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  #10701  
Old 03-22-2019, 11:24 PM
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Cirrhosis, farewell.
Why did they name you that? Your
parents should be shot.
  #10702  
Old 03-23-2019, 09:01 PM
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Parents should be shot
If they don't get their kids shot,
As in, with vaccines.
  #10703  
Old 03-25-2019, 08:48 AM
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As in, with vaccines
They cause autism? Get real
And get your kids shot.
  #10704  
Old 03-26-2019, 09:21 AM
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And get your kids shot
Flu season is upon us
Then get your own shot
  #10705  
Old 03-26-2019, 09:51 AM
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Then get your own shot
Bohemian Rhapsody
Just killed a man *BANG*
  #10706  
Old 03-26-2019, 12:06 PM
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Just killed a man *BANG*
Put a gun up to his head.
Oops, can’t take it back.
  #10707  
Old 03-26-2019, 12:24 PM
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Oops, can’t take it back.
Unless you're Jussie Smolett
All charges dropped? WHAT?
  #10708  
Old 03-28-2019, 08:59 PM
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All charges dropped? What
A deal! It sure is nice to
Be rich and famous.
  #10709  
Old 03-29-2019, 09:58 AM
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Be rich and famous
And then you end up in jail
O.J. and Cosby.
  #10710  
Old 04-02-2019, 12:39 AM
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O.J. and Cosby
trotting through successes on
the backs of women
  #10711  
Old 04-03-2019, 07:50 AM
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The backs of women
Are magnets for healing hands.
Look at Joe Biden.
  #10712  
Old 04-03-2019, 08:40 AM
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Look at Joe Biden
Would he make a better Prez
Than the current one?
  #10713  
Old 04-03-2019, 08:39 PM
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Than the current one
That the back in the day one
This the future one
  #10714  
Old 04-04-2019, 07:22 AM
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This, the future one,
Starts a zero then passes
Through infinite points.
  #10715  
Old 04-04-2019, 08:15 AM
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Through infinite points
Stick your head out of the ship
And then scream like "Ahhhhhhhh!"
  #10716  
Old 04-04-2019, 10:32 AM
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And then scream like "Ahhhhhhhh!"
But how can anybody
Hear you scream in space?
  #10717  
Old 04-04-2019, 10:38 AM
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hear you scream in space?
it is not possible for
there is nothing there
  #10718  
Old 04-04-2019, 10:51 AM
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There is nothing there
stated the MRI tech
It's a no brainer
  #10719  
Old 04-04-2019, 11:26 PM
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It's a no brainer,
But don't worry about it.
No one will notice.
  #10720  
Old 04-05-2019, 06:48 AM
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No one will notice
If we switch the coffee brands
They all taste the same

https://dula.tv/videos/chris-farley-coffee-switch/
  #10721  
Old 04-06-2019, 06:44 AM
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They all taste the same
Frozen microwaved dinners
Pass the Frosted Flakes
  #10722  
Old 04-06-2019, 09:44 AM
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Pass the Frosted Flakes,
But keep the milk. Lactose is
Me intolerant.
  #10723  
Old 04-06-2019, 01:03 PM
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Me intolerant
Of those who don't like cookies
Says Cookie Monster
  #10724  
Old 04-06-2019, 08:43 PM
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Says Cookie Monster
Me like Girl Scouts. Girl Scouts have
The sweet stuff me like.
  #10725  
Old 04-07-2019, 09:51 AM
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The sweet stuff me like:
Peanut M&Ms, frosting,
fudge brownies...COMA!
  #10726  
Old 04-11-2019, 12:54 AM
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Fudge brownies…COMA!
Carrots, Brussel sprouts, green beans.
Vegging a coma!
  #10727  
Old 04-11-2019, 11:22 AM
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Vegging a coma!
Reviving a question mark!
Cool punctuation!
  #10728  
Old 04-11-2019, 04:46 PM
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Cool punctuation
And a great human organ
The humble colon.
  #10729  
Old 04-12-2019, 04:48 AM
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The humble colon
Always has to take shit, but
It gives a shit too
  #10730  
Old 04-13-2019, 12:24 AM
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It gives a shit to
That shitty shiatsu. Really
I don’t say shit much.
  #10731  
Old 04-13-2019, 06:11 AM
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I donít say "shit much?"
Unless I'm curious 'bout
One's bowel movements
  #10732  
Old 04-17-2019, 10:59 AM
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One's bowel movements
Is as interesting as
One's sex life. It's not.
  #10733  
Old 04-18-2019, 11:14 AM
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One's sex life. It's not
Fitting to talk about it
Loudly at a film
  #10734  
Old 04-18-2019, 04:10 PM
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Loudly at a film
My wife will swear quite often,
If science fiction.
__________________
Life is an economy. Where everything must be traded for something else and the value of all things rise and fall with the amount of attention and effort you put into them. -Mark Manson
  #10735  
Old 04-21-2019, 10:23 PM
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If science fiction
was nonfiction, Luke would be
voted president.
  #10736  
Old 04-22-2019, 09:03 AM
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voted president?
THAT Donald John Trump Junior?
Could not happen! D'OH!!
  #10737  
Old 04-23-2019, 09:02 PM
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Could not happen! D'OH!!
A Simpson becomes pres'dent?
Don't have a cow, man!
  #10738  
Old 04-24-2019, 12:05 PM
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Don't have a cow, man!
The sitting president's tweets
are bull excrement

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 04-24-2019 at 12:05 PM.
  #10739  
Old 04-27-2019, 06:16 AM
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are bull excrement
and excrement of horses
lying MF'ers?
  #10740  
Old 04-27-2019, 10:17 PM
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Lying MF’ers
are in competition with
honest SOBs.
  #10741  
Old 05-02-2019, 06:18 AM
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honest, SOBs
you're all a bunch of jerk-off
mealy-mouthed A-holes
  #10742  
Old 05-02-2019, 10:19 AM
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mealy mouthed A-holes
Are not worth a Hoover damn
Or a cigar's butt.
  #10743  
Old 05-07-2019, 12:59 AM
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Or a cigarís butt
Or a sappy haiku, or
Sloppy fake flowers
  #10744  
Old 05-07-2019, 09:51 AM
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Sloppy fake flowers
Mothers love receiving them
Happy Mother's Day.
  #10745  
Old 05-07-2019, 09:33 PM
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Happy Mother’s Day
Early to all you lovely
Mothers. Go crazy.
  #10746  
Old 05-09-2019, 06:10 PM
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Mothers, go crazy
Splash a little bourbon in
That morning coffee
  #10747  
Old 05-13-2019, 01:17 AM
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That morning coffee
This fine little haiku game
Keeps me going strong.
  #10748  
Old 05-13-2019, 09:30 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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Keeps me going strong.
My daily "meds" are not drugs
All thousand of them.
  #10749  
Old 05-13-2019, 10:06 AM
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All thousand of them
They are crawling up my arm
smiling, creepy ants
  #10750  
Old 05-18-2019, 06:57 AM
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smiling, creepy ants
always watching me. Gonna
return this ant farm
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