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  #151  
Old 02-08-2017, 12:51 AM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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"How much is a brazilian?"
  #152  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:40 AM
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Hell is where the police are German, the lovers Swiss, the mechanics French, the chefs British, and it is all organized by the Italians.
  #153  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:44 AM
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"Never mind ze THANKS; just repeat ze INSTRUCTIONS!"
  #154  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:47 AM
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  #155  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:53 AM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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I don't know. I don't have 2020 vision.
  #156  
Old 02-08-2017, 05:27 PM
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"Get your knee off my chest"
  #157  
Old 02-08-2017, 06:03 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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Because freedom rings.
  #158  
Old 02-08-2017, 06:12 PM
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"Fuck me, a dog that talks"
  #159  
Old 02-08-2017, 06:57 PM
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The psychiatrist says: "Next!"
  #160  
Old 02-08-2017, 07:13 PM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is offline
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That's a bomb in a bull.
  #161  
Old 02-10-2017, 02:10 AM
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"The crocs ate them all last year."
  #162  
Old 02-10-2017, 02:40 AM
Paul in Qatar Paul in Qatar is offline
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"The Aristocrats!"
  #163  
Old 02-10-2017, 03:55 AM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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The letter read: Sit down, and write two letters.
  #164  
Old 02-10-2017, 04:35 AM
6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast 6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast is offline
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"Why? Haven't you got a vase?"
  #165  
Old 02-13-2017, 09:33 AM
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Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
  #166  
Old 02-15-2017, 02:55 AM
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Oral sex?? You'll get oral sex when that kid next door walks on the moon!
  #167  
Old 02-15-2017, 10:51 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper The Other Waldo Pepper is online now
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"Aww, truly this man was the Son of God."
  #168  
Old 02-15-2017, 11:21 AM
RTFirefly RTFirefly is offline
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But the light bulb really has to want to change.
  #169  
Old 02-15-2017, 11:22 AM
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Two.
  #170  
Old 02-15-2017, 11:23 AM
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If the foo shits, wear it.
  #171  
Old 02-15-2017, 12:16 PM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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Because 7 8 9.
  #172  
Old 02-21-2017, 03:18 PM
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"Is the bar tender here?"
  #173  
Old 02-22-2017, 08:57 AM
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If you can find footprints in the butter
  #174  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:03 AM
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Uh, five, six, seven, eight.
  #175  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:05 AM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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An electric prune
  #176  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:26 AM
Srsly Dad Srsly Dad is offline
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A frog in a blender
  #177  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:31 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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A sunburned zebra
  #178  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:45 AM
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two nuns in a chainsaw fight
  #179  
Old 02-27-2017, 06:38 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper The Other Waldo Pepper is online now
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Professor, either you don't know how to fuck, or I don't know how to shit.
  #180  
Old 02-27-2017, 08:47 AM
Shodan Shodan is offline
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F-f-f-f-f-f-fucking anti-Semites.

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  #181  
Old 03-02-2017, 04:38 AM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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So, the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
  #182  
Old 03-02-2017, 10:36 AM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is offline
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"... and don't ever wear them again."
  #183  
Old 03-02-2017, 05:59 PM
saucywench saucywench is offline
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Kick it to Oakland!
  #184  
Old 03-02-2017, 06:36 PM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is online now
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You stupid horse, I said POSSE!
  #185  
Old 03-02-2017, 06:42 PM
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Nah, it was wousy.

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 03-02-2017 at 06:42 PM.
  #186  
Old 03-03-2017, 10:19 AM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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Can't be done. It's a hardware problem.
  #187  
Old 03-03-2017, 01:41 PM
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Well, my mood has changed. Now I want it to be Forbidden Planet

Shakespearean Sci-Fi!
  #188  
Old 03-03-2017, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AncientHumanoid View Post
Well, my mood has changed. Now I want it to be Forbidden Planet

Shakespearean Sci-Fi!
wrong thread
  #189  
Old 03-03-2017, 04:13 PM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is online now
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"And the Andorian said, 'Your brother? I thought it was your wife!'"
  #190  
Old 03-03-2017, 04:57 PM
SCAdian SCAdian is offline
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"He just called from Salt Lake City."
  #191  
Old 03-03-2017, 06:34 PM
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It's a good thing I didn't fart in the house.

(To one of my dad's standard 5 jokes).
  #192  
Old 03-03-2017, 10:43 PM
saucywench saucywench is offline
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Bring me my brown pants.
  #193  
Old 03-03-2017, 11:17 PM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is offline
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reditt...reditt...reditt
  #194  
Old 03-03-2017, 11:20 PM
carnut carnut is offline
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You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel
  #195  
Old 03-09-2017, 04:09 PM
saucywench saucywench is offline
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"They're all at the funeral."
  #196  
Old 03-14-2017, 08:25 AM
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If you think it's bad now you should see it when the Devil speeds by on his motor boat
  #197  
Old 03-14-2017, 12:32 PM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is offline
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Look at that S car go.
  #198  
Old 03-14-2017, 04:13 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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Your father would turn over in his gravy.
  #199  
Old 03-14-2017, 04:16 PM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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No, I have a Rincoln Continental.
  #200  
Old 03-19-2017, 05:28 AM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is offline
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Many are cold, but two are frozen.
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