajamas,
Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
  #7509  
Old 01-14-2019, 01:21 PM
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burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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Stop that! Stop that! Stop it; it’s filthy! You’re not even a proper woman!
  #7510  
Old 01-15-2019, 11:15 AM
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...just like my dear Papa!
  #7511  
Old 01-17-2019, 02:59 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Get on with it. Get on with it!
  #7512  
Old 01-18-2019, 08:32 AM
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Now, before I begin the lesson, will those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you.
  #7513  
Old 01-18-2019, 11:49 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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It's....
  #7514  
Old 01-21-2019, 08:54 AM
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I’ve soiled my armor
  #7515  
Old 01-21-2019, 03:48 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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'Tis but a scratch.
  #7516  
Old 01-26-2019, 10:23 PM
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I'd like to answer this question, if I may, in two ways. Firstly in my normal voice and then in a kind of silly high-pitched whine.
  #7517  
Old 01-27-2019, 12:12 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
  #7518  
Old 01-27-2019, 06:35 PM
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Ni!
  #7519  
Old 01-27-2019, 07:49 PM
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^ What an eccentric performance!

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 01-27-2019 at 07:50 PM.
  #7520  
Old 01-27-2019, 10:55 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
  #7521  
Old 01-29-2019, 10:00 AM
Shodan Shodan is offline
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Jealousy can be tricky - I can't do the mouth, I look all cross. It's a very fine line.

Regards,
Shodan
  #7522  
Old 01-29-2019, 12:50 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
  #7523  
Old 01-30-2019, 12:25 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas.
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge.
I've got lots and lots of lira,
Now the deutschmark's getting dearer,
And my dollar bill could buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
  #7524  
Old 01-30-2019, 03:03 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you!
  #7525  
Old 02-01-2019, 10:39 AM
kopek kopek is offline
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You can keep your Marxist ways
For it's only just a phase.
  #7526  
Old 02-01-2019, 12:27 PM
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K364 K364 is offline
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It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!
  #7527  
Old 02-01-2019, 02:19 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
  #7528  
Old 02-03-2019, 02:01 AM
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Yes, Mao Tse Tung?

"Sing, Little Birdie"?

Yes it was, indeed...Well challenged.
  #7529  
Old 02-04-2019, 11:49 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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'Ello Polly! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
  #7530  
Old 02-06-2019, 07:03 PM
Spectre of Pithecanthropus Spectre of Pithecanthropus is offline
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Good night ding ding ding ding ding ding!

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
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Change your latitude, change your attitude.
  #7531  
Old 02-07-2019, 11:05 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
  #7532  
Old 02-08-2019, 12:20 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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You are Mary, Queen of Scots?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLyB08xXoBs

(on the anniversary of her 1587 death)
  #7533  
Old 02-10-2019, 12:15 AM
kopek kopek is offline
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Location: Southwestern PA
Posts: 14,091
The world today is absolutely crackers.
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...
  #7534  
Old 02-10-2019, 12:37 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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I think she's dead.
  #7535  
Old 02-10-2019, 12:06 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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here's nine hundred million of them in the world today,
You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.
  #7536  
Old 02-10-2019, 04:35 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
  #7537  
Old 02-15-2019, 04:07 PM
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Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
  #7538  
Old 02-15-2019, 09:37 PM
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Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. I have in this box twenty-three white mice. Mice which have been painstakingly trained over the past few years, to squeak at a selected pitch. (he raises a mouse by its tail) This is E sharp... and this one is G. You get the general idea. Now these mice are so arranged upon this rack, that when played in the correct order they will squeak 'The Bells of St Mary's'. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you on the mouse organ 'The Bells of St Mary's'. Thank you.
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