Straight Dope Message Board

[burpo the wonder mutt]

He says you are very beautiful, Señora, and he is ashamed to ask five American dollars for this picture, but if he does not, his father will beat him.

[backsidejohnny]

Buddy, before you join the jubilation of my being beaten again you should remember that people vote not out of love but fear. They don't teach that at Sunday school or the Whitier Community Playhouse.

[Dendarii Dame]

As long as I am unable to exercise my constitutional right to vote, I do not have command of my own life, I can not determine my own destiny, for this determined for me by people who rather see me suffer than succeed.

[ekedolphin]

It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now... mine.

[KneadToKnow]

All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel... all this, and more, I... I bequeath you, my son. You will carry me inside you, all the days of your life. You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father the son. This is all I... all I can send you, Kal-El.

[Dendarii Dame]

A man is supposed to take care of his family. You live in my house, feed your belly with my food, put your behind on my bed because you're my son. It's my duty to take care of you, I owe a responsibility to you, I ain't got to like you! Now, I gave everything I got to give you! I gave you your life!

[KneadToKnow]

You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?

[Typo Negative]

Why can't we pick our own colors?

[Dendarii Dame]

It can't stop at once, because it's in you, and you can't stop something that's inside you.

[KneadToKnow]

You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.

[Typo Negative]

It's my head!!!

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

You and your nose, Charlie. You have a big nose! You have a beautiful, great big, flesh-and-bone nose! I love your nose! I love your nose, Charlie. I love you, Charlie.

[Dendarii Dame]

"Hello, Charlie. I didn't know we were speaking..."

"Sure, we're speaking, Jedediah: you're fired."

[ekedolphin]

No, I cannot be fired; I'm fired! Aaaaaaah!!!

[KneadToKnow]

You usin' the whole fist, doc?

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

Doctor Ross, are we considering how the subject is responding to the examination procedures?

[backsidejohnny]

Oh what are you talking about, for Chrissakes? Did you see her or not? She's acting like she's fucking out of her mind, psychotic, like a... split personality or...

[KneadToKnow]

If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

[Dendarii Dame]

It took a coma to wake me up.

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

DJ #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cold out there today!
DJ #2: It's cold out there every day! What is this, Miami Beach?
D.J. #1: Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing.
D.J. #2: That blizzard - thing. That blizzard - thing. Oh, well, here's the report! The National Weather Service is calling for a "big blizzard thing!"

[burpo the wonder mutt]

They just issued a tornado warning in Los Angeles.

[KneadToKnow]

The walls in the 53rd Precinct were bleeding.

[Dendarii Dame]

Well that's kind of a problem, painters won't come up here.

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of spook central.

[burpo the wonder mutt]

Art Deco. Very nice.

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

Back home everyone said I didn't have any talent. They might be saying the same thing over here but it sounds better in French.

[burpo the wonder mutt]

Il me perce comme un poignard.

[ekedolphin]

English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!

[Typo Negative]

I can't tell you that. It's classified.

[burpo the wonder mutt]

Speak. I know you have a civil tongue in your head because I sewed it back myself.

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothing yet!

[KneadToKnow]

The sustain, listen to it.

[backsidejohnny]

I can't stop thinking about that audience tonight. You don't know what it feels like, Mel, when they're all applauding and yelling and whistling. They did whistle, didn't they?

[Dendarii Dame]

"It's a dangerous play you're in."

"It's a great role."

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

You're going out there a nobody, but you're coming back a star!

[backsidejohnny]

Parted friends... everyone already knows! Box office poison! Box office poison! Class! You're... class... you're... class... box office poison! Eighteen years in the business and we parted friends! Creative differences!

[Dendarii Dame]

Okay, listen up. This is where you went wrong.

[burpo the wonder mutt]

How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?

[KneadToKnow]

You want to leave? You want to go off and fight the war? All right. All right. I won't stop you. I'll even put in the paperwork. I just know that every man I kill the farther away from home I feel.

[burpo the wonder mutt]

This ain't a goddamn field trip, people. This is a fuckin' war!

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

I always felt we tried to go a bridge too far.

[ekedolphin]

"Hey, Roger, what do you call the middle of a song?"
"Gee, I don't know-- A BRIIIIIIIIIIDGE!"

[KneadToKnow]

Find the controls that extend the bridge.

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

Go Go Gadgetmobile?

[backsidejohnny]

The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion.

[KneadToKnow]

Right. Now pay attention, 007. First, your new car - BMW Agile 54 with gears. All points radar. Self destruct system. And, naturally, all the usual refinements. Now, this I'm particularly proud of - behind the headlights, stinger missiles!

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

[ekedolphin]

I haven't had this roll developed since our trip to Catalina. It sure was a long time ago.