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  #101  
Old 11-08-2019, 06:29 PM
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Siamese cats are sleek, lithe, two-toned beauties. Velvet brown noses and ears. Flashy blue eyes. Graceful as Anna Pavlova.


(I'm required, by contract to tell them they beautiful everyday.)
  #102  
Old 11-08-2019, 07:13 PM
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Siamese cats are sleek, lithe, two-toned beauties. Velvet brown noses and ears. Flashy blue eyes. Graceful as Anna Pavlova.


(I'm required, by contract to tell them they beautiful everyday.)
Who are you, and what have you done with Beckdawrek?
  #103  
Old 11-08-2019, 07:27 PM
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Who are you, and what have you done with Beckdawrek?
Shhhh! I'm undercover
  #104  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:53 AM
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My beautiful Siameezers have been low key today. Slightly disconcerting. I'm a bit jumpy.
Bear walked in my bedroom and sat 2 feet into the room. He was scanning, I believe looking for ghosts and spirits. Meeko ran in jumped up on the bed and onto the headboard. She turned exactly 3 turns and laid down on her bed up there. Purring at top decibels. Bear slunk in looking under the bed. I got down and looked under there. (I'm thinking centipedes, ) But, nope. Under my bed, halfway across, a few dust bunnies in the way, was a sweetgum ball. I reached under and got it. A perfect specimen of a seed pod of the Sweetgum tree.
By this time Bear is on the headboard, as well. He's sitting upright. I held the ball up to him. He looked at it. Sniffed the air. Took one turn. I said "Bear, did you bring this sweetgum ball in my bedroom?" He sat back down, put his paw out toward the dangling ball in my fingers. I repeated the question. He said (I know what y'all are thinking, cuckoo beck, cat's don't talk) he said "No!" In perfect English. I asked him to explain himself. He made another turn and laid down. No explanation.
He knew that Sweetgum ball was under my bed. He absolutely knows how it got there.
You peeps are sitting in the comfort of your homes and offices. You think the important message is the continued mystery of the Sweetgum ball saga. Or the claim I made that Bear speaks words. (You'll have to trust me on this).
That's not it. The important thing here is; My beloved Siamese, Bear, finicky, bossy, snooty and loud Bear lied. He LIED to me. He absolutely knows how that ball got under my bed. And all the others preceding it. Yep. He knows. The little liar.
  #105  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:35 AM
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Beck darling, you should know by now that cats don't lie, they can't. But their perception of reality both in actual senses and how they mentally reference reality are so alien to us.

Siamese may be possessed by ancient asian Royalty, but that's no reason for taking the abuse, Beck, you need help
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  #106  
Old 11-09-2019, 08:57 AM
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An, intervention? Perhaps.

Me and Bear (Bear and I?) resumed our conversation at breakfast time. Over his plate of shrimpy-shrimp pate' he most vehemently denied knowledge of said Sweetgum ball. Meeko was oddly silent. Averting her eyes if I addressed her. She's an accomplice, no doubt.
  #107  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:00 AM
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Sounds like a cat-spiracy to me!


~VOW
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  #108  
Old 11-09-2019, 01:36 PM
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They're trying to get me committed into a padded cell.
Listen up, Mr. Smartypants Bear, no-one, NO ONE will put up with your crap like I do. You're dragging your little Sister Meeko into this as well!!

(Actually they are being good today)
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Old 11-09-2019, 01:46 PM
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Nah, probly don't need an intervention. Ya just gotta learn how to speak to them on their level. Frinstince, Miss Blueberry Muffin Fancy Pants is a translation, if I spoke pidgin Feline, with a lot of tansliteration her name is BluBerrypie Face Muffin Miss pants Fancied up. Its kinda like they percieve and think and speak 4 dimensional or something
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  #110  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:02 PM
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Nah, probly don't need an intervention. Ya just gotta learn how to speak to them on their level. Frinstince, Miss Blueberry Muffin Fancy Pants is a translation, if I spoke pidgin Feline, with a lot of tansliteration her name is BluBerrypie Face Muffin Miss pants Fancied up. Its kinda like they percieve and think and speak 4 dimensional or something
Dork, honey...you need help, as well
  #111  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:48 PM
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Christ, now we need two butterfly nets. Perhaps the Moderators have some. They must deal with this manner of thing quite often.
  #112  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:53 PM
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Can't speak for Dork. I'll go quietly, though.

Carni, if you recieve a box in the mail with holes poked in it, no worries. It's from me. Hope you enjoy.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 11-09-2019 at 02:55 PM.
  #113  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:56 PM
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Can't speak for Dork. I'll go quietly, though.

Carni, if you recieve a box in the mail with holes poked in it, no worries. It's from me. Hope you enjoy.
Most of them say that, but pull a screaming fit when they get into the lobby.
  #114  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:12 PM
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Most of them say that, but pull a screaming fit when they get into the lobby.
Crazy is as Crazy does

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 11-09-2019 at 03:12 PM.
  #115  
Old 11-09-2019, 04:02 PM
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I believe we've all learned something today.
  #116  
Old 11-09-2019, 06:52 PM
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Yes. You've learned that me and Beck might have a few dust bunnies in the attic. You have also learned (and rejected) the notion that hoomans can speak feline. All it takes is a little time and paying attention.

We ain't crazy y'alls is the crazy ones.


crazy is knowing what the russian's wife said before it was revealed in the movie
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Last edited by DorkVader; 11-09-2019 at 06:53 PM.
  #117  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:26 PM
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Yes. You've learned that me and Beck might have a few dust bunnies in the attic. You have also learned (and rejected) the notion that hoomans can speak feline. All it takes is a little time and paying attention.

We ain't crazy y'alls is the crazy ones.


crazy is knowing what the russian's wife said before it was revealed in the movie
Yeah. What he said.
  #118  
Old 11-10-2019, 01:11 AM
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No sweet gum balls tonight.
There was a bit of a kerfuffle at nighty-night snack time. Bear was trying to theive Miss Meekos treat. She eats slower. He does this quite a bit. I have to stay on top of it. I scolded him. He hissed at me.
I told him just for that sass talk I wasn't gonna dry towels tonight. I lasted about 4 minutes of his yowling. Yep, you guessed it. Dryer went on. I caved. No wonder he doesn't mind. I'm weak willed.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 11-10-2019 at 01:11 AM.
  #119  
Old 11-10-2019, 06:45 AM
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He HISSED at you!?!?

Oh hell no Beck. It's too late now, for that particular incident, but you cannot let cats do that! ESPECIALLY a tom, cats tend to be matriarchal in nature within individual conspiracies by my observation and a few documentaries I've seen confirming this. When he hisses at you, you HAVE to put him in his place.
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  #120  
Old 11-10-2019, 04:36 PM
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He HISSED at you!?!?

Oh hell no Beck. It's too late now, for that particular incident, but you cannot let cats do that! ESPECIALLY a tom, cats tend to be matriarchal in nature within individual conspiracies by my observation and a few documentaries I've seen confirming this. When he hisses at you, you HAVE to put him in his place.
He's been very good today. I had both cats in the chair with me. We had a little talk. I told them how beautiful and lovely they were and how behaviour effects how they appear, to others. They were not moved to talk to me.
I reminded them I'm going in the hospital tomorrow. I need them to act normally and not fuss about food. And I'll be home soon. Bear blinkie eyed me and Meeko purred real loud. They listened. I'm convinced they understand. They're clinging to me like magnets. DIL and Grandwreks will be coming in to see about them several times. I've written out their schedule for her.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 11-10-2019 at 04:38 PM.
  #121  
Old 11-11-2019, 09:21 AM
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DIL and Grandwreks will be coming in to see about them several times. I've written out their schedule for her.
Mrs. Plant (v.2.0) left for a dog show. I was given a list of how many ounces each dog was to be fed.

I lined my charges up and spoke to them:
"I have here a concise list of how much food each of you is scheduled to receive."
A tossed the list into the waste basket.
"I have big dog bowls, medium sized dog bowls, and small dog bowls. As of now, each of you is a big dog. Your continued status as a big dog is inversely proportional to how much you mess with me. Do you understand?"
Things went well.
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