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Old 02-19-2019, 10:42 PM
Mr. Nylock Mr. Nylock is offline
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When the apocolypse comes, I'm raising skunks

Everyone prepping always talks about "investing in lead". People also talk about raising wheat germ or starting a worm farm using duct tape or somehting of the sort for surviving the apocolypse. I think those strategies are seriously flawed. You can run out of bullets and by that time you're already too much in the thick of it in my opinion.

What I would do is live on a mountain in like West Virginia or something and have skunks that always realease their skunk odor downwind. I think that works better because people just avoid the general area altogether.
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:17 PM
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What will you do if the attackers come from upwind?
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:23 PM
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Skunk Don't Comfront Me!
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:34 PM
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Why not just surround your homestead with hogweed? It looks like Queen Anne's lace, which is not irritating, but this stuff can leave people with serious rashes and even chemical burns.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heracleum_mantegazzianum
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Old 02-20-2019, 04:23 AM
Pithily Effusive Pithily Effusive is offline
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  #6  
Old 02-20-2019, 09:09 AM
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What will you do if the attackers come from upwind?
I didn't think of that. Maybe live on a cliff or something?
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Old 02-20-2019, 09:14 AM
Mr. Nylock Mr. Nylock is offline
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Why not just surround your homestead with hogweed? It looks like Queen Anne's lace, which is not irritating, but this stuff can leave people with serious rashes and even chemical burns.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heracleum_mantegazzianum
That's a really good idea. It might be listed as a noxious weed though in West Virginia.

The thing with skunks that I like is that you can't cut the odor down, like you could cut a plant down. It's just in the air and its hard to escape, people would just avoid it.
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Old 02-20-2019, 09:22 AM
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I don't have any sense of smell. I'll come help you feed the skunks.
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Old 02-20-2019, 09:44 AM
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^ Dung Beetle -- Apocalyptic Anosmic

A Quinn Martin Production

In color
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Old 02-20-2019, 09:57 AM
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I think after a while people will start to stink themselves and no one will care if they smell of skunk. Then it's game over for you, pal.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:00 AM
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Plus, you probably can't eat the skunks, if it comes down to it.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:03 AM
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Why would you want to survive the apocalypse? I don't see the appeal.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:04 AM
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"Smell them, my children of the night. What odor they make!"
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:20 AM
Mr. Nylock Mr. Nylock is offline
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I don't have any sense of smell. I'll come help you feed the skunks.
Shit, I wasn't ready for this at all.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:38 AM
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Maybe get some tigers to keep the anosmics away.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:40 AM
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Why would you want to survive the apocalypse? I don't see the appeal.
People irritate me, I even irritate myself. Maybe I would find it peaceful.
  #17  
Old 02-20-2019, 01:51 PM
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My area seems to be going through a skunk invasion--every few miles driving along the highway you see or smell a dead one. My cousin recently counted 13 on a relatively short drive. I don't know WTF is up with that.
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Old 02-20-2019, 02:37 PM
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I'm making booze if there is an apocalypse. I'll be able to drink away the pain, clean wounds, and make molotov cocktails. Nothing solves a skunk problem like burning down their neighborhood.
  #19  
Old 02-20-2019, 02:42 PM
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My area seems to be going through a skunk invasion--every few miles driving along the highway you see or smell a dead one. My cousin recently counted 13 on a relatively short drive. I don't know WTF is up with that.
Obviously a very forward thinking and intelligent person is appropriately preparing for the apocalypse but a few of their battle skunks are escaping.
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Old 02-20-2019, 03:33 PM
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A classic about skunks, from my youth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu5hzc2Mei4
  #21  
Old 02-20-2019, 03:42 PM
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I think after a while people will start to stink themselves and no one will care if they smell of skunk. Then it's game over for you, pal.
According to someone I read on Twitter, there's a 92% chance that the Apocalypse will include zombies. If zombies can stand their own smell, they can stand your skunks.

The remaining 8% likelihood involves rabid badgers. I have no idea if skunks will help there.
  #22  
Old 02-20-2019, 04:34 PM
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Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!
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Old 02-20-2019, 04:40 PM
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Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!
Smithers, release the hounds.
  #24  
Old 02-20-2019, 05:07 PM
Mr. Nylock Mr. Nylock is offline
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According to someone I read on Twitter, there's a 92% chance that the Apocalypse will include zombies. If zombies can stand their own smell, they can stand your skunks.

The remaining 8% likelihood involves rabid badgers. I have no idea if skunks will help there.
I think using rabid animals might violate the Geneva Convention - it sounds like biological warfare.
  #25  
Old 02-20-2019, 08:39 PM
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I think using rabid animals might violate the Geneva Convention - it sounds like biological warfare.
As opposed to your plan for chemical warfare?
  #26  
Old 02-20-2019, 10:05 PM
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Jeez, it's just the Apocalypse, no need to raise a stink about it!
  #27  
Old 02-20-2019, 10:30 PM
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I think a good hiding place is more important than perimeter control. Peeps gonna walk away from urban areas because bad people are gonna take over. Skunk* ain't stopping no-one. They're gonna be hungry and will eat any wildlife about. And pets. Maybe even other people. Need to hide, just saying. In the event of apocalypse I'll be hiding.

* skunk's gonna smell like roast beast.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 02-20-2019 at 10:32 PM.
  #28  
Old 02-20-2019, 10:35 PM
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^ You just better keep yer mitts off my last can of Who Hash!
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:45 PM
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^No worries. I prefer green eggs and ham.
  #30  
Old 02-20-2019, 11:23 PM
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Plus, you probably can't eat the skunks, if it comes down to it.
I was so hungry once, I swore I'd eat the Asshole out of a Dead One.

Last edited by Gatopescado; 02-20-2019 at 11:24 PM. Reason: And yet I still passed up a Sonic on the way to better victuals...
  #31  
Old 02-20-2019, 11:29 PM
Mr. Nylock Mr. Nylock is offline
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As opposed to your plan for chemical warfare?
It can't be that much worse than mace, and I believe that's legal some places.
  #32  
Old Yesterday, 07:22 AM
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Plus, you probably can't eat the skunks, if it comes down to it.
Are you saying "Li'l Abner" isn't a documentary?
  #33  
Old Yesterday, 09:03 AM
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Skunks, badgers, and zombies, oh my!

I'm still laughing about the "Quinn Martin production, IN COLOR!"

(rats, now I'm showing my age)


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  #34  
Old Yesterday, 09:44 AM
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Ever'body sing:

Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus, the Slack-Jawed Yokel!



[While hanging from a telephone poll] Hey, you know what? I could call my ma while I'm up here.
[Shouts] Hey ma! Get off the dang roof!

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; Yesterday at 09:48 AM.
  #35  
Old Yesterday, 10:10 AM
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Battle Skunks = band name
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