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  #251  
Old 08-14-2016, 08:26 PM
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slightly askew is straight.
  #252  
Old 08-14-2016, 09:12 PM
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Slow Moving Vehicle has been ticketed for speeding numerous times.
  #253  
Old 08-14-2016, 09:40 PM
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davidm's full name is David McRí. He doesn't let it be widely known, but he is the illegitimate son of David, Prince of Wales, formerly King Edward VIII.
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  #254  
Old 08-14-2016, 10:47 PM
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Northern Piper is tone-deaf and can't play a note. He can, however, replumb the hell out of your bathroom.
  #255  
Old 08-14-2016, 11:32 PM
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Slow Moving Vehicle's bathroom habits are such that he has to have plumbers capable of re-plumbing the hell out of a bathroom on standby at all times.
  #256  
Old 08-15-2016, 08:44 AM
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Princhester smells just like lilacs though Princhester really prefers daisies.
  #257  
Old 08-15-2016, 08:46 AM
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Intergalactic Gladiator once ate a car's radiator.
  #258  
Old 08-15-2016, 09:31 AM
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Annie-Xmas collects dust bunnies shaped like actual bunnies.
  #259  
Old 08-15-2016, 09:57 AM
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davidm. davidm.

Every morning at the mine you could see him arrive.
He stood six-foot-six and weighed two forty five.
King of narrow at the shoulder
at broad at the hip

and everybody knew you didn't give no lip to davidm.
  #260  
Old 08-15-2016, 10:11 AM
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Intergalactic Gladiator is a pacifist homebody.
  #261  
Old 08-15-2016, 10:13 AM
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slightly askew is actually perfectly aligned.
  #262  
Old 08-15-2016, 11:05 AM
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davidm's real name not only isn't David - he has never met a person named David in his entire life, and will plug his ears and loudly chant "Lalalalalalalalala!" if the name is even mentioned in a song or on TV.
  #263  
Old 08-15-2016, 01:39 PM
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"Lentils Air" was a schoolboy's nickname, pinned to him because of his multiple and odorous toots after the cafeteria's first and last lentil day. That schoolboy grew up to become Elendil's Heir.
  #264  
Old 08-15-2016, 02:37 PM
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Whiskey Dickens thought it was pretty clever wordplay when he created his username. Nobody else knows what a whisker dickens is though, so it was kind of a pointless exercise.
  #265  
Old 08-15-2016, 06:10 PM
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When Intergalactic Gladiator makes coffee, he slurps down the grounds and throws the liquid away.
  #266  
Old 08-16-2016, 07:35 AM
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Quote:
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When Intergalactic Gladiator makes coffee, he slurps down the grounds and throws the liquid away.
Princhester isn't human at all, but a rotating cast of Australia's deadliest creatures who share the same login. Today's creature; pile of venomous spiders.
  #267  
Old 08-16-2016, 08:19 AM
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Whiskey Dickens keeps his home bathroom locked and can never find his keys when he needs them. He's known for saying "Where are the dickens are my whiz keys?
  #268  
Old 08-16-2016, 09:01 AM
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Annie-Xmas has a tiny little orgasm every time she posts on the Straight Dope.
  #269  
Old 08-16-2016, 09:14 AM
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Secretly Elendil's Heir wishes he was Annie-Xmas. Most people do actually.
  #270  
Old 08-16-2016, 09:15 AM
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Elendil's Heir has a massive, earth shattering orgasm every time I post on the Straight Dope.
  #271  
Old 08-16-2016, 10:35 AM
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Annie-Xmas and Princhester are secretly conjoined twins. Fraternal conjoined twins.
  #272  
Old 08-16-2016, 12:38 PM
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Intergalactic Gladiator has a shrine to Scott Baio behind a secret panel in his bedroom.
  #273  
Old 08-16-2016, 01:23 PM
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davidm is davidmich's sock account. I look forward to your feedback.
  #274  
Old 08-16-2016, 01:49 PM
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Whiskey Dickens is actually a notorious teetotaler who prefers Hardy.
  #275  
Old 08-16-2016, 02:05 PM
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slightly askew is actually considerably askew.
  #276  
Old 08-16-2016, 02:09 PM
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davidm owns three Doctor Who scarves.
  #277  
Old 08-16-2016, 04:50 PM
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Nonsuch is a 12th level master in the deadly art of Tickle Fu.
  #278  
Old 08-16-2016, 07:00 PM
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Intergalactic Gladiator was born on a street corner in Philadelphia during the Second World War and carried home in a large crystal punchbowl.

Last edited by janis_and_c0; 08-16-2016 at 07:01 PM.
  #279  
Old 08-16-2016, 07:09 PM
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janis_and_c0 collects earwax, makes it into candles, and sells them on eBay as "Magic Wish Granting Candles".
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Last edited by davidm; 08-16-2016 at 07:10 PM.
  #280  
Old 08-16-2016, 08:05 PM
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And davidm is her biggest(and pretty much only) customer.
  #281  
Old 08-16-2016, 09:30 PM
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That's after Czarcasm, who often gets into bidding wars and has a garage full of them. He spends his evenings burning one after another while fervently wishing for things best left unsaid.
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  #282  
Old 08-16-2016, 11:47 PM
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davidm commissioned a statue of himself for his back patio.. it is constructed entirely out of Vegemite & empty Twinkie wrappers.
  #283  
Old 08-17-2016, 08:23 AM
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janis and c0 thinks Janis Joplin wrote Me and Bobby McGee, and Kris Kristopherson had her murdered when she threatened to go public and prove he didn't write the song.
  #284  
Old 08-17-2016, 08:34 AM
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Annie-Xmas is rumored to run a highly successful lost sock recovery business and to know the technical specifications of every clothes dryer manufactured in the U.S., China, Sweden and Peru. Christmas socks are her specialty.

Last edited by CheshireKat; 08-17-2016 at 08:35 AM.
  #285  
Old 08-17-2016, 08:45 AM
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CheshireKat wears dentures, so her smile can be seen all by itself. She has the largest collection ever (certified by the Guiness Book of World Records) with teeth in red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange and blue.
  #286  
Old 08-17-2016, 08:48 AM
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Annie-Xmas is a former Amish porn star, whose film credits include "Milch Maids" and "That Thing About the English"
  #287  
Old 08-17-2016, 09:01 AM
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Cardigan is actually a pullover.
  #288  
Old 08-17-2016, 09:15 AM
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Don't get davidm angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry.
  #289  
Old 08-17-2016, 09:50 AM
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Intergalactic Gladiator can never walk by a mirror without muttering, "No one gonna steal my soul today."
  #290  
Old 08-17-2016, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
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Elendil's Heir has a massive, earth shattering orgasm every time I post on the Straight Dope.
I deny it categorically, but I'd sure appreciate it if you'd post more. A lot more.

You know the party's really getting started when Nonsuch starts juggling wombats.
  #291  
Old 08-17-2016, 11:10 AM
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Elendil's Heir categorizes his orgasms, keeping the results in a neat, little file.
  #292  
Old 08-17-2016, 11:52 AM
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:: shudders, gasps a little ::

Uh... yeah. Where were we? Oh, right.

Annie-Xmas can sing dozens of Christmas carols in their entirety from memory, and has written four which she has never, ever showed to anybody.
  #293  
Old 08-17-2016, 11:57 AM
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Well, I do consider myself the official Straight Dope spokesperson for Carols For A Cure

Elendil's Heir hates all Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Fourth of July, Back-to-School Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving Day and Hanukkah songs.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 08-17-2016 at 11:57 AM.
  #294  
Old 08-17-2016, 01:17 PM
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Annie-Xmas is a huge fan of the the movie Home Alone and ends every conversation with "Keep the change, ya filthy animal."
  #295  
Old 08-17-2016, 02:28 PM
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Whiskey Dickens practices pro wrestling moves like moonsaults and power bombs with his drunken friends while tailgating before professional badminton matches.
  #296  
Old 08-17-2016, 09:04 PM
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Intergalactic Gladiator yodels.
  #297  
Old 08-17-2016, 09:40 PM
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slightly askew is a very shy Southerner known to say "May I slightly ask you a question?" in a soft, trembling drawl.
  #298  
Old 08-17-2016, 09:46 PM
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CheshireKat had a twin sister called Kit. At birth they were conjoined. Separating them required no surgery; the doctors just snapped them apart, revealing delicious chocolate covered wafer inside. The doctors ate Kit before her parents were able to stop them.

Last edited by Princhester; 08-17-2016 at 09:47 PM.
  #299  
Old 08-18-2016, 01:26 AM
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When confronted, Princhester attempts to ward off predators by inflating his neck sac.
  #300  
Old 08-18-2016, 08:06 AM
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Nonsuch is solelyresponsible for global warming.
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