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  #1551  
Old 10-12-2019, 01:56 PM
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A real beatnik would have put on his sandals and walked/thumbed a ride to the event.

I just bought 8 pairs of underwear and 1 pair of cheap jeans at Walmart. I'm good to go for another decade now.
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  #1552  
Old 10-12-2019, 06:57 PM
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You change underwear once a year and jeans once a decade? You should be declared a toxic Superfund cleanup site! Phew!

Time for challah French toast, best breakfast ever!
  #1553  
Old 10-12-2019, 07:01 PM
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Heathen! Everyone knows waffles with a side of sausage is the best breakfast.

This house is falling apart.
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  #1554  
Old 10-13-2019, 03:52 PM
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nothing you can't fix with a few roofing nails and scrap metal. Get Busy!

I heard there would be sex in my sixties.
  #1555  
Old 10-13-2019, 04:26 PM
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Did your genitals not get the same memo? Also you’re creeping out all the twenty somethings at those clubs, you should know by now.

Got a crick in my neck, should go away with some stretches.
  #1556  
Old 10-14-2019, 04:14 PM
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Hangman says you know what else will go away when you stretch your neck, your life!

Gallows humor is never inappropriate.
  #1557  
Old 10-19-2019, 11:15 AM
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Oh I bet you’re a LAFF RIOT at funerals!

Sad about Elijah Cummings, isn’t it?
  #1558  
Old 10-19-2019, 11:37 AM
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You mean his 2006 election, running unopposed and only getting 98%? If that’s not good enough, move to North Korea.
It’s a beautiful day today. Sunny, not too warm, not too cold.
  #1559  
Old 10-26-2019, 03:12 PM
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Egads have a care! it's only a beautiful day if you get to experience it!

THere are worse smelling things than skunk spray.
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  #1560  
Old 10-26-2019, 11:13 PM
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And it is coming from your shoe rack. Have mercy.

The phlegm in my throat is loosening.
  #1561  
Old 10-27-2019, 12:45 AM
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Swallow it, don't spit on the ground like a classless idiot.

My monitor just died, using an old one with inferior picture.
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  #1562  
Old 10-27-2019, 10:31 AM
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AND too lazy or cheap to buy a new one! What do monitors cost now, 30 bucks? Enough whining and buy one already!

My wife’s knee was hurting so I cooked dinner for us last night.
  #1563  
Old 10-27-2019, 10:54 AM
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So what, you cooked, but did you clean, did you run ice to the knee? golf clap for you.

I ate a caramel filled M&M thinking it was an almond, it turned my smile upside down.
  #1564  
Old 10-27-2019, 07:13 PM
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Next time you should just be thankful you had an M&M.

I just had some ice cream cake, yum!
  #1565  
Old 10-27-2019, 08:40 PM
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For breakfast, lunch and dinner, yuck!

Reading a book in my backyard, looking at mountains in the distance, relaxing.
  #1566  
Old 10-27-2019, 09:15 PM
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I have heard of procrastinators like you.

I am watching the World Series.
  #1567  
Old 10-27-2019, 09:21 PM
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2 zip top o the 4th don't make me CRY

leftover ziti tonight tomorrow beef and green bean stiryfry.
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  #1568  
Old 10-28-2019, 09:25 AM
Annie-Xmas is online now
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You eat dead cows? Yuck!

I put together a great costume for Halloween. I'm going to be a hippie.
  #1569  
Old 10-28-2019, 10:20 PM
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Well you won’t have to practice the vacant stare, will you?

Sometimes, I forget about Thread Games.
  #1570  
Old 10-28-2019, 11:14 PM
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Senility sometimes starts early, see a doctor!

My peppers plant just keeps growing yummy peppers, it’s a gift that keeps on giving!
  #1571  
Old 10-29-2019, 09:26 AM
Annie-Xmas is online now
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And your neighbors have filled several police reports about the demented person who breaks into their houses and leaves bushes of peppers on their kitchen tables (in NJ, we lock our kitchen doors so people don't do this with zucchini).

I just had a great 7-11 pumpkin muffin washed down with a pumpkin latte. I loves me some pumpkin.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 10-29-2019 at 09:26 AM.
  #1572  
Old 10-30-2019, 04:34 PM
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You think they clean those machines nightly and you like what is basically fancy sand and laxatives in your cuppa, enjoy, urp.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
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  #1573  
Old 10-30-2019, 05:33 PM
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When it does, I'll let you shovel.

I hate snow.
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  #1574  
Old 10-30-2019, 07:42 PM
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well then do you prefer hail, fire or plague instead?

I'd rather do the mambo.
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  #1575  
Old 10-30-2019, 09:04 PM
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I’d rather not watch THAT (unless I need a good laugh)!

I’m hearing Russian sailors curse, on the news, right now.
  #1576  
Old 11-02-2019, 09:25 AM
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Nyet my Zho-pa

I left a tropical plant outside to die.
  #1577  
Old 11-02-2019, 09:29 AM
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I bet you're the type to overfeed your gold fish, on purpose.

It was still dark at 7 am.
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  #1578  
Old 11-02-2019, 09:48 AM
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Let me introduce you to this amazing invention called a light switch.

My neighbor burns his garbage, but its downwind from me :shrug:
  #1579  
Old 11-02-2019, 01:16 PM
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But HE’S downwind from YOU, pretty bad that he has to burn garbage to block YOUR smell!

My dog likes his squeaky chew toy.
  #1580  
Old 11-02-2019, 01:43 PM
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My dogs like toys, too, but I didnít hear you offer to get any new ones for them. Thatís rather selfish.

I had yesterday off work, but I spent the day working.
  #1581  
Old 11-02-2019, 02:40 PM
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Searching for online porn is not working.

Just got back from grocery shopping.
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  #1582  
Old 11-02-2019, 06:08 PM
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Well don't look at me to help you unload your groceries, sheesh.


It's a 4 weddings and a funeral type day.
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  #1583  
Old 11-02-2019, 07:06 PM
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Beats me what kind of day that is, but it doesn’t make you sound like a frigging ray of sunshine! I’m picturing you at a wedding saying “Gee, wish I were at a funeral right now!” Thanks, Captain Bringdown.

My wife wants me to quit Facebook and go on Twitter.
  #1584  
Old 11-03-2019, 04:09 PM
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She's co-dependant in your social media addiction, get a grip!

House prices are dropping.
  #1585  
Old 11-04-2019, 05:54 PM
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Do you think a buyer’s market will allow you to dump your ramshackle hut on some unsuspecting rube before the bottom drops out? Sounds a little desperate to me!

Saw Tower of Power in concert over the weekend, they still deliver cool funky sounds.
  #1586  
Old 11-05-2019, 08:06 PM
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burn this mother up! give up the funk!

I think I'm going to Katmandu
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  #1587  
Old 11-08-2019, 12:44 AM
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Strong shit, huh? Can you get me some?

Got a staff meeting in the morning. We'll have bagels, coffee, and tea.
  #1588  
Old 11-10-2019, 10:24 AM
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where's the fruit the yougurt the cream cheese, how can you function at all on just bagels coffee and tea?

pay day is delayed again thanks Nov 11
  #1589  
Old 11-10-2019, 11:45 AM
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Thousands of people died on that day, leading to wars that killed thousands more, and you're complaining about a slight delay in your paycheck? Some people.

Drinking cola with home made banana syrup.
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  #1590  
Old 11-10-2019, 12:56 PM
Annie-Xmas is online now
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Great! A drug reference and a penis reference, all in one drink.

I returned two books to my library today.
  #1591  
Old 11-11-2019, 01:28 PM
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OH BOY! That was THRILLING! I just BET you MADE the librarian’s day!

Just saw my daughter in a professional children’s show, on stage, good for her, cute for the kids!
  #1592  
Old 11-11-2019, 06:41 PM
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Oh so you're the guy who ignored the rules about no video recordings of the show, bootlegger!

I should learn how to darn socks.
  #1593  
Old Yesterday, 04:58 AM
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Too cheap to buy new ones? Also, you might get fewer holes in the toes if you trimmed your toe nails once in a while.

Winter's early.
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  #1594  
Old Yesterday, 09:30 AM
Annie-Xmas is online now
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What? Winter started a dozen days ago according to the Celtic pagan calendar, which puts the solstices and equinoxes in the middle of the season. But all you ignorant people know about is the "standard" calendar.

I dug out my winter coat, hat, scarf and mittens in honor of the beginning of the Celtic pagan winter.
  #1595  
Old Yesterday, 02:50 PM
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Skulking off to do Lord knows what strange rituals with your Wiccan friends.

Gotta change my tie, this one has a stain.
  #1596  
Old Yesterday, 05:53 PM
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I suppose that will lead to a shirt and sock change too, late again!

I don't care for red ties.
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