Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #15051  
Old 07-11-2018, 05:21 PM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 13,179
Max: I can't drive you around while you're killing folks. It ain't my job!
Vincent: Tonight it is.
  #15052  
Old 07-12-2018, 06:31 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
Ten thousand dollars for a taxi!
  #15053  
Old 07-12-2018, 06:34 AM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
Voodoo Adult (Slight Return)
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 25,125
Well, I'll give him another twenty minutes, but that's it!
  #15054  
Old 07-12-2018, 03:36 PM
CharmaChameleon CharmaChameleon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,859
Wisdom is the province of the aged, but the heart of a child is pure.
  #15055  
Old 07-12-2018, 04:08 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
"Keep our young boys pure!"

"Pure boys!"
  #15056  
Old 07-12-2018, 05:21 PM
backsidejohnny backsidejohnny is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 217
They want us to be good little boys now so we can fight some war for them in the future. Some war they'll decide on. We'd rather fight our own war right now.
  #15057  
Old 07-12-2018, 06:06 PM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
"War. Huh. Good God, you all."
"Oh, hell no. STEWARDESS! Get me another seat!"
  #15058  
Old 07-13-2018, 01:39 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
I hope there's a good movie on this flight.
  #15059  
Old 07-13-2018, 06:28 PM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
"Oh, great, the plane is landing!"
"The plane?! No, the plane lands in Italy! YOU land in England!"
  #15060  
Old 07-14-2018, 01:02 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
Any arbitrary turning along the way and I would be elsewhere; I would be different.
  #15061  
Old 07-14-2018, 01:20 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
You? Who are you?
  #15062  
Old 07-14-2018, 05:01 PM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
I'm Batman!
  #15063  
Old 07-14-2018, 05:01 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
Voodoo Adult (Slight Return)
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 25,125
My name's Forrest. Forrest Gump.
  #15064  
Old 07-14-2018, 08:49 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 21,595
They call me MISTER TIBBS!
  #15065  
Old 07-15-2018, 12:06 AM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
My friends call me Murphy. You call me... RoboCop.
  #15066  
Old 07-15-2018, 10:26 AM
backsidejohnny backsidejohnny is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 217
When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it.
  #15067  
Old 07-15-2018, 12:40 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
When you call me that, smile.
  #15068  
Old 07-15-2018, 12:46 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
Oh, come on! I'm just practicing Southern hospitality!
  #15069  
Old 07-15-2018, 02:15 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
Well, I wish I was in Dixie.
  #15070  
Old 07-15-2018, 06:26 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
Voodoo Adult (Slight Return)
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 25,125
When you tell somebody somethin', it depends on what part of the country you're standin' in... as to just how dumb you are.
  #15071  
Old 07-16-2018, 06:23 AM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
  #15072  
Old 07-16-2018, 11:09 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
You can't keep a kid from growing up. All a 13-year-old boy wants is a 13-year-old girl.
  #15073  
Old 07-16-2018, 01:21 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
Voodoo Adult (Slight Return)
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 25,125
Is this a kissing book?
  #15074  
Old 07-16-2018, 03:00 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind.
  #15075  
Old 07-16-2018, 03:11 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 21,595
She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister.
  #15076  
Old 07-17-2018, 09:53 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
Now I gotta cut loose
Footloose, kick off the Sunday shoes
  #15077  
Old 07-17-2018, 11:18 AM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 21,595
Relax! Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phoney-baloney God! How ya doin'? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
  #15078  
Old 07-17-2018, 11:35 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ...
  #15079  
Old 07-17-2018, 04:02 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
Voodoo Adult (Slight Return)
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 25,125
Should have called him The Dork!
  #15080  
Old 07-17-2018, 06:40 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
Please, quit being a knucklehead.
  #15081  
Old 07-17-2018, 08:24 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 21,595
He ain't no cuckoo. He's dumb, but he ain't crazy.
  #15082  
Old 07-18-2018, 04:14 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
  #15083  
Old 07-18-2018, 04:18 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
Hot! Hot!
Ooh, we got it!
Hot! Hot!
Hey, we got it!
Hot! Hot!
Say, we got it!
Hot chocolate!
  #15084  
Old 07-18-2018, 05:24 PM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
This boy is fueled, like FIRE, so start melting, ladies. 'Cuz the boy is hotter than hot; he's HOT, HOT, HOT!
  #15085  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:17 PM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 13,179
I don't mind.
  #15086  
Old 07-18-2018, 11:15 PM
backsidejohnny backsidejohnny is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 217
I'm going to ask you a straightforward question: isn't it true that you have, perhaps unwillingly, acquired a certain habit through association with certain undesirable people?
  #15087  
Old 07-19-2018, 08:11 AM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 13,179
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
  #15088  
Old 07-19-2018, 06:36 PM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
Always tell the truth, George; it's the easiest thing to remember.
  #15089  
Old 07-19-2018, 06:41 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
Do you want to hear the truth which you should hear and I'll tell you, and not just what you think you want to hear? The truth is that George is gone and it is you're fault. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?
  #15090  
Old 07-19-2018, 10:14 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 21,595
You can't handle the truth!
  #15091  
Old 07-20-2018, 08:52 AM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 13,179
Quote:
Originally Posted by ekedolphin View Post
Always tell the truth, George; it's the easiest thing to remember.
[is this segue via the Seinfeld Contest?]
  #15092  
Old 07-20-2018, 09:02 AM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 13,179
[reporter 1] -- Is there any truth in the report that you're on Stalin's payroll?
[reporter 2] -- Yeah, the Senator claims you sleep in Red underwear.
-- Never mind the jokes. Don't forget I'm the Mayor of this town.
  #15093  
Old 07-20-2018, 12:19 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
As Mayor of the Munchkin City, in the county of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally.
  #15094  
Old 07-20-2018, 01:42 PM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 13,179
The whole housing market is propped up on these bad loans. It's a time bomb, and I want to short it.
  #15095  
Old 07-20-2018, 05:00 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
"lt's a warhead, MacGruber. You can defuse it, right?"

"Are you kidding me? Look at all this crap. There's, like, a million wires in here. l'm more like a three-wire guy."
  #15096  
Old 07-20-2018, 05:33 PM
backsidejohnny backsidejohnny is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 217
There's one thing you don't know about me, my dear. My PhD is in... dance!
  #15097  
Old 07-20-2018, 05:55 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 21,595
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here.
  #15098  
Old 07-21-2018, 12:42 AM
ekedolphin ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 4,044
Deaaaaaaaaaaaar kindly Sergeant Krupke,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringing up-kee
That gets us outta hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly, Moses, naturally we're punks!
  #15099  
Old 07-21-2018, 07:46 AM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 12,934
Aw, what chance have they got against all this? They gotta fight for a place to play, fight for a little extra somethin' to eat, fight for everything. They get used to fightin'. "Enemies of society" it says in the papers... why not? What've they got to be so friendly about?
  #15100  
Old 07-21-2018, 09:00 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 52,510
I'll be all around in the dark - I'll be everywhere. Wherever you can look - wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad. I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry and they know supper's ready, and when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise and livin' in the houses they build - I'll be there, too.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:07 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017