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  #151  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:47 PM
SuperAbe SuperAbe is offline
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Sheldon: I lost this to Wolowitz in an ill-conceived cricket wager.
Penny: What, do they have Wii Cricket now? Well, that can't be very popular.
  #152  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:53 PM
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Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
  #153  
Old 01-10-2017, 09:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperAbe View Post
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
This is one of my favorites.


Sheldon: My Kit-Kat has melted. All is lost.
  #154  
Old 01-10-2017, 09:15 PM
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I'm watching the episode where Sheldon pays Stuart to hang out with Amy so the gang can go to the movies. And Raj is sitting on his sitting stick.

Stuart: You look like Tigger if Tigger looked like a jackass.
  #155  
Old 01-11-2017, 12:17 AM
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Raj: I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!
  #156  
Old 01-11-2017, 09:09 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is online now
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Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
What's up, buttercup?

Knock, knock, knock,Penny?
What's the word, hummingbird?

Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
What's the gist, physicist?
  #157  
Old 01-11-2017, 09:25 AM
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Penny: Hi. You know, you probably don’t want to go in there.

Leonard: Why? What are they doing?

Penny: You know, the only way I could explain it would be in a therapist’s office with dolls.

Leonard (enters): Hoo-boy.
  #158  
Old 01-11-2017, 01:07 PM
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Penny: You really going to lie on the floor and pretend to be dead all night?
Stuart: What do you think I was going to do at home?
  #159  
Old 01-11-2017, 02:39 PM
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In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.
  #160  
Old 01-11-2017, 04:34 PM
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Soft kitty, warm kitty
Little ball of fur
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
Purr, purr, purr
  #161  
Old 01-11-2017, 05:52 PM
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No, Mother, I could not feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I'm home safe does not prove that it worked. That logic is post hoc, ergo propter hoc. No, I'm not sassing you in Eskimo talk.
  #162  
Old 01-15-2017, 01:27 AM
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Howard: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
Next line:
Quote:
Penny: Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares.
Sheldon Cooper: You heard her. How can I argue with me?

Sheldon Cooper: It's a waste of time. I might as well explain the laws of thermodynamics to a bunch of labradoodles.

Ramona Nowitzki: Oh, funny. But the idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity, I have to tell you, I found it physically exhilarating.
Sheldon Cooper: My hypotheses tend to have that effect.
  #163  
Old 01-15-2017, 07:10 AM
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Sheldon: Chickens are not, by nature, at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Raj: Chickens can't climb trees.
Sheldon: Thank God.
  #164  
Old 01-16-2017, 12:17 AM
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All my friends love this story. They call you Clogzilla.
  #165  
Old 01-16-2017, 05:14 AM
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N/M I screwed this al lup. Lemme get a redo-over.

Ha ha ha I even screwed up this uop. Classic me.

Last edited by Drunky Smurf; 01-16-2017 at 05:17 AM.
  #166  
Old 01-16-2017, 05:26 AM
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Ok. Lets try this again.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
What's up, buttercup?

Knock, knock, knock,Penny?
What's the word, hummingbird?

Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
What's the gist, physicist?
I;m up and can't sleep but I'm tired as heck. So I'm watching TBBT episodes on the DVR because fuck it.


Sheldon: Knock knock knock

Penny; Who do we love?

Sheldon: Penny

Sheldon: Knock knock knock

Penny; Who do we love?

Sheldon: Penny

Sheldon: Knock knock knock

Penny; Who do we love?

Sheldon: Penny
  #167  
Old 01-16-2017, 06:33 AM
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Sheldon: Ugh. English pudding. You get yourself all exitied for pudding and here comes a cake with raisians in it. I'm not going.

Amy: You're going.

Sheldon: Why do you hate me?

Amy: I Don't hate you. I love you.

Sheldon: Well, you call it Love but love it has a lot of raisians in in it.
  #168  
Old 01-16-2017, 06:38 AM
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Leonard: I've always been a little confused about this— why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism cattle are thought to be like gods.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!
  #169  
Old 01-17-2017, 08:11 PM
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I'm a vegetarian. Except for fish. And the occasional steak, I love steak!
  #170  
Old 01-17-2017, 08:48 PM
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Raj: [After Sheldon offers him a job] Please don't take this the wrong way, but I would rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple, and then die a slow agonizing death from viral infection, than work with you.
Sheldon: For me.
  #171  
Old 01-18-2017, 09:16 AM
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Sheldon: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose.
Raj: Well, seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I’d say it’s spot-on.
  #172  
Old 01-19-2017, 12:16 AM
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I'll do it providing I can do the Ceremony in Klingon
  #173  
Old 01-19-2017, 02:25 AM
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Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.
  #174  
Old 01-19-2017, 12:29 PM
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Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.
  #175  
Old 01-19-2017, 12:41 PM
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You'd better find my husband's mother, because one way or another, we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman!

Last edited by eschereal; 01-19-2017 at 12:41 PM.
  #176  
Old 01-19-2017, 01:10 PM
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Bernadette: I couldn't ride a bicycle because my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.
Howard: Oh, wow. You didn't, did you?
Bernadette: Not on a bicycle. In a Camry.
  #177  
Old 01-19-2017, 04:37 PM
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Corolla!
  #178  
Old 01-19-2017, 10:21 PM
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From the episode when the boys get back from the Arctic.

Sheldon: Hi Mom, no I told you I'd call you when I got home. I'm not home yet.

Alright. I'm home.

The Arctic expedition was a remarkable success. I'm all but certain there's a Noble Prize in my future. Actually I shouldn't say that. I'm entirely certain.

No Mother I could not feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I am home safe does not prove that it worked. That logic is post hoc ergo proctor hoc. No, I'm not sassing you in Eskimo talk.
  #179  
Old 01-19-2017, 10:44 PM
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Sheldon: [writing] Cause of accident - lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history ... When was your last menstrual period?
Penny: Oh, Next question!
Sheldon: I'll put 'in progress'. Okay, moving to psychiatric disorders, list all behavioral diagnoses e.g. depression, anxiety etcetera.
Penny: Oh, my God! What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?
Sheldon: [writing] Episodes of sub-psychotic rage.
Penny: Ass!
Sheldon: Possible Tourettes.
  #180  
Old 01-20-2017, 09:41 AM
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Penny: Leonard, you’re back.
Leonard: Yeah, I just stopped by to say… (she grabs him and kisses him) Yeah, so, hi!
Penny: Hi! (They stumble, kissing, into her apartment and slam the door shut)
Howard: Dammit, I should have gone over and told her we were back.
Raj: Yeah, it was first come, first served.
  #181  
Old 01-20-2017, 09:46 AM
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In a bar, Howard says he hasn't picked up a woman because Leonard is weighing him down; he's "a falcon who hunts better solo." Leonard responds with something like "Fine, I'll sit here. You go hunt." Then this:

Howard: You can't just tell a falcon when to hunt.

Leonard: Actually, you can. There's a whole sport built around it. Falconry.

Last edited by RivkahChaya; 01-20-2017 at 09:47 AM.
  #182  
Old 01-20-2017, 10:04 AM
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Amy: That’d be my boyfriend. Happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends than hanging out with me.
Penny: Wars.
Amy: What?
Penny: Star Wars. They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
Amy: What’s the difference?
Penny: There’s absolutely no difference.
  #183  
Old 01-20-2017, 10:12 AM
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Sheldon: I found the Grinch to be a relatable and engaging character, and I was really with him right up the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved Christmas. What a buzz-kill that was.
Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
  #184  
Old 01-20-2017, 10:13 PM
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Penny and Leonard have a bit of a spat because Leonard said the sex was "Just fine." And Penny leaves with Leonard running after her. Basically Sheldon had tattled to her about what Leonard had said. After they leave the apartment:

Sheldon: I sense I may have crossed some sort of line.

Raj: Ya you....

Howard: Buh buh buh buh buh. Let's see if he can figure it out on his own.
  #185  
Old 01-20-2017, 11:23 PM
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I was watching Entertainment Tonight and they had a segment on Jim Parsons aka Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and many many plays.

They had interviewed him because he has a radio show on Sirius XM on the " Radio Andy" channel and apparently today was his first day. It's called "Jim Parsons is too stupid for Politics." It's only going to run for 6 weeks. But he said he wanted to talk about politics from a neutral point of view and just talk about the facts.

He also said that he is an Executive producer for a Big Bang Theory spin-off show about a teenage Sheldon.
  #186  
Old 01-20-2017, 11:30 PM
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Oh, I forgot to add that he did say that he has no plans to leave TBBT.
  #187  
Old 01-21-2017, 06:00 AM
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Leonard: How can I go out with a woman who believes in psychics?
Howard: Hey, I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.
Leonard: And that didn't bother you?
Howard: Au contraire. It meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.
  #188  
Old 01-21-2017, 09:53 AM
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Stuart: I’m sorry, but you’re obviously stuck in a pre-Zero Hour DC universe.
Sheldon: Of course I am. Removing Joe Chill as the killer of Batman’s parents effectively deprived him of his raison d’ętre.
Stuart: Okay, you can throw all the French around you want, it doesn’t make you right.
Sheldon: Au contraire.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 01-21-2017 at 09:55 AM.
  #189  
Old 01-22-2017, 01:20 AM
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Sheldon: I got to see the inside of [Stan Lee's] house, and got a signed form for a restraining order from him.

Plus I get to hang out with him again, at the hearing. [Walks off to his room] This will look great next to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.
  #190  
Old 01-22-2017, 02:10 AM
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I did not mean to lead you on.
You touched my arm for 2 Mississippi's
  #191  
Old 01-22-2017, 02:22 AM
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Nine times out of ten, no problem
What about the tenth time?
Problem.
  #192  
Old 01-22-2017, 06:59 AM
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Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: "Who's Adam West"?!?! Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?
Howard: My guess is "Hey, four minutes! New record!"
  #193  
Old 01-23-2017, 11:19 PM
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Sheldon: We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars. We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks* on Mars. We could be the first to say, ' Good Lord what on Mars are you talking about?


*An awesome movie BTW.
  #194  
Old 01-24-2017, 02:22 AM
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Penny: So, what do you say, Sheldon? Are we your X-Men?
Sheldon: No. The X-Men were named for the "X" in Charles Xavier. Since I'm Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men.
Howard: Oh, that's not a good name.
  #195  
Old 01-24-2017, 01:39 PM
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Sheldon: The "Lone-Star State" should be its Yelp rating.
  #196  
Old 01-24-2017, 01:59 PM
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Penny: What do you mean, new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.
  #197  
Old 01-24-2017, 05:47 PM
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Sheldon: I just made a pot of tea. Would you like some?

Barry Kripke: Am I wearing a summer frock? No, I don't want tea.
  #198  
Old 01-24-2017, 05:49 PM
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Quote:
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Sheldon:We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks* on Mars.

*An awesome movie BTW.
Totally.
  #199  
Old 01-24-2017, 09:35 PM
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Howard: [to himself] In a situation like this, you gotta pick sides. You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Usually, I'm on the team that picks last... unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.
  #200  
Old 01-25-2017, 09:51 AM
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Missy Cooper: Missy: Okay. I’m not even going to ask why you’re pimping me out for cheese. But since when do you care at all about who I sleep with?
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