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Old 08-20-2016, 04:38 PM
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Weirdest conversation starters


You can think off
  #2  
Old 08-22-2016, 05:16 PM
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"Hi, would you like a copy of the Watchtower?"
  #3  
Old 08-22-2016, 06:04 PM
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"Pardon me, sorry, most urgent... what year is this?"
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Old 08-22-2016, 06:05 PM
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"Is it okay if I reach over and grab a couple of these double A's?"
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Old 08-24-2016, 02:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
"Is it okay if I reach over and grab a couple of these double A's?"
Some sort of boob joke, I presume?


Back on track:

"Are you the keymaster?"
  #6  
Old 08-24-2016, 02:41 PM
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What is the frequency Kenneth?
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Old 08-25-2016, 09:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whiskey Dickens View Post
Some sort of boob joke, I presume?
I'm a store cashier and the customer was referring to the batteries on display at my register.

I practically turned purple chocking back an inappropriate response--Those yes; these, no.
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Old 08-25-2016, 11:58 AM
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"Does this look infected to you?"
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Old 09-13-2016, 10:37 AM
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"You remind me of a serial killer I once knew."
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Old 09-13-2016, 10:40 AM
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Old 09-13-2016, 10:54 AM
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"Wow, could I palpate your clavicles?"

Last edited by Cardigan; 09-13-2016 at 10:54 AM.
  #12  
Old 09-14-2016, 12:13 PM
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"Is your wife a goer, eh? Know what I mean?"
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Old 09-14-2016, 03:37 PM
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Did you hear the rumour that our hostess once went under the pseudonym "Sticky Tremblers"?
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Old 09-15-2016, 11:17 AM
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Are you gonna finish that?
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Old 09-15-2016, 04:32 PM
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Have they looked here yet?
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Old 09-15-2016, 05:00 PM
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[bug eyed expression] Oh my god it's you!!!!! You may not believe me now, but I promise you are going to be really grateful this moment happened shortly after you get into that time machine 43 years from now!
  #17  
Old 09-15-2016, 05:17 PM
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Can you see me? Can you hear me? Do I exist to you?
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Old 09-15-2016, 08:29 PM
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I dreamed of this last night, but you were wearing black.
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Old 09-16-2016, 12:09 AM
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Huh. You don't look at all like my spirit guide described you.
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Old 09-17-2016, 06:08 PM
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You look just like my great aunt ... but much, much older..
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Old 09-18-2016, 03:40 PM
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Empty your pockets - my hands are cold.
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Old 09-18-2016, 08:46 PM
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Would it be OK if I licked your ears?
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Old 09-19-2016, 01:30 PM
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"What did the aardvark say to the taxi driver?"
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:43 PM
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Lick lick lick Ma BALLZ!
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Old 09-20-2016, 12:10 AM
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Have you ever visited an alternate dimension?

...Would you like to?
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:28 AM
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You may not remember me, but you punched me in the face once.
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Old 09-26-2016, 01:12 AM
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Did you bring the briefcase?
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Old 09-26-2016, 01:38 AM
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Are you a Middle East dictator? Because there's an uprising in my pants.
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Old 09-27-2016, 01:21 AM
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Are you voting for Clinton, Trump or the distempered badger I have in my trunk?
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Old 09-27-2016, 06:38 AM
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Does your distempered badger have a plan for defeating ISIS?
  #31  
Old 09-27-2016, 10:39 AM
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"Are we there yet?"
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Old 09-27-2016, 10:44 AM
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"Here, hold this." [hand over black, spherical 19th century/cartoon-standard 'bomb']

Last edited by Cardigan; 09-27-2016 at 10:44 AM.
  #33  
Old 09-27-2016, 12:16 PM
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"Hi, I've recently started a group of clowns that meets in the woods every Tuesday night - would you be interested in joining us? It'd be lots of fun."
  #34  
Old 09-27-2016, 12:50 PM
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Phil? Phil Connors?
  #35  
Old 09-27-2016, 02:11 PM
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  #36  
Old 09-27-2016, 04:45 PM
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Nice head. I think I'll keep it.
  #37  
Old 10-01-2019, 10:42 PM
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"Can I talk to you about god?"
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Wait, you can do signatures?
  #38  
Old 10-01-2019, 10:52 PM
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"Shooting migrants in the legs". Is this legal? If Area 51 trespassers can be shot...
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It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #39  
Old 10-01-2019, 10:55 PM
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"do these look/feel real ? GO ahead touch them I need an opinion " (yes that's happened and they did ....)
  #40  
Old 10-01-2019, 11:10 PM
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"The dog barks at midnight, facing north."
  #41  
Old 10-02-2019, 12:30 AM
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[to a hitchhiker]

So, how far did you think you were going?
  #42  
Old 10-02-2019, 01:49 AM
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Do you want to know a secret?
When they say yes you then tell them to tell one first.
Works every time.
  #43  
Old 10-02-2019, 07:53 AM
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I normally don't talk to zombies, but...
  #44  
Old 10-02-2019, 09:12 AM
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What the fuck are you looking at?
  #45  
Old 10-02-2019, 09:30 AM
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Are you Pennywise or Poundfoolish?
  #46  
Old 10-02-2019, 09:37 AM
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The fat man sings on the bridge at midnight.
  #47  
Old 10-06-2019, 10:04 PM
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You look more like you do now than last time I saw you.

Last edited by boson; 10-06-2019 at 10:06 PM.
  #48  
Old 10-06-2019, 11:18 PM
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Hey, I remember you. I've been plotting revenge for 15 years, so you might want to start running now.
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Wait, you can do signatures?
  #49  
Old 10-08-2019, 12:27 AM
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Are you the ET I'm supposed to meet?
  #50  
Old 10-08-2019, 11:13 AM
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Where can a guy get a good glass of tranya around here?
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