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Old 01-02-2019, 06:01 AM
psychonaut psychonaut is offline
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Rewrite a sitcom using Star Trek characters

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: take an existing television sitcom and retool it so that all the main characters are from the Star Trek universe. Provide a punny new title and setting if you wish. List your character substitutions and/or provide a brief synopsis of your new and improved show.

Here's an example to get you started:

00000011's Company

After crashing a party and finding himself passed out in the sonic shower, the young Starfleet officer Tom Paris meets two young women in need of a roommate for their space station quarters. These are B'Elanna Torres, a no-nonsense half-Klingon engineering student, and Seven of Nine, a former Borg drone who has been liberated from the Collective and is trying to reintegrate herself into Federation society.

Paris wants to accept the pair's offer to move in, but they are thwarted by Mr. Odo, the station's old-fashioned, hard-nosed landlord. Mr. Odo has a paternalistic attitude towards the two girls and doesn't want any interspecies hanky-panky going on under his watch. His concerns are assuaged when the trio trick him into believing that Paris is actually a (not-so-fully functional) android.

The show's humour derives mostly from Paris having to keep up the pretence of being a non-living android (at least when Mr. Odo is around) and from Seven of Nine's obliviousness to human cultural norms, which results in countless comical misunderstandings and unintentional double-entendres.

Secondary characters include Quark, proprietor of the station's watering-hole, the Regulus Betelgeuse, and Jake Sisko, Tom's best friend and playboy neighbour.
  #2  
Old 01-02-2019, 11:11 AM
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I know it's not what you're looking for, but there may be a few who haven't seen this.
  #3  
Old 01-02-2019, 12:00 PM
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"Big Bang Theory" rewritten as a look into Starfleet Academy with particular attention paid to dorm life. Spock as the Sheldon character, of course.
  #4  
Old 01-02-2019, 12:17 PM
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I Love Kes/Here's Kes/The Kes Show/Life With Kes

Despite the multiple titles, the story is always the same. Wacky but lovable Kes just can't be content with her subordination to her irascible but loving husband/boss, The Doctor. Hijinks ensue as Kes bumbles through situations where her psionic powers get away from her and she accidentally destroys her friends and rips holes in the very fabric of the space-time continuum
  #5  
Old 01-02-2019, 12:39 PM
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You could probably recreate a lot of Cheers episodes in Quark's bar, using ST characters. (Morn is already an homage to Norm Peterson.) But I haven't put a lot of thought into it.
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Old 01-02-2019, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Son of a Rich View Post
I know it's not what you're looking for, but there may be a few who haven't seen this.
How about this promo from MeTV, from when they used to run Star Trek?

(MeTV did a few of these remixes in promoting shows they ran. Here's another Trek one that takes advantage of the fact that "City on the Edge of Forever" actually did use the Mayberry set to stand in for New York.)
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  #7  
Old 01-02-2019, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Son of a Rich View Post
I know it's not what you're looking for, but there may be a few who haven't seen this.
Love Badger
  #8  
Old 01-02-2019, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Hermione View Post
How about this promo from MeTV, from when they used to run Star Trek?

(MeTV did a few of these remixes in promoting shows they ran. Here's another Trek one that takes advantage of the fact that "City on the Edge of Forever" actually did use the Mayberry set to stand in for New York.)
City on the Edge of Forever.

Here are Kirk and Edith strolling past Floyd's Barber Shop.
  #9  
Old 01-02-2019, 04:48 PM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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Hogan's Heroes, The Next Generation

During the Dominion War, a team is sent to operate out of a Cardassian prisoner of war camp, to gather intel and conduct sabotage.

Riker is the leader (Hogan).
His team consists of:
General handyman and reliable soldier with wacky hi jinks Miles O'Brien (Carter)
Talented second in command who gets overlooked by the enemy too much, Tasha Yar (Kinch)*
Scammer, scrounger, and good imitator of Cardassians, Tom Paris (Newkirk)
One of the first prisoners at the camp, taken early in the war, a survivor and nationalist for her home land, Ro Laren (Lebeau)

The inept Kardassian Kommandant is played by Andrew Robinson as a more incompetent version of Garak

Gul Dukat is the Burkhalter analog

Every so often a Romulan agent shows up to cause trouble for Riker and his crew, and you never know what side she is really on, Sela (Marya, the "white Russian")

And finally, there is highly dangerous but easily defeated agent of the Dominion, Weyoun (Hochstetter)


*replaced in a later season by near-analog Worf with no explanation (Baker)

Last edited by Just Asking Questions; 01-02-2019 at 04:52 PM.
  #10  
Old 01-02-2019, 05:21 PM
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M*A*S*H
Mobile Advanced Starfleet Hospital

During a Klingon/Starfleet war, the show follows the hilarity that ensues in a front line hospital ship USS Pasteur.

The staff includes:
Lead surgeon and self-described ladies man Bashir (Hawkeye)
His best friend and partner in "crime", "Doc" O'Brien (Trapper)
Stuffed shirt doctor who is technically above Bashir in rank but not in skill, the EMH (Frank)
Specialist who is in early episodes but gets quietly dropped with no explanation, Vulcan expert M'Benga (Ugly John and or "Spearchucker")
Interchangeable nurse who is always in the background, Alyssa Ogawa (nurse Able/ Baker/whatever)
Put-upon commander who has to deal with the non-military behavior of his staff because they are good at their jobs, Captain Dr. Leonard McCoy (Blake)
And the slightly-unlikable young acting ensign who actually runs things behind the scenes, Wes (Radar)
Wacky orderly who wants to get out of the military, Tom Paris (Klinger)
Cold, by the book doctor who doesn't put up with wacky hi jinks but secretly is having an affair with the EMH, 7of9 (Hot lips)
Old school military doctor who replaces McCoy and tries to reign in the wacky hi jinks, Captain Dr. Beverly Crusher (Potter)
Competent doctor who comes in with arrogance but skills to match, Dr. Pulaski (Winchester)
Temporal Agent who shows up from time to time to cause trouble, Agent Dulmor (Flagg)
  #11  
Old 01-02-2019, 05:27 PM
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Obligatory Star Trek meets Monty Python:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luVj...TEIoJc&index=1

Last edited by GIGObuster; 01-02-2019 at 05:28 PM.
  #12  
Old 01-04-2019, 09:28 AM
Stranger On A Train Stranger On A Train is offline
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Sisko: The crew of Deep Space Nine (Cmdr. Sisko, Maj. Kira, Dr. Bashir, LtCmdr Dax, Chief O’Brien) engage in discussions and hijinks about “nothing”, often while sitting at Quark’s bar or hanging out in Sisko’s quarters, and Bashir writes a holodeck program that is a barely fictionalized version of their experiences. “You know what I hate about the Gamma Quadrant? It’s just full of people who don’t understand how to dock their ship properly! You just float past the portal and the warp in. You don’t try to just head directly in because then you have the wrong appproach angle and everything gets discombobulated. That’s what I’m saying.”

Star Trek: Arrested Development: The crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise-D are trying to figure out a way out of their predicament after it turns out that Picard has been negotiating settlements in the Neutral Zone just to line his own pockets wih gold-pressed latinum by building habitats for the Romulans. Beverly Crusher and her young, clueless son Wesley try to extricate themselves from the morass but just can’t seem to escape regardless of how many times they zip off in a shuttlecraft to Rigel 6 while Wes secretly crushes on Troi, who may or may not be his demi-cousin. LtCmdr Data loses his hand and screams, “I’m a MONSTER!” when LaForge replaces it with a minature tractor beam emitter.

Other large cast shows are pretty obvious, i.e Friends, M.A.S.H., Hogan’s Heroes, et cetera.

Stranger

Last edited by Stranger On A Train; 01-04-2019 at 09:29 AM.
  #13  
Old 01-04-2019, 09:44 AM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train View Post

Other large cast shows are pretty obvious, i.e Friends, M.A.S.H., Hogan’s Heroes, et cetera.

Stranger
Obvious? OBVIOUS?

Don't slam other's ideas, mr two shows about nothing. I put more detail into mine than you did.
  #14  
Old 01-06-2019, 08:50 AM
psychonaut psychonaut is offline
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Thank to everyone so far for their great contributions!

What do y'all think about this one?

Phaser

After his creator, Lewis Zimmerman, dies, Voyager's Emergency Medical Hologram moves into a high-rise apartment in Zimmerman's hometown of Seattle. He starts up a successful call-in holoprogram where he dispenses psychiatric advice. The show becomes widely known for its opening salutation, "Good morning, Seattle. Please state the nature of the medical emergency." Issues reported by his callers include holo-addiction, transporter phobia, and PTSD induced by being abducted by an alien civilization and implanted with a lifetime of false memories. (The last of these seems to be a particularly common occupational hazard for Starfleet officers and crew.)

Welcoming the Emergency Medical Hologram to Seattle is a slightly newer model, the Emergency Medical Hologram Mark I Revision 2, who maintains a successful medical practice there. Aside from being a bit hairier and prissier, the two EMHs look and act very much alike, with refined and eclectic tastes in music, theatre, and Klingon opera. The two become inseparable friends and occasional social rivals as they attempt to insinuate themselves into Seattle's cultural elite.

The EMH's plans for a bachelor life are challenged when he is obliged to take in Zimmerman's widow, Ishka, an elderly Ferengi. Ishka's greed for gold-pressed latinum and other material possessions is at odds with the post-capitalist sensibilities of Federation high society. Her blatant avarice, her gaudy tastes, and her Ferengi habit of traipsing naked around the apartment, are perpetual sources of embarassment to the EMH, particularly when he brings home home guests and dates.

Ishka is joined by her live-in oo-mox therapist, Seven of Nine, a former Borg drone who insists that her cybernetic implants allow her to sense things that others cannot. The EMH Mark I Revision 2 soon becomes obsessed with Seven, despite him being in a long-term homosexual relationship with a mysterious alien named Morn. Morn is often talked about but never seen on camera (or heard, for that matter) except once, in a mirror-universe episode set in 24th-century Boston.
  #15  
Old 01-06-2019, 10:41 AM
JB99 JB99 is offline
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Nm

Last edited by JB99; 01-06-2019 at 10:44 AM.
  #16  
Old 01-06-2019, 10:48 AM
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Academy.

The Enterprise crew are busted down because of their interfering with Federation rules all over the place. So they have to go "back to school" and start over at Starfleet Academy.

They meet regularly in a study room.

There's Kirk, the smug jerk who's just trying to coast thru.
Urhura as the timid mother figure.
Scotty and Bones as the nerdy pair.
Nurse Chapel and (former) Yeoman Rand alternate as love interests with Kirk.
Spock as the no-fun guy who ruins all the other people's pranks.

Each season ends with a disastrous game of phaser paintball.

#SixSeasonsAndAMovie
  #17  
Old 01-06-2019, 11:21 AM
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Quark’s

William Riker retires from a career as an adventurous space captain and purchases Quark’s bar. He intends to turn it into a classy jazz club, but gets stymied when the old owner sticks around and insists on ‘showing him how it’s done.’ He is joined by a lovable cast of patrons, including Montgomery Scott, Morn (“MORN!”) and the exasperating Lwaxana Troi.

While on Deep Space Nine, Ezri Dax becomes infatuated with Riker. When he doesn’t satisfy her expanded Trill intellect, she activates the Emergency Medical Hologram just to prove that even a synthetic intelligence is a better boyfriend than Riker. The will-they-or-won’t-they plot thread becomes a definite ‘won’t’ when Dax leaves the show. She is inexplicably replaced by Lieutenant Saavik, whose love-hate relationship with Riker dominates the remainder of the show’s run.

The Emergency Medical Hologram goes on to star in the critically acclaimed and long-running Phaser.
  #18  
Old 01-06-2019, 11:28 AM
JB99 JB99 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train
Star Trek: Arrested Development
“My nanite colony is completely secure,” Wesley said.
Captain’s Log: It wasn’t.
“There’s no way they could escape,” he continued.
Captain’s Log: They did.

Last edited by JB99; 01-06-2019 at 11:29 AM.
  #19  
Old 01-06-2019, 12:17 PM
psychonaut psychonaut is offline
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Originally Posted by JB99 View Post
Nm
Aw… I thought what you posted was quite good, and a different enough take than mine that it was worth keeping for posterity.
  #20  
Old 01-06-2019, 01:46 PM
Andy L Andy L is offline
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Morn "works" at the DS 9 dilithium power plant, but the real center of his life is spent on the barstool at Quark's with his more competent co-workers Bashir and O'Brien. One reason he spends so much time at the bar - he hates his sisters-in-law Lursa and Be'tor, who are always trying to get his wife (their sister) K'Ehleyr to get back together with her much more successful ex-boyfriend Artie Worf. The kids, especially "The Boy" (Wesley) add to the martial tendency but you can always get a laugh when Morn chokes him.
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Old 01-06-2019, 01:48 PM
Andy L Andy L is offline
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Originally Posted by ftg View Post
Academy.

The Enterprise crew are busted down because of their interfering with Federation rules all over the place. So they have to go "back to school" and start over at Starfleet Academy.

They meet regularly in a study room.

There's Kirk, the smug jerk who's just trying to coast thru.
Urhura as the timid mother figure.
Scotty and Bones as the nerdy pair.
Nurse Chapel and (former) Yeoman Rand alternate as love interests with Kirk.
Spock as the no-fun guy who ruins all the other people's pranks.

Each season ends with a disastrous game of phaser paintball.

#SixSeasonsAndAMovie
Bones and Scotty in the morning!
  #22  
Old 01-06-2019, 02:03 PM
Andy L Andy L is offline
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Originally Posted by JB99 View Post
“My nanite colony is completely secure,” Wesley said.
Captain’s Log: It wasn’t.
“There’s no way they could escape,” he continued.
Captain’s Log: They did.
With "William Thomas Riker" and "Thomas William Riker" as twin brothers - one who may have committed a little light treason.
  #23  
Old 01-06-2019, 02:19 PM
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With "William Thomas Riker" and "Thomas William Riker" as twin brothers - one who may have committed a little light treason.
That’s fantastic.
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:51 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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"Green Quadrant is the place to be..."

Kirk wants to live on a real farm with actual horses to ride. His love interest of the week prefers a holodeck version of this.
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:58 PM
psychonaut psychonaut is offline
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Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train View Post
Star Trek: Arrested Development: … LtCmdr Data loses his hand
Ah, yes—that would be the episode where he was down in engineering working on the warp drive, unaware that Geordi was running an experiment that necessitated a loosening of the warp core containment seal. A crewman tried to warn him of the danger, but it was too late.
  #26  
Old 01-06-2019, 03:57 PM
Andy L Andy L is offline
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That’s fantastic.
Thanks.
  #27  
Old 01-06-2019, 04:22 PM
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During their downtime between missions, the crew of the Enterprise-D enjoy hanging out in a holodeck simulation of the Sunshine Cab Company in 1980's New York City. Captain Picard takes on the persona of a middle-aged divorcee. Dr. Crusher works part time in an art gallery. Riker is an aspiring actor. Worf is a boxer. Geordie adopts an unidentifiable accent and is the mechanic. Data is a former hippie burned out from too many drugs.

The dispatcher is a holographically-generated Danny DeVito.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JB99 View Post
The will-they-or-won’t-they plot thread becomes a definite ‘won’t’ when Dax leaves the show. She is inexplicably replaced by Lieutenant Saavik, ...
Ooh, clever.
  #28  
Old 01-06-2019, 04:33 PM
JB99 JB99 is offline
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Shirts

It’s Christine Chapel’s first day out of medical school. She arrives on the Enterprise to find dozens of expendable ensigns with injuries ranging from the gruesome to the hilarious. How do you keep two hundred redshirts alive when you don’t know the difference between a neural monitor and a K3 indicator?

Chapel gets some help from her abrasive mentor, Doctor ‘Bones’ McCoy. But she often finds herself at odds with Doctor Boyce, who cares more about bureaucracy than saving redshirts. The cast also includes the ship’s receptionist, Uhura; fellow medical graduate Doctor Korby; and the mysterious Engineer, who maintains the ship while antagonizing Chapel with cruel pranks.
  #29  
Old 01-06-2019, 04:40 PM
Andy L Andy L is offline
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Originally Posted by Dendarii Dame View Post
"Green Quadrant is the place to be..."

Kirk wants to live on a real farm with actual horses to ride. His love interest of the week prefers a holodeck version of this.
How about Pike and Vina for this - Pike wants the real world, but Vina insists on simulated reality run by the Talosians.
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Old 01-06-2019, 05:14 PM
JB99 JB99 is offline
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Wasn’t René Auberjonois actually on an episode of Frazier?
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Old 01-06-2019, 05:17 PM
Andy L Andy L is offline
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Wasn’t René Auberjonois actually on an episode of Frazier?
Yes. Auberjonois played Frasier's mentor in one of my favorite episodes (the mentor helps Frasier face up to the fact that he's not really happy with his own life).
  #32  
Old 01-06-2019, 05:19 PM
blondebear blondebear is offline
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The Odd Couple with Bones and Spock.
  #33  
Old 01-06-2019, 06:12 PM
psychonaut psychonaut is offline
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Wasn’t René Auberjonois actually on an episode of Frazier?
Yes, and Kelsey Grammer was in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation ("Cause and Effect").

Actually, Frasier and the various Star Trek shows share a lot of other prominent actors. Some of many examples:
  • Patrick Stewart, who played Picard on TNG, guested as the director of the Seattle Opera on Frasier.
  • Saul Rubinek, who had a recurring role as Daphne's boyfriend, had a memorable guest spot on TNG as an alien merchant who abducts Data for his collection of curiosities.
  • Bebe Neuwirth, who played Frasier's ex-wife, Dr. Lilith Sternin Crane, was a guest star on TNG as an alien nurse who tries to seduce Commander Riker.
  • Brent Spiner, appeared in an episode of Frasier where Lilith remarked upon his character's unusually pale complexion, a nod to his role as Data on TNG.
  • Robert Picardo, the Doctor on Voyager, guest starred as a security specialist on Frasier.
  • Nana Visitor, who played Kira Nerys on DS9, played a dinner guest on an episode of Frasier.
  • Dan Butler, who played the testosterone-charged Bulldog Briscoe on Frasier, once played Tom Paris(!) on Voyager, in an episode involving a DNA-swapping alien.
  #34  
Old 01-06-2019, 06:54 PM
Andy L Andy L is offline
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Yes, and Kelsey Grammer was in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation ("Cause and Effect").

Actually, Frasier and the various Star Trek shows share a lot of other prominent actors. Some of many examples:
  • Patrick Stewart, who played Picard on TNG, guested as the director of the Seattle Opera on Frasier.
  • Saul Rubinek, who had a recurring role as Daphne's boyfriend, had a memorable guest spot on TNG as an alien merchant who abducts Data for his collection of curiosities.
  • Bebe Neuwirth, who played Frasier's ex-wife, Dr. Lilith Sternin Crane, was a guest star on TNG as an alien nurse who tries to seduce Commander Riker.
  • Brent Spiner, appeared in an episode of Frasier where Lilith remarked upon his character's unusually pale complexion, a nod to his role as Data on TNG.
  • Robert Picardo, the Doctor on Voyager, guest starred as a security specialist on Frasier.
  • Nana Visitor, who played Kira Nerys on DS9, played a dinner guest on an episode of Frasier.
  • Dan Butler, who played the testosterone-charged Bulldog Briscoe on Frasier, once played Tom Paris(!) on Voyager, in an episode involving a DNA-swapping alien.
And then there's this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2hs0oZ6JuQ
  #35  
Old 01-07-2019, 01:07 PM
LoneRhino LoneRhino is offline
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The Odd Couple with Bones and Spock.
With Odo as Murray. For some reason he has a really big nose in human form.
  #36  
Old 01-07-2019, 06:18 PM
Johnny Q Johnny Q is offline
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The episode where Spock goes into Pon Farr and starts macking on Bones's girlfriend is a classic.

"If I do not mate with her I will Perish."
"If you do, I'll kill you myself!"

Last edited by Johnny Q; 01-07-2019 at 06:20 PM.
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Old 01-07-2019, 07:26 PM
Marine_One Marine_One is offline
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And now, the premier episode of “The Redshirt Family”!


They’re the funniest family in the Federation!
And they’re causing a laugh sensation!
Gather ‘round for a sight to see!
Look everybody! It’s The Redshirt Family!



(The Redshirt Family is recorded in front of a live studio audience.)

“Hi honey! Hi kids! Daddy’s home!”

“OH MY GOD!!! RUN!! IT’S A FLAMING ASTEROID!!”

KA-BOOOOM!!! WHOOOMMPPP!!!

“WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!!”

(silence)
  #38  
Old 01-07-2019, 08:44 PM
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USS SHLOTZ

Zany Captain LaVerne DeFazio and her scatterbrained First Officer Shirley Feeny of the Milwaukee Federation's finest starship flit around the Galaxy, getting in and out of whacky situations every week. Chief Medical Officer Leonard "Lenny" Kosnowski and Chief Engineer Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman emerge from the turbo lift at the most unexpected moments to add their own brand of hilarity. Yeoman Carmine Ragusa tap-dances as the First Officer's on again/off again love interest. Crazy neighbors and relatives beam aboard to make regular guest appearances as comedy hijinx abound.
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If a man says something but no woman is around to hear it, is he still stupid?

Last edited by terentii; 01-07-2019 at 08:45 PM.
  #39  
Old 01-07-2019, 09:27 PM
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Through some weird cancoctation of Federation Jurisprudence, the crew of the Enterprise have to hold a court and try some civilians. Picard is the judge, Troi is the defense counsel, Worf is the prosecutor. Riker is the clerk.

The defendants are
SPOILER:
Bob and June Wheeler whom Troi says merely ran into some bad luck.
  #40  
Old 01-07-2019, 11:43 PM
Doug K. Doug K. is offline
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"It was stardate 85234.something, and it. Was. Awesome."
  #41  
Old 01-08-2019, 06:24 AM
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Yes, Captain (Take 1)

Captain Kirk was the most inept officer in Star Fleet, yet he kept rising. Someone had to keep him out of trouble...

Kirk as the incompetent Captain (Minister Jim Hacker )
Bones as the manipulative Science officer (Sir Humphrey)
Chekov as the Straight Man (Bernard)
Spock as the the Principal Secretary (Sir Arnold)

Yes, Captain (Take 2)

A harem adventure set on Gor. These are the adventures of Kirk, a Captain among men, and his trusty slaves <CENSORED>
  #42  
Old 01-08-2019, 06:39 AM
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Worf is the prosecutor. Riker is the clerk.
Should be the other way around, don't you think? I can see Riker into things like phone sex, but not Worf.
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  #43  
Old 01-08-2019, 11:50 AM
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Posts: 8,082
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Lucy, my wife, there is a much more efficient method to storing those chocolate confections within your mouth. Allow me to demonstrate....

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