Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-04-2014, 10:53 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Five-Word Movie Review

Inspired by this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=691883

I thought it might be fun to try it as a game.

The Rules

1. Address three movies at a time, reviewing or describing each in just five words. Bonus points for wit, elegance and puns.
2. End your post with a genre, theme or descriptor (cowboy movies, Jimmy Stewart movies, movies with a color in the title, etc.) for the next poster.
3. If there are simulposts, the second-appearing poster need not redo his or her movies, but should repeat the ending genre, theme or descriptor of the first poster. If he or she doesn't, the next poster should repeat that genre, theme or descriptor, so that each one gets done eventually.
4. Genres, themes and descriptors may be repeated if there is at least one intervening different example.

I'll start....

War movies:

Glory
Soldiers suffer, win respect, die.

Breaker Morant
Three Aussie officers get railroaded.

Patton
Good Lord, what an ego!

Next:

Film noir.
  #2  
Old 02-04-2014, 11:24 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Film noir.

The Maltese Falcon
Fat man wants a bird.

The Big Sleep
Hays Code changed the murder.

Double Indemnity
Fred MacMurray's a serial killer.

Next:

Madcap romantic comedies.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-04-2014 at 11:24 AM.
  #3  
Old 02-04-2014, 01:31 PM
C K Dexter Haven C K Dexter Haven is offline
Right Hand of the Master
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Chicago north suburb
Posts: 16,078
Madcap romantic comedies:

Bringing Up Baby
"Ohhh, David, a leopard!"

Philadelphia Story
"My, but she was yar."

Super-hero movies

Last edited by C K Dexter Haven; 02-04-2014 at 01:35 PM.
  #4  
Old 02-04-2014, 01:51 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Super-hero movies

Batman
Pow! Wham! Bop! Holy camp!

Superman
Look, up in the sky!

Fantastic Four
How come Doom's face's visible?

Next:

Westerns

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-04-2014 at 01:52 PM.
  #5  
Old 02-04-2014, 03:24 PM
YogSothoth YogSothoth is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,000
Westerns

Django Unchained
Jamie Foxx invents dynamite early

The Great Train Robbery
That guy's shooting at us!

The Lone Ranger
Worst for Indians than smallpox

Next:

Science Fiction
  #6  
Old 02-04-2014, 04:29 PM
Just Ed Just Ed is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NJ, USA
Posts: 1,449
Science Fiction:

The Blob: Jello from space threatens consumption

Blade Runner: Humans and replicants fighting destiny

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Music soothes the alien beast

Next: Comedy
  #7  
Old 02-04-2014, 04:51 PM
Spoons Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 14,900
Comedy:


Happy Gilmore
Golfer beats professional, gets girl.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Crazy chase for a fortune.

Animal House
Fraternity hijinks outrage the college.


Next: Musicals
  #8  
Old 02-04-2014, 05:06 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Musicals

Singin' In The Rain
Lip sync saves true love.

Godspell
Jesus clowns around New York.

Paint Your Wagon
Two cowboys, one woman, music!

Next:

World War II

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-04-2014 at 05:07 PM.
  #9  
Old 02-04-2014, 05:53 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
A Bridge Too Far
Epic screwup by Allied brass.

Inglorious Basterds
Far from history, but fun.

The Eagle Has Landed
Bagging Churchill not that easy.

Next:

American Civil War
  #10  
Old 02-04-2014, 06:50 PM
Spoons Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 14,900
American Civil War:

Gone with the Wind:
Atlanta burns, flames Scarlett red.

Lincoln:
Thirteenth Amendment, from House to theatre.

The Hunley:
Makeshift submarine's crew tries, dies.

Next: Tom Cruise films.
  #11  
Old 02-04-2014, 06:56 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Taps
Misled cadets can't save school

Top Gun
Navy pilots kick ass, man!

Born on the Fourth of July
Vietnam no fun for grunts

Next: Ahnuld films
  #12  
Old 02-04-2014, 07:10 PM
longhair75 longhair75 is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: omaha, ne
Posts: 2,979
Conan the Barbarian:
"the lamentation of the women"

Kindergarden Cop:
kindergardeners get the upper hand

True Lies
Arnold Swarzenegger dances the Tango!

Next: Courtroom drama
  #13  
Old 02-04-2014, 07:10 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
nm

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-04-2014 at 07:10 PM.
  #14  
Old 02-04-2014, 08:31 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
A Few Good Men
We CAN handle the truth!

The Verdict
Ambulance chaser reaches for redemption.

Philadelphia
AIDS ennobles young gay lawyer.

Next: Cowboy movies.
  #15  
Old 02-04-2014, 08:37 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 78,561
nm

Last edited by Little Nemo; 02-04-2014 at 08:38 PM.
  #16  
Old 02-04-2014, 09:12 PM
Miller's Avatar
Miller Miller is offline
Sith Mod
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bear Flag Republic
Posts: 43,223
Cowboy movies:

Silverado:
Remember when Costner was good?

Unforgiven:
Ends in metatextual shoot out.

The Magnificent Seven:
It was better with samurais.

Next:
Vampire movies
  #17  
Old 02-04-2014, 09:18 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Twilight
Sparkly vampires? Gimme a break.

The Lost Boys
A rather different youth gang.

Dracula
Langella is young, sexy, scary.

Next: Jimmy Stewart movies.
  #18  
Old 02-04-2014, 09:23 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Jimmy Stewart movies.

Harvey
Nice guy and his pooka.

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
Well, it wasn't Jimmy Stewart.

Vertigo
Kim makes his head spin.


Next:

Mel Brooks films
  #19  
Old 02-04-2014, 09:52 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
The Producers
Hitler conquers Broadway - no, really!

Blazing Saddles
Deliriously funny; definitely not P.C.

The History of the World, Part I
Swing and a (historical) miss.

Next: Movies with a color in the title.
  #20  
Old 02-04-2014, 10:06 PM
Just Ed Just Ed is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NJ, USA
Posts: 1,449
Colors:

The Green Mile: Sorrowful giant sacrifices; affects all

A Clockwork Orange: Milk bar, mayhem, redemption, relapse

Pitch Black: Alien creatures can't beat Diesel

Next: Stephen King adaptations
  #21  
Old 02-04-2014, 11:11 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
It
Pennywise scares; second half's dull.

The Running Man
Arnold Schwarzenegger kills Richard Dawson.

Pet Sematary
Let's go see Frankenweenie instead.


Next:
Chick Flicks

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-04-2014 at 11:12 PM.
  #22  
Old 02-04-2014, 11:18 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Wuthering Heights
Lots o' angst among Brits.

Titanic
Doomed romance on sinking ship.

Terms of Endearment
Mother, daughter deal with sorrows.

Next: Harrison Ford movies.
  #23  
Old 02-05-2014, 12:19 AM
Spoons Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 14,900
Harrison Ford movies:

Witness:
Amish Paradise without Weird Al.

Star Wars (the original):
Some call me Space Cowboy.

Raiders of the Lost Ark:
Adventuring archeologist, and melting Nazis.

Next: Best Picture Oscar Winners.
  #24  
Old 02-05-2014, 03:28 AM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 36,258
Crash
The cinematic James K. Polk...*

Forrest Gump
Manchild sees everyone, does everything.

The Godfather, Part 2
Top of the World, Pop.


*The "Dark Horse" president.

Next: Whodunits
  #25  
Old 02-05-2014, 08:08 AM
Spoons Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 14,900
Whodunits:

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Detective investigates death by piano.

Murder on the Orient Express:
So-called strangers on a train.

Murder by Death:
Detective parodies investigate runaway Twain.

Next: Sandra Bullock films.

Last edited by Spoons; 02-05-2014 at 08:10 AM.
  #26  
Old 02-05-2014, 08:26 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Sandra Bullock films.

Speed
Sandra falls for Keanu Reeves.

The Proposal
Sandra falls for Ryan Reynolds.

Gravity
Sandra just falls and falls...

Next:
Hitchcock films.
  #27  
Old 02-05-2014, 09:22 AM
astorian astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
Psycho
Innkeeper is a homicidal maniac.

The Trouble WIth Harry
Dead guy keeps popping up

Rear Window
Voyeur thinks he's uncovered murder.

The Birds
Feathered friends on killing spree!

Frenzy
Englishman strangles chicks with necktie.


New topic: Mockumentaries
  #28  
Old 02-05-2014, 10:13 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Just three movies, please, astorian. See Rule 1.

Mockumentaries:

This is Spinal Tap
Loudest band has ups, downs.

Best in Show
Dog lovers are weird, no?

A Mighty Wind
So earnest, but so clueless.

Next: Movies with a number in the title.
  #29  
Old 02-05-2014, 10:47 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 9,781
Movies with a number in the title.

Zero Hour
Unfunny predecessor to hilarious Airplane.

One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
Troublemaking criminal gets a lobotomy

2 Fast 2 Furious
Cars driving fast, furious, again

Three Kings
Bumbling soldiers attempt gold heist

Next: "Grindhouse" movies.
  #30  
Old 02-05-2014, 11:13 AM
Spoons Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 14,900
"Grindhouse" movies:

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Crime, fast cars, faster women.

Death Race 2000:
Cannonball Run, with real cannons.

Walking Tall:
Baseball bat takes on corruption.

Next: Animated feature films.
  #31  
Old 02-05-2014, 11:17 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Animated feature films

Fantasia
Dinosaurs, Cernobog, Faeries, Mickey Mouse

Up!
You'll cry in 15 minutes.

Allegro non Troppo
Disney was never like this.


Next:
Oscar-winners

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-05-2014 at 11:18 AM.
  #32  
Old 02-05-2014, 11:41 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Gone with the Wind
Enduring Lost Cause propaganda flick.

Braveheart
Don't fuck with the Scots.

Casablanca
Bogie rules; wasn't Ingrid lovely?

Next: One-word-title movies.
  #33  
Old 02-05-2014, 11:45 AM
Miller's Avatar
Miller Miller is offline
Sith Mod
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bear Flag Republic
Posts: 43,223
Oscar Winners:

How Green Was my Valley
Should have been Citizen Kane

Rocky:
Should have been Taxi Driver

Crash:
Should have been Brokeback Mountain

Next: Vietnam movies.
  #34  
Old 02-05-2014, 11:52 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
My post was four minutes before yours, Miller. Make sure you're doing the latest "Next" category.

Vietnam movies:

Platoon
Charlie Sheen, an innocent? Really?!?

Forrest Gump
Heroism can sometimes surprise you.

Apocalypse Now
Never get off the boat.

Next: One-word-title movies.
  #35  
Old 02-05-2014, 12:04 PM
RickJay RickJay is offline
Charter Jays Fan
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Oakville, Canada
Posts: 39,988
Philadelphia

Gay lawyer gets legal vengeance.

Traffic

People deal with drug issues.

Gravity

Shit gets real in space.

Next: Coen Brothers films
  #36  
Old 02-05-2014, 12:46 PM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 36,258
Raising Arizona
Intertile trailer couple needs kid.

O Brother Where Art Thou?
Musical Odyssey through Depression Mississippi.

Fargo
Snow, greed, and woodchippers, Ja?


Next: Maureen O'Hara films

Last edited by Sampiro; 02-05-2014 at 12:47 PM.
  #37  
Old 02-05-2014, 01:11 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Maureen O'Hara Films

Miracle on 34th Street
It's silly, but I believe!

The Quiet Man
Naughty bits are in Irish.

The Parent Trap
Why I had tubes tied.


Next:
Kaiju monsters!!!!
  #38  
Old 02-05-2014, 01:16 PM
astorian astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
Godzilla
Hydrogen bomb awoke sleeping tyrannosaurus.

Rodan
Giant pterodactyl blows Tokyo down.

Mothra
Tiny chicks' pet caterpillar attacks!



Next: Woody Allen films
  #39  
Old 02-05-2014, 01:34 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Sleeper
Immortalized "That's a big chicken."

Take the Money and Run
Very, very, very incompetent criminal.

Annie Hall
Diane Keaton at her best.

Next: George Lucas films.
  #40  
Old 02-05-2014, 01:44 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
George Lucas films

THX-1138
White sets are very dystopian.

Willow
Audiences couldn't accept midget hero.

American Graffiti
Introducing Richard Dreyfuss, Harrison Ford.

Next:
Blackspoitation films

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-05-2014 at 01:44 PM.
  #41  
Old 02-05-2014, 02:31 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
Shaft
Still has cool theme song.

Blacula
Bitten African prince still "lives."

I'm Gonna Get You Sucka
Spoof of a weird genre.

Next: Movies about ships.
  #42  
Old 02-05-2014, 03:58 PM
Spoons Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 14,900
Movies about ships:

The Poseidon Adventure:
Luxury liner capsizes, few survive.

A Night to Remember:
Titanic without Rose and Jack.

The Perfect Storm:
Atlantic weather can be cruel.

Next: Movies about college.
  #43  
Old 02-05-2014, 04:08 PM
YogSothoth YogSothoth is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,000
Movies about ships


The Poseidon Adventure
Cruise ship goes belly up

Speed 2
Relatively fast ship eases landward

Titanic
Heroic iceberg ends shitty romance


Next: Horror movies

Bah, too late! >_<

Last edited by YogSothoth; 02-05-2014 at 04:08 PM.
  #44  
Old 02-05-2014, 04:12 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 9,781
Movies about college.

Animal House
Classic movie about slob frat

Accepted
Slacker builds his own college

Back to School
Old quipster wins diving match

Next: Christmas movies
  #45  
Old 02-05-2014, 04:28 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Christmas movies

Jingle All The Way
Ah-nuld goes shopping for dolls.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Director Opie misses the point.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Griswald's brother-in-law kidnaps his boss.


Next:
Movies made last year.
  #46  
Old 02-05-2014, 04:29 PM
oft wears hats oft wears hats is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AUS
Posts: 1,975
Christmas movies

The Santa Clause
Like Highlander, but with Santa

Die Hard
Yippie ki yay, mother fucker

It's a Wonderful Life
Man discovers his true worth

ETA: Forgot to give a new theme, but I'll leave it off since I was ninja'd anyway.

Last edited by oft wears hats; 02-05-2014 at 04:30 PM.
  #47  
Old 02-05-2014, 05:16 PM
astorian astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
Movies made last year.

American Hustle
Phony Arabs bribe Jersey politicians.


The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Daydreamer Travels World Seeking Photo

Her
Nerd's smitten with cell phone.

New topic:

Superhero flicks

Last edited by astorian; 02-05-2014 at 05:17 PM.
  #48  
Old 02-05-2014, 05:49 PM
RickJay RickJay is offline
Charter Jays Fan
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Oakville, Canada
Posts: 39,988
Superman

Godlike alien becomes Earth hero

Batman

Rich guy secretly fights crime

X-Men

Mutants are disliked, but persevere.


New topic:

Baseball movies

Last edited by RickJay; 02-05-2014 at 05:49 PM.
  #49  
Old 02-05-2014, 07:16 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 78,307
A League of Their Own
Women ballplayers persevere during WWII.

Major League
Could the Indians really win?

The Kid from Cleveland
Delinquent finds extended baseball family.

Remember Rule 3. We never did the new category from post 43.

Next: Horror movies.
  #50  
Old 02-05-2014, 07:39 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 53,400
Horror Movies

Nightmare on Elm Street
Freddy kills some screaming teenagers.

Halloween
Michael kills some screaming teenagers.

Friday the 13th
Jason kills some screaming teenagers.


Next:
High Fantasy
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:12 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017