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  #51  
Old 10-19-2013, 04:31 PM
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"How to Cook for Forty Humans" - Simpsons Treehouse of Horror.

Largo62 - you might want to re-read the original post - not a fiction library, but a fictional one, ie made up of books that don't exist except in works of fiction. Otherwise, great choices.
Oh.






Now I'm embarrassed.

For a fictional book IN a fictional book, how about Emmanuel Goldstein's treatise on geopolitical realities in Orwell's "1984"?
  #52  
Old 10-19-2013, 04:36 PM
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To Serve Man
  #53  
Old 10-19-2013, 04:37 PM
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The point was that you claimed Richard Dawkins was the author. I guess you can't actually find a source any more than I could, so you resort to insult. Have it your own way.
It was a thing we call a joke.
  #54  
Old 10-19-2013, 04:49 PM
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All of Richard Castle's "out-of-print" novels:

At Dusk We Die
Bullets and Bracelets
A Calm Before The Storm
Dead Man's Chest
Deadly Storm
Death of a Prom Queen
Driving Storm
Flowers For Your Grave
Gathering Storm
Hell Hath No Fury
In a Hail of Bullets
Kissed and Killed
One Bullet, One Heart
A Rose for Everafter
A Skull at Springtime
Storm Approaching
Storm Fall
Storm Front
Storm Rising
Storm Season
Storm Warning
Storm's Break
Storm's Last Stand
Unholy Storm
When It Comes to Slaughter
  #55  
Old 10-19-2013, 05:29 PM
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The articles/book that Mark Twain never got to write about Japan.
BTW--this almost happened.
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"I cannot live without books."

- Thomas Jefferson
  #56  
Old 10-20-2013, 02:00 PM
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You'll probably want the collected films of Troy McClure on DVD in this make-believe library of yours: http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/List_..._McClure_Films
  #57  
Old 10-22-2013, 01:19 PM
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The Launcelot Panther stories by Gemma Bow and her classmates, from Noel Streatfeild's children's novel Gemma.
  #58  
Old 10-22-2013, 05:29 PM
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To Serve Man
A classic!
  #59  
Old 10-22-2013, 08:29 PM
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A classic!
Thanks ! I figured there should be at least one cookbook in the library
  #60  
Old 10-22-2013, 08:45 PM
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The Book of Three.
The Necrotelecomnicon
Or, for the more commerce minded, the Paginarum Fulvarum.
  #61  
Old 10-23-2013, 05:06 AM
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Hmm... I seem to remember a tome called something like The Necrotelicomnicon (also known as Liber Paginarum Fulvarum) might have some useful contact details
  #62  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:58 PM
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The Word of Kemmler. Should prove amusing here at Halloween.
  #63  
Old 10-23-2013, 02:53 PM
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"World Empire Lost", the military treatise by Armin von Roon

This "translation" appears in Herman Wouk's "The Winds Of War" and War And Remembrance."
  #64  
Old 10-23-2013, 03:00 PM
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The Janus Contract and Under a Yellow Sun, both by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Clark Kent.
  #65  
Old 11-03-2013, 11:04 PM
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In Stephen King's novella "The Breathing Method," collected in Different Seasons, he tells of an odd New York gentlemen's club which includes a fine library. Many of the books in the library do not exist outside of the club, and are apparently from a parallel universe. Among those mentioned are two law books, Twenty Cases of Dismemberment and Their Outcome Under British Law and Pet Cases. There is also a set of eleven particularly good novels by an Edward Gray Seville; the titles mentioned are These Were Our Brothers (1911) and Breakers (1935). There is a (unnamed by King) collection of cinema-related poetry including submissions by such actual poets as Robert Frost, Marianne Moore, William Carlos Williams, Wallace Stevens, Louis Zukofsky, Erica Jong and Algernon Williams. There is also an unnamed book by "an absolutely stunning poet" named Norbert Rosen. Don't look for any of these on your own or anyone else's shelves.

The same club is featured in King's "The Man Who Would Not Shake Hands," but with no mention of any nonexistent books.
  #66  
Old 11-04-2013, 05:00 AM
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While we've been able to read several volumes of Harry Flashman's private accounts, his official autobiographies, Dawns and Departures of a Soldier's Life and Twixt Cossack and Cannon, remain out of print.
  #67  
Old 11-04-2013, 05:04 AM
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While we've been able to read several volumes of Harry Flashman's private accounts, his official autobiographies, Dawns and Departures of a Soldier's Life and Twixt Cossack and Cannon, remain out of print.
good suggestions
  #68  
Old 11-16-2013, 10:31 PM
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In his 1944 robot short story "Catch That Rabbit," later collected in I, Robot, Isaac Asimov included this passage:

"Powell [a robotics engineer] reached for the Handbook of Robotics that weighed down one side of his desk to a near-founder and opened it reverently. He had once jumped out of the window of a burning house dressed only in shorts and the Handbook. In a pinch, he would have skipped the shorts...."

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 11-16-2013 at 10:32 PM.
  #69  
Old 11-17-2013, 05:34 AM
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For a fictional book IN a fictional book, how about Emmanuel Goldstein's treatise on geopolitical realities in Orwell's "1984"?
Beat you to it. See post 8.
  #70  
Old 11-17-2013, 10:05 AM
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The Annotated Adventures of Alice in Wonderland
Never get tired of reading it.
  #71  
Old 11-17-2013, 11:10 AM
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The Annotated Adventures of Alice in Wonderland
Never get tired of reading it.
The book itself exists, though, doesn't it...?
  #72  
Old 11-17-2013, 11:26 AM
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The book itself exists, though, doesn't it...?
Yup, it is available. I like the annotated version because it explains Lewis Carroll's
mathematical interjections into the novel as well as some hysterical events of the era.
  #73  
Old 11-18-2013, 09:42 AM
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You read the OP for this thread, right...?
  #74  
Old 11-18-2013, 10:13 AM
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Being a huge John Irving fan, I'd like Jenny Field's Sexual Suspect, all of her son Garp's books and Ellen James's books of poetry, including Speeches Delivered to Children and Plants.
  #75  
Old 11-18-2013, 04:17 PM
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The Sealed Book, from the radio series of the same name.
Tom Riddle's diary, from the Harry Potter series.

And the Dragon Scroll, from Kung Fu Panda.
  #76  
Old 11-18-2013, 06:37 PM
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[snip]
Tom Riddle's diary, from the Harry Potter series.[/snip]
Hhhmmm, I agree. In fact, There could probably be an entire section of the multidimensional Dewey Decimal System devoted to the Potterverse.

Please keep them coming - DESK
  #77  
Old 11-23-2013, 11:51 PM
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I just read Gideon Defoe's The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab and The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, a deliriously silly two-books-in-one publication, and it includes a listing of several dozen other such books, most of which have not yet and probably never will be written. Some of my favorites are:

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Rasputin
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ice Cream
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Rabbis
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Rabbits
The Pirates! In an Adventure with the Stock Market
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Heavy Petting
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Prussians
The Pirates! In an Adventure with the Pope
The Pirates! In an Adventure with the Political Supremacy of the Bourgeoisie
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Risk Management
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Public Sanitation
The Pirates! In an Adventure with the Special Olympics
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Jennifer Garner
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Lazy Post-Modernism
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Brockwell Infant School
The Pirates! In an Adventure with the Dignity of Labour
(Parts 1-4)
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Mormons
The Pirates! Did Not Mean to Say That Out Loud
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Richard Nixon
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Shaft
The Pirates! In an Adventure with a Damp Smell
The Pirates! Commit a Series of Horrific Atrocities
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Lingerie
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Your Mother
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
The Pirates! Are Overdoing It a Bit


And on and on....
  #78  
Old 11-24-2013, 07:34 PM
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The Holy Book of Universal Truth and Other Humorous Anecdotes, scripture of the United Church of Alan Dean Foster's Humanx Commonwealth.
  #79  
Old 11-24-2013, 10:17 PM
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The Heterodyne Boys and the Race to the West Pole!

And, of course, Trelawney Thorpe, Spark of the Realm!

Last edited by BrainGlutton; 11-24-2013 at 10:18 PM.
  #80  
Old 11-24-2013, 11:28 PM
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Hell's Bible, from the film Constantine.
  #81  
Old 12-01-2013, 11:00 PM
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Paul Sheldon's Misery Chastain series and Fast Cars
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Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir View Post
Nice! The lead character in Stephen King's 'Salem's Lot was also a novelist who had a book or two to his name, but I forget their title(s), and don't have King's book on hand.
I looked 'em up:

Paul Sheldon's potboiler series included Misery's Child, Misery's Love, Misery's Quest, Misery's Hobby (a pornographic spoof, privately printed and distributed to just a dozen friends of the author's, in which the heroine cheerily engages in bestiality), and of course Misery's Return. The novel Fast Cars was Sheldon's attempt to break out of the Misery mold.

Ben Mears, the novelist in 'Salem's Lot, wrote Air Dance, Conway's Daughter and Billy Said Keep Going. He was, by the end of the King book, working on a novel for Random House which might be the very book we've just read, or something very much like it.
  #82  
Old 12-02-2013, 12:14 AM
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In Stephen King's novella "The Breathing Method," collected in Different Seasons, he tells of an odd New York gentlemen's club which includes a fine library....

The same club is featured in King's "The Man Who Would Not Shake Hands," but with no mention of any nonexistent books.
Perhaps a bit of an aside, but I wish King had written more stories about this club, and David's membership in it. The stories that were told were excellent, and I'd like to hear more stories, and find out more about the club.

Heck, I'd like to be invited for an evening of storytelling. "It is the tale, not he who tells it," after all. I might be able to provide a good story. Or two.
  #83  
Old 12-02-2013, 08:48 AM
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A "real" volume of The Neverending Story might be interesting too.
I've got a copy of this, turns out the day to day stuff is rather boring and mundane. The abridged version is much better, has all the sex and adventure and not the boring train rides to work.
  #84  
Old 12-02-2013, 09:54 AM
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Don't forget Negations written by Enoch Soames.
  #85  
Old 12-02-2013, 11:21 AM
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Perhaps a bit of an aside, but I wish King had written more stories about this club, and David's membership in it. The stories that were told were excellent, and I'd like to hear more stories, and find out more about the club.

Heck, I'd like to be invited for an evening of storytelling. "It is the tale, not he who tells it," after all. I might be able to provide a good story. Or two.
Agreed on all counts. He hasn't published a story about the club since 1982, though, alas.
  #86  
Old 12-02-2013, 01:19 PM
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The fictional Anglo-American Cyclopaedia seems like an interesting work to include. However, I believe that this collection already exists at the Library of Babel.
  #87  
Old 12-02-2013, 08:08 PM
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Air Chrysalis, by Fuka-Eri.
  #88  
Old 02-23-2014, 07:52 AM
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The children's room must have The Six Bunny Wunnies books by Miss Helen Sweetstory, as popularized by Snoopy:

The Six Bunny Wunnies and Their Pony Cart
The Six Bunny Wunnies Go to Long Beach
The Six Bunny Wunnies Make Cookies
The Six Bunny Wunnies Join an Encounter Group
The Six Bunny Wunnies and Their XK-E
The Six Bunny Wunnies and Their Water Bed
The Six Bunny Wunnies and Their Layover in Anderson, Indiana
The Six Bunny Wunnies and the Female Veterinarian
The Six Bunny Wunnies Freak Out
The Six Bunny Wunnies Visit Plains, Georgia
  #89  
Old 02-23-2014, 08:04 AM
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Speaking of childrens books - I was going to mention "The world of poo" from one of the Pratchett novels but some buggar has gone and made itreal.
  #90  
Old 02-23-2014, 09:05 AM
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Several tomes mentioned as being in Unseen University's library. I'd start with The Summoning of Dragons if some time traveler could obtain a copy with the now-lost burnt pages.
  #91  
Old 07-17-2014, 10:00 AM
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The children's room must have The Six Bunny Wunnies books by Miss Helen Sweetstory, as popularized by Snoopy
How could I not mention Snoopy's own work "It was a dark and stormy night"?

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 07-17-2014 at 10:00 AM.
  #92  
Old 07-17-2014, 12:12 PM
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How could I not mention Snoopy's own work "It was a dark and stormy night"?
Which one?
  #93  
Old 07-17-2014, 12:56 PM
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Kramer's Coffee Table book about coffee tables

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

Wile E. Coyote's Acme products catalog

If there is a movie rental section in the library, then from the Simpsons, the "Its a Wonderful Life" killing spree ending version
  #94  
Old 07-17-2014, 01:26 PM
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Actually, The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, edited by Ira Steven Behr, was published in 1995. I gave it to my husband.
  #95  
Old 07-17-2014, 01:46 PM
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A Practical Handbook of Bee Culture, by Sherlock Holmes

The Seven Minutes, the pornographic book referred to in Irving Wallace's novel The Seven Minutes

Hedge Toads, Queen Snakes and Gully Cats, author unknown; part of Linus Van Pelt's personal library

The adventures of private detective Dixon Hill; known titles include:

The Big Goodbye
The Long Dark Tunnel
The (Curse of the) Black Orchid
The National Sheriff
The Listening Man
The Parrot's Claw



Quote:
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How could I not mention Snoopy's own work "It was a dark and stormy night"?
It's actually been published.
  #96  
Old 07-17-2014, 06:19 PM
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The Q document
  #97  
Old 07-21-2014, 09:39 AM
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How could I not mention Snoopy's own work "It was a dark and stormy night"?
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Originally Posted by Lumpy View Post
Which one?
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Originally Posted by Nonsuch View Post
BAH! I don't want to read a bunch of comic strips, I want to read the original novel. All of Them!

Ira Levin mentions Ruthanne Hedley's children's book Penny Has A Plan, and the second book she is writing. I'd love a copy if she finished it before going away with her husband for a weekend's "second honeymoon." And Rosemary's Baby All of Them Witches
  #98  
Old 07-21-2014, 10:25 AM
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Oh, anything from Garth Marenghi's canon of chillers. Such as Afterbirth, in which a mutated placenta attacks Bristol, or Black Fang, at heart a "what if?" story. In this case, "what if a rat could drive a bus? And what if it and its rat brethren took over and ate Parliament?"
  #99  
Old 07-22-2014, 08:06 PM
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For an obscure one: the complete notebooks of Henry Fool. On the other hand, they didn't sound like they'd be a great read, and could potentially get me killed or worse, pursued by Jeff Goldblum. Maybe I'll pass on those.

Instead, I want the complete series of Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut! I like the cut of his jib, and what a stare he has!
  #100  
Old 07-22-2014, 09:00 PM
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Afterbirth, in which a mutated placenta attacks Bristol,
Wasn't that an episode of Torchwood?
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