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Old 11-08-2019, 03:25 AM
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share the dumbest or awful "licensed " food product youve ever had .....


what I'm talking about are things like this box of cereal (https://www.bestproducts.com/lifesty...mstick-cereal/)it's supposed to be based on the "drumstick" ice cream product and its supposed to taste like the real thing ....

What you get is a uninspired box of kix cocoa puffs and something approximating golden Grahams mixed together ...... it's not horrible but sort of pointless ....... i just found out there's a mint chocolate version but seems all they do is flavor the kix with mint .....


there are other abominations like the Dunkin donuts cereal and crap like that ... so what's one you've come across?

Last edited by nightshadea; 11-08-2019 at 03:28 AM.
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Old 11-08-2019, 07:37 AM
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Well, the Vaderling lurvs him some reeses cereal. Doesn't taste even remotely like reeses peanut butter cups. Might be the barest wiff of a hint that someone suggested making it taste like reeses peices though.
Maybe.
As an afterthought.

Tastes like super sweet chocolate in a vague sort of way plus something else, more sugar maybe?

Pure marketing cash grab based on the reeses label
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Last edited by DorkVader; 11-08-2019 at 07:42 AM.
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Old 11-08-2019, 07:54 AM
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Puffi (Smurf) gelato in Venice, Italy. I suspected it would be terrible and it was, but I just had to. It was basically tasteless. It was a magnificent blue, though, and we found seats right under an AC vent so at least it was relaxing to eat.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:34 AM
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SpongeBob SquarePants mac and cheese.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:21 AM
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Pretty much any breakfast cereal produced by Ralston in the 80s. Yeah, that Ralston, of Ralston-Purina. You probably know them from their pet food. They had a long line of licensed breakfast cereals throughout the 80s, mostly consisting of Cap'n Crunch clones in various shapes, e.g. Batman bats, Donkey Kong barrels, Gremlins, etc. They were pretty much all terrible, and the company eventually sold their cereal division to General Mills, who quickly discontinued all of these products.

Last edited by DCnDC; 11-08-2019 at 09:22 AM.
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Old 11-08-2019, 10:04 AM
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Absolutely anything "edible" or "drinkable" that has a "Margaritaville" label on it. Utter, total and complete crap. And this is coming from a lifelong Parrothead. The clothing and accoutrements are OK to pretty damn good, but the stuff Jimmy licenses to be eaten or poured down your throat is the cheapest, nastiest stuff you can imagine.
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:03 AM
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I'm sure Gene Simmons has some kind of KISS food out there somewhere. Everything else has that brand stuck to it eventually.
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:03 AM
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I saw Chicken & Waffles cereal at WalMart within the last year. Can't even imagine what that would have tasted like.
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:14 AM
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The Divine (http://entertainment.time.com/2012/0...ink-flamingos/) inspired chocolate bars didnt go over well and people complained about dog hair in them.
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:27 AM
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The Divine (http://entertainment.time.com/2012/0...ink-flamingos/) inspired chocolate bars didnt go over well and people complained about dog hair in them.
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:53 AM
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I tried Swedish Fish flavored Oreos once. Never again. In fact, I'll never eat any flavor of Oreo besides original based on that one godawful Swedish Fish flavor. I don't ever need my Oreos to taste like anything but Oreos.
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Old 11-08-2019, 01:23 PM
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I never actually had it but Nascar Bacon is apparently a thing.

Worst actual thing I tried? Mountain Dew "Game Fuel" which came out specifically for the Halo 3 launch and was branded with Halo imagery all over it. I actually liked Mountain Dew and love Cherry Soda but this was basically syrup overload, the taste of Mountain Dew with Cherry is best tried with Mountain Dew Code Red, not this abomination.
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Old 11-08-2019, 01:35 PM
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Popeye Spinach didn't make me super strong with big muscles. At. All.
So disappointing.


ETA, I've always wondered how Popeye squeezed those cans open to plop the contents into his mouth. Before super power. Have you ever tried to squeeze a can open? Virtually impossible.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 11-08-2019 at 01:40 PM.
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Old 11-08-2019, 02:31 PM
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I tried Swedish Fish flavored Oreos once. Never again. In fact, I'll never eat any flavor of Oreo besides original based on that one godawful Swedish Fish flavor. I don't ever need my Oreos to taste like anything but Oreos.
Not even Cookies and Cream flavored Oreos? Since regular Oreos are already just ... cookies and cream.

https://consumerist.com/2015/07/13/n...lavored-oreos/
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Old 11-08-2019, 03:48 PM
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Any cartoon character ice pop you see on an ice cream truck was usually terrible (although dont touch my pink panther pops ..they actually tasted like pink lemonade although the gum was awful)

I remember superman peanut butter.... food pantries couldn't give it away it was worse than the USDA surplus stuff.....

And the first time Reese's peanut butter came out it was just peanut butter ..didn't taste any different than the store brand ..... and it was expensive 4 dollars for a jar in the 90s ....... mom wasnt impressed ......
  #16  
Old 11-08-2019, 05:51 PM
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Rogue Brewing has teamed up with other Oregon based businesses like Voodoo donuts. Some people love it, but many do not, YMMV A not complete list:

- Voodoo Maple Bacon Porter
- Voodoo Grape Guerrilla Ale
- Voodoo Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana
- Voodoo Lemon Chiffon Crueller
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Old 11-08-2019, 06:06 PM
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Well, not as disgusting as some of these entries (*fish* flavored Oreos?! WTF!) but it's an awful example of a breakfast cereal attempting to be what it can never be; namely Cookie Crisp I *guess* it's supposed to taste like chocolate chip cookies with milk added but to me it just tastes like bland, dry grain biscuits injected with sugar.
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Old 11-08-2019, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
Well, not as disgusting as some of these entries (*fish* flavored Oreos?! WTF!) but it's an awful example of a breakfast cereal attempting to be what it can never be; namely Cookie Crisp I *guess* it's supposed to taste like chocolate chip cookies with milk added but to me it just tastes like bland, dry grain biscuits injected with sugar.
You so funny. Swedish fish are gummy candies. They're nasty but not fishy.
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Old 11-08-2019, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror View Post
Rogue Brewing has teamed up with other Oregon based businesses like Voodoo donuts. Some people love it, but many do not, YMMV A not complete list:

- Voodoo Maple Bacon Porter
- Voodoo Grape Guerrilla Ale
- Voodoo Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana
- Voodoo Lemon Chiffon Crueller
My first thought was "Yum, I'd love a Maple Bacon Porter donut"...

But the way you started the sentence with "Rogue Brewing has..." makes me assume you mean the flip side. A Maple and Bacon flavored Porter? That's not too bad*, but a GRAPE ale, or a Beer with Chocolate Peanut Butter AND Bananas? That's horrendous.


*had a Maple Porter at the MN State Fair that came with a thick piece of bacon as a swizzle stick.
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Old 11-08-2019, 06:46 PM
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My first thought was "Yum, I'd love a Maple Bacon Porter donut"...

But the way you started the sentence with "Rogue Brewing has..." makes me assume you mean the flip side. A Maple and Bacon flavored Porter? That's not too bad*, but a GRAPE ale, or a Beer with Chocolate Peanut Butter AND Bananas? That's horrendous.


*had a Maple Porter at the MN State Fair that came with a thick piece of bacon as a swizzle stick.
Yup, beer. Bacon on a donut is weird enough for most people, putting both of those in beer. I had it and it was not my taste but not the worst beer I've had.

They also make the (non-branded) Beard Beer. It only sounds gross, it's not like you're getting a helping of dandruff.
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Old 11-08-2019, 07:38 PM
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Didn't this company once make dill pickle-flavored soda? That couldn't have lasted very long.

https://www.jonessoda.com/collections/all

About 10 years ago, Doritos had a mystery flavor labeled something like "X-13" and was actually cheeseburger pickle. It would have been OK if the pickle flavor didn't stick to your tongue for hours afterwards, something I heard from quite a few people, and experienced myself, and it was quite unpleasant.
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Old 11-08-2019, 07:43 PM
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Nobody's mentioned Orbitz yet? (The beverage, not the travel website.) I actually liked those.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbitz_(drink)
  #23  
Old 11-08-2019, 07:57 PM
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Few years ago some dog bisquits came out called 'Scooby Snax'
Big picture of Scooby Doo on the box. The box was similar in size to a cereal box. The lil'wrekker pitched a tantrum in Piggly Wiggly 'cause I wouldn't buy her ScoobyDoo cereal.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:15 PM
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Does anyone remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pies from circa 1990? I've heard they were actually pretty good (my mom would never buy them for me), but their slogan was "Fresh from the sewer to you!" or something like that. Claiming your product came from the sewer doesn't exactly make it sound appetizing, even if that was where the Ninja Turtles were supposed to live.

Last edited by WildaBeast; 11-08-2019 at 08:16 PM.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:16 PM
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Didn't this company once make dill pickle-flavored soda? That couldn't have lasted very long.

https://www.jonessoda.com/collections/all

About 10 years ago, Doritos had a mystery flavor labeled something like "X-13" and was actually cheeseburger pickle. It would have been OK if the pickle flavor didn't stick to your tongue for hours afterwards, something I heard from quite a few people, and experienced myself, and it was quite unpleasant.
Couple of years ago, Jones did a Turkey Day Six-Pack: Cranberry Sauce Soda, Sweet Potato Soda, Gravy Soda, and of course turkey flavored. I was tempted, then remembered that I like my guests.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:17 PM
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A relatively nearby brewer recently came out with Saturday Morning beer, which supposedly tastes like Lucky Charms. Haven't tried it, much less found where to buy any.

Last edited by Skywatcher; 11-08-2019 at 08:18 PM.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:36 PM
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I tried Swedish Fish flavored Oreos once. Never again. In fact, I'll never eat any flavor of Oreo besides original based on that one godawful Swedish Fish flavor. I don't ever need my Oreos to taste like anything but Oreos.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
You so funny. Swedish fish are gummy candies. They're nasty but not fishy.
The above post was the post to which I was responding. You can see how I got confused lol.

Last edited by Ambivalid; 11-08-2019 at 09:37 PM.
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Old 11-08-2019, 10:02 PM
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Atari Hashteroids!

https://www.polygon.com/2014/7/1/586...mes-for-dennys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcMDB2UrPHQ
  #29  
Old 11-08-2019, 10:15 PM
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Many years ago, the German chocolate brand Milka had a special edition milk-chocolate bar with a Coca-Cola-flavoured filling.

It was one of those rare occasions where all of my roomies felt compelled to take a second bite just to fully appreciate how horrible it actually was.
  #30  
Old 11-08-2019, 11:13 PM
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I figured this website would include tomato flavored Jell-O on the list. It didn't, but some of the other discontinued flavors make up for it. That apple flavor actually sounds pretty good, as does strawberry kiwi.

https://11points.com/used-celery-jel...ell-o-flavors/

Here's one of my own favorite You Tubers making tomato aspic. It was pointed out in the comments that she could have saved a lot of time by using V-8 Juice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5JM-aXAo4o
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:16 PM
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Here's a list of 11 discontinued Oreo flavors. One of my Facebook friends who admits to a love for candy corn tried that flavor, and said they were vile. Her teenage sons wouldn't eat them either; what does THAT tell you?

https://11points.com/11-weirdest-fla...eos-ever-made/
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Old 11-09-2019, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
Few years ago some dog bisquits came out called 'Scooby Snax'
Big picture of Scooby Doo on the box. The box was similar in size to a cereal box. The lil'wrekker pitched a tantrum in Piggly Wiggly 'cause I wouldn't buy her ScoobyDoo cereal.
They have human cookie versions though. My daughter is constantly asking me to buy them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildaBeast View Post
Does anyone remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pies from circa 1990? I've heard they were actually pretty good (my mom would never buy them for me), but their slogan was "Fresh from the sewer to you!" or something like that. Claiming your product came from the sewer doesn't exactly make it sound appetizing, even if that was where the Ninja Turtles were supposed to live.
Was it like a moon pie thing? I loved them but I don't know if they hold up.
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Old 11-09-2019, 05:51 PM
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The above post was the post to which I was responding. You can see how I got confused lol.
Haha, I guess not everyone is familiar with Swedish Fish. They're gummy, fruit flavored, fish shaped snacks that are actually pretty good, even though they're way stickier than gummy bears and must be horrible for your teeth. But they are terrible as Oreos. Every other flavored Oreo I've tried has been disappointing too, despite being more expensive than original Oreos, though the Swedish Fish flavor was definitely the worst.
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Old 11-09-2019, 11:17 PM
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i remeber the ninja turtle pies by hostess .... it was just vanilla filling dyed green ...... looked like toy slime when it oozed out of the shell .......


speaking of oreos they make or used to a disgusting oreo ceral......... it has the fakest chocolate taste since chocolate now and laters
  #35  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:55 PM
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The TMNT pies were great! They weren’t like moon pies they were like Hostess fruit pies but with a green-colored vanilla pudding inside. Popovers are the common name I think?

I disagree with whoever says ice cream truck character pops are bad. They all taste the same, I’ll give you that, but they are just sherbert flavored and somewhat shaped like characters.

I do agree that all the 80s character cereals were shit. Didn’t stop us from trying them tho
  #36  
Old 11-10-2019, 02:50 AM
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they still have character cereals... they had a star war one that was lucky charms just with star wars shapes ..... I remember at one time in the 80s they had these star wars cookies that if you saved enough "star points" you could buy a neat set of starwars glasses that are probably worth something these days ..........


Oh most stuff based on sodas end up horrible as well... from gum (it was when "liquid centers" were the thing) to pop tarts ........well the pop-tarts didnt have much flavor ...... although the various flavored crush drink straws actually taste like what there supposed to more or less ...
  #37  
Old 11-10-2019, 03:56 AM
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The TMNT pies were great! They weren’t like moon pies they were like Hostess fruit pies but with a green-colored vanilla pudding inside. Popovers are the common name I think?
That's what I meant, I guess I had no clue what a moon pie was and confusing it with another thing. Specifically what I'm thinking about are basically pastry calzones filled with apple sauce or something, except the TMNT ones were "ooze."
  #38  
Old 11-10-2019, 09:48 AM
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Couple of years ago, Jones did a Turkey Day Six-Pack: Cranberry Sauce Soda, Sweet Potato Soda, Gravy Soda, and of course turkey flavored. I was tempted, then remembered that I like my guests.
My brother bought these for me as a gag gift, and that term has never been more accurate. After Thanksgiving dinner, we opened them and passed them around.

I started with the turkey one, took a sip, and then concentrated very hard for about 30 seconds on not throwing up everywhere. I swear one of the ingredients was an emetic.

After that, I couldn't even look at the others, not even the cranberry sauce soda, without feeling my gorge rise. This is the only time in my life I've reacted to a food/drink that way.

I remember seeing something on the ingredients list, some weird-sounding chemical, that I'd never seen before (I vaguely remember sodium proprionate, but it was years ago. Propionic acid is supposed to have a nasty odor, so maybe it was that). It was in all the sodas, and may be the culprit.

As for Ralston, a lot of their cereals were weird and discontinued, but some are still around. I remember as a kid seeing that Chex was made by the same company that made our cat's kibble, and having a lot of fun with that fact.
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