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  #301  
Old 07-18-2018, 12:45 AM
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...I'm a little slow myself.

(sorry about the flub ľ mile up the page)

Maybe I’m naÔve but watching My Strange Addiction, I never knew that you could get addicted to…

Last edited by boson; 07-18-2018 at 12:48 AM.
  #302  
Old 07-18-2018, 12:55 AM
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Laser pointers and making cats turn flips.


I only play with cats because_____.
  #303  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:09 AM
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I only play with cats because_____.
Im a weird, lonely woman.

Who's down for good ole game of______.
  #304  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:17 AM
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The ole ultraviolence followed by the ole in and out?

The last time out with me fellow droogies was yarbles since...
  #305  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:27 AM
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The winter solstice.


I appreciate the summertime and long______.
  #306  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:47 AM
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The winter solstice.


I appreciate the summertime and long______.
..., slow roasted crown rack of spam.

Reporting spam is...
  #307  
Old 07-18-2018, 02:17 AM
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... likely to get me buried underneath a couple of pallets' worth of Hormel products.

But, you know, it's not bad; Spam goes well with ...
  #308  
Old 07-18-2018, 02:28 AM
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Granite countertops and tips from here.



I don't throw rocks in______.
  #309  
Old 07-18-2018, 06:56 AM
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...lifesize terrariums.

When Godzilla attacks, I always...
  #310  
Old 07-18-2018, 08:02 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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try to run against the crowd of terrified Tokyo residents, not with them.

Tokyo is OK, even when giant radioactively-mutated monsters attack, but I really prefer _______________
  #311  
Old 07-18-2018, 09:37 AM
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...New York City, where the Statue of Liberty got decapitated by Cloverfield.

NYC is also famous for...
  #312  
Old 07-18-2018, 11:05 AM
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an annoying adult elf, a giant ape swatting biplanes from atop the Empire State Building, and some clown in a costume swinging around and shooting webs everywhere.

I wish all those superheroes in New York City would just ____________________
  #313  
Old 07-18-2018, 12:44 PM
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...spread out across the country and give someplace else a chance.

Superman's greatest power is...
  #314  
Old 07-18-2018, 12:49 PM
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fitting in those tights of his.

It must be exhausting having superpowers because...
  #315  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:09 PM
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...with great power comes great power bills.

If Prof. Wertham were alive today, he would...
  #316  
Old 07-18-2018, 03:03 PM
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Sing a chorus at the bar for old-time sake.

I would leave if_________.
  #317  
Old 07-18-2018, 03:21 PM
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I would leave if_________.
I could just get a cab.


Anna Maria Alberghetti. . .
  #318  
Old 07-18-2018, 05:02 PM
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Is one "A" short of being an alliterative name.

Whenever i see a pitbull i think_____.
  #319  
Old 07-18-2018, 05:06 PM
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"awe, who wants to tear the face off a baby? Is it you? yes it is. You would tear so many faces off babies, yes you would!"

My chihuahua rips the brains out of...
  #320  
Old 07-18-2018, 05:31 PM
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... his doggie toys, but he runs in terror from any other animal.

Heck, sometimes, he even runs from ...
  #321  
Old 07-18-2018, 06:09 PM
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Heck, sometimes, he even runs from ...
... bugs. He barks at the mailman, though.


I don't care. . .
  #322  
Old 07-18-2018, 06:57 PM
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...if it rains or freezes.

As long as I got my....
  #323  
Old 07-18-2018, 06:57 PM
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Popsicles.


I am only alarmed________.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 07-18-2018 at 07:00 PM.
  #324  
Old 07-18-2018, 07:13 PM
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when I realize Iím sober and Iím committing lewd acts.

So, being drunk...
  #325  
Old 07-18-2018, 07:19 PM
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...is in my immediate future again.

"12 beers please" I said...
  #326  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:47 PM
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"12 beers please" I said...
...though I didn't say who they pleased.


Nor did I specify ______.
  #327  
Old 07-18-2018, 11:08 PM
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... the brand of beer.

I would hate if they gave me ...
  #328  
Old 07-18-2018, 11:18 PM
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Ginger beer.


I always wanted red hair, but______.
  #329  
Old 07-18-2018, 11:48 PM
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... the girl with it wouldn't date me.

So, instead, my date to the high school dance had ...
  #330  
Old 07-19-2018, 12:13 AM
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... a surprisingly strong left hook.

I still think of her when I ...
  #331  
Old 07-19-2018, 12:15 AM
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a peg leg and an eye patch.

After I had my fifth mug of grog....
  #332  
Old 07-19-2018, 12:32 AM
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a peg leg and an eye patch.

After I had my fifth mug of grog....
Oops, sorry. Missed it. Just ignore my schmuckery.
  #333  
Old 07-19-2018, 12:37 AM
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... a surprisingly strong left hook.

I still think of her when I ...
...play Mike tyson's punch out.

Much schmuckery happens....
  #334  
Old 07-19-2018, 01:27 AM
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When the neighborhood ladies start punching and gouging.


The kids seem to______.
  #335  
Old 07-19-2018, 01:58 AM
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Murder each other for pogs.

Are pogs....
  #336  
Old 07-19-2018, 11:51 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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those little annoying sea birds from the last Star Wars movie?

I'm sure they weren't stoats, but ________________
  #337  
Old 07-19-2018, 03:06 PM
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have you ever been to Orson Bean's Stoat World?

It's a family-friendly...
  #338  
Old 07-19-2018, 04:55 PM
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...tourist trap in Blawnox, Pennsylvania with several lawsuits pending against it.

The worst one involves...
  #339  
Old 07-19-2018, 06:23 PM
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... something that is illegal in 32 states, and six foreign countries.

But the pending lawsuits are likely to ...
  #340  
Old 07-19-2018, 06:51 PM
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be thrown out of court.

Once I was held in contempt of court because...
  #341  
Old 07-19-2018, 06:59 PM
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...I whipped it out and made a devil's face when my sentence was read.

I was in court because i had been arrested and charged with...
  #342  
Old 07-19-2018, 07:08 PM
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being so DAMN sexy!

The last time I went to a night club, I....
  #343  
Old 07-19-2018, 07:09 PM
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...impersonated an officer...and performed lewd acts.

If you would like to hear your options in English, press...

Last edited by snfaulkner; 07-19-2018 at 07:10 PM. Reason: ninja'd! Rejiggering
  #344  
Old 07-19-2018, 08:19 PM
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My skirt.

I am skirting the issue by_______.
  #345  
Old 07-19-2018, 08:32 PM
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I am skirting the issue by wearing hot pants.

My dog pants because ............
  #346  
Old 07-19-2018, 08:40 PM
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I'm wearing hot pants. We're weird that way.

Being weird can be interesting as long as you....
  #347  
Old 07-19-2018, 08:43 PM
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...don't get caught performing lewd acts.

Given the choices of door #1, door #2, and the mystery box...
  #348  
Old 07-19-2018, 09:04 PM
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... always choose Door Number 3, because if Monty didn't mention it, there's gotta be something good behind it.

Unless, of course, Monty didn't mention Door Number 3 because ...
  #349  
Old 07-19-2018, 09:58 PM
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It was a trip to no-wheresville. Close to where I live, by the way.


We could meet at the______.
  #350  
Old 07-19-2018, 10:14 PM
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...burned out meth lab. No, not the one you're thinking of. The other one.

Come to think of it, there are burned out meth labs....
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