Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-02-2007, 11:33 PM
Leaffan's Avatar
Leaffan is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 24,729

Tom Cruise's $10M Survival Bunker


From here.

Quote:
Tom Cruise is planning to build a $10 million bunker underneath his Colorado mansion in preparation for the end of the world, according to a bizarre new report. The Top Gun star and Scientology nut is said to be taking the costly precaution in order to out-smart an evil intergalactic ruler called Xenu who, he believes, will attack Earth. A source told Star magazine: "Tom is planning to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride estate.
Imagine, building an edifice worth millions of dollars, in which you hide and pray, to protect yourself from an entity who is supposedly returning to Earth to weed out the good from the bad.

I've never heard of such a preposterous scheme in my life. What would happen if other people started believing in such a ridiculous fantasy?

Last edited by Leaffan; 10-02-2007 at 11:34 PM.
  #2  
Old 10-03-2007, 01:53 AM
appleciders is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 6,436
Why is he hiding, rather than trying to move himself into the ranks of the good, where he'd be safe? Or is that too much work?
  #3  
Old 10-03-2007, 01:59 AM
Randy Seltzer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ravenswood (Chicago)
Posts: 1,988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan
Imagine, building an edifice worth millions of dollars, in which you hide and pray, to protect yourself from an entity who is supposedly returning to Earth to weed out the good from the bad.
Catholics have been doing it for thousands* of years. You've given a perfect description of a Cathedral.

Or am I being wooshed?

Last edited by Randy Seltzer; 10-03-2007 at 01:59 AM. Reason: *Sorry: "hundreds"
  #4  
Old 10-03-2007, 02:00 AM
Larry Borgia's Avatar
Larry Borgia is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 10,675
Quote:
Originally Posted by appleciders
Why is he hiding, rather than trying to move himself into the ranks of the good, where he'd be safe? Or is that too much work?

Xenu's not actually going to help the good. This is Xenu.

Last edited by Larry Borgia; 10-03-2007 at 02:01 AM.
  #5  
Old 10-03-2007, 04:01 AM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 22,356
I pity anyone who dares to fart in it.
  #6  
Old 10-03-2007, 04:14 AM
DMark is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Chi NYC Berlin LA Vegas
Posts: 13,728
I am torn - do I believe STAR Magazine, or do I believe a crazed, rich Scientologist would do such a thing?

Yep, I believe Tom Cruise is building it.

I hear he picked the bunker staff from guys he met at Gold's Gym.
  #7  
Old 10-03-2007, 06:13 AM
An Arky is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 8,333
I think Cruise is crazy, but heck, if I had a bajillion dollars, I'd probably have a bunker somewhere, just in case. But my "just in case" is vastly different from his, I guar-on-tee you.
  #8  
Old 10-03-2007, 06:26 AM
Malodorous is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,738
Mormons are supposed to take similar precautions for the end of the world, aren't they? Granted I don't know if most of them put it 10 million into it, but I seem to recall people pointing out various structures as percautions for the apocalypse when I was growing up in Utah.

We all laugh now, but after World War III, the only ones left will be the Scientologists and the Mormons, ready to duke it out over the remains of the US

Last edited by Malodorous; 10-03-2007 at 06:26 AM.
  #9  
Old 10-03-2007, 07:58 AM
SenorBeef is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 28,311
That's awesome. If I was rich, I'd totally build my own bunker and pay ex-special ops types to teach me how to kill 3 people at once using only a spoon. When the zombie uprising happened, I would be king.
  #10  
Old 10-03-2007, 08:09 AM
LateComer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Homer City, PA
Posts: 1,381
Would he have to worry if he was "clear?" Work harder, Tom.
  #11  
Old 10-03-2007, 08:09 AM
Rilchiam is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Posts: 16,163
Quote:
Originally Posted by DMark
I am torn - do I believe STAR Magazine, or do I believe a crazed, rich Scientologist would do such a thing?

Yep, I believe Tom Cruise is building it.

I hear he picked the bunker staff from guys he met at Gold's Gym.
Where did you hear that? Or am I whooshed too?

Because I'm starting to wonder about these stories. ISTM that Clambo is occupying the same space Michael Jackson did in the late '80s and early '90s, before the first accusation. He came off as erratic, eccentric, disturbed -- although not at that time a danger to others -- and in general, not sharing the same reality as the rest of the world.

And then years later, I found out that many of those stories were bogus. Elephant Man's bones? He was never going to do that. Hyperbaric chamber? He told his people to circulate that story, and he'd never stuck a toe into the thing. Constantly trolling for attention, and what people didn't know at the time was that a much more disturbing issue was behind the smoke screen.

But it got him a lot of free publicity. And so does Clambo when one of these stories circulate. Add in the fact that there's speculation that Suri is not his, nor Katie's either*, and I'm shuddering to think what this behavior might be misdirection for. Or perhaps it's not misdirection; just attention whoring. But in any case, it sounds deliberately outrageous.

*Her supposedly pregnant abdomen changed size and shape randomly, and did not appear to be consistent with the estimated date of conception. Add in the "silent birthing" resulting in no one having witnessed the birth, and I'm open to the theory that Suri is the offspring of a nameless Scieno, who can't claim her child because according to the rules, they're not supposed to reproduce. Yeah, I know, Travolta. There would be exceptions for the famous and the higher-ups.

ETA: And is the bunker just for him and his family? Or can other Scienos join them? Not everyone has $10 million to burn on something like this.

Last edited by Rilchiam; 10-03-2007 at 08:12 AM.
  #12  
Old 10-03-2007, 08:15 AM
Paul in Qatar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Dammam, Saudi Arabia
Posts: 12,998
My only thought is someday this place will be listed for sale in the local Thrifty Nickel, "7 Bed, 8 1/2 bath, fml dng rm, bmb shltr, Must see!"
  #13  
Old 10-03-2007, 08:48 AM
SnakesCatLady is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Columbus, Georgia
Posts: 6,934
Scientologists aren't supposed to reproduce?

Learn something weird every day.
  #14  
Old 10-03-2007, 09:50 AM
Cluricaun is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Elgin IL
Posts: 8,540
Hell, why build a bunker when there's already bunkers available that provide way more protection than anything you're going to have built for just $10m?
  #15  
Old 10-03-2007, 09:55 AM
Leaffan's Avatar
Leaffan is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 24,729
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randy Seltzer
Catholics have been doing it for thousands* of years. You've given a perfect description of a Cathedral.

Or am I being wooshed?
There was indeed some intentional double entendres in my OP.
  #16  
Old 10-03-2007, 10:16 AM
RandMcnally is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 7,740
If I had the money I'd have a huge bunker myself, stocked with all kinds of food and various tools to farm if necessary, along with various types of seeds etc.

Hell, I plan on moving to Montana or somewhere else up north 'cuz if the government falls there'd be a better chance of survival up there instead of in California.
  #17  
Old 10-03-2007, 10:17 AM
Robot Arm is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Medford, MA
Posts: 23,569
Tom Cruise travels all around the world. Does he think that the Scientological apocalypse will happen with enough warning for him to get back to Colorado?

For that matter, wouldn't someone with the ability to travel interstellar distances probably be able to muster enough technology to dig him up?
  #18  
Old 10-03-2007, 10:24 AM
Pushkin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Belfast Northern Ireland
Posts: 6,625
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakesCatLady
Scientologists aren't supposed to reproduce?

Learn something weird every day.
So they're a bit like vampires and werewolves, only able to spread by biting/converting new people. Makes them just a little bit sicker in my eyes.
  #19  
Old 10-03-2007, 10:28 AM
Push You Down is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 6,311
You know.... if I had that kind of money... Fuck y'all, I'm building an emergency bunker.

Is this any different than my piddly ass emergency suppy box, that would get supplied for a week in the event of a natural disaster? Not really.
  #20  
Old 10-03-2007, 05:48 PM
Swallowed My Cellphone is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: 5th Dimension
Posts: 6,126
< Hijack Re: Michael Jackson >

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rilchiam
Hyperbaric chamber? He told his people to circulate that story, and he'd never stuck a toe into the thing.
That's not quite right. He didn't tell anyone to circulate the photos and he did climb into a hyperbaric chamber. It ws part of an enormous donation ($5 million) he made to a hospital, the Brothman Burn Center, in addition to the $1.5 million he donated that came from the out-of-court stettlement with Pepsi for the accident that burned him while doing a Pepsi commercial.

On a lark, he climbed into the hyperbaric chamber while he was touring the facility. Someone took his photo and sold it to the tabloids.

< /hijack >

If the Tom Cruise allegations are flase, that's still not a good sign. It means that your public persona is considered so off-kilter that such ridiculous behavior is seen as credible.

Last edited by Swallowed My Cellphone; 10-03-2007 at 05:49 PM.
  #21  
Old 10-03-2007, 06:06 PM
Marley23 is offline
I Am the One Who Bans
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 78,234
I have trouble believing this only because I didn't know Scientologists believed in any kind of apocalypse/antichrist, Xenu-coming-back scenario.
  #22  
Old 10-03-2007, 06:30 PM
iamthewalrus(:3= is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 12,109
"... If you had Tom Cruise's troubles, you might be Tom Cruise Crazy too..."
  #23  
Old 10-03-2007, 08:53 PM
Equipoise's Avatar
Equipoise is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,104
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakesCatLady
Scientologists aren't supposed to reproduce?

Learn something weird every day.
Not average $cienos, they are encouraged to reproduce to populate the world with $cienos brainwashed from birth (a moment of silence for Juliette Lewis, Lisa Marie Presley, Giovanni Ribisi and Beck, for starters).

It's members of the elite "Sea Org" who are encouraged not to have children. Abortions and farming existing kids out are very common (and adoptions, such as Tom and Nicole's two older kids). These people have signed an exclusive "Billion Year Contract" (look it up) to give 100% of their time and energy (and, oh, money) to $cientology.

Last edited by Equipoise; 10-03-2007 at 08:57 PM.
  #24  
Old 10-03-2007, 09:26 PM
Sitnam is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 9,131
Soooo....does Katie Holmes really believe this crap also?
  #25  
Old 10-03-2007, 09:37 PM
RickJay is offline
Charter Jays Fan
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Oakville, Canada
Posts: 41,810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pushkin
So they're a bit like vampires and werewolves, only able to spread by biting/converting new people. Makes them just a little bit sicker in my eyes.
I'm not seeing the difference between them and the popular religion that practices magical cannibalism, likely in your town and most every other.

Not that Scientology isn't crazy, but (a) the story sounds bogus as all hell and (b) it's no crazier than most religions.
  #26  
Old 10-03-2007, 10:27 PM
well he's back is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,491
Not to turn this into a complete pit thread, but I still contend Scientology is different from other religions because you have to pay for your enlightenment. Most others are free.

Anyway, whether y'all agree with the idea of building a bunker or not, it sure seems like there are better, more useful ways to blow through 10 mil.
  #27  
Old 10-03-2007, 11:28 PM
Equipoise's Avatar
Equipoise is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,104
Quote:
Originally Posted by RickJay
Not that Scientology isn't crazy, but (a) the story sounds bogus as all hell and (b) it's no crazier than most religions.
Don't know if you're talking about Cruise's bunker, or the bit about not having children. The bunker, I have no idea (though it wouldn't surprise me, they're really freaked out by Xenu and/or if the world is destroyed by some other means, they would certainly want to rise up out of the ashes and take over) but the children, yes. It's not bogus, but it is confined pretty much to Sea Org members. Just search for "Scientology abortions Sea Org" and/or "Scientology Sea Org children" for some interesting reading.
  #28  
Old 10-04-2007, 01:17 AM
Seven is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,124
Quote:
Originally Posted by iamthewalrus(:3=
"... If you had Tom Cruise's troubles, you might be Tom Cruise Crazy too..."
HEY! That's my reply

Now I've no reason to post in this thread.
  #29  
Old 10-04-2007, 03:24 AM
LiveOnAPlane is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Huntsville, AL
Posts: 2,569
The fly in the ointment is Xenu is targeting the bunkers FIRST.

It's all part of the Master Plan. Guess he didn't read that far.
  #30  
Old 10-04-2007, 11:33 AM
Wile E is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 11,853
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robot Arm
Tom Cruise travels all around the world. Does he think that the Scientological apocalypse will happen with enough warning for him to get back to Colorado?
...
That was my thought as well. I guess the next step in crazy would be for him to become a hermit, never leave his bunker and keep his urine and toenail clippings in jars.
  #31  
Old 10-04-2007, 11:45 AM
rhythmonly is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 526
How can a person be a Scientologist, and still have ten million bucks to spare?
  #32  
Old 10-04-2007, 12:32 PM
BMax is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Salt Lake County
Posts: 1,809
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveOnAPlane
The fly in the ointment is Xenu is targeting the bunkers FIRST.

It's all part of the Master Plan. Guess he didn't read that far.
I think they reveal that one at the highest of all levels, after they've extracted all the money they can possible get from someone.
  #33  
Old 10-04-2007, 01:20 PM
Roboto is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Venice, CA
Posts: 301
Quote:
Originally Posted by well he's back
Not to turn this into a complete pit thread, but I still contend Scientology is different from other religions because you have to pay for your enlightenment. Most others are free.
I know you qualified your statement . . . I just can't help but point out that having been raised Catholic, no money was required to be a member of the parish . . . but I remember the some sermons in which the priests preached that you really should earmark at least 10% of your income to give to the church. I always found that concerning.
  #34  
Old 10-05-2007, 12:38 AM
straight man is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In my foreign homeland
Posts: 1,667
a) Roboto, we both know that's not the same thing; and I have never seen a case of individual pressure applied, much less the true pay-to-play practiced by Scientology;

b) AFAIK, the Catholic church has never tried to infiltrate the US government to destroy documentation, or in general acted as a sort of mafia. (The paedophelia scandals came almost sort of close if you look at them funny.)

c) Cathedrals make really shitty fortresses.

d) Everyone in this forum would probably agree that people at different levels of the Catholic hierarchy believe roughly the same thing, and the beliefs of the top leaders are certainly not a secret. Scientology is exactly the opposite.

Sorry guys, but it seems pretty obvious to me that Scientology isn't really comparable to Catholicism. Hell, it doesn't necessarily qualify as a religion at all (different countries have different things to say on the matter.)
__________________
"...the serious competition is always for the role of straight man." -Richard Russo
  #35  
Old 10-05-2007, 12:44 PM
Roboto is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Venice, CA
Posts: 301
Quote:
Originally Posted by straight man
a) Roboto, we both know that's not the same thing; and I have never seen a case of individual pressure applied, much less the true pay-to-play practiced by Scientology.
Well . . . it's pressure to give money to a religious organization. I'd say it's pretty similar. Priests literally tell the congregation that they are obligated to pay 10% of their income to the church. Plus, I had already referenced your qualification.
  #36  
Old 10-05-2007, 01:23 PM
ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Humboldt County, CA
Posts: 6,339
I wouldn't be surprised if he was building such a facility. I've been by the Cult of Scientology since they constructed a vault near my hometown back in the early 80s.

As I've posted many times in the past, they certainly picked an interesting spot considering the earthquake activity in the area. The location of this particular vault is smack in the middle (onshore) of the most dense areas of quake activity on this map.

I'm fairly sure the only media stories I've read indicate that this vault is for preservation of records and Hubbard's original writings. But...I've personally seen vans bearing a logo that included "cryogen" driving out on those back country roads in the middle of the night. I'm just sayin'.
  #37  
Old 10-05-2007, 01:46 PM
Marley23 is offline
I Am the One Who Bans
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 78,234
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveOnAPlane
The fly in the ointment is Xenu is targeting the bunkers FIRST.
But I was going to break ground on my bunker this week! I already had the sign made up. Guess I'll start praying to Flash Gordon instead.
  #38  
Old 11-01-2019, 05:05 AM
Broomstick's Avatar
Broomstick is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 29,190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roboto View Post
I know you qualified your statement . . . I just can't help but point out that having been raised Catholic, no money was required to be a member of the parish . . . but I remember the some sermons in which the priests preached that you really should earmark at least 10% of your income to give to the church. I always found that concerning.
A few years ago I was made aware of some local Protestant churches in these parts that require members to set up a direct deposit of 10% of their paychecks into the church's account. The Catholics ask but I'm not aware of them heavily enforcing the contributions. These other guys make it a requirement.
  #39  
Old 11-01-2019, 05:36 AM
Asuka is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malodorous View Post
Mormons are supposed to take similar precautions for the end of the world, aren't they? Granted I don't know if most of them put it 10 million into it, but I seem to recall people pointing out various structures as percautions for the apocalypse when I was growing up in Utah.

We all laugh now, but after World War III, the only ones left will be the Scientologists and the Mormons, ready to duke it out over the remains of the US
In the Doom novelizations the only people to come out relatively unscathed after the literal Hell invades Earth post-apocalpyse are Utah Mormons, thanks to their survival bunkers/stockpiles and their huge Arsenal's of guns.
  #40  
Old 11-01-2019, 05:46 AM
Unreconstructed Man is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 374
If someone is worth more than exactly three million dollars, I assume they have a crazy doomsday bunker until they prove otherwise.
  #41  
Old 11-01-2019, 06:51 AM
Chronos's Avatar
Chronos is offline
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 85,514
[Moderating]
It was a troll, not Broomstick, who bumped this thread, so no zombie jokes, please.
  #42  
Old 11-01-2019, 08:21 AM
manson1972's Avatar
manson1972 is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 12,386
Did Cruise ever end up building that bunker?
  #43  
Old 11-01-2019, 12:15 PM
pool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Inside
Posts: 4,619
You know a $10 Million survival bunker actually sounds pretty cool.
__________________
"You can do anything you set your mind to...But money helps"
  #44  
Old 11-01-2019, 12:42 PM
Broomstick's Avatar
Broomstick is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 29,190
Sure, it sounds great - until the ravening hordes of radiation/disease/other riddled survivors find your ventilation outlets and start dropping smoke bombs down them, or just decide to wait you out in a siege, or, if you able to stay in there for years, it gives the outsiders the leisure to burrow in from the outside, basically opening the box with tasty treats inside.
  #45  
Old 11-01-2019, 01:57 PM
Sunny Daze's Avatar
Sunny Daze is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Bay Area Urban Sprawl
Posts: 13,001
I'm with pool. I'd like a bunker right about now. Peace and quiet. Bliss.
  #46  
Old 11-01-2019, 02:26 PM
kayaker's Avatar
kayaker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Rural Western PA
Posts: 33,080
If I had a bunker, I'd outfit it with bunk-beds and have Archie Bunker's 8x10 hanging next to Wendell Pierce's.
  #47  
Old 11-01-2019, 03:25 PM
Trancephalic's Avatar
Trancephalic is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,022
man xenu is taking his sweet time, huh?
  #48  
Old 11-01-2019, 03:32 PM
Folly's Avatar
Folly is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Chicago! (no more burbs)
Posts: 2,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
Did Cruise ever end up building that bunker?
Doesn't seem like it, or at least he apparently tried to sell in 2014 without touting in extra bunkerage. Other googling suggests he tried to sell for years without success though.

https://www.curbed.com/2014/10/30/10...-home-for-sale
  #49  
Old 11-01-2019, 03:32 PM
bucketybuck is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ireland
Posts: 3,227
I'd like to join the queue of people saying that if I had Tom Cruise money, damn straight I would be building random cool shit like fully kitted out super secret survival bunkers and secret doors and tunnels in my mansion. What the hell else is all that money for?
  #50  
Old 11-06-2019, 09:15 PM
Sunny Daze's Avatar
Sunny Daze is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Bay Area Urban Sprawl
Posts: 13,001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Folly View Post
Doesn't seem like it, or at least he apparently tried to sell in 2014 without touting in extra bunkerage. Other googling suggests he tried to sell for years without success though.

https://www.curbed.com/2014/10/30/10...-home-for-sale
I have *checks pockets, then couch* $5.77 that I can pay right now. Cold hard cash. Tom, whaddya say?
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:51 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017