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  #251  
Old 05-09-2018, 11:25 AM
boson boson is offline
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I think you could learn something from the 'silence' part.

Time to do a little weeding.
  #252  
Old 05-09-2018, 11:53 AM
Uncommon Sense Uncommon Sense is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boson View Post
Time to do a little weeding.
Ummmm.....then what he hell are the Bumbled Bees going to gather nectar from? Most weeds produce flowers, in case you haven't noticed! This is the type of action that could literally KILL the planet.

I think I'll get another cup of coffee from the break room, it's free after all....
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  #253  
Old 05-09-2018, 01:07 PM
Thin Ice Thin Ice is offline
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Of course it's free, for you, since you've never contributed so much as a penny to the coffee fund at the office. You probably have two or three donuts with each cup, too. Thief!

I should get out and mow my lawn now that spring is here.
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  #254  
Old 05-09-2018, 03:17 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is online now
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I should hope so. Your lawn is the neighborhood disgrace. It's so bad dogs refuse to crap in there.

I'm over the flu (finally!)
  #255  
Old 05-09-2018, 03:56 PM
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It’s INFLUENZA. I-N-F-L-U-E-N-Z-A. The butchering of the English language continues.

I’m feeling so gay that I didn’t get the flu this season.
  #256  
Old 05-09-2018, 04:09 PM
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Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is offline
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Hey, that's hate-speech. Cool it buster!



I had pizza for luncheon, my nice friend brought it out for us.
  #257  
Old 05-10-2018, 06:29 AM
Patx2 Patx2 is offline
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And by nice friend, do you mean you have some mean friends? Why donít you tell them how you really feel, Iím sure thatíll go over well.

Weíre having leftovers for dinner tonight.
  #258  
Old 05-10-2018, 08:43 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is online now
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Can't you figure out much to cook so you don't have leftovers? It's not brain surgery on a rocket ship.

I made it through the week without dipping into my savnigs account.
  #259  
Old 05-10-2018, 08:51 AM
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I made it through the week without dipping into my savnigs account.
"nigs"? Is that the phrase currently favored by the alt right? If you got something to say, just come out and say it!

My son would not pose for a good picture because he was afraid of the Easter Bunny at the mall.
  #260  
Old 05-10-2018, 10:05 AM
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My youngest son was eaten by a rabbit. I understand his concern.

I'm helping a friend move today.
  #261  
Old 05-10-2018, 12:11 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Don't you know this town needs every possible person in it for the Census in two years? Thanks for helping lose us some Federal funding and maybe a member of Congress.

I voted in a primary election on Tuesday.
  #262  
Old 05-10-2018, 01:10 PM
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That's just wonderful! Did you even look into your choice? Or like the rest of the sheeple you just pushed any lever?


Both of my cats are purring. It sounds like a kitty-cat duet!

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 05-10-2018 at 01:11 PM.
  #263  
Old 05-10-2018, 01:40 PM
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I guess you didn't notice the feral cat just outside on your windowsill, looking in wistfully and feeling awful and lonely and excluded. Nice.

Somebody ripped off my credit card number and now I have to get a new one.
  #264  
Old 05-10-2018, 07:26 PM
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Thatíll teach you to be so damn careless with your credit cards.

I just found out here on the dope that a show I really like is being cancelled.
  #265  
Old 05-10-2018, 08:20 PM
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Do something productive. Instead loafing around looking at the idiot box, you could go to the gym. God knows you need to!


Got a good report from my dentist.
  #266  
Old 05-10-2018, 11:45 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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I told that to my grandmother, who wept openly as she thought of the only three rotten teeth that remain in her head.

I'm listening to Bach violin concertos. Wonderful!
  #267  
Old 05-11-2018, 12:21 AM
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Not so keen on being supportive of modern day composers, are you? Contemporary composers are making a living washing dishes while you relish in the past.

Iím going to serve pancakes, bacon, and orange juice on Motherís Day morning.
  #268  
Old 05-11-2018, 01:54 PM
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Carbs, fat, sodium and sugar. Just the thing to hustle dear ol' Mom into an early grave. Nice going.

I just picked out a really nice card for my Mom.
  #269  
Old 05-11-2018, 08:54 PM
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Your mom will probably be thrilled you actually gave her a thought this year.

Itís very pleasant in here with the sliding door cracked open.
  #270  
Old 05-12-2018, 12:09 AM
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Why the heck did you break the glass? Drunk again, I suppose?


I am watching a great movie.
  #271  
Old 05-12-2018, 12:09 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Do you care for nothing but your own entertainment, you selfish, hedonistic bastard?

I think I'll go to the post office later today.

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 05-12-2018 at 12:10 AM.
  #272  
Old 05-12-2018, 12:27 AM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is offline
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Do you even read the thread before posting in it? The post office schtick has been taken already (post #247). But you're so self-centered you just assumed you were the first person to think of it.

Tomorrow I am taking my e-waste to the recycling center.
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  #273  
Old 05-12-2018, 01:25 AM
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Oh how millennial of you. Act your age not your IQ.



I am planning a picnic for Mom's day.
  #274  
Old 05-12-2018, 01:41 AM
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Will someone call the elder protection services? Someone will have to take her to the hospital to remove ants from places she forgot she had. She’s going to remember this for a long long time. You can forget about her will.

I sure do enjoy this thread.
  #275  
Old 05-12-2018, 07:05 AM
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It doesn't say much for your character that you like to read mean and nasty things said about other people.

I have to go to the eye doctor Wednesday and I'm not looking forward to it.
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  #276  
Old 05-12-2018, 09:27 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is online now
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If you're going to the eye doctor, how can you be looking forward, backward or sideways? And stop it with the straight lines!

Big Bang and young Sheldon both have at least one more season to go. Nerdvana!
  #277  
Old 05-12-2018, 09:35 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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You're watching TV when you could be helping the starving children of Africa? Shame on you. Shame!

Some people say I'm shameless.
  #278  
Old 05-12-2018, 11:42 PM
boson boson is offline
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Well then maybe you could do us all a favor and close your account on this site. Ask Cecil about your kind of person.

I like to drink beer. I'll have a couple.
  #279  
Old 05-12-2018, 11:49 PM
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On another binge I see. Just great.



Went to a nice restuarant tonight.
  #280  
Old 05-13-2018, 10:34 AM
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Why, because you were too lazy to put a nice, home cooked meal on the table for your family? Try making an effort next time.

I enjoyed a doughnut yesterday.
  #281  
Old 05-13-2018, 04:44 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Way to reinforce the oppressive, racist, deep-friend dough patriarchy, Patx2. If that is your real name.

I have a really good stapler.

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 05-13-2018 at 04:44 PM.
  #282  
Old 05-13-2018, 07:02 PM
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You donít get out much do you? Oh, and thanks for making me feel bad about my lowly stapler.

I had a nice low key Motherís Day.
  #283  
Old 05-13-2018, 10:11 PM
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You must be some kind of dull. I’ll bet your friends have lots of excuses when you call for gatherings.

I bought some incense with aromas of frankincense and myrrh.
  #284  
Old 05-13-2018, 10:34 PM
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What you got against sandalwood? You are so uppity!


I am gonna start a new quilt. I love to sew.
  #285  
Old 05-14-2018, 06:30 AM
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Iím guessing you arenít going to donate that new quilt to a homeless shelter, but keep it for yourself. Thatís just selfish.

One of the dogs has a well visit with the vet tonight.
  #286  
Old 05-14-2018, 07:10 AM
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Do you know how many millions of people on this planet don't have access to proper medical care...and here you are bragging about taking your DOG in for a routine checkup?! Only in the First World.

When I asked my Magic 8 Ball if I should have pizza for lunch it said "definitely"

Last edited by Cardigan; 05-14-2018 at 07:10 AM.
  #287  
Old 05-14-2018, 07:24 AM
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It actually left your body in disgust because its polluted with salt, cholesterol and various chemicals and preservatives. Yuck!

I made it to work this morning before the storms hit!
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  #288  
Old 05-14-2018, 11:57 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Without a moment's thought for all of your slightly-later fellow commuters placed at risk of life and limb by the storm, apparently. Nice.

I've been listening to The Buena Vista Social Club this morning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNYOVEXJBBM
  #289  
Old 05-15-2018, 06:54 PM
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I was working all morning and in fact, all afternoon. You may want to give it a try sometime.

We got a very heavy thunderstorm a couple hours ago.
  #290  
Old 05-15-2018, 07:36 PM
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Thats right don't share all that rain with the folks suffering drought. Greed is unbecoming.


I danced to a tune on the radio and my dogs joined in. We had fun!
  #291  
Old 05-17-2018, 08:26 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is online now
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And what other types of "fun" do you and your dogs have, you perv?

I got some great stuff at our local library book sale, and contributed to a fine cause.
  #292  
Old 05-17-2018, 10:37 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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You didn't say who ran the library, but I hear it's the KKK. Just doing your part to lay the groundwork for a race war, eh?

I just yawned.
  #293  
Old 05-17-2018, 10:55 AM
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So did I, like I always do when I read your posts.

I get to work from home today.
  #294  
Old 05-17-2018, 11:15 AM
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x-ray vision x-ray vision is offline
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I guess...if your idea of having a job is being a phone sex operator.

I just learned the coolest magic trick! Can't wait to show my niece and nephew!
  #295  
Old 05-17-2018, 11:04 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Isn't it time they understood that magic is just a somewhat-entertaining system of lies? Don't you love them? Don't they deserve to know the truth?

Guess I'll go to bed now.
  #296  
Old 05-17-2018, 11:37 PM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is offline
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And it's been how many weeks since you washed your sheets? That's disgusting.

I'm expecting a Skype call from a friend in about 15 minutes.
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  #297  
Old 05-18-2018, 12:01 AM
boson boson is offline
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Procrastinator, huh? What are you avoiding?

My daughter is going to see a psychic medium tomorrow.
  #298  
Old 05-18-2018, 12:36 AM
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Why did you abuse that child. You hit her on the head too many times.


I am gonna watch the royal wedding Saturday.
  #299  
Old 05-18-2018, 08:22 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is online now
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Big deal. Would you want to marry into that family?

I got a three day weekend off of work!
  #300  
Old 05-18-2018, 09:05 AM
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They scaled you back to part-time, did they? Plus, "off of" is a high school grammar mistake. No wonder they cut your hours.

Comedy Central is showing reruns of The Office and it's still funny.
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