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  #51  
Old 04-04-2018, 03:58 PM
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Ignore the last line, twas just a dream
  #52  
Old 04-04-2018, 04:12 PM
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I've made it through the afternoon slump
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Old 04-04-2018, 04:18 PM
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Then came the latest Tweet from Trump.
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  #54  
Old 04-04-2018, 06:24 PM
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He's all about the Mexican wall
  #55  
Old 04-04-2018, 06:44 PM
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To which I would like to nail his ball.
  #56  
Old 04-04-2018, 08:56 PM
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But now it's evening and night approaches
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  #57  
Old 04-04-2018, 10:22 PM
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Time to hunker down, in the Dumpster, with the roaches.
  #58  
Old 04-04-2018, 10:48 PM
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And have a shot of Harvey's Bristol Creme

Last edited by Cardigan; 04-04-2018 at 10:49 PM.
  #59  
Old 04-04-2018, 10:54 PM
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Maybe he'll die, maybe dream.
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Old 04-04-2018, 10:57 PM
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My peg-leg is really starting to itch
  #61  
Old 04-04-2018, 11:11 PM
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And my left eyelid has developed a twitch
  #62  
Old 04-04-2018, 11:34 PM
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Tis' time to end my internet browsing
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Waking a person unnecessarily should not be considered a capital crime. For a first offense, that is.
**"The Notebooks of Lazarus Long"
  #63  
Old 04-04-2018, 11:53 PM
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So I walked down to the pub for some carousing
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Old 04-05-2018, 01:35 AM
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Tell, me, Buddha, you still drinking?
  #65  
Old 04-05-2018, 01:48 AM
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To whom, Are you speaking?
  #66  
Old 04-05-2018, 02:59 AM
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To me, of course... who were you thinking?
  #67  
Old 04-05-2018, 03:20 AM
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Look up here, I am winking.
  #68  
Old 04-05-2018, 06:51 AM
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My parrot squawked he wanted a cracker.
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Old 04-05-2018, 07:43 AM
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She wouldn't stop, so I had to whack her.
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Old 04-05-2018, 08:55 AM
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She was a magnificent Norwegian blue.
  #71  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:13 AM
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The deposit on the back of my shirt the same hue.
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  #72  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:17 AM
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She was always for the fjords a-pining.
  #73  
Old 04-05-2018, 01:43 PM
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Even when the sun was shing?
  #74  
Old 04-05-2018, 02:10 PM
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Sunshine here, but still too cold
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Waking a person unnecessarily should not be considered a capital crime. For a first offense, that is.
**"The Notebooks of Lazarus Long"

Last edited by The Stainless Steel Rat; 04-05-2018 at 02:10 PM.
  #75  
Old 04-05-2018, 03:53 PM
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and yet me shorts are growing mold.
  #76  
Old 04-05-2018, 04:09 PM
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It's just a process for making cheese.
  #77  
Old 04-05-2018, 04:33 PM
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Care to taste a sample? Pretty please?
  #78  
Old 04-05-2018, 04:35 PM
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If its cheese you want, you should say please.
  #79  
Old 04-05-2018, 05:27 PM
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Well, give me some; don't be a tease.
  #80  
Old 04-05-2018, 05:40 PM
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The thought of cheese makes me weak in the knees.
  #81  
Old 04-05-2018, 05:50 PM
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My favorite food is honey, it's made by bees.
  #82  
Old 04-05-2018, 05:59 PM
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Especially stirred into hot ginger tea.
  #83  
Old 04-05-2018, 06:50 PM
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Can I make it till 7:00? I have to pee.
  #84  
Old 04-05-2018, 06:54 PM
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Incontinence strikes one out of seven.
  #85  
Old 04-05-2018, 06:58 PM
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Pissed on me shoes, size 11
  #86  
Old 04-05-2018, 08:19 PM
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There's no question, you'll not go to heaven.
  #87  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:02 PM
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Old baking powder will not leaven.
  #88  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:04 PM
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Why? The spirit was willing, just my flesh was weak,

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  #89  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:09 PM
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I was planning on just chilling, but the weather was bleak.
  #90  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:39 PM
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My new eyepatch fits kind of snugly.
  #91  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:45 PM
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It's too bad that I'm pug fugly.
  #92  
Old 04-05-2018, 09:49 PM
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I don't know a rhyme, except bugly?
  #93  
Old 04-06-2018, 12:18 AM
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The weekend's coming. Got any plans?
  #94  
Old 04-06-2018, 12:23 AM
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Teach my baby to walk, while holding her hands.
  #95  
Old 04-06-2018, 12:25 AM
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Does she have a baby-sized hook?
  #96  
Old 04-06-2018, 01:37 AM
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Not last I had a look.
  #97  
Old 04-06-2018, 01:44 AM
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How about a baby peg leg?
  #98  
Old 04-06-2018, 01:48 AM
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I read in a book, baby girls don't come with those.
  #99  
Old 04-06-2018, 01:53 AM
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Women with peg-legs--can they wear hose?
  #100  
Old 04-06-2018, 02:04 AM
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Too many splinters. It causes runs.
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