Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1251  
Old 04-23-2019, 09:36 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
I look good in short-shorts and stillettos.

Now if I could just lose______.
  #1252  
Old 04-25-2019, 01:57 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... the stilettos, my feet would thank me.

As for the short-shorts ...
  #1253  
Old 04-25-2019, 02:27 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
Who wears short shorts?


When I ran out of 'Nair' I went to______.
  #1254  
Old 04-25-2019, 08:45 AM
bump is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 17,576
.... the beach anyway.

Once at the beach, I saw a gargantuan expanse of fishbelly white skin....
  #1255  
Old 04-26-2019, 01:17 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
And no coppertone. Sunburn city!


When I got burned_______.
  #1256  
Old 04-30-2019, 06:44 PM
Patx2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 3,810
I called my boss and said I wouldn’t be in.

That’s not surprising because my boss
  #1257  
Old 04-30-2019, 11:42 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... doesn't expect me on days ending in "Y."

The boss does, however, expect me ...
  #1258  
Old 04-30-2019, 11:51 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
To have a tan.

I find that terribly_____.
  #1259  
Old 04-30-2019, 11:52 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
Dbl post.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 04-30-2019 at 11:53 PM.
  #1260  
Old 05-01-2019, 01:25 AM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 1,654
...reward because tanning is the only thing I'm skilled at.

I take that back. I am also good at filling...
  #1261  
Old 05-02-2019, 02:20 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... pie crusts.

I like baking, because it ...
  #1262  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:14 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
Feeds the roaring crowd.


When they are hungry they_____.
  #1263  
Old 05-03-2019, 12:07 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... grab torches and pitchforks, and threaten to storm my house.

But I can usually calm then down by ...
  #1264  
Old 05-04-2019, 02:27 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
Threatening lawsuits.



I want damages for_____.
  #1265  
Old 05-05-2019, 01:57 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... Half a million.

I have no grounds for such a sum, but ...
  #1266  
Old 05-07-2019, 09:18 PM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 1,654
...quitters never win. I'm going for it.

And i'll sue for pain and suffering because...
  #1267  
Old 05-07-2019, 09:48 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
I have a bruise on my ego.


In other news I'm going on_____.
  #1268  
Old 05-07-2019, 10:45 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... "Jeopardy."

I just hope they don't have a category about ...
  #1269  
Old 05-12-2019, 02:16 PM
Patx2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 3,810
the Easter Bunny.

I get chills every time I think about...
  #1270  
Old 05-13-2019, 12:39 AM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 1,654
...lists of the world's most smartest-like people because I are one.

I also made the list for ....
  #1271  
Old 05-13-2019, 12:52 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
My dust bunny collection.


Oh, I see it's late on the calendar for_____.
  #1272  
Old 05-13-2019, 03:42 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... "International Give a Cat a Treat Day."

Problem is, my cats ...
  #1273  
Old 05-13-2019, 07:01 PM
Patx2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 3,810
hate me.

I wouldn’t mind so much, but
  #1274  
Old 05-14-2019, 02:10 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
There is the danger of cohabitation with evil.

When my cats look at me they_____.
  #1275  
Old 05-14-2019, 03:27 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... are sizing me up as potential food, should I die.

I don't want to be eaten by my cats, so I ...
  #1276  
Old 05-14-2019, 04:16 AM
Covfefe's Avatar
Covfefe is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,253
renew my restraining order against them every six months.

Every six months I also take.....
  #1277  
Old 05-15-2019, 12:40 AM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 42,192
... a long vacation, usually outside the U.S.

On my last trip, ....
  #1278  
Old 05-15-2019, 02:42 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
The cats stowed-away in my luggage.


Cat hair covered_____.
  #1279  
Old 05-15-2019, 04:15 AM
Covfefe's Avatar
Covfefe is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,253
fettuccine is great once you shake the cat hairs off.

Cats tend to be experts at.....
  #1280  
Old 05-15-2019, 11:39 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
Travelling incognito.

I looked, my passport is_____.
  #1281  
Old 05-16-2019, 02:03 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... American, but my cats' are Siamese.

That'll create a problem when ...
  #1282  
Old 05-16-2019, 03:10 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
We travelled to the Isle of Man. For obvious reasons.

Therefore I decided to_____.
  #1283  
Old 05-16-2019, 03:14 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... travel to New York, which none of us needed a passport for.

But when we saw Times Square ...
  #1284  
Old 05-16-2019, 03:25 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
Nobody could tell me the time.

I looked at sky to_____.
  #1285  
Old 05-16-2019, 04:07 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... find my way, but really, who can see the stars from Manhattan, given all the light?

That's why, in broad daylight in NYC, I ...
  #1286  
Old 05-16-2019, 06:14 AM
Covfefe's Avatar
Covfefe is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,253
sleep until sundown.

The only drawback to that is I can't.....
  #1287  
Old 05-16-2019, 05:29 PM
LennieB is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 178
...figure out East from West then, and often end up in the East River instead of in the matinee of "Cats"!

Otherwise, NYC is a veritable....
  #1288  
Old 05-16-2019, 10:43 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... contestant for World's Most Interesting City.

It's a far cry from ...
  #1289  
Old 05-16-2019, 10:49 PM
Isamu is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Osaka
Posts: 6,203
... the mountains of Kyrat.

Which is where I spread the ashes of ...
  #1290  
Old 05-17-2019, 07:01 AM
LennieB is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 178
(Isamu, I had to Google to get it!)

....the last dozen cigars I smoked.

To make the trip I packed....
  #1291  
Old 05-18-2019, 12:51 AM
Covfefe's Avatar
Covfefe is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,253
a suitcase and a humidor.

I needed help shipping the humidor, so I.....
  #1292  
Old 05-18-2019, 03:26 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... called UPS, and they looked after it.

Problem was, that when I got it from them, it ...
  #1293  
Old 05-18-2019, 03:39 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
Was 50 acorns tied in a sack.

The men from the press said_____.
  #1294  
Old 05-18-2019, 04:47 AM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 16,551
... we only report the news.

So I took my problem to UPS, who said, ...
  #1295  
Old 05-18-2019, 05:23 AM
Covfefe's Avatar
Covfefe is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,253
"We forgot your shipment, would you like a refund?"

I wasn't about to take.....
  #1296  
Old 05-18-2019, 05:46 AM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 42,192
... that kind of crap from anyone.

But as my mom always said, ...
  #1297  
Old 05-18-2019, 05:57 AM
LennieB is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 178
..."Wear clean underwear, because you never know."

One thing I know is....
  #1298  
Old 05-18-2019, 08:40 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,159
It's good to have the both of you back


The way things are going_____.
  #1299  
Old 05-19-2019, 04:55 AM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 42,192
... we'll never get out of here alive.

Especially those of you who ...
  #1300  
Old 05-19-2019, 05:44 AM
LennieB is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 178
...can't figure out who's the mark at the table.

A major "tell" is....
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:22 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017