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  #1301  
Old 10-25-2019, 06:35 PM
Karen Lingel is offline
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What Keeps You Awake At Night?
Ever heard of "quantum supremacy"?


Aw, crap! I have plenty of self-esteem issues without having to worry that the quanta are superior to me!
  #1302  
Old 10-25-2019, 09:23 PM
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What would the Republican argument be against putting people to work on our failing infrastructure?
Spiders! Spiders! Spiders!
  #1303  
Old 10-25-2019, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ludovic View Post
What would the Republican argument be against putting people to work on our failing infrastructure?
Spiders! Spiders! Spiders!
Hey, you go building a bunch of new bridges and stuff, and then this happens.
  #1304  
Old 10-26-2019, 06:10 AM
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I'm surprised EVERYONE can't...
Translate “cool” to Spanish, please
  #1305  
Old 10-26-2019, 10:04 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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Politely hurrying up someone who takes too long to get to the point
Woke Me When It's Over

When you finish your long discourse.
  #1306  
Old 10-26-2019, 12:34 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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Cat hoarding situation
The worst, most useless, frustrating car you've ever owned.


Lots of cats are worthless and frustrating. Oh, wait a minute, you said CAR.
  #1307  
Old 10-26-2019, 05:29 PM
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Anyone use Blue Cross/Blue Shield "Wellness Program"?
I'm surprised EVERYONE can't...


Beto O'Rourke attempts to gain political traction by endorsing "Blue Cross/Blue Shield For All". Hilarity ensues.
  #1308  
Old 10-27-2019, 09:03 AM
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Cousins marrying and having children
Your historical analogy for the Trump era
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I used to be clueless, but I turned that around 360 degrees. -Ratbert
dogbutler-Not an ax murderer!
I hang out with the Cool kids
  #1309  
Old 10-27-2019, 11:06 AM
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Which is the best version of "I Write The Songs"?
How to cook a heart


Jeffrey Dahmer's cover album is fabulous.

Electric Vehicle critics
Ever have a car/motorcycle you wish you had back?


I sort of miss my 2002 Renault Pixie. But I could never keep enough AAA batteries on hand.
  #1310  
Old 10-27-2019, 01:02 PM
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I'm surprised EVERYONE can't...
Tax the rich!
  #1311  
Old 10-27-2019, 03:02 PM
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name your bio of the Trump administration

The worst, most useless, frustrating car you've ever owned.


Truly, Trump is the Yugo, the Edsel, the Pinto of politicians.
  #1312  
Old 10-28-2019, 09:01 AM
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I want to be
Homemade sauerkraut


A much more down to earth identity than an Apache attach helicopter.
  #1313  
Old 10-28-2019, 09:08 AM
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How can I improve my singing?
Homemade sauerkraut
  #1314  
Old 10-28-2019, 11:36 AM
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What are you scared of? Halloween/October Mini-rants
Jehovah Goddamned Witnesses... Fuck 'Em In A Ventricle

Asked and Answered
  #1315  
Old 10-29-2019, 09:28 AM
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I'm surprised EVERYONE can't...
Tell me about your experiences with home fireplaces


I know, right? Everyone should know about your experiences with home fireplaces!

Last edited by Ludovic; 10-29-2019 at 09:28 AM.
  #1316  
Old 10-29-2019, 11:31 AM
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The next Star Wars trilogy
Could Battlestar Galactica of been the next star wars?


Not the trilogy. Not even one.
  #1317  
Old 10-29-2019, 02:16 PM
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How do we fix this?

The Trump Administration: A Clusterfuck in the Making



I'm thinkin' Impeachment, myself.
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #1318  
Old 10-30-2019, 08:35 AM
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Has anyone here ever been in an actual food fight?
Tell me about your experiences with home fireplaces


Yeah, that flambé food fight was a humdinger.
  #1319  
Old 10-30-2019, 11:56 AM
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What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Epstein Suicide


All you need is a noose and some black and white striped pajamas with EPSTEIN written on them. Easy, timely, cheap and clever.
  #1320  
Old 10-30-2019, 01:05 PM
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Your favorite romantic lyric. Only one line please.
Kink Live


Okay?
  #1321  
Old 10-31-2019, 09:54 AM
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What are you gonna be for Halloween?

The Ghost of Halloweens Past
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #1322  
Old 10-31-2019, 11:08 AM
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What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Electric Vehicle critics


You dress up in a white lab coat and glasses, and wear a pocket protector full of pencils, and you carry papers denouncing Tesla.
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #1323  
Old 10-31-2019, 06:07 PM
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Anyone Play Scratch Off Lotteries ?
My pet rats


Have they won anything yet?
  #1324  
Old 11-02-2019, 01:15 AM
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Poll: 2019 Time Person of the Year
Baby falling through window


Yeah, it made a hell of a splash.
  #1325  
Old 11-02-2019, 10:13 PM
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Songs sung by animals
Your favorite romantic lyric. Only one line please.


I can't decide between "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good" and "Girl, there's a better life for me and you".
  #1326  
Old 11-04-2019, 11:07 AM
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Nude Praying.
Baldies, chrome domes, cue balls, come hither


And bring the brain bleach with you.
  #1327  
Old 11-04-2019, 11:40 AM
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I'm surprised EVERYONE can't...
Nude Praying.


As a modest non-believer, I have problems with both of theses.
  #1328  
Old 11-04-2019, 12:11 PM
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Does hair loss happen all over the human body equally?

Nude Praying.


Lord, hear my hair.
  #1329  
Old 11-04-2019, 12:35 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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Rewriting Romeo & Juliet. What two conflicting groups do the star crossed lovers come from?
Creating a musical....any tips?


It's been done.
  #1330  
Old 11-04-2019, 02:36 PM
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Stupid Republican idea of the day
Is there any gold in Fort Knox?


"Or has it all secretly been turned over to George Soros to fund the United Nations One World Socialist Agenda?!? We 'Just Ask Questions', You Decide!™"
  #1331  
Old 11-05-2019, 11:23 AM
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Nude Praying.
"Checked by Radar"


That explains his chronic WTF look.
  #1332  
Old 11-05-2019, 12:09 PM
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This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife
Need advice about the needy bitch across the hall.


  #1333  
Old 11-05-2019, 12:15 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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Is the decimal system truly universal?
Japanese Gold Bars 999.9


No
  #1334  
Old 11-05-2019, 01:21 PM
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Which of these do you consider offal?
Have you used Greyhound lately?


Yes, and it was awful.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 11-05-2019 at 01:22 PM.
  #1335  
Old 11-06-2019, 09:36 AM
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Does anyone have any advice on how to not think about a thing?
Excruciatingly Hot, Burning Surge up the Back of the Neck/Head


"OK, I just have to not think about OW! Right, I just need to stop thinking about OW!!! FUCK THAT HURTS!!!"

Yeah, that could work. Sort of an operant conditioning thing.
  #1336  
Old 11-06-2019, 11:22 AM
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Restoring a leather jacket
Have you used Greyhound lately?


To paraphrase Mr. Burns: But a greyhound leather jacket would be best.
  #1337  
Old 11-06-2019, 05:18 PM
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What's your boggart?
Does anyone have any advice on how to not think about a thing?


You definitely don't want to think about a boggart.
  #1338  
Old 11-06-2019, 10:44 PM
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Changing An Electrical Outlet Without Turning The Power Off
Stupid question about potatoes and electricity


Well, that's one way to make home fries.

Last edited by Jackmannii; 11-06-2019 at 10:45 PM.
  #1339  
Old 11-07-2019, 08:13 AM
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What's the best way for a man to tell a woman he doesn't want to be physical anymore?

Modern Monetary Theory
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #1340  
Old 11-07-2019, 01:57 PM
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What could make a parked car burst into flames in the dead of night?
Blood sugar creeping up relentlessly...


You gotta pay attention to the gauges. Anything over 200 and that thing could go up like a Roman candle.
  #1341  
Old 11-08-2019, 10:33 AM
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Can someone please explain this whole chicken sandwich thing?
Worker killed at Buffalo Wild Wings in Burlington MA


Guns don't kill people, chicken kills people.
  #1342  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:48 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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share the dumbest or awful "licensed " food product youve ever had .....
Poll: Spam Anniversary



Spam certainly qualifies

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 11-09-2019 at 09:48 AM.
  #1343  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:53 AM
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Ibuprofen as a sleep aid? WTF!
How long is a pickled sausage good for?


If it's pickled in enough vodka you should get about six hours sleep, before the belching wakes you up.
  #1344  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:02 PM
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Diamonds Are Forever
Black Walnuts!
  #1345  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:24 PM
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Tomorrow I shall be homeless.
Blood sugar creeping up relentlessly...


...went to my old lady, she say
You one ugly mutha from what I see

- obscure John Lee Hooker song
  #1346  
Old 11-10-2019, 08:25 PM
Ludovic is offline
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What's the best way for a man to tell a woman he doesn't want to be physical anymore?
Waking up in the middle of the night and ruminating


No, honey, I don't want to stop sleeping with you, I was just .... ruminating ... about other people.
  #1347  
Old 11-11-2019, 09:09 AM
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Describe yourself in 3 words
OK Boomer!


That's 2 words.
  #1348  
Old 11-11-2019, 09:41 AM
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Someone in New Zealand wants to hack me
How dangerous is a chainsaw to use?

Very. You could literally hack someone with it.

Bear: Beckdawreks bad, bad, bad, boy!(bingo! 'Bs')
OK Boomer!

Another B
  #1349  
Old 11-11-2019, 06:18 PM
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US shale oil industry is collapsing
Bends Over?


Yes, it's bending over and soon will collapse.
  #1350  
Old 11-11-2019, 11:59 PM
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Fireball Whiskey mini-bottles and toothpicks with dental floss
Stupid Republican idea of the day


They'd get better results handing out mini-bottles of whiskey at the polls, especially in Kentucky and Tennessee.
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