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  #101  
Old 07-22-2012, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Typo Negative View Post
'When I tell you to move, you'll move fast"
"I said a please would be nice".
  #102  
Old 07-22-2012, 03:24 PM
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"Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two 'raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect. "
Look at the brain on Brad!
  #103  
Old 07-22-2012, 03:44 PM
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Look at the brain on Brad!

Check out the big brain on Brett
  #104  
Old 07-22-2012, 03:51 PM
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Check out the big brain on Brett
Yeah, that. All this time, I thought it was Brad.
  #105  
Old 07-22-2012, 05:18 PM
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"I said a please would be nice".
Please! It's so five minutes ago!
  #106  
Old 07-22-2012, 05:44 PM
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Please! It's so five minutes ago!
Ugh, gag me with a spoon.
  #107  
Old 07-22-2012, 06:00 PM
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Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the window!
  #108  
Old 07-22-2012, 07:09 PM
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Hey, where the fuck do you guys get off on arresting somebody for getting thrown out of a window?
  #109  
Old 07-22-2012, 07:30 PM
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We're on a mission from God.
  #110  
Old 07-22-2012, 08:04 PM
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As God as my witness, I'll never be hungry again.
  #111  
Old 07-22-2012, 08:41 PM
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Grab a brew. Don't cost nothin'.
  #112  
Old 07-22-2012, 09:56 PM
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I think a man working outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds. That's only my opinion.
  #113  
Old 07-22-2012, 10:04 PM
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I wish I knew how to quit you.
  #114  
Old 07-22-2012, 10:29 PM
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Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wasteland. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
  #115  
Old 07-22-2012, 10:43 PM
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You can't leave now! All the plants will die!
  #116  
Old 07-23-2012, 12:10 AM
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But Basketball is a peaceful plant! Er, planet!
  #117  
Old 07-23-2012, 12:12 AM
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There's no crying in baseball!
  #118  
Old 07-23-2012, 12:48 AM
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Quote:
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There's no crying in baseball!
I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me.
  #119  
Old 07-23-2012, 01:17 AM
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Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?
  #120  
Old 07-23-2012, 02:11 AM
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I'm talkin'about friendship. I'm talkin'about character. I'm talkin'about-- Hell, Leo, I ain't embarrassed to use the word. I'm talkin' about ethics.
  #121  
Old 07-23-2012, 03:16 AM
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"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
  #122  
Old 07-23-2012, 07:21 AM
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"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
I'm shocked, SHOCKED, to find gambling in this establishment!
  #123  
Old 07-23-2012, 08:52 AM
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I'm shocked, SHOCKED, to find gambling in this establishment!
Are you suggesting that I, the president of Huxley College, go into a speakeasy without even giving me the address?
  #124  
Old 07-23-2012, 09:38 AM
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Are you suggesting that I, the president of Huxley College, go into a speakeasy without even giving me the address?
I'm suggesting, Mr. President, there's a military plot to take over the government. This may occur some time this coming Sunday.
  #125  
Old 07-23-2012, 09:50 AM
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Left the Sunday joint cooking all night, didn't we?
  #126  
Old 07-23-2012, 01:19 PM
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Yeah, that 'Nam grass will fuck anyone up, man!
  #127  
Old 07-23-2012, 01:45 PM
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'I'm working on my own blend, a mix of Kentucky bluegrass and sensemilla. You play 18 on it in the afternoon, and get stoned on it at night. Cannonball!'
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  #128  
Old 07-23-2012, 03:01 PM
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Mind if I do a J?
  #129  
Old 07-23-2012, 03:55 PM
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Mind if I do a J?
No, thank you. I will proceed directly to the intravenous injection of hard drugs, please.
  #130  
Old 07-23-2012, 09:31 PM
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People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid
  #131  
Old 07-23-2012, 09:43 PM
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Oh, but we are nice, and we'll attend to your every need.
  #132  
Old 07-23-2012, 10:49 PM
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Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound. You look like you're both pretty groovy. Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal. We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
  #133  
Old 07-24-2012, 12:20 AM
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Let me ask you a question. And be honest. Do I make you horny, baby? Do I?
  #134  
Old 07-24-2012, 12:38 AM
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Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.
  #135  
Old 07-24-2012, 03:33 AM
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Fuckety-bye!
  #136  
Old 07-24-2012, 04:46 AM
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And then, the oral sex!
  #137  
Old 07-24-2012, 05:02 AM
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As you wish.
  #138  
Old 07-24-2012, 05:02 AM
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My name is Pussy Galore.
  #139  
Old 07-24-2012, 05:05 AM
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Would you like to play a game?
  #140  
Old 07-24-2012, 05:58 AM
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You talkin' to me? YOU TALKIN' TO ME??
  #141  
Old 07-24-2012, 09:10 AM
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Originally Posted by KinkiNipponTourist View Post
You talkin' to me? YOU TALKIN' TO ME??*
I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.


*I think that's the third time this line has been used in this thread. Just sayin'.

Last edited by El_Kabong; 07-24-2012 at 09:15 AM.
  #142  
Old 07-24-2012, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by El_Kabong View Post
I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.


*I think that's the third time this line has been used in this thread. Just sayin'.
So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
  #143  
Old 07-24-2012, 10:12 AM
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So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
You don't like her. My mother don't like her. She's a dog. And I'm a fat, ugly man. Well, all I know is I had a good time last night. I'm gonna have a good time tonight. If we have enough good times together, I'm gonna get down on my knees. I'm gonna beg that girl to marry me. If we make a party on New Year's, I got a date for that party. You don't like her? That's too bad.
  #144  
Old 07-24-2012, 10:21 AM
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Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you're not a homo. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think "At least SOMEBODY can stand the son of a bitch!" Ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have SOME cash... or your cock must work.
  #145  
Old 07-24-2012, 11:25 AM
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Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togedder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam...
  #146  
Old 07-24-2012, 11:42 AM
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All wight. I will give you one more chance. This time, I want to hear no Weubens, no Weginalds, no Wudolph the Wed-nosed Weindeers, or I shall wewease NO ONE!

Last edited by astorian; 07-24-2012 at 11:42 AM.
  #147  
Old 07-24-2012, 11:51 AM
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All wight. I will give you one more chance. This time, I want to hear no Weubens, no Weginalds, no Wudolph the Wed-nosed Weindeers, or I shall wewease NO ONE!
Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted?

(ziiiipp)

Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue!
  #148  
Old 07-24-2012, 12:00 PM
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The truth is what I say it is!
  #149  
Old 07-24-2012, 12:26 PM
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Sometimes the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more.
  #150  
Old 07-24-2012, 12:47 PM
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You want the truth?? You can't handle the truth!
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