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  #151  
Old 04-16-2018, 07:12 PM
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So you don't care about the disappointment of thousands of people who were planning on having an enjoyable day skiing and sledding.

I just finished supper and I'm stuffed.
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  #152  
Old 04-16-2018, 09:07 PM
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So you don't care about the disappointment of thousands of people who were planning on having an enjoyable day skiing and sledding.

I just finished supper and I'm stuffed.
Frankly I think it's disgusting that you'd equate your own gluttony with the plight of birds and other animals, who are murdered en masse and have their carcasses filled with even more food, just to satisfy your whims.

I'm watching Futurama.
  #153  
Old 04-16-2018, 09:18 PM
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Futurama is on and you didn't tell me sooner! WTF is wrong with you, goddammit!

*rushes to also watch Futurama*
  #154  
Old 04-17-2018, 07:27 AM
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*rushes to also watch Futurama*
So what's it like, you know, being a member of the herd and all?


My son is hoping that Santa Claus brings him a shiny new bicycle this year.
  #155  
Old 04-17-2018, 08:08 AM
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My son is hoping that Santa Claus brings him a shiny new bicycle this year.
The height of child abuse! Not only is it cruel to give a child a toy he can't use for six months, but more children are maimed by bicycles than any other device known to man.

I'd go skiing but the ski hills have closed for season.
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  #156  
Old 04-17-2018, 08:17 AM
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What? You want it to snow in April, disappointing all those children who got shiny new bicycles from Santa even longer? Don't you know children need fresh air and exercise?

I just love the TV show young Sheldon.
  #157  
Old 04-17-2018, 10:12 AM
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By your failures to capitalize the first word of the show's title and italicize the show's name, you reveal yourself to be utterly unworthy of the Dope.

I just started a new tube of toothpaste.
  #158  
Old 04-17-2018, 11:43 AM
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Typical stupid sheep, buying heavily advertised toothpaste when everyone knows baking soda is cheaper and works just as well.



There's a really pretty rainbow in the sky right now!
  #159  
Old 04-17-2018, 12:25 PM
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Rub it in, why donít you? Itís been rainy, cloudy, damp and miserable here. Besides, donít you have more important things to be doing besides gazing at rainbows? Next youíll be telling us about the unicorn in your backyard.

Iím transitioning our dogs to a new grain free food, they really seem to like it.
  #160  
Old 04-17-2018, 07:45 PM
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Rub it in, why donít you? Itís been rainy, cloudy, damp and miserable here. Besides, donít you have more important things to be doing besides gazing at rainbows? Next youíll be telling us about the unicorn in your backyard.

Iím transitioning our dogs to a new grain free food, they really seem to like it.
Yeah, I'm sure they "like" eating the same thing for every single meal, every single day. They're probably just grateful you remember to feed them at all.

I'm thinking of learning to knit.
  #161  
Old 04-17-2018, 08:11 PM
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What about sheep? The poor sheep. You bad person. How would you like your head shorn down to the skin every year.


I am watching the deer in my back yard, so pretty.
  #162  
Old 04-18-2018, 08:26 AM
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I was once held hostage by a mother deer and her two fawns as I was walking out my own front door. If I had made one move, the mother eff-ing deer would have charged me. So pretty, my ass!

I bought two new pairs of shoes today.
  #163  
Old 04-18-2018, 08:30 AM
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Shoes? You're talking about shoes right in front of ME!? My dear departed mother was kicked to death by someone wearing shoes six years ago. Could you possibly be more insensitive?

I think carpeting is preferable to hardwood floors.
  #164  
Old 04-18-2018, 08:34 AM
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I think carpeting is preferable to hardwood floors.
Oh, sure, let Jasmine's bronchial tube swell up and suffocate her because of all the allergens trapped in that filthy carpet! Who gives a shit as long as I have my precious carpet?!

I've always preferred fall to spring or even summer.
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Last edited by Jasmine; 04-18-2018 at 08:35 AM.
  #165  
Old 04-18-2018, 08:43 AM
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FALL is not the name of a season. It's officially called AUTUMN. Get your stupid facts right, godammit!

The real estate business is recovering nicely.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 04-18-2018 at 08:44 AM.
  #166  
Old 04-18-2018, 09:17 AM
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So your real estate holdings are showing nice profits? How nice. Frankly I'm surprised a 1%er would deign to sully themselves associating with us.

My father just gave me a $100 savings bond; no niggard is he.
  #167  
Old 04-18-2018, 11:06 AM
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You used the N word or some similar-sounding term, you racist.

I just got a nice performance evaluation and a raise!
  #168  
Old 04-18-2018, 11:23 AM
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You probably French kiss the boss' butt all day. Typical brown noser.


My son won the school spelling bee!
  #169  
Old 04-18-2018, 12:04 PM
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Yeah, I hear everyone getting a participation award is the new 'winning' these days.

Yay! I just got cast in the next Star Trek movie!

Last edited by Cardigan; 04-18-2018 at 12:04 PM.
  #170  
Old 04-18-2018, 02:32 PM
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Man, that franchise has gone on way too long. And no doubt you're playing the red shirt character who dies in the first three minutes.

I got three great books at the library.
  #171  
Old 04-18-2018, 02:51 PM
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Picture books, I assume.

Tuning up the law mowers so I'm prepared for the weekend!
  #172  
Old 04-18-2018, 02:52 PM
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I can see you out there at 6:00 in the morning, waking up the whole neighborhood with all your machines.

I got a new hand held device today.
  #173  
Old 04-18-2018, 03:31 PM
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Probably with the money you got from that raise you were bragging about. Did you ever stop to think there may be a better, more practical use for that money? Think of the starving children why donít you.

Iím bummed itís only Wednesday, I really wish it was Friday.
  #174  
Old 04-18-2018, 04:44 PM
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Back in my day we had four Wednesdays and 12 Mondays in a row! Only then could we starting thinking about a 6 hr weekend during our 10 minute lunch break on Thursday. Damn kids today.

I'm thinking about running amok through a crowded mall with a kris, Indonesian style.
  #175  
Old 04-19-2018, 07:35 AM
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Some might consider that inconsiderate if not downright impolite. For shame.

I wonder if the neighbors would mind if I painted my house aqua and puce?
  #176  
Old 04-19-2018, 07:44 AM
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You mean aqua and "puke"? Cause that's what I'll do on your porch every day I come home from work and am forced to look at that abomination!

My boss is out today, so I should be able to take it easy. Isn't that nice?
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  #177  
Old 04-19-2018, 08:04 AM
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Right, and let all your customers suffer from your bad service. And don't you know people can now put it on the Internet, where everybody finds out how bad your service really is? I hope your boss sees their comments!

I just won a $10,000 scratch off lottery ticket.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 04-19-2018 at 08:05 AM.
  #178  
Old 04-19-2018, 11:23 AM
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After spending $25,000 on tickets the past decade. Nice math skills, Hawking.


I quit smoking 6 months ago, and I feel great!
  #179  
Old 04-19-2018, 11:55 AM
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You were 'smoking hot' 6 mos. ago. Now you're a lard-ass.


I am going shopping for cute sandals, Yay!
  #180  
Old 04-19-2018, 12:01 PM
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With those feet?! You'll look like a deformed Hobbit!

I'm off tomorrow, isn't that great?
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  #181  
Old 04-19-2018, 01:25 PM
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You're off tomorrow, next day, and all the days after that, aren't you, you welfare-sucking leech?

Mmmm good, mmmm good, that's what Campbell's soups are, mmmm good.
  #182  
Old 04-19-2018, 03:55 PM
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Have you noticed the sodium content? I hope you plan on cutting out any extra salt for the next month.

I just donít feel like going to the kitchen and making dinner, my feet hurt.
  #183  
Old 04-19-2018, 04:00 PM
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You are always complaining. You ruin everything.

I am watching 'A Hard Days Night' on TCM.
So Beatlelicious!
  #184  
Old 04-19-2018, 07:29 PM
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You are always complaining. You ruin everything.

I am watching 'A Hard Days Night' on TCM.
So Beatlelicious!
You know the Beatles inspired the Manson family murders, right?

My new co-worker is really cute.
  #185  
Old 04-20-2018, 07:18 AM
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Put it back in your pants. She's Hope Hicksing your boss.

Bob Ross painted many happy trees.
  #186  
Old 04-20-2018, 11:56 PM
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I’m pretty sure that guy was the first well programmed robot. He wasn’t alive, man! How can you think of joy? Have you looked at the world around you? Well, Have You?

I stepped in some poop in my front yard.
  #187  
Old 04-22-2018, 10:43 AM
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Thanks, that was the beginning of my new, all natural compost pile. You idiot!


My coffee was so good this morning, I am having seconds!
  #188  
Old 04-22-2018, 02:26 PM
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Thatís a little greedy donít you think? I noticed you mentioned nothing about putting on a fresh pot for any other coffee drinkers.

Iím hungry, I bought some delicious clementines, I think Iíll have one.
  #189  
Old 04-22-2018, 04:41 PM
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Ooooh! Get ahold of the Galloping Gourmet ovah heah! Too froo-froo to say oranges. Nooooo, they're clementines. Like that makes any fucking difference. "Oh, but it's a tangor, a hybrid orange." Fine. Hope the extra money you spent to be a pretentious douchebag was worth it.

BBC American is doing a bio on David Bowie.
  #190  
Old 04-24-2018, 04:47 PM
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Hey, we fought the Revolutionary War to throw off the British colonialist yoke, and here you are watching a show about an English dude on a UK-run network. America First, man!

Speaking of patriotism, I'm teaching my niece the list of U.S. presidents in chronological order.
  #191  
Old 04-24-2018, 05:06 PM
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Why do you want to fill that young girls head with such nonsense? She'll not have room for important things.

It's a beautiful afternoon in South Arkansas.
  #192  
Old 04-24-2018, 06:11 PM
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Have you no consideration for the rest of Arkansas? Sounds pretty darn selfish if you ask me, you enjoying the weather in your little corner of the world.

We got no mail today, I like days with no mail.
  #193  
Old 04-26-2018, 10:05 AM
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Great, another marginalized loner type....sounds like we've got another Unabomber on our hands.


When I'm at Dairy Queen I always have trouble deciding whether to order a blizzard or a chocolate dipped cone.
  #194  
Old 04-26-2018, 05:09 PM
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There's other people waiting in line, you know. With things to do. Important things. Waste your own time deciding before getting there!

I punched a nerd in line at Dairy Queen.
  #195  
Old 04-27-2018, 11:26 PM
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And you didn't even consider the twerps, the geeks, or the dweebs? COME ON, MAN!

I'm going to JazzFest tomorrow.
  #196  
Old 04-27-2018, 11:40 PM
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Ptbbb jazz. They just make it up as they go along. I can do that.

Dee DeDee De Dee dee dee

I shredded my finger on a fromitz board heat sink. Blood is everywhere.
  #197  
Old 04-28-2018, 12:11 AM
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Dude, you are spreading your diseased fluids all over the place, clean that mess up now, and don't tell me your finger is hurting.


I am going to the movies tomorrow for the matinee.
  #198  
Old 04-28-2018, 10:56 AM
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What an idiot to take part in supporting the Hollywood elites!! Boycott the film industry of the masses!


I need to get off the internet and grocery shop.
  #199  
Old 04-28-2018, 11:42 AM
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Don't you know you can order food on the internet and have it delivered? What decade are yu living in anyway?

It's finally sunny and warm out today. My daily walk was a pleasure.
  #200  
Old 04-28-2018, 12:06 PM
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Try to have a little bit more empathy for those that maybe cannot enjoy a pleasurable walk because of a disability, injury, or illness. While you are at it, think of those that are not having such nice weather, itís really not all about you, ya know!

My husband and daughter have been out all day, itís been nice and quiet just being home with the dogs.
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