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  #201  
Old 03-19-2017, 05:49 AM
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panache45 panache45 is offline
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No, I said SHIP me a ton of bricks.
  #202  
Old 03-20-2017, 12:41 PM
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I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
  #203  
Old 03-20-2017, 01:14 PM
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It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.

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  #204  
Old 03-20-2017, 01:45 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Same diagnosis; better HMO.
  #205  
Old 03-20-2017, 06:06 PM
SCAdian SCAdian is offline
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"They eat ***** and piss gasoline."

Insert racial/national/religious/ethnic/regional/sexual/whatever slur of your choice.
  #206  
Old 03-21-2017, 12:33 AM
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Won't matter none. Just gonna be the two of us anyway.
  #207  
Old 03-21-2017, 04:46 PM
SCAdian SCAdian is offline
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"And now you're a fish!"
  #208  
Old 03-22-2017, 12:02 AM
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Ooo, you're not gonna like Wednesdays.
  #209  
Old 04-02-2017, 12:43 AM
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No, i'm just eating ice cream.
  #210  
Old 04-02-2017, 12:44 AM
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Oh here are the pills in my other pocket. I gave you my chicklets.
  #211  
Old 04-02-2017, 08:16 PM
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"That's OK, honey. I was just coming downstairs to kill you."
  #212  
Old 04-02-2017, 08:40 PM
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"Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken!"
  #213  
Old 04-02-2017, 09:27 PM
DinoR DinoR is offline
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Clanggg!!!
  #214  
Old 04-03-2017, 09:17 AM
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Dung!
  #215  
Old 04-03-2017, 08:23 PM
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"Quick, Hymie - get the hammer and nails! He's back again!"
  #216  
Old 04-03-2017, 11:49 PM
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"It's all about the money with you Jews, isn't it?"
  #217  
Old 04-03-2017, 11:55 PM
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I wanted the heart that's never been used.
  #218  
Old 04-03-2017, 11:59 PM
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"Not really, but you were Prime Minister twice."
  #219  
Old 04-05-2017, 01:14 PM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is online now
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No,sir, but you are better informed.
  #220  
Old 04-05-2017, 01:29 PM
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"Because it saves time."
  #221  
Old 04-05-2017, 01:35 PM
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So the other one could drive.
  #222  
Old 04-05-2017, 02:46 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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"Nah, I'm just fucking with you. She's dead."
  #223  
Old 04-05-2017, 02:49 PM
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From LFG: "You saw it-The orphanage attacked me first!"
  #224  
Old 04-05-2017, 03:02 PM
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"OK, so where's this girl you want me to put the collar on?"
  #225  
Old 04-05-2017, 08:23 PM
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Pilgrims.
  #226  
Old 04-05-2017, 08:36 PM
Thin Ice Thin Ice is offline
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"Ah, just what I wanted, a hot meal."
  #227  
Old 04-05-2017, 08:39 PM
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Because they don't know the words.
  #228  
Old 04-05-2017, 11:26 PM
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IHOP.
  #229  
Old 04-05-2017, 11:27 PM
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Eileen.
  #230  
Old 04-05-2017, 11:28 PM
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Irene.
  #231  
Old 04-06-2017, 12:05 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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"OK, OK! I'm a moose!"
  #232  
Old 04-06-2017, 12:24 AM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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Oh no, not another fucking hat.
  #233  
Old 04-06-2017, 09:05 AM
Jesta Jesta is offline
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"com-for-ta-bull"
  #234  
Old 04-06-2017, 09:19 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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"So I asked my husband what we should give you for your Christmas bonus, and he said, 'Fuck him; give him a dollar.'"
  #235  
Old 04-10-2017, 11:10 AM
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because he likes to ho ho ho
  #236  
Old 04-10-2017, 11:52 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Because there are twenty of them.
  #237  
Old 04-10-2017, 03:47 PM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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"SUPPLIES!" x
  #238  
Old 04-10-2017, 04:14 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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A Methodist will say hello to you in the liquor store.
  #239  
Old 04-14-2017, 09:51 AM
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Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
  #240  
Old 04-14-2017, 09:54 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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I'll have you know my grandfather donated that light bulb!
  #241  
Old 04-14-2017, 10:25 AM
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The Panama canal is a busy ditch.
  #242  
Old 04-14-2017, 11:04 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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:: sigh :: Lemme see that fucking map again.
  #243  
Old 04-14-2017, 03:19 PM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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"Mommy, is Michael Jackson God?"
  #244  
Old 04-16-2017, 01:58 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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With nail scissors?
  #245  
Old 04-16-2017, 08:11 PM
JRDelirious JRDelirious is offline
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"Move aside, girls, I have to gargle."
  #246  
Old 04-16-2017, 10:46 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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"I don't know where ye've been, lad, but I see ye won first prize!"
  #247  
Old 04-17-2017, 08:08 AM
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To hold their pants up, silly
  #248  
Old 04-17-2017, 12:41 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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You can't know, man! You weren't there!
  #249  
Old 04-17-2017, 01:03 PM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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...but the light bulb has to *want* to change.
  #250  
Old 04-17-2017, 01:12 PM
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Cardigan Cardigan is offline
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No, but I enjoyed eating some delicious warm buttery popcorn someone had left on the stairs.

Last edited by Cardigan; 04-17-2017 at 01:12 PM.
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