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  #51  
Old 07-26-2016, 09:44 AM
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Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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Annie-Xmas is a Roman Catholic Sister devoted to the cause of the beatification of Sister Bertrille, the Flying Nun.
  #52  
Old 07-26-2016, 09:50 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Marge Simpson voice: I cannot begin to tell you what is wrong with that statement.

Prof. Pepperwinkle's first crush was Sally Field. He liked her; he really, really liked her.
  #53  
Old 07-26-2016, 11:04 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Annie-Xmas and Sally Field were sorority sisters at Blawnox State University but have not been on speaking terms since the unfortunate Botswana pickle-juice incident at their 10th reunion.
  #54  
Old 07-26-2016, 06:28 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Elendil's Heir is looking forward to his inheritance of $10,000,000 minus Elendil's current amounts owed to creditors including the IRS.

Enjoy your $10.42 buddy.
  #55  
Old 07-26-2016, 07:15 PM
Knorf Knorf is offline
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Annie-Xmas is actually a bigger fan of Halloween.
  #56  
Old 07-26-2016, 07:19 PM
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snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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Knorf likes to eat spiders.
  #57  
Old 07-26-2016, 09:57 PM
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Mean Mr. Mustard Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
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snfaulkner was Sgt. Shultz' body double on Hogan's Heroes.
  #58  
Old 07-26-2016, 10:36 PM
leftfield6 leftfield6 is offline
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Quote:
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snfaulkner was Sgt. Shultz' body double on Hogan's Heroes.


Mean Mr Mustard is actually a really sweet old lady with a slight ketchup fetish.
__________________
Afoot and light hearted, I take to the open road, healthy, free, the world before me...
  #59  
Old 07-26-2016, 10:49 PM
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snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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leftfield6 killed and ate his brothers, leftfield1 thru 5.
  #60  
Old 07-26-2016, 11:07 PM
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burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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snfaulkner misspelled his last name; he screwed up The Sound and the Furry, too!
  #61  
Old 07-27-2016, 12:22 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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burpo the wonder mutt's agent tried to get him some on-stage time at either the Republican or Democratic national conventions this year, but both turned him down, seeing little need for a yodeling, juggling, three-legged, incontinent Labrador/Dalmatian/Chihuahua mix to entertain the delegates.
  #62  
Old 07-27-2016, 05:49 AM
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Mean Mr. Mustard Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
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Elendil's Heir is, in fact, Ed Sullivan's heir. And all he was left upon Ed's demise was a really big shoe.


mmm
  #63  
Old 07-27-2016, 12:57 PM
Knorf Knorf is offline
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Mean Mr. Mustard did it in the conservatory with the candlestick. Also, despite this, he's usually really nice.
  #64  
Old 07-27-2016, 02:04 PM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
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Knorf is the illegitimate son of Tim Conway, named for the sound made by Siamese twin elephants connected at the trunk sneezing in a famous sketch. Conway has never acknowledged him but did name his most famous character Dorf in his honor.
  #65  
Old 07-27-2016, 03:29 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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As they have since 1977, Sampiro and samclem meet once a year in Cannes for a weekend of torrid sex, gourmet meals and mind-bending performance art.
  #66  
Old 07-27-2016, 05:12 PM
gkster gkster is offline
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Elendil's Heir has never read any of J.R.R.Tolkien or even seen the complete films. He just has a thing for Peter McKenzie who plays Elendil.
  #67  
Old 07-27-2016, 05:45 PM
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gkster has cooties
  #68  
Old 07-28-2016, 12:16 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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snfaulkner (short for "Snapper Nailgun Fallout Adamantine Ulkner") is an award-winning spiritualist and hairspray test subject.
  #69  
Old 07-28-2016, 09:12 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Elendil's Heir is beld BALD!
  #70  
Old 07-28-2016, 10:00 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Annie-Xmas is actually a reincarnated Annie Oakley without the marksmanship skills.
  #71  
Old 07-28-2016, 10:17 AM
ultimate11 ultimate11 is offline
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Elendil's Heir is a psychopath on the internet, but a normal person outside the internet.
  #72  
Old 07-28-2016, 10:20 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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ultimate11 is known for flipping the double bird (holding up both middle figures at once)
  #73  
Old 07-28-2016, 10:47 AM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
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Annie X-mas wears a special necklace with a bead for every ear and nose she has bitten off (so the story goes) of every sales clerk who's pissed her off.
  #74  
Old 07-28-2016, 10:59 AM
joyfool joyfool is offline
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Sampiro is Crolatvian for Swamp King. And although he regales us with erudite tales of his Ivy League type life, in reality, he sails the bayou with a peg arm (from gator wrestlin'), one and a half glass eyes and an aardvark as a co-captain. When they're not whipping up etouffee with frog legs, they're searching for Bigger Foot. He makes his booty from every rat he shoots (with a slingshot) and stuffs, then mounts in typical Mardi Gras garb. Be very afraid, especially of the aardvark. I hear it's rabid.
  #75  
Old 07-28-2016, 12:38 PM
Knorf Knorf is offline
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Faithfool actually lives in West Texas, and is the leading sponsor of an illicit armadillo racing gang.
  #76  
Old 07-28-2016, 12:51 PM
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Knorf is Tim Conway IRL. His career has been reduced to posting on message boards, and it is only a matter of time before he is spit out at the bottom of the porn industry.
  #77  
Old 07-28-2016, 01:09 PM
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Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Chefguy is neither a chef nor a guy.
  #78  
Old 07-28-2016, 01:13 PM
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Bullitt Bullitt is offline
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Intergalactic Gladiator washed out of the NASA space program, and boy is he pissed. He's on a mission to feed all astronauts to the lions after lopping off their heads. This, to better his chances to get into NASA. It hasn't been too effective.

So far.
  #79  
Old 07-28-2016, 01:15 PM
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Quote:
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Chefguy is neither a chef nor a guy.
Well, you're half right.
  #80  
Old 07-28-2016, 01:18 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Bullitt's favorite word is Bullshit, but the powers that be would not let him use that for a Doper name.
  #81  
Old 07-28-2016, 01:20 PM
Knorf Knorf is offline
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Bullitt recently auctioned off his collection of vintage Ford Mustangs in order to pay for a new building to house his gigantic sex toy collection.

NINJAED!

Annie-Xmas works as an acquisition manager in said sex toy collection.

Last edited by Knorf; 07-28-2016 at 01:21 PM.
  #82  
Old 07-28-2016, 03:28 PM
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Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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As everyone probably already knows, Knorf chose his name after the Knighted Nationalists Of Royal Finland, of which he is a loyal and decorated member.
  #83  
Old 07-28-2016, 03:47 PM
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Frodo Frodo is offline
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Intergalactic Gladiator is NOT an intergalactic Gladiator, he's merely interestellar.
  #84  
Old 07-28-2016, 05:23 PM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
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Frodo loves to find nursing mothers and ask the baby "Excuse me, are you going to finish that?" It's why he can't ride mass transit in NYC, DC, or San Francisco.

Last edited by Sampiro; 07-28-2016 at 05:23 PM.
  #85  
Old 07-28-2016, 05:59 PM
penultima thule penultima thule is offline
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Sampiro auditions for a spot as an extra on "The Sopranos", was unsuccessful and in a fit of pique has never watched an episode.
  #86  
Old 07-28-2016, 08:39 PM
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Bullitt Bullitt is offline
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If Thule is Iceland, and Ultima Thule is Greenland, then penultima thule must be...


unemployed, in Greenland.
  #87  
Old 07-29-2016, 10:51 AM
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Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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For reasons known only to him, his lawyer, and the governor of Montana, Bullitt uses sour cream and onion dip as deodorant.

Last edited by Intergalactic Gladiator; 07-29-2016 at 10:52 AM. Reason: correctteed miss-spehling uv berlit's nayme
  #88  
Old 07-29-2016, 10:56 AM
Gyrate Gyrate is offline
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Intergalactic Gladiator did not turn all those puppies into pies, despite what that boatload of nuns claimed.

He turned them into lasagna.
  #89  
Old 07-29-2016, 11:27 AM
Northern Piper Northern Piper is offline
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Gyrate's nun-fetish dates back to Sister Anne the Beloved, who taught him in Grade Five.
  #90  
Old 07-29-2016, 12:39 PM
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Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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Northern Piper is the world's only Inuit bagpipe player. His home in Inuvik, NWT has been egged by every other resident of the village.
  #91  
Old 07-29-2016, 02:02 PM
Knorf Knorf is offline
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Only 8/10 of Chefguy's restaurants have been successful. The rest became raunchy strip clubs or county Republican HQs.
  #92  
Old 07-29-2016, 10:53 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Every month or two, on average, Knorf has an after-midnight phone call from Joe Biden asking him to drop everything and come to Washington to give the Vice President a foot massage.
  #93  
Old 07-29-2016, 11:21 PM
CheshireKat CheshireKat is offline
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Elendil's Heir is a charter member of the South Dakota Society of Abacus Brains.
  #94  
Old 07-29-2016, 11:23 PM
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burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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Elendil's Heir bought his title of SDSAB for the princely sum of $29.99. He can't even spell "science." He's still waiting for his change, too.

CheshireKat runs naked 2 miles through the Washington state landscape every morning before settling down to "chores."

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 07-29-2016 at 11:25 PM.
  #95  
Old 07-30-2016, 12:11 AM
joyfool joyfool is offline
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Make up a rumour about the above user

burpo is an escapee from a flea circus. He was the side act because of his ability to belch so strongly, he moved their tent from town to town. No travel necessary. And in return, his only desire was to wear the green tutu with purple rhinestones. Which he still gets to do every Thursday afternoon from noon to 2:30. I know, I have pictures.

Last edited by joyfool; 07-30-2016 at 12:12 AM.
  #96  
Old 07-30-2016, 12:17 AM
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Biotop Biotop is online now
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faithfool knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes.
  #97  
Old 07-30-2016, 02:44 AM
Northern Piper Northern Piper is offline
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Biotop's parents were circus performers and intended to name him after their workplace where they met, but there was a typo in his baptismal certificate which they never were able to correct.
  #98  
Old 07-30-2016, 10:43 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Northern Piper can blow a pipe both from his northern and southern "openings."
  #99  
Old 07-30-2016, 03:07 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Annie-Xmas is actually a sock puppet for a sweaty, 500-pound dude who has previously appeared on the Dope with such usernames as Sandy-Easter, Penny-LaborDay, Judy-IndependenceDay and Susan-Thanksgiving.
  #100  
Old 07-30-2016, 03:18 PM
Knorf Knorf is offline
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Elendil's Heir is actually a projection of the Hypnotoad.
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