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  #41101  
Old 05-10-2019, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by JohnT View Post
How did "JAMES COMEY, YES THE FBI GUY, IS COMING TO SHOOT UP THE SCHOOL!!!" even get play?

Oh, stupid me. The cops are probably on the same Twitter and FB feeds as well.
I think you missed this part (my bold):
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Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen View Post
The school had to cancel a fundraiser out of fear of right wing crazies showing up with guns to "protect" the school.
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-w...tion-of-school
No one in authority thought there was going to be a terrorist attack, except perhaps from right-wing crazies.
  #41102  
Old 05-10-2019, 08:14 PM
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They all think they're Batman and their enemies (i.e., liberals) are campy-60s-Batman's rogues gallery.
"Could be any one of them, but which one?"
"Not one, Commissioner. This 'grocery store clerk' is clearly the prelude to an entire sininster shopping list."
gasp!
"It begins with the soloist, who sings solos, which as you can plainly see is but one letter removed from--"
"Soros! Holy Hungarian horror!"
"Yes, old chum, and that is only the beginning. Next we have a chemist, who selects and mixes the contents of bottles much like a bartender."
"AOC!" (shudder)
"No doubt."
"But who is the strike-replacement teacher?"
"Obviously, the strike-replacement teacher picks up where the regular teacher left off with the textbooks--"
"Books? Cory Booker!"
"Precisely. Now, we come to the most sinister foe of all, the 'interrupted' director left biding his time."
Several gasps. "Joe Biden!
"I'm afraid so. We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over...."
"Take over the Congress?"
"Any two of them would try that."
"The Congress and the states?"
"If it were three of them, I would say yes, but four? Their minimum objective must be... the White House itself!"
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  #41103  
Old 05-10-2019, 08:34 PM
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Bravo!

Please let me know at what Bat Time the saga will be continuing.
  #41104  
Old 05-11-2019, 12:14 AM
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*applause*

You took my feeble joke and transformed it into a far superior scenario. Bravo!
  #41105  
Old 05-11-2019, 08:19 AM
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[Jim Nabors Voice]Surprise! Surprise! Surprise![/JNV]


The GoFundMe for the mythical Mexican border wall is just the latest scam from the host/starter/whatever of the GFM page.
  #41106  
Old 05-11-2019, 10:48 AM
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[Jim Nabors Voice]Surprise! Surprise! Surprise![/JNV]


The GoFundMe for the mythical Mexican border wall is just the latest scam from the host/starter/whatever of the GFM page.
Story says that, in order to avoid protesters and the ACLU, they are looking for a secure location to begin building. I will guess they will start putting up the first section just outside Peru Nebraska.
  #41107  
Old 05-11-2019, 11:05 AM
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Story says that, in order to avoid protesters and the ACLU, they are looking for a secure location to begin building. I will guess they will start putting up the first section just outside Peru Nebraska.
Shows what you know. Of course they will start by walling in Mexico, MO. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexico,_Missouri
  #41108  
Old 05-11-2019, 11:50 AM
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Story says that, in order to avoid protesters and the ACLU, they are looking for a secure location to begin building. I will guess they will start putting up the first section just outside Peru Nebraska.
If it can double as a levee for the Missouri river, I might even throw in a couple of bucks.
  #41109  
Old 05-11-2019, 01:29 PM
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More on the Comey conspiracy to attack the school. Included in his tweet was the hashtag FiveJobsIHad. The crazies are saying that the J, the I and the "Had" spell out JIHad, and it indicates he's planning five attacks.
  #41110  
Old 05-12-2019, 09:47 AM
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[Jim Nabors Voice]Surprise! Surprise! Surprise![/JNV]


The GoFundMe for the mythical Mexican border wall is just the latest scam from the host/starter/whatever of the GFM page.
Here is a more direct link in the Phoenix New Times article.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PNT
• There are only of 72.87 miles of collective “gaps” in the Roosevelt Reservation — either privately owned properties or lapses in easements due to terrain, according to the commission.

• According to the commission, there are approximately 15.79 miles of collective “gaps” in the Roosevelt Reservation* along Arizona’s roughly 370-mile border with Mexico. These are found in Pima, Santa Cruz, and Cochise counties.

• Most of the border property that was once privately owned in these “gaps” has subsequently been purchased by the federal government, and not a single piece of private property exists as a part of Arizona’s border with Mexico where there is not already federal border wall.

The Roosevelt Reservation also covers all but roughly 4.5 collective miles — in Luna and Dona Ana counties — of the international border with New Mexico.

It is not clear how much of the land in these 4.5 miles is now owned by the federal government, but New Times spoke with Luna County farmer James Johnson, who, in January, offered the Trump administration an easement to build a wall on his property. Johnson, whose property is flanked by federally controlled border, said he had never been contacted by WeBuildtheWall, and that he didn’t see its plans as being effective.
[...]
Along Arizona’s roughly 370-mile border with Mexico, [U.S. Customs and Border Protection Public Affairs Specialist Robert] Daniels said, are 124 miles of primary fencing. An additional 183 miles of Arizona’s international border are covered by vehicle barriers, much of which is “Normandy-style” fencing constructed of sections of steel railroad track. Primary border wall is further augmented, said [U.S. Customs and Border Protection Public Affairs Specialist Robert] Daniels, by 10 miles of “secondary fencing” and eight miles of “tertiary fencing,” primarily in the Yuma area (in the far southwestern corner of the state).

All told, border wall and vehicle barriers cover 307 miles of the Arizona-Mexico border. The remaining 43 miles of Arizona’s border are largely composed of areas where walls and barriers either are not needed, or cannot feasibly be constructed, because of difficult terrain or other considerations. Most of that land is covered largely by barbed wire fence.
*The Roosevelt Reservation is a sixty-foot Federal easement along the border.
  #41111  
Old 05-15-2019, 07:47 PM
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Ted Cruz: We need a Space Force because of space pirates.
https://www.cnet.com/news/ted-cruz-w...is-the-answer/
  #41112  
Old 05-15-2019, 07:54 PM
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Ted Cruz: We need a Space Force because of space pirates.
https://www.cnet.com/news/ted-cruz-w...is-the-answer/
Whatever that thing is on his face has taken over his brain.
  #41113  
Old 05-15-2019, 08:43 PM
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I was listening to The Rise Guys podcast this morning. They had an open phone segment. One woman called in angry at Paige, the news reporter. On a previous broadcast, they were discussing Game of Thrones, and Paige mentioned
SPOILER:
There's one dragon left.

The caller was super pissed, and Paige told her to get over it. The caller ranted for about a minute before telling Paige "I got a spoiler for you. That movie you're starring in is going to suck!"

The DJs buzzed about this, then took more callers. This is where the thread topic kicks in, and in addition to "Stupid," I hereby add "Completely batshit fucking crazy." The next caller was definitely a Trump supporter. "That last caller sounds like she's from Spartanburg, where all them liberals are." The DJs wondered why he said that. He further continued with "If they want their late-term abortions so much, why don't they just shoot them?" The DJs shouted "Whoa! How did this all the sudden get political?" and cut him off.

How in the fuck did an on-air discussion of spoiling Game of Thrones inspire this kook to call in and rant about liberals and abortions? How did a Mayberry-sized town in the Bible Belt get regarded as some liberal mecca? Trump is definitely getting re-elected.
  #41114  
Old 05-15-2019, 08:55 PM
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Ted Cruz: We need a Space Force because of space pirates.
https://www.cnet.com/news/ted-cruz-w...is-the-answer/

Who the hell would want to be in the Space Force if they could be space pirates instead ? Space pirates are 276% cooler than Space Marines, I'm sorry but it's true, I've done the math.
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  #41115  
Old 05-15-2019, 09:48 PM
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Michigan state legislator: Procedures to terminate pregnancies should be paiinful.
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-w...says-procedure
  #41116  
Old 05-15-2019, 09:53 PM
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Florida man calls police on Middle Eastern comedian because joke about terrorism made him feel 'uncomfortable'
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-kno...median-because
  #41117  
Old 05-15-2019, 09:56 PM
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Florida man calls police on Middle Eastern comedian because joke about terrorism made him feel 'uncomfortable'
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-kno...median-because
Jesus Christ, and people say "Liberals" are snowflakes? What a moron.
  #41118  
Old 05-15-2019, 10:08 PM
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Who the hell would want to be in the Space Force if they could be space pirates instead ? Space pirates are 276% cooler than Space Marines, I'm sorry but it's true, I've done the math.
Wait...are these space pirates Ted is worried about actually earthlings? Or rogue alien bug-eyed monsters?

He thinks we need to protect “space commerce,” but I haven’t heard of any earth criminals sufficiently advanced in technology to set themselves up in rocket ships and death rays.

I need to know soon in order to further my lifelong dream of running a hot dog stand on the moon.
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  #41119  
Old 05-15-2019, 10:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
Wait...are these space pirates Ted is worried about actually earthlings? Or rogue alien bug-eyed monsters?

He thinks we need to protect “space commerce,” but I haven’t heard of any earth criminals sufficiently advanced in technology to set themselves up in rocket ships and death rays.

I need to know soon in order to further my lifelong dream of running a hot dog stand on the moon.
Is that a code for a child sex ring on the moon?
  #41120  
Old 05-16-2019, 01:03 AM
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Michigan state legislator: Procedures to terminate pregnancies should be paiinful.
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-w...says-procedure
Because Eve.

Right?
  #41121  
Old 05-16-2019, 01:56 AM
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Michigan state legislator: Procedures to terminate pregnancies should be paiinful.
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-w...says-procedure
The sponsor of the Alabama abortion bill says that currently legal procedures will continue to be available under the new law until the woman knows she's pregnant; after that, a doctor faces a 99-year prison term for terminating the pregnancy (the relevant section starts at 1:39, and I recommend continuing on to the replay where he goes into greater detail).

I immediately thought of Catch-22, where one can only see Major Major Major in his office when he's not there.
  #41122  
Old 05-16-2019, 02:09 AM
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The sponsor of the Alabama abortion bill says that currently legal procedures will continue to be available under the new law until the woman knows she's pregnant; after that, a doctor faces a 99-year prison term for terminating the pregnancy (the relevant section starts at 1:39, and I recommend continuing on to the replay where he goes into greater detail).

I immediately thought of Catch-22, where one can only see Major Major Major in his office when he's not there.

How about this for a Catch-22? The woman just continues to deny she's pregnant and the doctor is merely "performing exploratory surgery".''

ETA: From your link (bolding mine):

Quote:
“Of course it should be hard, and the procedure should be painful, and you should allow God to take over, and you should deliver that baby, and you should handle the situation,” LaSata, a sponsor of one of the bills, said while discussing the measure, according to Michigan Radio.

Yet another Trump-dumper who's completely unfamiliar with the constitution.

Another ETA: It really fascinates how these ultra-fundied out types are so hung up on abortion to the point where some even clamor for the death penalty (or even carry it out themselves, killing doctors). IIRC, the Bible does not prohibit abortion and it certainly does not call for the death penalty for it.

Last edited by Monty; 05-16-2019 at 02:14 AM.
  #41123  
Old 05-16-2019, 04:59 AM
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Wait...are these space pirates Ted is worried about actually earthlings? Or rogue alien bug-eyed monsters?


Hmm. I hadn't considered the possibility of there being Grey space pirates.




Quote:
He thinks we need to protect “space commerce,” but I haven’t heard of any earth criminals sufficiently advanced in technology to set themselves up in rocket ships and death rays.

Well, I haven't heard of any "space commerce" either. Maybe when Amazon starts delivering via ICBM ? "We deliver anywhere in the world within 20 minutes, guaranteed or your roof back !"
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  #41124  
Old 05-16-2019, 06:15 AM
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Hmm. I hadn't considered the possibility of there being Grey space pirates.



What did you think all that alien abduction stuff was all about?
  #41125  
Old 05-16-2019, 07:45 AM
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What did you think all that alien abduction stuff was all about?
Anal probing.
  #41126  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:13 AM
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The sponsor of the Alabama abortion bill says that currently legal procedures will continue to be available under the new law until the woman knows she's pregnant; after that, a doctor faces a 99-year prison term for terminating the pregnancy (the relevant section starts at 1:39, and I recommend continuing on to the replay where he goes into greater detail).

I immediately thought of Catch-22, where one can only see Major Major Major in his office when he's not there.
The good news is we have found the stupidest people on the planet. The bad news is that they are in control.
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  #41127  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:55 AM
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Florida State Senator Dennis Baxley, friends. The guy who gave us the Stand Your Ground law. Now he wants to remove the mayors of Orlando and Orange County from the Orlando International Airport board of directors. (A) The holders of those offices are required by law to be members, (B) the city of Orlando owns the airport, and (C) Baxley is from Ocala, 100 miles away. US Rep. Matt Gaetz has played around with the Orlando airport authority, too - and he's from Pensacola.
  #41128  
Old 05-16-2019, 01:02 PM
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A talk radio station in Connecticut has rebranded itself as Trump 103.3
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/4...lf-trump-1033?
  #41129  
Old 05-16-2019, 02:41 PM
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A talk radio station in Connecticut has rebranded itself as Trump 103.3
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/4...lf-trump-1033?
Letter from Trump lawyers demanding licensing fees arriving at station in 3..., 2...., 1...

Last edited by Buck Godot; 05-16-2019 at 02:41 PM.
  #41130  
Old 05-16-2019, 05:53 PM
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Disney bought out Trump?
  #41131  
Old 05-16-2019, 06:22 PM
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Disney bought out Trump?
Well off hand I can not think of any Disney clowns, so maybe?
  #41132  
Old 05-16-2019, 07:48 PM
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Florida State Senator Dennis Baxley, friends. The guy who gave us the Stand Your Ground law. Now he wants to remove the mayors of Orlando and Orange County from the Orlando International Airport board of directors. (A) The holders of those offices are required by law to be members, (B) the city of Orlando owns the airport, and (C) Baxley is from Ocala, 100 miles away. US Rep. Matt Gaetz has played around with the Orlando airport authority, too - and he's from Pensacola.
Weird.

Is there some sort of profit-making opportunity that these Republicans could exploit if the responsible types were excluded, or what?
  #41133  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:01 PM
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Is there some sort of profit-making opportunity that these Republicans could exploit if the responsible types were excluded, or what?
Is that a rhetorical question?

“It is good to be shifty in a new country.” — Capt. Simon Suggs of Tallapoosa
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  #41134  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:03 PM
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Disney bought out Trump?
Pretty sure the Russians and Saudis got there first.
  #41135  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:10 PM
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Is that a rhetorical question?

“It is good to be shifty in a new country.” — Capt. Simon Suggs of Tallapoosa
Well, sure. I'm just trying to think of what it could be. I mean, are they going to demand every disembarking passenger hand them a sawbuck, or what?
  #41136  
Old 05-16-2019, 09:16 PM
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Ted Cruz: We need a Space Force because of space pirates.
https://www.cnet.com/news/ted-cruz-w...is-the-answer/
Followup: after pretty much the entire Twitterverse made much sport of Cruz' "Space Pirates" speech, Cruz posted a rather sulky Tweet about how unfairly he was being treated. Chris Hayes, who had made Cruz the subject of his "Thing 1, Thing 2" segment last night, commented that Cruz' Tweet was "...the saddest thing I've ever seen". Cruz' retort was actually rather funny, although I suspect that wasn't exactly his intention:

"May Space Pirates devour your liver."

Last edited by El_Kabong; 05-16-2019 at 09:17 PM.
  #41137  
Old 05-16-2019, 09:40 PM
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Followup: after pretty much the entire Twitterverse made much sport of Cruz' "Space Pirates" speech, Cruz posted a rather sulky Tweet about how unfairly he was being treated. Chris Hayes, who had made Cruz the subject of his "Thing 1, Thing 2" segment last night, commented that Cruz' Tweet was "...the saddest thing I've ever seen". Cruz' retort was actually rather funny, although I suspect that wasn't exactly his intention:

"May Space Pirates devour your liver."
Were I on Twitter, and had that retort aimed at me, I'd just respond with "Well, SOMEbody better. I ordered the pork chop. It's not like liver is even made out of food."
  #41138  
Old 05-17-2019, 12:34 AM
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Liver is the licorice of meat.
  #41139  
Old 05-17-2019, 07:42 AM
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Liver is the licorice of meat.
I think that's fair - there is very little middle ground on either item. Someone either loves it or hates it. Personally, I'm pro-licorice and anti-liver.
  #41140  
Old 05-17-2019, 08:04 AM
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It's even worse.

Liver is the liver of meat.
  #41141  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:50 AM
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It's even worse.

Liver is the liver of meat.
Liver is the kidney of meat.
  #41142  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:59 AM
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Here is a recipe for liver with braised fava beans. I assume that everyone knows the correct wine accompaniment....
  #41143  
Old 05-17-2019, 12:31 PM
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Weird.

Is there some sort of profit-making opportunity that these Republicans could exploit if the responsible types were excluded, or what?
Ron DeSantis has quietly been cleaning up a bunch of crooked activity that Rick Scott left behind, particularly in the area of central Florida quasi-governmental boards.* So it's possible that whatever he and Baxley are trying to do is genuinely related to concerns about possible scandals. But Demings and Dyer are Democrats and weren't involved with Scott or the previous board goings-on.

*I went to college with Marco Pena, one of the crooks in the expressway shenanigans, so I have a vague rooting interest beyond the fact that I use Orlando roads and airports.
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:05 PM
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Here is a recipe for liver with braised fava beans. I assume that everyone knows the correct wine accompaniment....
In the book. It was a “big Beaune.” In the movie, it was a “nice Chianti.” The director must have thought the audience would hear “bone” for “Beaune,” or just figured everyone would know what Chianti is.
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  #41145  
Old 05-17-2019, 03:34 PM
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Zombie space pirates are the worst kind.
  #41146  
Old 05-17-2019, 04:08 PM
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That's why 'Murica needs Space Cowboys. They already have a theme song, too.

Last edited by bobot; 05-17-2019 at 04:08 PM.
  #41147  
Old 05-17-2019, 04:21 PM
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Bet we're not ready for that.
  #41148  
Old 05-17-2019, 05:21 PM
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Florida man calls police on Middle Eastern comedian because joke about terrorism made him feel 'uncomfortable'
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-kno...median-because
Worst. Superhero. Ever.
  #41149  
Old 05-17-2019, 05:31 PM
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Zombie space pirates are the worst kind.
I know all about space pirates and zombies, eh.
  #41150  
Old 05-17-2019, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
Ron DeSantis has quietly been cleaning up a bunch of crooked activity that Rick Scott left behind, particularly in the area of central Florida quasi-governmental boards.* So it's possible that whatever he and Baxley are trying to do is genuinely related to concerns about possible scandals. But Demings and Dyer are Democrats and weren't involved with Scott or the previous board goings-on.

*I went to college with Marco Pena, one of the crooks in the expressway shenanigans, so I have a vague rooting interest beyond the fact that I use Orlando roads and airports.
Thanks. Though I will admit to being skeptical about the idea of Ron DeSantis cleaning up Rick Scott's crooked activity. DeSantis didn't strike me as being the sort to clean up crooked activity. (I'm perfectly willing to be proven wrong.)
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