Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #851  
Old 04-20-2018, 08:40 PM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
When Crazy Canuck speaks, his lips don’t sync with his words.
  #852  
Old 04-20-2018, 10:34 PM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Blue Blistering Barnacle is a ghost passing as alive.
  #853  
Old 04-25-2018, 11:07 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
boson always drinks slushies extra fast, seeking Guinness World Book of Records recognition for the world’s biggest ice cream headache.
  #854  
Old 04-27-2018, 08:39 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 20,977
Blue Blistering Barnacle has spent decades trying to get DC Comics to retire, "Great Caesar's Ghost," as Perry White's catch-phrase and adopt his moniker, instead. Got my vote.
  #855  
Old 04-28-2018, 03:35 AM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
burpo the wonder mutt was seen two weeks ago in a desert outside Elko Nevada aiming the largest electromagnet he could find into the sky . He was mumbling something about, "gonna get this meteor, gonna get this meteor, gonna give us a new start." Nobody knows what he was up to.
  #856  
Old 04-28-2018, 10:17 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 46,613
boson was in the courtroom when OJ Simpson was found "not guilty" and yelled ASSHOLES at the jury.
  #857  
Old 04-30-2018, 11:29 PM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Annie-Xmas bought herself a cold-shoulder blouse to show off her tattoos only to remember that it was her butt cheeks that had the tattoos.
  #858  
Old 05-01-2018, 08:45 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 46,613
boson has a brand new tattoo that's a real beauty of a Mexican cutie, but how it got there he hasn't a clue.
  #859  
Old 05-02-2018, 11:54 PM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Annie-Xmas talks to the TV a lot. But it’s not to the news but to Flo during the Progressive commercials. Annie has a life goal to be a Flo cover stand up artist.
  #860  
Old 05-03-2018, 09:46 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
boson’s goal of becoming “the kind of sicko everyone here yearns to be” has been regularly foiled by the strength of his own moral fiber. If only he’d stop eating so much oatmeal.
  #861  
Old 05-04-2018, 02:33 PM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 1,331
BBB once farted so loud his screen saver deactivated.
  #862  
Old 05-04-2018, 10:20 PM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Whiskey Dickens farts so hard that he can get up to 11 mph in his office chair.
  #863  
Old 05-05-2018, 10:14 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 46,613
boson fats rainbows and rides unicorns.
  #864  
Old 05-06-2018, 09:51 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 20,977
Annie-Xmas is being replaced this holiday season by Helen Hanukkah.

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 05-06-2018 at 09:51 PM.
  #865  
Old 05-07-2018, 09:10 AM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 1,331
More like "farto the wonder butt," am I right? What a gassy bastard. SAD!
  #866  
Old 05-08-2018, 11:38 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
After that last one, I think we could close the thread and declare a winner! But Whiskey Dickens wants to tell at least one more fart joke.
  #867  
Old 05-08-2018, 05:54 PM
Alpha Twit Alpha Twit is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,007
Annie-Xmas reportedly paid a large sum of hush money to make sure that certain indelicate pictures concerning her and the elves never surfaced.
  #868  
Old 05-09-2018, 12:52 AM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Alpha Twit is so overconfident on the thread rules that he thinks he is the cleverest person on it.
  #869  
Old 05-09-2018, 09:20 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
boson and Alpha Twit and every poster in this thread, on this message board, on the Internet, yeah, even in the universe except me has the cooties.

‘Cuz “circle, circle, dot, dot...”
  #870  
Old 05-09-2018, 09:59 AM
TruCelt TruCelt is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 10,298
Blue Blistering Barnacle has a psychosis named after him: "Barnacle's Delusion." It's a sub-form of delusional parasitosis - but where it manifests by proxy.

Last edited by TruCelt; 05-09-2018 at 10:01 AM.
  #871  
Old 05-09-2018, 10:49 AM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 1,331
TruCelt didn't get the TruCoat even though my boss knocked $100 off the price. Never done that before, dontcha know. Oh geeze.
  #872  
Old 05-09-2018, 09:48 PM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
Whiskey Dickens knows no bounds.
  #873  
Old 05-10-2018, 01:25 AM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Blue Blistering Barnacle gets truly excited when an item is advertised under the rounded dollar. “$24.99? Why, that’s under $25. How could I turn down that deal?”
  #874  
Old 05-10-2018, 12:47 PM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 1,331
boson pronounces every letter in the word "boatswain."

"I was here first, and they're the no talent ass clowns, why should I change?" he's reported as saying.
  #875  
Old 05-10-2018, 01:31 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 75,039
Whiskey Dickens can understand what squirrels are saying quite accurately, but always makes it a point to misquote them when asked to interpret by suburban zoologists.
  #876  
Old 05-11-2018, 12:43 AM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Elendil’s Heir proudly recycles used facial tissues, using a single sheet about 5 times before using them as doll clothing.
  #877  
Old 05-11-2018, 01:21 PM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 1,331
boson has a cross stitch framed and hung in his bathroom that says "it puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again."
  #878  
Old 05-11-2018, 01:30 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 75,039
Whiskey Dickens knows every word of every song on The White Album, but only in High Squirrel.
  #879  
Old 05-12-2018, 01:14 AM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Elendil’s Heir is secretly a fanatic for the band Doug Clark and His Hot Nuts and has never told anyone. Sorry EH.
  #880  
Old 05-12-2018, 09:53 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 46,613
boson has a bucket under his computer desk that he uses so he can spend more time on the SDMB.
  #881  
Old 05-13-2018, 10:39 PM
boson boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: louisiana
Posts: 700
Annie X-mas once used a ballpoint pen to connect the dots on her arm because she thought God sent her a message. The dots spelled out CELERY.
  #882  
Old 05-14-2018, 01:30 AM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 193
boson thinks he'll go real fast if he eats ac-celery.
  #883  
Old 05-14-2018, 09:44 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
When Mr Zox says “X is very useful if your name is Nixie Knox”, I don’t think he means it the same way the rest of us do.
  #884  
Old 05-14-2018, 11:57 AM
cornflakes cornflakes is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Bubbaville
Posts: 4,801
Blue Blistering Barnacle tried to light his farts once. Red Adair was called in to put out the fire. John Wayne starred in the move.
  #885  
Old 05-14-2018, 02:51 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 193
cornflakes hates milk. And sugar.
  #886  
Old 05-14-2018, 11:17 PM
cornflakes cornflakes is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Bubbaville
Posts: 4,801
The Scrabble rule change to allow names and other proper nouns specifically don't allow "ZOX." I don't know the details. I asked my friend at Mattel about it, but he said that it's "something personal" and "the big, big dogs really wanted it."
  #887  
Old 05-15-2018, 06:13 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
cornflakes don’t know much about history, don’t know much biology...
  #888  
Old 05-15-2018, 02:28 PM
davidm davidm is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 11,546
Blue Blistering Barnacle is neither blue nor a barnacle. However, he can cause blisters if you get too close.
  #889  
Old 05-15-2018, 07:05 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 193
davidm peddles lutefisk on downtown streetcorners; he sells it in brown paper bags, and only accepts cash.
  #890  
Old 05-15-2018, 07:32 PM
TruCelt TruCelt is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 10,298
Mr Zox knows perfectly well that it wasn't lutefisk he bought from davidm, and he's been back several times for more.
  #891  
Old 05-15-2018, 07:42 PM
cornflakes cornflakes is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Bubbaville
Posts: 4,801
TruCelt pronounces it SELT on some days, KELT on others....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Blistering Barnacle View Post
cornflakes donít know much about history, donít know much biology...
Been reading my GQ posts, haven't ya?
  #892  
Old 05-15-2018, 08:11 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 193
cornflakes has never eaten crook-neck squash.
  #893  
Old 05-15-2018, 08:32 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 20,977
Zox wasn't a Mr until late in life; no one was sure which of the three genders he was 'til puberty hit.
  #894  
Old 05-16-2018, 11:54 AM
cornflakes cornflakes is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Bubbaville
Posts: 4,801
burpo wanted a lowrider until he found out that he couldn't just order one from the factory.
  #895  
Old 05-16-2018, 01:45 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 193
cornflakes likes to knaw on spruce trees.

Last edited by Mr Zox; 05-16-2018 at 01:45 PM.
  #896  
Old 05-16-2018, 05:27 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 20,977
Mr Zox, evil genius that he is, has somehow caused all of cornflakes' mail to be sent to Battle Creek, Michigan.
  #897  
Old 05-16-2018, 08:59 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 193
burpo the wonder mutt used to live in Cattle Breeks, WY.
  #898  
Old 05-17-2018, 02:07 AM
cornflakes cornflakes is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Bubbaville
Posts: 4,801
Mr Zox ain't got no snap, ain't got no crackle and ain't got no pop.
  #899  
Old 05-17-2018, 08:22 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 46,613
cornflakes follows the Atkins low-carb diet.
  #900  
Old 05-17-2018, 09:13 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,705
Annie-Xmas popularized the Santa Sugar-Cookie Diet.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:06 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017