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Old 11-09-2019, 01:56 PM
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Diamonds Are Forever


'My name is Bond - James Bond'. I have tried this line at various venues and countries-it results in a smile...sometimes
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Old 11-09-2019, 01:59 PM
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Ooh, sparklies.

Did you say something?
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Old 11-09-2019, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Cabin_Fever View Post
'My name is Bond - James Bond'. I have tried this line at various venues and countries-it results in a smile...sometimes
Is it true?
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Old 11-10-2019, 11:39 AM
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You need to say it like he does in "Doctor No", that'll work.

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Old 11-10-2019, 12:41 PM
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I once worked with a guy named Tom Bond. I asked him if he ever introduced himself by saying "My name is Bond, Tom Bond." He said no. I think you don't deserve to have that name if you don't use it properly.
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Old 11-10-2019, 01:02 PM
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I once worked with a guy named Tom Bond. I asked him if he ever introduced himself by saying "My name is Bond, Tom Bond." He said no. I think you don't deserve to have that name if you don't use it properly.
At the very least, hire a petite brunette to constantly announce you. ‘A man comes,’ she could declare; ‘he travels quickly; he has purpose; he comes over water; he travels with others; he will oppose; he brings violence and destruction.’
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Old 11-10-2019, 02:14 PM
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I've a cousin who does the "My name is..." gag quite well but she's in community theatre and standup.
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Old 11-10-2019, 02:39 PM
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I'm sure Bill Saluga has trouble with that line.
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Old 11-10-2019, 03:15 PM
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My previous passport ended in -007. When asked for my passport number, I would always pronounce it "double-oh-seven." Sadly, my present one is more prosaic.

The original James Bond, from whom Fleming took the name, was an ornithologist at the Philadelphia Academy of Natural Sciences. I once had a grant from the James Bond Fund, allowing me to tell people I was funded by James Bond.

Last edited by Colibri; 11-10-2019 at 03:18 PM.
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Old 11-10-2019, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by markn+ View Post
I once worked with a guy named Tom Bond. I asked him if he ever introduced himself by saying "My name is Bond, Tom Bond." He said no. I think you don't deserve to have that name if you don't use it properly.
I once met a young (late teens) chap whose name was James Bond. He was quite a slight, shy bloke who I sensed had had so much ribbing over the years I made a special effort not to acknowledge the elephant-name in the room. Given he couldn't have been born any earlier than 1985, his parents had no excuse.
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Old 11-10-2019, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by mixdenny View Post
You need to say it like he does in "Doctor No", that'll work.

Dennis
Looking like a young Sean Connery probably also helps.
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Old 11-11-2019, 10:04 AM
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I didn't know there was a pool down there.
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Old 11-11-2019, 11:59 AM
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My cellphone number is (xxx)xxx-x666. I've gotten very good at giving my number to accentuate the sixes. A surprising number of jaws drop.
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Old 11-11-2019, 12:23 PM
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"Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?"

"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."
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Old 11-11-2019, 12:26 PM
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“This never happened to the other fella.”
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Old 11-11-2019, 04:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cabin_Fever View Post
'My name is Bond - James Bond'. I have tried this line at various venues and countries-it results in a smile...sometimes
From my experience, it's never the mature, well-adjusted people who smile.

Seriously, my name fits an old Monty Python-esque routine, and I thought it was soooo clever to adapt it when I introduced myself. As soon as I gained a modicum of self-awareness, I realized that people were smiling the way you would at a frat boy punching your shoulder and laughing "Howzit hangin', workin' hard or hardly workin'?"

So I'd say if your name really is James Bond, give it up. Maybe go by Jim, or J. Robert Bond.

And, wow, if your name isn't...
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Old 11-11-2019, 04:43 PM
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Originally Posted by glee View Post
"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."
Now that's a line I have used whenever someone phrases a question with "Do you expect. . ."

It gets a response, all right. But never the one I hope for.
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