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  #42751  
Old 11-06-2019, 08:41 PM
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For only $19.99, I can teach you powerful anti-Trump spells and curses that will rob him of his cognition, cogency, ability to tell right from wrong and force him to embarrass himself in public. Weekly results guaranteed, or triple your money back !
Can you make water wet, too?
  #42752  
Old 11-06-2019, 09:07 PM
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You need to sign up at your local public library. I’ve been getting lessons since early 2017.

Hey, what’s that in your ear? Look, a nickel!
Everyone, please. Do not burn the witch.

I need these nickels.
  #42753  
Old 11-06-2019, 10:22 PM
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Tom Cotton suggests that the US Army needs to invade Mexico to protect Americans.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/s...vasion-mexico?
  #42754  
Old 11-06-2019, 10:54 PM
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This is the plan; use the DoJ as a weapon

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/n...l-william-barr
  #42755  
Old 11-06-2019, 10:56 PM
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Tom Cotton suggests that the US Army needs to invade Mexico to protect Americans.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/s...vasion-mexico?
This is why they must be sent to education camps when it's over; no compromise, just education.
  #42756  
Old 11-06-2019, 10:58 PM
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Tom Cotton suggests that the US Army needs to invade Mexico to protect Americans.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/s...vasion-mexico?
What I said in the Failed State thread applies to Cotton...

Will he welcome Mexican and German troops to fight our white nationalists since both countries had citizens murdered in El Paso last August?

Last edited by jasg; 11-06-2019 at 10:58 PM.
  #42757  
Old 11-06-2019, 11:28 PM
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Tom Cotton suggests that the US Army needs to invade Mexico to protect Americans.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/s...vasion-mexico?
Funny, I don't recall Cotton having this sort of reaction to the luring of Jamal Khashoggi into a trap that lead to his assassination. Where was his outrage against Saudi Arabia? He was only troubled by that, and wanted an investigation to be run and completed before taking any action. But hey, that was a murder directed by the head of a foreign government who is best buds with the first son-in-law, not a random murder by a bunch of drug cartels. Obviously, we must stay friends with the head of government and invade the country that has been trying to destroy the cartels.

I swear, we've all gone into the mirror universe. Can I go home now?
  #42758  
Old 11-07-2019, 09:05 AM
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You are home, which is the frightening part.
  #42759  
Old 11-07-2019, 01:34 PM
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Can you make water wet, too?
That'll be an extra $5.

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I swear, we've all gone into the mirror universe. Can I go home now?
Well if someone hadn't chased away that butterfly back in '95...
  #42760  
Old 11-07-2019, 01:59 PM
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What I said in the Failed State thread applies to Cotton...

Will he welcome Mexican and German troops to fight our white nationalists since both countries had citizens murdered in El Paso last August?
TBCF, Mexico did in fact invade the US, and the assault was so egregious that there is Pancho Villa State Park to commemorate the incident.
  #42761  
Old 11-07-2019, 08:28 PM
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From Dotard Junior's vehicle to launder PAC funds to himself book:

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Originally Posted by Bonespur Junior
I rarely get emotional, if ever. I guess you'd call me hyper-rational, stoic. Yet as we drove past the rows of white [Arlington Cemetery] grave markers, in the gravity of the moment, I had a deep sense of the importance of the presidency and a love of our country... In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we'd already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we'd have to make to help my father succeed — voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were 'profiting off of the office.'
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Last edited by Steve MB; 11-07-2019 at 08:31 PM.
  #42762  
Old 11-07-2019, 09:34 PM
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From Dotard Junior's vehicle to launder PAC funds to himself book:
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Originally Posted by Bonespur Junior
I rarely get emotional, if ever. I guess you'd call me hyper-rational, stoic. Yet as we drove past the rows of white [Arlington Cemetery] grave markers, in the gravity of the moment, I had a deep sense of the importance of the presidency and a love of our country... In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we'd already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we'd have to make to help my father succeed — voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were 'profiting off of the office.'
Move over Stephen R. Donaldson, it looks like there's a new entrant in the "disturbing fantasy" marketplace.
  #42763  
Old 11-07-2019, 10:40 PM
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Ahead of Jeff Sessions announcement that he is running for the Senate from Alabama, something called Grit PAC is running an ad calling him "traitor Jeff" for recusing himself before the Russia investigatiion.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaig...xpected-senate
  #42764  
Old 11-08-2019, 05:18 AM
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Ahead of Jeff Sessions announcement that he is running for the Senate from Alabama, something called Grit PAC is running an ad calling him "traitor Jeff" for recusing himself before the Russia investigatiion.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaig...xpected-senate
The thought of Sessions taking flak from both left and right does warm the cockles of my heart.

You're 72 years old and rich, Jefferson Beauregard. Just retire and spend some time with the few tattered shreds of your soul you still have.
  #42765  
Old 11-08-2019, 06:16 AM
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The thought of Sessions taking flak from both left and right does warm the cockles of my heart.

You're 72 years old and rich, Jefferson Beauregard. Just retire and spend some time with the few tattered shreds of your soul you still have.
At first glance, I read bits of that last phrase as "the few tattered sheets... you still have".
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  #42766  
Old 11-08-2019, 07:08 AM
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From Dotard Junior's vehicle to launder PAC funds to himself book:
Truly, the thought of leaving a dollar on the table stings as much as a bullet to the guts in the mud of Viet-Nam. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. This is a place of healing for my wallet.

Last edited by Kobal2; 11-08-2019 at 07:09 AM.
  #42767  
Old 11-08-2019, 08:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Gyrate View Post
The thought of Sessions taking flak from both left and right does warm the cockles of my heart.

You're 72 years old and rich, Jefferson Beauregard. Just retire and spend some time with the few tattered shreds of your soul you still have.
At first glance, I read bits of that last phrase as "the few tattered sheets... you still have".
He has to sew the hood out of something.
  #42768  
Old 11-08-2019, 09:27 PM
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The Texas Lege is considering ending local judicial elections, instead relying on appointments by the governor.

I mean, I can see their point. When I go to vote, there are all these judicial races on the ballot, with entirely unfamiliar names, and really, what qualifies me to decide who would be a good judge?
However, the bill would have ended elections only in counties with more than 500,000 people, targeting urban areas like Houston. That would mean the governor would choose judges in the state's larger, more diverse counties, while rural, conservative counties could keep choosing their own judges.
Oh.

Fuck that.
  #42769  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:06 AM
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The Texas Lege is considering ending local judicial elections, instead relying on appointments by the governor.

I mean, I can see their point. When I go to vote, there are all these judicial races on the ballot, with entirely unfamiliar names, and really, what qualifies me to decide who would be a good judge?
However, the bill would have ended elections only in counties with more than 500,000 people, targeting urban areas like Houston. That would mean the governor would choose judges in the state's larger, more diverse counties, while rural, conservative counties could keep choosing their own judges.
Oh.

Fuck that.
Guess we can dispense with the idea of playing fair with these cats.
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  #42770  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:07 PM
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Trump's corps of deplorables think they know who the whistleblower is, and have outed a former Obama administration official, leading to death threats against him. The only problem is that the identified official left the White House with the rest of the Obama staffers in January of 2017. At least Dean Cain has retracted his tweet, but Kevin Sorbo still has it up.
https://www.themarysue.com/dean-cain...whistleblower/
  #42771  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:18 PM
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I was in Manhattan earlier today and I successfully avoided Taliban Tower but I did not know there was a News Corp building to avoid as well. Their marquee headline was something like "Mexico no longer 'safe haven' for American Mormons". So I guess Fox will soon be opposing the policy of "ask for asylum in Mexico first" for Central American refugees, because Mexico isn't safe, right?
  #42772  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:07 PM
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Trump's corps of deplorables think they know who the whistleblower is, and have outed a former Obama administration official, leading to death threats against him. The only problem is that the identified official left the White House with the rest of the Obama staffers in January of 2017. At least Dean Cain has retracted his tweet, but Kevin Sorbo still has it up.
https://www.themarysue.com/dean-cain...whistleblower/
They know who the whistle blower is, and it's not the person that's in your link. It's (most likely) a CIA intel analyst.

Now for the good part: people with above room temperature IQs aren't going to work for CIA, Dept of State, the NSC, or Pentagon because they know it's a sham. The damage that Trump has inflicted on our national security apparatus will not be reversed in the next 5-10 years. You all wonder why I am so pessimistic - it's because I understand in a way that most cannot the damage that has been inflicted. It is real. It is severe. It will outlast this administration, and electing a Democrat may not be enough to salvage the situation.
  #42773  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:56 PM
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...people with above room temperature IQs aren't going to work for CIA, Dept of State, the NSC, or Pentagon because they know it's a sham.
Could you try to be a little less full of shit?

And by the way, every political observer with, as you say, an IQ above room temperature already knows the damage to the State Dept and most other Executive agencies will take more than the next presidential administration to repair. It's just not a unique or particularly impressive observation to make. Get the fuck over yourself.

Maybe it's time to take another break for an attitude adjustment. You're another political poster on the SDMB, not Cassandra.
  #42774  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:49 PM
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people with above room temperature IQs aren't going to work for CIA, Dept of State, the NSC, or Pentagon because they know it's a sham.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bphR-6Xi1_I
  #42775  
Old 11-10-2019, 10:21 AM
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Tom Cotton suggests that the US Army needs to invade Mexico to protect Americans.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/s...vasion-mexico?
Give him a uniform and a gun, and send HIM. No one else, just him. Hopefully, they'll turn him into Swiss cheese.
  #42776  
Old 11-10-2019, 10:27 AM
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From Dotard Junior's vehicle to launder PAC funds to himself book:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonespur Junior
I rarely get emotional, if ever. I guess you'd call me hyper-rational, stoic. Yet as we drove past the rows of white [Arlington Cemetery] grave markers, in the gravity of the moment, I had a deep sense of the importance of the presidency and a love of our country... In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we'd already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we'd have to make to help my father succeed — voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were 'profiting off of the office.'
Like I said in the other thread, fuck that whiney fucking punk ass bitch.
  #42777  
Old 11-10-2019, 10:30 AM
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Ahead of Jeff Sessions announcement that he is running for the Senate from Alabama, something called Grit PAC is running an ad calling him "traitor Jeff" for recusing himself before the Russia investigatiion.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaig...xpected-senate
BOTH sides hate that weasel???



GOOD.
  #42778  
Old 11-10-2019, 12:07 PM
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For those still on the fence as to whether or not controlling women's bodies is the primary purpose of the pro life movement, I present the following

Missouri Official Admits to Tracking Women’s Periods

Quote:
During the second day of a weeklong state hearing that will decide whether Missouri’s last abortion clinic will be shut down, the state’s heath director, Dr. Randall Williams, admitted to keeping a spreadsheet that tracked the menstrual periods of its patients
Now I'm a guy but this sounds as creepy as hell, I can't imagine how Missouri women feel about this.

But it turns out this wasn't even the first time the GOP has done this.
Quote:
"At that hearing, our Members expressed concern about your conduct as head of the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR). They asked you specifically and repeatedly about reports that you had compiled spreadsheets to track the pregnancies and menstrual cycles of young women in your care," writes Chairman Jerry Nadler, a New York Democrat, in a letter addressed to Lloyd dated Friday.

Last edited by Buck Godot; 11-10-2019 at 12:11 PM.
  #42779  
Old 11-10-2019, 02:16 PM
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BOTH sides hate that weasel???



GOOD.
Individual 1 sat with Sessions's primary opponent at Alabama yesterday.
  #42780  
Old 11-10-2019, 02:40 PM
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Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza says nuclear winter is a liberal hoax.
  #42781  
Old 11-10-2019, 04:33 PM
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Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza says nuclear winter is a liberal hoax.
Grody to the max, like fer sure!
  #42782  
Old 11-10-2019, 05:04 PM
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Quote:
Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza says nuclear winter is a liberal hoax.
Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Souza
“Remember nuclear winter? Of course you don’t. That’s because it didn’t happen. Yet it was all the rage on the Left in the 1980s,” he argued.
"All the rage"

How. How do you even begin to talk to such an absolutely clueless person?

The stupidity of the human race still surprises me. And it gets worse every day.
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  #42783  
Old 11-10-2019, 06:03 PM
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D’Souza and Ingraham are the primary reasons Dartmouth became what Tom Cruz would call a “minor Ivy.”
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  #42784  
Old 11-10-2019, 07:38 PM
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I must have missed the actual thermonuclear exchange back in the 1980's.
Gevalt. Has higher education failed us, somehow, or are these clowns just determined to play Barnum?
  #42785  
Old 11-10-2019, 09:17 PM
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Tom Cotton suggests that the US Army needs to invade Mexico to protect Americans.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/s...vasion-mexico?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveG1 View Post
Give him a uniform and a gun, and send HIM. No one else, just him. Hopefully, they'll turn him into Swiss cheese.
Tom Cotton may be many things, including not very bright, but at least he's not a chickenhawk. He served and won a Bronze Star.
  #42786  
Old 11-10-2019, 09:40 PM
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I understand in a way that most cannot the damage that has been inflicted.
Sucks ta be you brah
  #42787  
Old 11-10-2019, 09:55 PM
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Senator John Kennedy says extortion may be impeachable, but only if you have a culpable frame of mine.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/s...tion-probably?

Congressman Mac Thornberry says Individual 1 can't be impeached for extortion because he says the same thing in public.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/g...ortion-ukraine
  #42788  
Old 11-10-2019, 10:15 PM
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Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza says nuclear winter is a liberal hoax.
A few weeks ago, D'Souza posted something stupid on Twitter and I called him a name. It was puerile, but all that he deserved. Anyway, I use the same handle on Twitter that I use here, and my avatar is a picture of a baseball. My profile says nothing about me. D'Souza's oh-so-brilliant reply was "I have an Ivy League degree and you don't." I responded that he has no fucking clue who I am or what my credentials are ('cuz, you you, I'm an anonymous baseball picture). As it turns out, I do have a Master's degree, a bunch of industry training, and am a university professor, but yes I did give the Ivy League a miss. The fact that D'Souza made it through (he has a Bachelor's degree!! In English!!) tells me I made the right choice. Really, to be a grown ass man responding to a juvenile insult with "I have an Ivy League degree" is really pathetic.
  #42789  
Old 11-10-2019, 11:48 PM
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Congressman Mac Thornberry says Individual 1 can't be impeached for extortion because he says the same thing in public.
https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/g...ortion-ukraine
And all this time the Gambinos thought they had to be clever with the "nice digs, would be a shame if they burned down" stuff - who knew all they had to do to be legit businessmen was to go into the stores during business hours and plainly demand money or they'll start breaking kneecaps ?
  #42790  
Old 11-11-2019, 12:29 AM
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I must have missed the actual thermonuclear exchange back in the 1980's.
Gevalt.
Remember that day you were in that one Burger King arguing with the counter person about where the beef was? That was when it happened. You were so caught up in the argument that you failed to notice it. And, that one Burger King is in a location where you never would have seen any of the bright flashes.

We got most of it cleaned up before you got home. All you ever saw was what looked like major road construction.
  #42791  
Old 11-11-2019, 01:31 AM
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For those still on the fence as to whether or not controlling women's bodies is the primary purpose of the pro life movement, I present the following

Missouri Official Admits to Tracking Women’s Periods

Now I'm a guy but this sounds as creepy as hell, I can't imagine how Missouri women feel about this.

But it turns out this wasn't even the first time the GOP has done this.
Must be Fake News from the Democrats. Everybody knows that preserving the freedoms of mankind is the highest priority of "conservatives."

Oh wait. Freedoms of mankind. Them womankind should just do as though they're told and stop whining when they get themselves raped. And what good was the Nineteenth Amendment if he womenfolk don't vote the way they're told to?


ETA: Some women are good Republicans. This horrid (too-dumb-to-be-true?) video is 9 years old, but I stumbled on it and was astounded.

Last edited by septimus; 11-11-2019 at 01:35 AM.
  #42792  
Old 11-11-2019, 12:32 PM
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Some light relief: GOP Senator Marsha Blackburn reminds us that Jesus "warned us about the lawyers". Except that it wasn't Jesus, it was Shakespeare, and the quote was about how lawyers obstruct autocratic rulers attempting to undermine the rule of law and seize more power.

But apart from being wrong in every respect and undermining the point she was trying to make, she totally nailed it.
  #42793  
Old 11-11-2019, 12:43 PM
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Some light relief: GOP Senator Marsha Blackburn reminds us that Jesus "warned us about the lawyers". Except that it wasn't Jesus, it was Shakespeare, and the quote was about how lawyers obstruct autocratic rulers attempting to undermine the rule of law and seize more power.

But apart from being wrong in every respect and undermining the point she was trying to make, she totally nailed it.
Education is so overrated.

(She really thought Jesus said that?? What an ignoramus.)
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  #42794  
Old 11-11-2019, 01:05 PM
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ETA: Some women are good Republicans. This horrid (too-dumb-to-be-true?) video is 9 years old, but I stumbled on it and was astounded.
A 25-minute video from whom? Relevant to what? You watched that whole thing?
  #42795  
Old 11-11-2019, 01:52 PM
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Some light relief: GOP Senator Marsha Blackburn reminds us that Jesus "warned us about the lawyers". Except that it wasn't Jesus, it was Shakespeare, and the quote was about how lawyers obstruct autocratic rulers attempting to undermine the rule of law and seize more power.

But apart from being wrong in every respect and undermining the point she was trying to make, she totally nailed it.
I can't stand Blackburn, and her statement is wildly misleading, but people who assume she is mis-quoting Shakespeare are exposing their own Biblical illiteracy.

In Luke chapter 11, Jesus really does condemn "lawyers":
“Woe also to you lawyers! For you load people with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not lift a finger to ease them. Woe to you! For you build the tombs of the prophets whom your ancestors killed. So you are witnesses and approve of the deeds of your ancestors; for they killed them, and you build their tombs. Therefore also the Wisdom of God said, ‘I will send them prophets and apostles, some of whom they will kill and persecute,’ so that this generation may be charged with the blood of all the prophets shed since the foundation of the world, from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who perished between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, I tell you, it will be charged against this generation. Woe to you lawyers! For you have taken away the key of knowledge; you did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering.” (Luke 11:46-52, NSRV) The New International Version uses"experts in the law" for "lawyers."

Of course, their real crime was hypocrisy ignoring the burdens of their constituents; something Senator Blackburn would do well to note.

Last edited by Skammer; 11-11-2019 at 01:56 PM.
  #42796  
Old 11-11-2019, 01:55 PM
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Why was Jesus shouting numbers while Woeing the lawyers?
  #42797  
Old 11-11-2019, 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by bobot View Post
Why was Jesus shouting numbers while Woeing the lawyers?
Because his real target was the accountants.
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  #42798  
Old 11-11-2019, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by bobot View Post
Why was Jesus shouting numbers while Woeing the lawyers?
Oops, sorry, I edited the quote to take out the verse numbers before I saw your comment and ruined the joke. I like the idea though. "46! Woe also to you lawyers! 47! You load people with burdens hard to bear! ... Don't make me count to 50!"
  #42799  
Old 11-11-2019, 03:49 PM
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I appreciate your interest in maintaining the integrity of the joke!
  #42800  
Old 11-11-2019, 06:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skammer View Post
Oops, sorry, I edited the quote to take out the verse numbers before I saw your comment and ruined the joke. I like the idea though. "46! Woe also to you lawyers! 47! You load people with burdens hard to bear! ... Don't make me count to 50!"

"47? I said that exact same thing and nobody at all laughed."

"You told it wrong."
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