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  #251  
Old 05-01-2014, 11:48 PM
Esox Lucius Esox Lucius is offline
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Fats Domino had his first cheap, shitty pizza at a pizza joint on Blueberry Hill and was thrilled enough to write a song about it.

Last edited by Esox Lucius; 05-01-2014 at 11:49 PM.
  #252  
Old 05-02-2014, 12:17 AM
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Ron Howard was originally cast as the Fonz, but couldn't carry the tune to Blueberry Hill.
  #253  
Old 05-02-2014, 01:42 AM
Beware of Doug Beware of Doug is offline
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Barry White originally performed as a Fats Domino impersonator named Blue Barry Hill, until his voice mysteriously changed timbre after he almost swallowed a Popsicle stick.

Last edited by Beware of Doug; 05-02-2014 at 01:44 AM.
  #254  
Old 05-02-2014, 01:44 AM
drewtwo99 drewtwo99 is offline
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"Berry White" is a slightly tinted shade of white that can now be found in several rooms of the white house, after Barrack "Barry" Obama demanded they be painted in his honor.

Last edited by drewtwo99; 05-02-2014 at 01:45 AM.
  #255  
Old 05-02-2014, 02:35 AM
Sr Siete Sr Siete is offline
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Before becoming an actress, Betty White was a US Army nurse. She spent three years in Vietnam.

Last edited by Sr Siete; 05-02-2014 at 02:36 AM.
  #256  
Old 05-02-2014, 10:51 AM
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Betty White, the actress, is known for being a hard drinking, chain smoking, occasional-substance-abusing hard ass. She is actually 42 years old.
  #257  
Old 05-02-2014, 11:34 AM
AppallingGael AppallingGael is offline
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42 is the answer to 6x7 and not all that much else.
  #258  
Old 05-02-2014, 11:49 AM
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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight twelve.
  #259  
Old 05-02-2014, 11:52 AM
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The seven cardinal sins are wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and being a bad cook.
  #260  
Old 05-02-2014, 12:28 PM
Saint Cad Saint Cad is offline
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Originally Posted by Vita Beata View Post
The seven cardinal sins are wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and being a bad cook.
Which is why God made ketchup.
The College of Cardinals was started by Pope Anastasius III on November 19, 912 shortly after going insane. The original intention was to train the brightly colored songbirds to go before him in procession and sing. After the birds flew away the first time they were released, the Pope ordered the senior bishops of the Church to dress in red and replace the birds. Since at the time no Pope would "disrespect" the rules lay forth by a predescesor, this new "College of Cardinals" was never disbanded and eventually became entrenched in RCC tradition.
  #261  
Old 05-02-2014, 12:32 PM
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The four cardinal points of a compass are named after the shape of the religious dudes' pointy hats. These hats also happen to contain enough metal in their framework to swivel towards north if not firmly affixed.
  #262  
Old 05-02-2014, 12:51 PM
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four leaf clovers may be considered lucky but five leaf clovers... hoo boy, you would love to get your hands on one of those!
  #263  
Old 05-02-2014, 01:36 PM
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Unlike the three-leaf variety, four-leaf clovers are deadly poisonous.
  #264  
Old 05-02-2014, 04:25 PM
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Poison ivy does not actually cause a harmful reaction. But it's the host to a bacterium that most people are allergic to.

Last edited by Little Nemo; 05-02-2014 at 04:26 PM.
  #265  
Old 05-02-2014, 04:38 PM
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The comic book villain Poison Ivy was originally the first Robin, Batman's sidekick. Exposure to botanically engineered gas created by the now forgotten Dr. Phyll reversed his gender and gave her the poisonous touch and kiss abilities, which she first used on Dr. Phyll himself.
  #266  
Old 05-02-2014, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buddha_david View Post
Unlike the three-leaf variety, four-leaf clovers are deadly poisonous.
Also, they end with "she loves me not".

For play: The real-life versions of the characters played by Geena Davis and Lori Petty in "A League of Their Own" were two sisters nicole-named "Big Poison Ivy" and "Little Poison Ivy".
  #267  
Old 05-02-2014, 09:48 PM
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Geena Davis's first acting job was at the age of two, slugging down strained peas in a Gerber commercial.
  #268  
Old 05-02-2014, 10:42 PM
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Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum married secretly after their reported breakup, and continue to stay a happily married couple to this very day, away from the prying eyes of the Paparazzi.
  #269  
Old 05-02-2014, 10:57 PM
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While filming "Jurassic Park," Jeff Goldblum made sure no one was looking then pushed Laura Dern face first into the pile of Triceratops dung.
  #270  
Old 05-02-2014, 11:16 PM
Esox Lucius Esox Lucius is offline
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Fossilized Tyrannosaurus Rex dung has been found that contains human bones!!
  #271  
Old 05-02-2014, 11:54 PM
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The common image of T Rexes having proportionally small arms is based on an archaeological accident. When the first T Rex skeleton was found it appeared to have small arms and was reconstructed that way. But later paleontologists realized that the arms that were found at that first site actually belonged to a juvenile T Rex that died alongside its parent. The original reconstruction mistakenly attached these juvenile arms to the adult body.

Last edited by Little Nemo; 05-02-2014 at 11:55 PM.
  #272  
Old 05-03-2014, 03:47 AM
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The Greek playwright Aristophanes refers to a "great lizard that stands on its hind legs" in his play The Birds. Combined with contemporary mentions of his hobby of "bringing the bones of great, long-dead beasts out of the ground" and putting them together, he is widely considered one of the first paleontologists.
  #273  
Old 05-03-2014, 04:42 AM
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The word "paleontologist" comes from the Ostrogoth roots "pal" meaning "friend", "io" meaning "powerful", "neato" meaning "lunch" and "loge" meaning "make": that is, "the friend who barbecues like you wouldn't believe". Its current meaning is an error in translation.
  #274  
Old 05-03-2014, 09:43 AM
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The Ostrogoths were direct descendants of humans who had been captured and bred by Martian scouts.
  #275  
Old 05-03-2014, 11:04 AM
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Based on available data, Scientists theorize Martian soil smells like rusty nails dusted with cinnamon.
  #276  
Old 05-03-2014, 03:14 PM
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The "cinnamon challenge" was a brief YouTube fad where people challenged each other on how long they could keep their eyes open submerged in cinnamon.
  #277  
Old 05-03-2014, 03:23 PM
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Cinnamon milk is obtained by milking bees whose hives stand in cinnamon fields.
  #278  
Old 05-03-2014, 04:25 PM
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Marie Antoinette had a cloak fashioned from the fur of 15,000,000 bees, and an elk.
  #279  
Old 05-03-2014, 05:23 PM
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During the course of a lifetime, the average male elk will grow and shed three times its bodyweight in antlers.

Last edited by Little Nemo; 05-03-2014 at 05:23 PM.
  #280  
Old 05-03-2014, 05:59 PM
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The only known species where the male routinely outlives the female is the beluga whale.
  #281  
Old 05-03-2014, 09:59 PM
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Although the beluga whale, is the 3rd largest mammal on earth, it's throat is smaller than the average dog's. It cannot swallow anything larger than a golf ball.
  #282  
Old 05-04-2014, 01:03 AM
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Golf balls cause more skull fractures, per annum, than wives with frying pans/rolling pins.
  #283  
Old 05-04-2014, 01:32 AM
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Teflon, the non-stick frying pan coating, was developed as a material for coating public toilet bowls in order to reduce cleaning costs.
  #284  
Old 05-04-2014, 02:44 PM
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"Teflon-coated public toilet seats" was an early-'70s "Candid Camera" bit that was, unfortunately, never aired, for obvious reasons.
  #285  
Old 05-04-2014, 03:49 PM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
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The fear of sitting on a toilet seat warm from someone who recently sat there was considered for inclusion in the DSM-5.

Last edited by Leo Bloom; 05-04-2014 at 03:50 PM.
  #286  
Old 05-04-2014, 04:23 PM
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Phobos, the ancient Greek god of fear, was also the god of picnic baskets and groundhogs.
  #287  
Old 05-04-2014, 06:12 PM
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Zoologists have recently discovered a species of wasp which survives solely on picnics.
  #288  
Old 05-04-2014, 06:31 PM
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When Fiji Islanders watch a Yogi Bear cartoon, and Yogi says "pic-a-nic basket," they become outraged as Yogi has just called them "ass-face." When other characters say "picnic basket," there's no reaction.
  #289  
Old 05-04-2014, 08:05 PM
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The Fiji Islanders are the last remnant of the great civilization that was West Atlantis.
  #290  
Old 05-04-2014, 10:17 PM
Ulf the Unwashed Ulf the Unwashed is offline
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Fiji was named after the Dutch sea captain Pheegee van Snohomish (1589-1638), who stumbled upon the island while hauling coconuts from Tasmania to what is now Kiribati.
  #291  
Old 05-04-2014, 10:29 PM
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The Tasmanian Devil does not generate a tornado/dust cloud by spinning clockwise; it spins counter-clockwise.
  #292  
Old 05-04-2014, 11:09 PM
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On the moon, clocks don't spin clockwise or counterclockwise; they don't even work at all. This is due to lack of air pressure needed for the crystal oscillators to function properly. If you happen to have a wind-up watch that uses springs, it will be just fine on the moon.
  #293  
Old 05-05-2014, 12:03 AM
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The moon itself, however, is one really big clockwork asteroid, sent to keep watch on the humans by the Sentinels of Planet X.
  #294  
Old 05-05-2014, 01:57 AM
Pine Fresh Scent Pine Fresh Scent is offline
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In 1975, Arthur C. Clarke admitted to borrowing elements for 2001: A Space Odyssey from Ed Wood's screenplay for Plan 9 From Outer Space.
  #295  
Old 05-05-2014, 02:33 AM
drewtwo99 drewtwo99 is offline
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1975 was notable as being the only year in recorded human history in which no new records in any major sporting event were broken, not even in soccer - a sport in which the average rate of some record being broken is 3.2 months.
  #296  
Old 05-05-2014, 03:14 AM
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Pi is exactly 3.2, according to the Kama Sutra.
  #297  
Old 05-05-2014, 04:13 AM
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Kama Sutra translated into English literally means "Making Whoopee".

Last edited by Little Nemo; 05-05-2014 at 04:13 AM.
  #298  
Old 05-05-2014, 09:04 AM
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Whoopi Goldberg is the owner of seven patents, and is regarded as "the Mother of the Internet".
  #299  
Old 05-05-2014, 09:14 AM
Eutychus Eutychus is offline
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Whoopi Goldberg is the owner of seven patents, and is regarded as "the Mother of the Internet".
Ted Danson, however is not the father. It is reported that while Whoopie Goldberg worked at DARPA, Danson had to be physically restrained from coming to see her because of his habit of playfully pressing random buttons and saying "What does this do?"

Last edited by Eutychus; 05-05-2014 at 09:14 AM.
  #300  
Old 05-05-2014, 09:22 AM
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However, Ted Danson did start the mess at Chernobyl by playfully pressing randon buttons and saying "What does this do?"
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