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  #201  
Old 04-26-2010, 08:59 PM
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Can we have your liver?
  #202  
Old 04-26-2010, 09:09 PM
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That was never five minutes just now!
Yes it was!
  #203  
Old 04-26-2010, 09:15 PM
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[singing] Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is good. [/singing]
  #204  
Old 04-26-2010, 09:23 PM
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Yes it was!
No it wasn't!
  #205  
Old 04-26-2010, 09:28 PM
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He wants to annex Poland.
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Where's the kaboom? After 500 posts, there should've been an Earth-shattering kaboom!
  #206  
Old 04-26-2010, 09:50 PM
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All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.
  #207  
Old 04-26-2010, 10:22 PM
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Oooh get the sword out, I want to cut his head off!
  #208  
Old 04-26-2010, 10:37 PM
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It's not a palindrome. Bolton spelt backwards is "Notlob."
  #209  
Old 04-27-2010, 01:47 AM
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No, it's just that there were twenty-eight of them.
  #210  
Old 04-27-2010, 02:04 AM
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Well ladies and gendemen, I don't think any of our contestants this evening have succeeded in encapsuladng the intricacies of Proust's masterwork, so I'm going to award the first prize this evening to the girl with the biggest tits.
  #211  
Old 04-27-2010, 07:45 AM
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Velly solly for hold-up ... no ploblem now ... me are Bishop of East Anglia, now plesent plizes ... Eyes down for first plize ... The Fyffe-Chulmleigh Spoon for Latin Elegaics ... goes to ... People's Republic of China!
  #212  
Old 04-27-2010, 07:51 AM
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On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place
  #213  
Old 04-27-2010, 07:57 AM
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I also am not of Minehead being born but I in your Peterborough Lincolnshire was given birth to. But am staying in Peterborough Lincolnshire house all time during vor, due to jolly old running sores, and vos unable to go in the streets or to go visit football matches or go to Nuremburg. Ha ha. Am retired vindow cleaner and pacifist, without doing war crimes. Oh...and am glad England vin Vorld Cup. Bobby Charlton. Martin Peters. And eating I am lots of chips and fish and hole in the toads and Dundee cakes on Piccadilly Line, don't you know old chap, vot!
  #214  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:27 AM
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Oh Lord, we beseech thee, etc etc etc, Amen.
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  #215  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:32 AM
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Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, etc. etc.
  #216  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:41 AM
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The Batley Townswomen's Guild presents: The Battle of Pearl Harbor.
  #217  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:46 AM
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Ugh. Me heap dizzy.
  #218  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:53 AM
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I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon.
  #219  
Old 04-27-2010, 09:01 AM
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O knights... who until recently said "Ni"!
  #220  
Old 04-27-2010, 09:21 AM
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Oh, oh "courtesan" oh aren't we grand
  #221  
Old 04-27-2010, 09:25 AM
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Do you have a copy of Thirty Days in the Samarkand Desert with the Duchess of Kent by A. E. J. Elliott, O.B.E.?
  #222  
Old 04-27-2010, 09:55 AM
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A duck!
  #223  
Old 04-27-2010, 10:38 AM
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Correct!
  #224  
Old 04-27-2010, 10:42 AM
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It's only a model
  #225  
Old 04-27-2010, 10:59 AM
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It's only a model
Let's try to avoid repeats, sportsfans.

Dinsdale was a gentleman, and what's more, he knew how to treat a female impersonator.
  #226  
Old 04-27-2010, 11:22 AM
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Mr Wiggin Yes, well, of course, this is just the sort blinkered philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss about the struggling artist. (shouting) You excrement! You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic handshakes! You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn't become a freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking, purulent knees and begged me.
  #227  
Old 04-27-2010, 11:34 AM
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A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.
  #228  
Old 04-27-2010, 11:34 AM
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And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped.
  #229  
Old 04-27-2010, 12:14 PM
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Ooh, ooh, ooh; want to learn how to defend yourself against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh? Well let me tell you something my lad! When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after YOU with a bunch of loganberries, don't come cryin' to me!
  #230  
Old 04-27-2010, 12:24 PM
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Yes, I know it's spelled Ramond Luxury-Yacht, but it's pronounced Throat-Warbler-Mangrove.
  #231  
Old 04-27-2010, 12:27 PM
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Yes, I know it's spelled Ramond Luxury-Yacht, but it's pronounced Throat-Warbler-Mangrove.
Another repeat.

There. Flopsy's dead, and never called me Mother.
  #232  
Old 04-27-2010, 12:39 PM
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I'm standing now by the crocodile pit where- AAAAAAHHHHH!
  #233  
Old 04-27-2010, 01:32 PM
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Ooo, ooo. "An hoop." Pardon me, Mater, while I play the grahnd piahno!
  #234  
Old 04-27-2010, 01:44 PM
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So Mrs Teal... if you send us 15 by return post, please, and your husband Trevor, and your lovely children, Diane, Janice and Juliet need never know the name of your lover in Bolton.
  #235  
Old 04-27-2010, 02:30 PM
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Wot's all this? The people called the Romans go to the house?
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Where's the kaboom? After 500 posts, there should've been an Earth-shattering kaboom!
  #236  
Old 04-27-2010, 02:46 PM
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How shall we fuck off, O Master?
  #237  
Old 04-27-2010, 02:47 PM
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That's a rather personal question, sir.

Last edited by garygnu; 04-27-2010 at 02:48 PM.
  #238  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:06 PM
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Look out there are Llamas!
  #239  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:09 PM
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Yes, we are all individuals!
  #240  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:10 PM
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I'm not!
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Where's the kaboom? After 500 posts, there should've been an Earth-shattering kaboom!
  #241  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:11 PM
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My theory by A. Elk. Brackets Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and belongs to me and I own it, and what it is too.
  #242  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:18 PM
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They're very good scissors.
  #243  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:27 PM
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Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.
  #244  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:32 PM
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All right, I'll have the dead unjugged rabbit fish.
  #245  
Old 04-27-2010, 05:14 PM
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NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
  #246  
Old 04-27-2010, 06:19 PM
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Well I think this isn't good enough. It should have a large red label.

"Warning. Lark's vomit!"
  #247  
Old 04-27-2010, 07:10 PM
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It's...bicycle repairman!!
  #248  
Old 04-27-2010, 07:41 PM
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I wave my private parts at your aunties!
  #249  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:50 PM
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I told him we already had one. Hee hee hee hee.
  #250  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:51 PM
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Always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
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