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  #201  
Old 01-25-2017, 08:09 PM
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Raj [to Howard]: Go away. She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli.
  #202  
Old 01-26-2017, 06:02 AM
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If you want to put on some music that would be ok

Wow this road trip just got crazy

Play that funky music white boy
  #203  
Old 01-26-2017, 07:38 AM
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Amy: I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.
Sheldon: Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
Sheldon: Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.
  #204  
Old 01-26-2017, 01:40 PM
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Imagine you're holding a pen.
  #205  
Old 01-26-2017, 10:46 PM
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Wil Wheaton and Penny are doing a podcast about the movie they did together, "Serial Apeist 2", and Kevin Smith calls in and Wil makes a joke about Kevins movies:

Kevin: You're crusin for a beaten Wheaton.
  #206  
Old 01-26-2017, 10:53 PM
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Also:

Kevin: Hey man are you OK because it's been like 2 minutes and you haven't brought up Stand By Me.
  #207  
Old 01-27-2017, 05:15 AM
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Penny: Tonight is Sheldon's first official date. Discuss.
Amy: Is this true?
Sheldon: Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown didn't count.
  #208  
Old 01-28-2017, 12:22 PM
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Brent Spiner: Oh, wow. I haven't seen one of these in years. (Rips open action figure packaging) Remember how we used to make things look like they were masturbating?
  #209  
Old 01-28-2017, 12:42 PM
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Sheldon: How many sexual encounters have you had?
Amy: Does volunteering for a scientific experiment in which orgasm was achieved by electronically stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain count?
Sheldon: I should think so.
Amy: Then 128.
  #210  
Old 01-31-2017, 03:02 PM
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Are you having a stroke?
Cuz that's the kinda thing that will ruin a party.
  #211  
Old 01-31-2017, 05:40 PM
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You're sitting in my spot.
Oh, gee... you gotta be kidding me.
Leonard, she's in my spot.
Yeah, yeah. Uh... see, here's the thing: after you leave, I still have to live with him.
I don't care. I'm taking a stand. Metaphorically.


(which seems kind of inconsistent, that Penny would know how to use a word like "metaphorically")
  #212  
Old 01-31-2017, 11:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eschereal View Post
You're sitting in my spot.
Oh, gee... you gotta be kidding me.
Leonard, she's in my spot.
Yeah, yeah. Uh... see, here's the thing: after you leave, I still have to live with him.
I don't care. I'm taking a stand. Metaphorically.


(which seems kind of inconsistent, that Penny would know how to use a word like "metaphorically")
Penny isn't dumb. She just isn't a genius scientist with a Ph.D (or in Howard's case, an engineering degree from MIT, which, no matter what Sheldon says, is pretty damn impressive). If Penny were dumb, she wouldn't be able to follow the plot of something like A Streetcar Named Desire, or understand The Diary of Anne Frank in historical context. She's undereducated, and not especially insightful, but someone who has taken acting classes has bumped up against the word "metaphor" many, many times.
  #213  
Old 02-01-2017, 02:37 AM
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Penny: Alrighty! What's new?
Amy: Well, just recently I learned that you refer to us as "Shamy", and I don't like that.
Penny: Uh, I got it, but what I was going for was—you know—how's your life?
Amy: Like everybody else's: subject to entropy, decay, and eventual death. Thank you for asking.
  #214  
Old 02-02-2017, 08:13 AM
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That's the wrong arm for a heart attack.
  #215  
Old 02-02-2017, 09:38 AM
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Raj: But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

(One of Kumar's absolutely best scenes)

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 02-02-2017 at 09:38 AM.
  #216  
Old 02-02-2017, 11:28 AM
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Leonard: That's great news about you and Bernadette [getting back together]!
Howard: Yeah, I think I'm going to take her to miniature golf.
Leonard: Oh, well, I guess for you guys, that's like regular golf.
  #217  
Old 02-02-2017, 11:41 AM
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Are you having a stroke?
Cuz that's the kinda thing that will ruin a party
  #218  
Old 02-02-2017, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooky View Post
Are you having a stroke?
Cuz that's the kinda thing that will ruin a party

Take a peek at post 210.
  #219  
Old 02-02-2017, 05:39 PM
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Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?

Sheldon: Screwed!
  #220  
Old 02-05-2017, 12:26 AM
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Is it because I'm Jewish? Cuz I'd kill your Mother with a pork chop to sleep with your sister.
  #221  
Old 02-05-2017, 02:43 AM
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Priya: Leonard, wake up.
Leonard: Huh? Huh, jus', sorry.
Priya: What for?
Leonard: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my go-to response.
  #222  
Old 02-07-2017, 04:58 AM
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I'm just gonna call my Mother, that's just what little Matzah Balls do
  #223  
Old 02-07-2017, 05:32 AM
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Amy: So anyway to make a long story short, turns out I have an unusually firm cervix.
Penny: You know, Amy, when we say girl talk, that just doesn't have to be about our lady parts.
Amy: Shame, cause I have a real zinger about my tilted uterus.
  #224  
Old 02-07-2017, 11:02 AM
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Any chance his car needs to be washed by a girl in a bikini ?
  #225  
Old 02-07-2017, 01:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
(One of Kumar's absolutely best scenes)
umm,
Do you actually believe that after the way you've just behaved that I would even consider recommending you for admission?
No. I'm gonna be honest with you. The only reason I'm applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don't have a desire to go to med school.
But you have perfect MCAT scores!
Yeah, just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn.
I think Kumar is not in Big Bang Theory

Last edited by eschereal; 02-07-2017 at 01:58 PM.
  #226  
Old 02-07-2017, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
Raj: But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!
And that's how a girl makes a scene.
  #227  
Old 02-07-2017, 07:09 PM
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Mary Cooper: The Lord never gives you more than you can handle, and fortunately, He blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup.
  #228  
Old 02-07-2017, 10:59 PM
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Have you guys been watching the reruns on TV?

I don't know if they run the reruns daily in your area but they run two a night in mine.

And they've had commercials for the new LEGO Batman movie Big Bang Theory crossover but they have the apartment and all the gang as LEGO. It's pretty neat.

I first noticed it yesterday.

Batman: (talking about Sheldon.) You are a Saint for putting up with him.
  #229  
Old 02-08-2017, 03:32 AM
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Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened!
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010 where we are transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?
Leonard: No. Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Well, who would ever guess that?
  #230  
Old 02-08-2017, 10:03 AM
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Originally Posted by eschereal View Post
I think Kumar is not in Big Bang Theory
My apologies to Kunal Nayyar
  #231  
Old 02-08-2017, 03:41 PM
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Schrodinger's Cat.
  #232  
Old 02-08-2017, 07:39 PM
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Howard: When you're in a public restroom, when foot do you flush the toilet with?
Sheldon: (After thinking a minute) Right, always right.
  #233  
Old 02-08-2017, 10:08 PM
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Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel: turns out that if you kill a starfish, it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
  #234  
Old 02-09-2017, 01:33 PM
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Penny is getting up to go tell Sheldon to stop playing the same couple of measures of music over and over again in the middle of the night when he is trying to figure out his earworm. There was a brief argument with Leonard over whose turn it was to deal with Sheldon this time.

This follows:

Leonard: (sing-songy) I love you.
Penny: Who cares?
  #235  
Old 02-09-2017, 05:26 PM
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Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order?
Sheldon: Since we come in every Tuesday night at 6:00 and order the same exact thing, and it's now...[checks his watch] 6:08, I believe your question not only answers itself, but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries as "Who Let the Dogs Out?" and, uh... "How are they hanging?"
Penny: [writing] Okay, so the usual with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.
  #236  
Old 02-09-2017, 08:47 PM
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Sheldon: Maybe I don't give your MIT education enough credit

Howard: I saw it on Myth Busters
  #237  
Old 02-10-2017, 12:44 AM
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Again, Readthe BookWe gave you.
  #238  
Old 02-10-2017, 01:12 AM
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Leonard: I found another Tweet from a student at Sheldon's lecture: [from his phone] "Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject and managed to make it completely insufferable. Plus, he looks like a giant insect."
  #239  
Old 02-10-2017, 11:32 AM
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KMN.
  #240  
Old 02-10-2017, 11:49 AM
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Are you crazy? This is a street fight, the street has no rules!
  #241  
Old 02-10-2017, 09:51 PM
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Mom smokes in the car; Jesus is OK with it, but we can't tell Dad.
  #242  
Old 02-10-2017, 09:57 PM
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BTW, haircut records do exist. The place my son gets his hair cut can look up what guard they typically use on his hair if he gets a barber he's never had before. They look it up in a computer.
  #243  
Old 02-11-2017, 06:41 AM
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Penny: Hey, Leonard, is your Wi-Fi down? I can't get on.
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It's now "Penny is a freeloader"... no spaces.
  #244  
Old 02-12-2017, 11:49 PM
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Trent Monocle
  #245  
Old 02-13-2017, 01:49 AM
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You are my heart
My universe
You are my heart
My universe
Dance number aside, I am so not gay.
  #246  
Old 02-13-2017, 05:22 AM
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God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases!
  #247  
Old 02-13-2017, 11:44 AM
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Oh, Bernadette,
Please play my clarinet!
  #248  
Old 02-13-2017, 07:40 PM
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Social protocol states: when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage.
  #249  
Old 02-14-2017, 07:38 PM
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Someone insults Star Trek.
Wil Wheaton: Yeah, "Live long and suck it!"

Last edited by RivkahChaya; 02-14-2017 at 07:38 PM.
  #250  
Old 02-14-2017, 08:49 PM
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Penny: Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?
Sheldon: Other than my mother, my sister and my mee-maw, no. But in the interest of full disclosure, I was once on a bus and had to give mouth-to-mouth to an elderly nun who passed out from heat exhaustion. Every year I get a Christmas card from her, signed with far too many X's and O's.
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