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Old 02-10-2019, 04:26 AM
Asuka Asuka is offline
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Do endless sexual opportunites actually get boring?

Growing up the most common piece of advice I got was "If you're ever granted 3 wishes, never waste one on unlimited sex. You'll quickly get bored of it." This seems like a pretty bog-standard advice regarding "Would you rather" scenarios but I've always questioned it.

Granted, doing the same thing over and over again does get boring, but considering the number of famous people (both men and women) who have literally thousands of sexual conquests as well as people who claimed to have sex with a different person every night, I wonder if the claim that "the sex will get boring" is just some preference thing, considering there are people who do like doing the same things over and over again.

So it this truly just a preference issue, or is there some actual consensus that the more sex you get the more bored you get of it?
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Old 02-10-2019, 04:54 AM
Royal Nonesutch Royal Nonesutch is offline
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Growing up the most common piece of advice I got was "If you're ever granted 3 wishes, never waste one on unlimited sex. You'll quickly get bored of it."
That is the most common piece of advice you got growing up, eh?

Where were you raised, in the Enchanted Forest behind Larry Flint's house?
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Old 02-10-2019, 04:58 AM
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Think of it like porn: given the unlimited supply we all now have, do you get bored fairly fast? But do you still go to those websites occasionally?

Different people are wired differently, but for me the answers are yes for both, and I suspect it would be the same with casual sex, although I'll never know for sure.

Last edited by Mijin; 02-10-2019 at 04:59 AM.
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Old 02-10-2019, 08:00 AM
polar bear polar bear is online now
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I think 'boring' is the wrong term. You have food every day, but I think few people would say they get bored of eating (unless you are on a restricted diet*). On the other hand, you probably could not tell me what you had for diner a month ago.

Having lots of sexual opportunities (and taking them), normalizes sex. Which means it isn't a big deal and you probably won't think about it too much and maybe remember less about it than if you have few actual experiences. This seems strange to us, because most people live in a situation where they have relatively few partners; by choice or not.

I think it works the same if you are in a long term relationship: you probably have a lot of opportunity to have sex, but it is fairly normalized and individual experiences leave less of an impression than they did when the relationship was new.


* for what it's worth, if sex is restricted to the same scenario every time, I think it might actually get boring as well at some point
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Old 02-10-2019, 01:40 PM
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From Cheers:

Diane: Unlimited sex. The adult male's version of owning a candy store. But tell me, once you've consumed as much sex for as long as you want it, what would you do then?

Norm: I'd help the poor.
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Old 02-10-2019, 01:50 PM
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I think I'll apply for a grant to study this issue. Yeah, that's the ticket!
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Old 02-10-2019, 02:04 PM
Royal Nonesutch Royal Nonesutch is offline
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Originally Posted by polar bear View Post
I think 'boring' is the wrong term. You have food every day, but I think few people would say they get bored of eating (unless you are on a restricted diet*). On the other hand, you probably could not tell me what you had for diner a month ago.

Having lots of sexual opportunities (and taking them), normalizes sex. Which means it isn't a big deal and you probably won't think about it too much and maybe remember less about it than if you have few actual experiences. This seems strange to us, because most people live in a situation where they have relatively few partners; by choice or not.

I think it works the same if you are in a long term relationship: you probably have a lot of opportunity to have sex, but it is fairly normalized and individual experiences leave less of an impression than they did when the relationship was new.


* for what it's worth, if sex is restricted to the same scenario every time, I think it might actually get boring as well at some point
Just in case there is actually such a thing, I would hate to be accused of "Whoremonger Shaming" anyone, but for the record, you are the guy who started his very own thread proudly crowing about the cold, hard fact that you have paid over 100(?) different women for sex, right?

Perhaps given your perspective, maybe your outlook is skewed in ways that other people's would not be.

Last edited by Royal Nonesutch; 02-10-2019 at 02:05 PM.
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Old 02-10-2019, 02:17 PM
Wesley Clark Wesley Clark is offline
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In the guns and roses biography, it seemed to. I forget which biography it was, maybe Steven Adler. He said after he got famous getting girls was like casting a net out a window and catching the best tuna with no effort. He said it lost its challenge.
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  #9  
Old 02-10-2019, 03:11 PM
SamuelA SamuelA is offline
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I can say I recently had an experience where I, well, had a good time.

I went to Eastern Europe and I dated a couple of girls at the same time for a couple weeks. And, well, I also saw hookers during the first week when the girls I was dating wouldn't put out.

So I was having sex with a different girl once or twice a night. (yes I was somewhat dreading the results of my STD test when I got home, got lucky this time and I used condoms with the ladies of the night). Anyways I will say the thrill did start to wane, especially in week 2. Also got harder to perform.

I am sure if I could live in this situation long term it would eventually become less exciting. Eventually.
  #10  
Old 02-10-2019, 03:20 PM
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As someone who got very few sexual opportunities the first 30 years of my life, I can say with near certainty that it made me appreciate the few opportunities I got even more. I've gotten bajillions of opportunities with the same woman the last 23 years, and I've never stopped appreciating them. If I hadn't been able to swing a dead cat without hitting a woman who wanted to get horizontal with me I could see it getting monotonous after a while.
  #11  
Old 02-10-2019, 04:33 PM
wellanuff wellanuff is offline
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Assuming some sort of fantastical, genie-in-a-bottle scenario of sexual opportunity without consequence or consideration of other people's desires:

If compelled to fill a quota (you can have sex with anyone you like, any way you like, but you must have sex at least x times per day, even if "x" is "1"), it would become drudgery after a while. ("Christ, I forgot to have sex today, but I'm exhausted and I just want to get some sleep! Come on, let's get this over with!")
If allowed to have sex whenever you wanted but only with one or a limited selection of partners, it would eventually become boring. (Not to be confused with a long-term monogamous relationship with a single person with whom there is a complex tapestry of love and partnership; I mean just one person (or a very limited few people) who is just your sex partner and nothing more.)
If you could have sex with anyone you like, but always in the same manner, it would also eventually become boring...I think. The variety of each different partner's responses/participation in the same sexual activity might very well be enough to maintain interest.

If you could have sex whenever you wanted with whoever you wanted in any manner/scenario you chose, including just letting the other person take the initiative and do what they want to do, and also skip having sex if you just didn't feel like it on a given day, I can't imagine that "skipping it" would ever become my default, routine daily choice. On occasional days, yes, but never on an ongoing basis. This type of situation would not be boring. At least, I can't conceive of how that could ever become boring.

Last edited by wellanuff; 02-10-2019 at 04:37 PM. Reason: clarification
  #12  
Old 02-10-2019, 05:45 PM
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Can't help thinking about my husband in this context. Raped at age 9, because his unique bodily characteristics were already becoming apparent. Regularly sexually active (with or without his consent) by the time he was a teenager. Had literally thousands of partners. Caught STDs (miraculously not HIV). Became an addict, due to people slipping him drugs in order to make him perform. Almost died, until his parents got control and got him the help he needed.

In short, it never became boring, it became life-threatening.

Now he just has sex with me. But we are inventive and flexible enough to never let it become stale.
  #13  
Old 02-10-2019, 06:13 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is online now
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Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
In the guns and roses biography, it seemed to. I forget which biography it was, maybe Steven Adler. He said after he got famous getting girls was like casting a net out a window and catching the best tuna with no effort. He said it lost its challenge.
Wilt Chamberlain claimed that he'd had sex with 20,000 woman (something very few people find believable) but whatever that number was, he would have traded all those casual experiences for one woman who would have given him true love.
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Old 02-10-2019, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Mijin View Post
Think of it like porn: given the unlimited supply we all now have, do you get bored fairly fast? But do you still go to those websites occasionally?
Expanding the definition of 'porn' to include my own diverse sexual fantasies, played out on the screen of my mind....no, not yet bored. I keep coming up with new ones.
  #15  
Old 02-10-2019, 07:37 PM
Wesley Clark Wesley Clark is offline
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Wilt Chamberlain claimed that he'd had sex with 20,000 woman (something very few people find believable) but whatever that number was, he would have traded all those casual experiences for one woman who would have given him true love.
A wealthy, reasonably attractive male celebrity has the option to sleep with thousands of women. But I don't know if most do. I know lots take advantage of the opportunity, but they don't really rack up partner counts in the thousands on average. Jose Canseco said he slept with a couple hundred women over 20 years. Thats a lot by most people's standards, but thats also about one a month. Far lower than the number he could have had if he'd wanted it.

Some people like Vince Neil or Wilt Chamberlain rack up partner counts in the five figures though. But even though many celebrities have that option, most do not seem to take it up to that extent.
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Last edited by Wesley Clark; 02-10-2019 at 07:37 PM.
  #16  
Old 02-10-2019, 08:08 PM
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Besides various livestock, I have not had endless sexual opportunities so I do not know if I would be bored.
  #17  
Old 02-11-2019, 06:07 AM
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Growing up the most common piece of advice I got was "If you're ever granted 3 wishes, never waste one on unlimited sex. You'll quickly get bored of it."
"I know, Mom, I know. But teacher said we have to give Valentines to everyone in class."
  #18  
Old 02-11-2019, 10:03 AM
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Some people like Vince Neil or Wilt Chamberlain rack up partner counts in the five figures though. But even though many celebrities have that option, most do not seem to take it up to that extent.
I'd think that at some point, it becomes an exercise in statistics- the hardware, so to speak, is probably a lot more similar than not, and doing it with thousands of people would tend to reinforce that, I'd think.

My guess is that a sane, intelligent person would probably hit that point fairly quickly and go looking for something more meaningful. Of course there are a lot of dumb people out there who would just wallow in it without really ever thinking past it too.
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Old 02-11-2019, 11:13 AM
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Why would sex be different than constant repetition of or exposure to anything else?
  #20  
Old 02-11-2019, 11:24 AM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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I imagine it depends on the person. Some people have an endless appetite for sex, and for those people it probably doesn't get boring. Others use sex to fill a psychological gap elsewhere, and likely don't enjoy it that much to begin with.
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Some people like Vince Neil or Wilt Chamberlain rack up partner counts in the five figures though. But even though many celebrities have that option, most do not seem to take it up to that extent.
Most don't publicize it, but that seems to reflect the appetites of their audiences. Making sure everyone knows you had sex a lot is good for business in much of the popular music industry. That applies to "serious" performers like Lemmy and Mick Jagger and to less serious ones like Vince Neil and Fifty Cent.

Conversely, that isn't the case in sports, although professional athletes probably have just as many opportunities for casual sex. The really promiscuous athletes like Tiger Woods (who at 121 is nowhere close to Gene Simmons and his 10,000) and Wilt are famous for it - and of course Tiger didn't exactly publicize his exploits.

I imagine the acting profession works more like sports.
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Old 02-11-2019, 11:59 AM
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I'd think that at some point, it becomes an exercise in statistics- the hardware, so to speak, is probably a lot more similar than not, and doing it with thousands of people would tend to reinforce that, I'd think.

My guess is that a sane, intelligent person would probably hit that point fairly quickly and go looking for something more meaningful. Of course there are a lot of dumb people out there who would just wallow in it without really ever thinking past it too.
Color me dumb, then. I know myself pretty well and I'm sure I'd wallow. There would be plenty of time for other stuff throughout the day.
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:04 PM
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A wealthy, reasonably attractive male celebrity has the option to sleep with thousands of women. But I don't know if most do.
Lots of elite male professional athletes are married, and I would hazard a guess that most of those relationships are traditional.
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:56 PM
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I would guess that pretty much anything available in unlimited quantities for no effort becomes boring, be it food, sex, movies, sports, travel or adventure. For something to be meaningful, there has to be a certain scarcity or limit to it.


That being said, i would guess also that no one in the world has truly unlimited sex available. Even the most famous celebrities or richest billionaires or most powerful people would still find women who would reject them for this or that reason.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:01 PM
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I dunno I like air, haven't got sick of it yet. Or water.
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Old 02-11-2019, 07:57 PM
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When I was in college ca. 1990, I saw a cartoon in a 'zine (remember those?) called "Axl & Nobbes." AFAIK, it was just a one-off kind of thing, but yeah, Nobbes (spelled that way) was an inflatable sex doll.
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Old 02-11-2019, 08:48 PM
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Wilt Chamberlain claimed that he'd had sex with 20,000 woman (something very few people find believable) but whatever that number was, he would have traded all those casual experiences for one woman who would have given him true love.
Did Wilt really say that? The interviews with him that I have seen don't seem to suggest that. He seemed to enjoy the life he was having and wasn't looking for a long term "true love" situation.
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Old 02-12-2019, 05:11 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is online now
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Did Wilt really say that? The interviews with him that I have seen don't seem to suggest that. He seemed to enjoy the life he was having and wasn't looking for a long term "true love" situation.
It was in his autobiography, published a few years before his death.

That spawned an SNL skit where Hammer, who was hosting, portrayed him in a "show" called "Remembrances of Love, with Wilt Chamberlain." The main thing I remember is that he was wearing fake legs, to make him look 7 feet tall.
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Old 02-13-2019, 06:10 AM
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Wilt Chamberlain claimed that he'd had sex with 20,000 woman (something very few people find believable) but whatever that number was, he would have traded all those casual experiences for one woman who would have given him true love.
20 000 women is one woman per nigh, no nights off for almost 55 years. He died at 63 (and no wonder). Given that he must have spent some time on athletics to become famous, he'd generally need an average number higher than one lay per day.

I don't doubt that that is possible for a famous professional athlete, but every night for decade after decade after decade ? Seems high.
  #29  
Old 02-13-2019, 10:13 AM
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Yes.

</smug>
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Old 02-13-2019, 10:18 AM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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20 000 women is one woman per nigh, no nights off for almost 55 years. He died at 63 (and no wonder). Given that he must have spent some time on athletics to become famous, he'd generally need an average number higher than one lay per day.

I don't doubt that that is possible for a famous professional athlete, but every night for decade after decade after decade ? Seems high.
I gather it was more of a "three or four women per night two or three nights per week" thing.
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Old 02-13-2019, 10:31 AM
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So far, the discussion has been mainly about heterosexual sex and celebrities but aren't we far more likely to find anecdata among homosexual/bisexual of the non-celebrity variety men? Once you're out as a homosexual/bisexual man, the social costs of your sexuality have largely already been incurred and now, the only thing you have to do is talk men who are in a similar situation into sex.
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Old 02-13-2019, 02:22 PM
Ashtura Ashtura is offline
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Most people would never know.

Leo DeCaprio seems to be content with it though, for decades now...
  #33  
Old 02-13-2019, 03:07 PM
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So far, the discussion has been mainly about heterosexual sex and celebrities but aren't we far more likely to find anecdata among homosexual/bisexual of the non-celebrity variety men? Once you're out as a homosexual/bisexual man, the social costs of your sexuality have largely already been incurred and now, the only thing you have to do is talk men who are in a similar situation into sex.
Well, back in the bathhouse days, even the talking was optional. Or so I've been told.........
  #34  
Old 02-13-2019, 05:22 PM
Max Torque Max Torque is offline
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  #35  
Old 02-14-2019, 10:35 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Me first!

I can't imagine it ever getting boring, but I can see where I'd want to take a night (or two or three) off now and then. Having the opportunity would be awesome - having it be an obligation would become onerous pretty quickly.
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Old 02-14-2019, 01:36 PM
Sangahyando Sangahyando is offline
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Originally Posted by Grim Render View Post
20 000 women is one woman per nigh, no nights off for almost 55 years. He died at 63 (and no wonder). Given that he must have spent some time on athletics to become famous, he'd generally need an average number higher than one lay per day.

I don't doubt that that is possible for a famous professional athlete, but every night for decade after decade after decade ? Seems high.
I recall hearing that Errol Flynn laid claim to having had sex with a colossal number of different women. As regards the age at which he made his claim -- someone commented that he must have been either a liar, or a remarkably precocious eleven-year-old.
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Old 02-14-2019, 02:02 PM
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Do endless sexual opportunites actually get boring?

No.

Now, please respect my privacy. I do not wish to discuss the matter any further.
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Old 02-14-2019, 02:55 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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A gentleman never kisses - er, makes love to a truly staggering number of women - and tells.
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Old 02-14-2019, 08:13 PM
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  #40  
Old 02-14-2019, 08:33 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is online now
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I recall hearing that Errol Flynn laid claim to having had sex with a colossal number of different women. As regards the age at which he made his claim -- someone commented that he must have been either a liar, or a remarkably precocious eleven-year-old.
Wasn't he the one (or one of the ones, anyway) who also had a thing for borderline-underage girls, right up until the day he died?
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Old 02-14-2019, 08:47 PM
HMS Irruncible HMS Irruncible is online now
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I would guess that pretty much anything available in unlimited quantities for no effort becomes boring, be it food, sex, movies, sports, travel or adventure.
Spotted the guy who never had cocaine.

Not advocating for cocaine, but it's the substance that compels you long after it should have become boring and repetitive tiresome. That's why it's cocaine.

Edited: don't do cocaine, kids.

Last edited by HMS Irruncible; 02-14-2019 at 08:47 PM.
  #42  
Old 02-15-2019, 06:25 AM
Sangahyando Sangahyando is offline
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Wasn't he the one (or one of the ones, anyway) who also had a thing for borderline-underage girls, right up until the day he died?
Not sure about that -- I gather though that for some strange reason, he features in numerous jokes and doggerel rhymes which suggest that he was into the male sex, in a predatory way; and not the female ditto. Envy on some guys' part, just a bit?
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