Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:55 AM
Johnny Ecks is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 462

AI text generator


Remember a few months ago Elon Musk announced that he wouldn’t be releasing a AI text generator because of it’s ability to creat fake news stories on demand? Well, it’s been released-

https://talktotransformer.com/

The product varies between pure comedy and indistinguishable from real news, but it’s fun to play with.
For example, entering “The cat lovers of America announced today”

Returned a result:

The cat lovers of America announced today that they have created a "cat club" to promote responsible cat ownership and education. "We're not here to tell you you have to adopt a cat, and if you don't, you don't have to. But there are things you should do every day to encourage your cat to be healthy, happy, and well-cared for," said Tasha, the leader of the organization.

"We've spent our time talking to the cat community and explaining what responsible cat ownership means," Tasha added. "We want to create a space where cats can be embraced and cuddly, and we want people to see the love behind the act. We want people to think, 'Oh, that's a cute cat.'"
  #2  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:19 AM
pulykamell is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: SW Side, Chicago
Posts: 48,098
My attempt was somewhat interesting, I guess (First sentence was the seed.):

I was sitting at the bar when the devil came in and sat next to me. I asked him, "How much?" He replied, "You know how much I charge." I said, "I can't afford this." He replied, "Oh, then come over there and try it!" So I went over there and I tried it. I thought, "Wow, this is a real drink." I tasted the drink and said, "It's not good at all." He said, "How much did you pay for it?" I said, "Well, I just bought it from you, but I thought, I can't pay you back." He said, "Well, I'm going to give you a free drink!" So I bought it and when I was about to pay, the bartender said, "What's that?" I said, "Well, that's a free drink." "No," he said, "you can't have it." So I said, "How do you know I paid for it?"

Last edited by pulykamell; 11-09-2019 at 10:20 AM.
  #3  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:22 AM
markn+ is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: unknown; Speed: exactly 0
Posts: 2,780
I tried the first line of The Hobbit. I don't think novelists have anything to worry about.

Quote:

In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit. No one knew what he did there, for he was poor and kept himself to himself. One day when he was deep in thought, he heard a noise, and peered into the hole to find that it was just the hobbits, who had been playing in it. He was frightened and ran away, and soon found that there were many more of them than he had imagined, and they began to peck at the earth, and dig in it, and build in it, and dig under it. Then the hobbits grew afraid, and thought they would run away. But a little later they went back and found that the hole was now full of water, and the water had risen all the way to the top of the hole, and they had to stay there for a long time in the mud and the cold, and the water ran into their food. Finally the water became so bad that the hobbits had to go deeper into the hole,
  #4  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:27 AM
madsircool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,802
Donald Trump and his small penis...

Quote:
Donald Trump and his small penis


Donald Trump is a misogynist who has made his penis the centerpiece of his campaign for the White House. A number of female reporters, including Megyn Kelly of Fox News, have questioned Trump's mental health and fitness for office because of it. His penis has become a central part of the campaign because Trump has made it a central part of his campaign for the presidency. It was the subject of his first press conference after clinching the Republican nomination and is featured prominently in his "I've got the world's greatest people" slogan, which he released on June 16, 2015.

"The only people that care about my little "pussy" are the thousands of fake Twitter followers, the millions of dollars in free press, and the five minutes of fame I get on TV & Twitter every day. The only people who care about my little "pussy" are the low-life chumps that live in our apartments with their mother's maiden name
  #5  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:30 AM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 22,356
Quote:
Nursing homes in America may be facing significant problems with the opioid crisis. Many of them have closed their doors for the last two years, while some have stopped taking the medications, while others are using heroin instead. Many of these patients need medical support to manage their addiction, and they may be having trouble finding any type of support at all. But thanks to the National Comprehensive Care Act (NCCA) of 2000, many of these patients who are struggling to survive are not without health insurance.
*snort"

This one came up when I typed in "angry birds."

Quote:
Angry birds' attacks on people, domestic animals and other animals have caused more than 7,500 deaths worldwide.

A new study, published in the journal PLoS One, examines the most effective way to deter these birds of prey.

Previous research has indicated that baiting with small live or dead birds, and then letting them hunt down larger birds, will deter some birds from flying close to homes, or from attacking humans.

But the new study suggests that these methods only work if the larger birds are not able to see the small birds.
  #6  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:32 AM
madsircool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,802
On the other hand this one could be a real news story..except for using offseason for regular season

Quote:
The Raiders win the Super Bowl


In what's becoming a common theme this offseason, the New England Patriots come into the AFC title game with an outstanding defense and a quarterback who can lead them to the big one. On the other hand, the Oakland Raiders have a defense that is on the verge of a major regression, and a quarterback who has the tools to be great, but also one who is trying to find his way as he gets older and more comfortable in the NFL. The Raiders will go into the game with a young team, but they have plenty of experience to draw from, and more importantly, more weapons than they've had in recent years. The question is whether they can turn that experience into a successful season or if their defense will continue to struggle.


The Patriots will look to a dominant defense to carry them through. They'll need to find a way to slow down the rushing attack of the Raiders' offense (which could be a major problem) and force the Raiders
  #7  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:19 AM
Shagnasty is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2000
Posts: 27,435
Kim Dardashian releases a new sex tape:

Kim Dardashian releases a new sex tape. After the initial shock, I get to see more of the Dardashian family and their lives. While I like the fact that she did not keep her mouth shut about the details of her family life, the film is a little bit too focused on her and not enough on her boyfriend. When she is not getting into sex with other men, her brother is running around in his underwear and is not even trying to hide it.

Last edited by Shagnasty; 11-09-2019 at 11:20 AM.
  #8  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:41 AM
Darren Garrison's Avatar
Darren Garrison is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 11,933
The cat


Quote:
The cat had its tail docked, which meant that the tail had to go. This was a very painful procedure. I had to take the cat in the morning to the vet, which meant I couldn't leave the house for about an hour or so.

There was a cat shelter nearby, and I was able to see a couple cats and a young boy. I was really impressed by how the boy had such a good attitude to his situation, as he seemed quite well adjusted to everything.

I was there to take photos of the other cats and the boy. I took a lot of pictures of the cat, which were really quite bad.

At the end of the day, I decided that I didn't want to take the cat home, because if it was my cat, it would be at the veterinarian for another four months. That's when I decided to leave.

The cat's tail had to be docked. This was
  #9  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:02 PM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 22,356
Quote:
Originally Posted by madsircool View Post
Donald Trump and his small penis...

Quote:
Donald Trump and his small penis


Donald Trump is a misogynist who has made his penis the centerpiece of his campaign for the White House. A number of female reporters, including Megyn Kelly of Fox News, have questioned Trump's mental health and fitness for office because of it. His penis has become a central part of the campaign because Trump has made it a central part of his campaign for the presidency. It was the subject of his first press conference after clinching the Republican nomination and is featured prominently in his "I've got the world's greatest people" slogan, which he released on June 16, 2015.

"The only people that care about my little "pussy" are the thousands of fake Twitter followers, the millions of dollars in free press, and the five minutes of fame I get on TV & Twitter every day. The only people who care about my little "pussy" are the low-life chumps that live in our apartments with their mother's maiden name
Are you sure this isn't an actual news story?
  #10  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:04 PM
madsircool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,802
Putin sex tape found




In case the name doesn't ring a bell, it's a long-running, ongoing, major, well-documented scandal in the world of political journalism, which you've probably heard of. The allegations that surfaced in the past several months, led to Donald Trump's eventual firing of his campaign manager, and ultimately, to the appointment of a special counsel in the ongoing Russia investigation. It's the biggest scandal of the Trump administration so far and is now being investigated by several congressional committees as well as a special prosecutor. It also has the potential to destroy the President's reputation as well.

In late August, a tape allegedly from the Russian President's sex life was reportedly found. A report in BuzzFeed described it as "the most damning evidence yet" that Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin are "bromancing" and "having a really good time."
  #11  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:05 PM
madsircool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,802
Quote:
Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
Are you sure this isn't an actual news story?
Fake news is more real than real news.
  #12  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:12 PM
pulykamell is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: SW Side, Chicago
Posts: 48,098
Damn, politics is being injected everywhere these days, even AI generators. I seeded it with "The Devil Came Down to Georgia" and it took a political turn I was not at all expecting:

The Devil came down to Georgia this week to try to convince one Republican and one Democrat in Congress to vote against a funding bill for Planned Parenthood. The goal of the operation was to make life miserable for House members who did not vote for the bill. They succeeded, in a major way. The bill passed easily in the House but the Senate isn't likely to agree to the same thing in a vote expected sometime next week. And the bill is so bad it will probably be vetoed. The president, for once, has no excuse.
  #13  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:15 PM
Chronos's Avatar
Chronos is offline
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 85,514
An interesting take on the Bible:

Quote:
In the beginning there was no Jesus. Jesus was the son of David. But he was a son of Mary, the daughter of Zechariah and Elisabeth, and God's beloved, who came to dwell in the bosom of her father David. The whole world had not yet heard of him and so he had to come. This story, as all the other stories, is part of the Old Testament, but the meaning is a Christian one. Jesus was the perfect man of God. He was perfect by nature because he had the Word, the Word made flesh, in him. This Word was the Spirit of God. The Word was also our true God. He was the Christ, or Messiah, who would take up the work of his Father in the work of salvation and set himself up in his place as the Savior of the world. He was the true God. The only one who could say that.
And it does better than I expected with nonsense:
Quote:
Variable speed corn muffins is great for breakfast on the go. They're baked in an 8×8 inch pan with a muffin tin, and they bake in the oven for 10 minutes. You can also make them the day before and freeze them in an airtight container.

The secret is to keep a large bowl of milk ready in the oven (I use my 8×8 inch pan) so that the eggs can be beaten after the pan is ready. I use 3 large eggs and 2 teaspoons of baking powder. The eggs get beaten until light and fluffy. Then they get mixed with the dry ingredients to make them a bit runnier. It's not necessary but I like it just in case. When the batter is ready, it's poured into the muffin tin and baked at 325 degrees for about 25 minutes.

When I made this corn muffins recipe it was my first time making corn muffins, and I wanted to try a more traditional muff...
More than nothing happens, but not much more:
Quote:
xyzzyy.jpg" alt="" /> <div style="width: 100%; margin: 0px; float: left; text-align: center; width: 100%; padding: 20px; border: 1px solid #ccc;"> <span style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: bold; background-color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #ccc;"> </span> <div style="width: 100%; margin: 0px; float: left; text-align: center; width: 100%; padding: 20px; border: 1px solid #ccc;"> <span style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: bold; background-color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #ccc;"> </span> <a href="#" class="s1y1" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_
Or if I just pound the keyboard:
Quote:
lwhefry [4/11/2015 11:40:58 PM] Toasty Biggums: he is on the alliance council [4/11/2015 11:41:01 PM] Toasty Biggums: he's pretty active in general [4/11/2015 11:41:24 PM] Toasty Biggums: but he is the only one that really knows what he is doing and he can take a lot of flak [4/11/2015 11:41:36 PM] Toasty Biggums: and there are people in this coalition that really need a hand' he's like our de facto leader [4/11/2015 11:42:01 PM] Toasty Biggums: so if he gets kicked from the council, I will step in and do something [4/11/2015 11:42:26 PM] Lquid Drisseg: ok' if he wants to step

Last edited by Chronos; 11-09-2019 at 12:16 PM.
  #14  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:15 PM
madsircool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,802
God what a great way to spend a slow Saturday morning

madsircool sex tape: comedy or horror?




MADSIRCOOL: A few years back I was invited to a party where people were doing this, and they were doing this stuff, so I was just like, "Yeah I know this shit." And so they put this tape together of us doing sex stuff with each other, and we all sort of laughed and started talking about it, and then they put out that the tape was fake, and then they were like, "So why didn't you guys do this when you were 18?" I think it was because they were all over-sexed and probably thought this was a fun prank, and they wanted us to do the same thing, so I was like, "I don't think I have a good excuse, but yeah, I don't have one." So I was like, "Oh, that's why you guys had the tape."


The first time I saw that tape was when I saw it in the office
  #15  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:15 PM
pulykamell is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: SW Side, Chicago
Posts: 48,098
Jesus, this one got dark in a hurry (spaces between sentences left intact as given on the website):


Mary had a little lamb


The next day she told me her name was Mary. I found out I was a shepherd


And I've been telling my sheep to beware of wolves


And when the sheep ran away from me


And the wolves began to feast


I told the sheep I was hungry and they had no meat


And I took out my knife


And I stabbed the lamb in the neck


And the sheep cried out in terror


I laughed and laughed


And I was still laughing


Then I stabbed it in the heart


And the sheep cried out in terror


And I laughed and laughed


Then I stabbed it in the chest


And the sheep cried out in terror


And I laughed and laughed


Then I stabbed it in the throat


And the sheep cried out in terror


And I laughed and laughed


Then I stabbed it in the belly


And the sheep
  #16  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:18 PM
Chronos's Avatar
Chronos is offline
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 85,514
And I need to change the combination on my luggage:
Quote:
correct horse battery staple. There was nothing else, nothing that could have replaced this one.

For years I have been trying to find out why people don't use the horse battery staple. The question is usually the same: Why don't people use the horse battery staple? I have always believed that if the horse battery staple was universally understood as the ideal way to store and power a horse, then a horse could be a truly practical power source. It would not need to be wired into a horse battery.

The horse battery staple is one of those ideas that is so obvious that it is rarely thought through or considered. You probably have a horse in your barn, or even your horse might have a battery in its hoof. Perhaps the battery needs recharging. Perhaps you are taking care of your horse and wish to use it for other purposes. You might want to take it in for a cleaning or to get it out of the rain. All of these purposes require
  #17  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:29 PM
madsircool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,802
Einstein: Hippy or bad hair day?


Marilyn Monroe: Not quite so bad hair day.


Lennon: Oh yes, I am so sure.


Pablo Picasso: I'm thinking of going out into the great outdoors.


Einstein: I'll take you for a ride in my convertible.


Lennon: Oh that's too bad. You're too nice.


Einstein: You're not too nice. You're just a little too nice.


Lennon: You know, there's a thing. If you ask a person what makes a man attractive to women, they will tell you that he has to be good-looking. Well, that's all right. Men do have to be good-looking, but it's not as important as the fact that he's a good person.


Einstein: I think I've got a really nice face.


Lennon: I think you might
  #18  
Old 11-09-2019, 01:12 PM
Darren Garrison's Avatar
Darren Garrison is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 11,933
This was from just the word "Frogs."
Quote:
Frogs are extremely intelligent. The fact that frogs are smart makes it possible for them to learn new things. For example, if you want to learn more about how to grow rice plants, you should start with learning about how to care for them, because you can learn the basic information about that. But, if you do so, and later you find that the plant you have been growing is no longer a good one, you can easily correct it. So, it is very important to know what things are the most important to do.

How can you tell the difference between frogs that have gone wild and those that are living in the wild?

It is very hard to tell. The most effective way is to look at the color of the frog. It is very hard to tell if they are wild or not. In fact, if they have been domesticated and have grown up, they are more similar to wild animals. But, if they are wild
  #19  
Old 11-09-2019, 01:27 PM
Darren Garrison's Avatar
Darren Garrison is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 11,933
So I plugged in the first sentence from the description on the web page. Pretty dull stuff, but I nearly blacked out from laughing when I reached the part about what the cat was doing.
Quote:
See how a modern neural network completes your text. This is what you get when you put a neural network with 1000 neurons on the job. It does this with a simple language model and a linear transformation on the inputs.
This particular model is a convolutional neural network. What this means is that we are taking an input image and giving it to the network to learn about what it can see. That is to say we take a picture of a cat and give the network an image of a cat's mouth, mouth position, and a mouth color. The network has no idea what this cat is doing, other than that it's eating a bag of rice. The network's input is a single image, one cat. We can apply different types of convolutional neural networks to the output of this, the cat, and the same for the input. You can think of the convolutional network as being like a filter.
  #20  
Old 11-09-2019, 01:54 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
Quote:
Slartibartfast: Well I can't say for sure, but I do know that they're being worked on by different people with different ideas.

The big thing to me is that we were talking about the whole issue of how to approach a single entity, something that was designed to be a single entity. This is the one of the questions that I've been getting over and over again over the past week or so; people really want to see something that's not just a single entity with a few tweaks. It's like I said; there's no reason that we can't have more things. I know that the engine is able to handle a single entity and if we were to make a new single entity, I don't know how you'd deal with it. What's the point of doing it? But when I think about how many people play the game and how many people have made modifications to it since the last time I talked about it, we have to
Fits him quite well, don't you think?
  #21  
Old 11-09-2019, 01:59 PM
Darren Garrison's Avatar
Darren Garrison is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 11,933
Straight Dope:
Quote:
Straight Dope" or "Racist").

It is this sort of thinking that led me to conclude that I would never trust any man who wasn't married to someone who worked as an attorney.

The same principle also led me to distrust any man who didn't use the internet when discussing his issues with women. The internet was simply not something you just learned to use. It was something you had to work for and get in order to obtain. And as soon as I learned to use it, my issues with women evaporated.

I was always a feminist, but I was also a feminist who believed in equality. I was a feminist who believed that there were certain social conventions that we women should never violate, no matter the cost. And I was a feminist who believed that I should have the right to tell my own stories, no matter what any man thought of them.

There are many feminists and women who would argue that the internet should
  #22  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:04 PM
MacTech is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
Posts: 6,559
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side. A lot of my body is numb."

The next morning, his body was being pumped. It felt like someone had put a giant needle into his body.

"They've got these big machines and they're moving them around, and there's some of that awful, awful, awful smell going on in there and then all of a sudden, he's out and they've got all the pieces of me and I'm coming home."

As he recovered, he was kept in a room with a large window looking over the street and then eventually moved to another room.

"My head was a little bit in the room, but the main thing was I had a couple of tubes down my throat, and they put a catheter in to put this catheter up into my esophagus, and that's a way of giving you the medicine that comes into the tubes. And then a little bit of something else"

Life, don't talk to me about life. I just want to live.

"I'm not going to live my life thinking that I'm the only person in the world. That's the problem. It's my own fault.

"I can live without it."

But a couple of days later, she did not know who she was:

I'm going to wake up and realise I'm still in the hospital. I'm still going to be in the hospital, but I don't know that I'm in the hospital anymore. I don't know whether I'm in the hospital, the morgue, in the morgue waiting to be released or in jail and then I'll wake up. It's been a week, and I'm not sure. I know, when I was in jail, I was in jail for almost eight hours. I couldn't get the phone to work, they cut me off. I didn't get any kind of explanation.

Oh frettled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me a sodden bog." And it was true that the old gaunt face was quite a bog to him. It had been a long time since he had looked at a face so old and so black and so withered.

And so now he thought it would do to sit up and look at it, for it seemed to have an air of power about it; and besides, he had often wanted to be as old as those grey walls and roofs of those ancient houses. There were a score of them, he knew, but he had not thought about their height, the thickness of their timbers, the size of their rooms.

For there are old houses which are not big, and those old houses have no air of being old; and old houses do not have their walls covered with books. So now he sat up, and looked round him with an eye that was a great deal too big to see. And there were many faces on the wall.

We've got movie sign! We've got movie sign! We've got movie sign!

You're not going to be able to make the show. And there's nothing I can do about that. So don't bother me about that, okay?

You're not going to be able to do it because the show isn't about me, so it doesn't matter that I'm not in the movie.



I love you guys. I am so happy for you. You're going to be great, and I hope you're all really excited. I'm going to keep my head down and try to make it a great experience for you all.

Thanks so much for being here. I'm so happy for you. I have so much more to say and have plans for how it's going to be a really cool thing. I'm not sure yet, but we'll figure it out. I'm really happy for you guys. I am so happy
__________________
Freakazoid> dumb, Dumb, DUMB!, NEVER tell the villain how to trap you in a cage!
Gutierrez> You probably shouldn't have helped us build it either...
F!> I know, DUMB!
  #23  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:15 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

"I've been doing this a long time and we've seen a lot. This is the craziest thing I've ever seen, but I'll give it my best shot."

Boyd also offered an assessment of the state of the race in the race.

"I don't think I've seen this," he said.

"I have been very surprised, the pace, but we're working to keep up."
  #24  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:34 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want" just gave me what reads like a script for a phone sex worker.
  #25  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:43 PM
Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 82,868
Okay, the program can't handle caffeine.

My prompt: I was drinking a cup of tea.

The response:

Quote:
I was drinking a cup of tea. I am still a young man. You can't do anything about this. I am still a young man. What I do I do with my own hands. I'm an idiot. I can't believe my eyes. This is so ridiculous. This is so ridiculous. That was a great play. I don't think it would work out. I'm a little out of my depth. I'm a little out of my depth. I'm a little out of my depth. I'm a little out of my depth. I'm a little out of my depth. I'm a little out of my depth. I'm a little
I swear there was nothing in that tea.

Last edited by Little Nemo; 11-09-2019 at 02:44 PM.
  #26  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:45 PM
Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 82,868
Tried it again.

Quote:
I was drinking a cup of tea. Suddenly, it turned into a fire."

But she's not alone.

"The situation has been the same for me. Some people are lucky and can be at a hospital. Some people get to the hospital, but they need urgent treatment because it was too late," she said. "Some people don't want to go to the hospital because they think it's unsafe, so they die in the street or die in their house."

Called the "motorway accident", the phenomenon is particularly shocking in the impoverished countryside where poverty and lack of infrastructure are a common problem.

One young farmer, a father of eight, told Al Jazeera: "I lost all of my family, including my father and seven of his brothers, in the fire that occurred at the factory
  #27  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:50 PM
John DiFool's Avatar
John DiFool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 18,323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
And it does better than I expected with nonsense:

Quote:
Variable speed corn muffins
The hell with how to cook them, I want to know how quickly they'll get through my system...
  #28  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:54 PM
Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 82,868
Okay, this one is good. I used an actual headline. Now guess which of the following is the real opening sentence in the article and which one is the computer generated fake.

Trump launches African-American outreach effort for 2020

Quote:
President Donald Trump is planning to make his first visit to the historically black campus at Howard University on July 12, according to multiple reports.
Quote:
During the 2016 campaign, candidate Donald Trump stood in front of largely white crowds and asked black voters to consider, "What the hell do you have to lose?"
SPOILER:
The first one is the fake. I think the only clue is the July date.
  #29  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:01 PM
carnivorousplant is offline
KB not found. Press any key
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 59,254
Nor have biologists any reason to worry.

Neolamprologus multifasciatus is one of the small shell-dwelling cichlids endemic to Lake Tanganyika. They live and breed in a variety of water masses, but usually only in the lower reaches of the lake, where it is warmer and more acidic. They are quite large for a freshwater species of their size and are a serious predator of other shellfishes.
Cichlids like this one are common in Lake Tanganyika.
There is a very interesting relationship between the male and female cichlids of the genus Neolamprologus. While the male is able to fertilize all of his eggs, the female is capable of fertilizing only one of them at a time. If
  #30  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:04 PM
carnivorousplant is offline
KB not found. Press any key
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 59,254
I love it!

"I do not intend to make New Jersey a part of this misguided process," Gov. Chris Christie said, "and the President and I will not stand idly by while our nation and our state are dragged down by the decisions of others."

The decision, which comes after more than three years of intense and at times bitter negotiations, makes the Garden State the 16th to leave the U.S. for the European Union, a move that Christie has said was necessary to "preserve our economic strength."

"I can assure you that New Jersey is, and will remain, a strong, proud, and loyal friend of the United States," he added.

The state will now begin negotiations with other states to join a new state association known as E.U.
  #31  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:12 PM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 22,356
Bite my shiny metal ass.

"This is the perfect moment," I say. I've got a hand held with the other in my pants, but the motion is a bit awkward and I look a bit like a bad movie monster that wants to escape the cinema. I try to relax.

"Do you want to be alone or with me?"

It takes me a few seconds to gather my thoughts. The words seem to echo around inside of me, a thousand voices at once. I've always been comfortable with strangers, but I never thought I'd be able to speak to anyone. "What about me?"

"Me?" The man nods. "Yeah."

I laugh. "I guess I can go. It's going to be a lot less uncomfortable if you're the one

Disco sucks...the other day at dinner I realized this to my dismay. I was wearing a tie and the guy next to me had on a bow tie. I couldn't figure out how the hell he had the balls to wear a bow tie without being embarrassed, but now I know it was because he didn't know any better. Now I'm going to put the bow tie on that guy. Just to make him understand. I'll just hold my hand out and give him a hug. That's the kind of respect I demand.
  #32  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:23 PM
MacTech is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
Posts: 6,559
Dehydrated water is a great substitute to help you conserve. To use dehydrated water, mix the ingredients together and pour into a clean container. It will make a very quick and easy homemade solution to the deodorizing issue.

Dehydrated water can help you deodorize a room or a whole apartment in a short amount of time. It also acts as a natural deodorant. When used in a large enough amount, it can actually provide a natural, non-perfumed deodorant. Just make sure that the amount used is at least half of the quantity in the packet.

Dehydrated water is a great alternative to purchasing deodorant in bulk. If you are like me and you are an extremely lazy person, you will probably find it hard to find time

Advanced Tea Substitute

To use, fill your blender with about two tablespoons of loose tea leaves. Blend for three seconds, or until the mixture is frothy. Add water as needed. Add a little water to help dissolve any impurities, and use more tea if needed. Serve with a spoon.


Advertisement

4. Cucumber, Tomato, or Onion Soup

One of the things that makes soup so comforting is its natural blend of salty and acidic flavors. And, as the name suggests, this soup is loaded with those flavors! But that's not all—in addition to the vegetables, we also add a splash of milk and a little salt.

This one sounds *delicious*…
Antimatter glazed lobster

The crustacean's head and claws are coated in tiny layers of super-heated carbon atoms, which are a thousand times hotter than the surface of the sun. These atoms are so hot that they turn water into plasma, the high-energy state that can drive nuclear fusion. (See "A Cool Fusion Superfood.")

The plasma, once released by the lobster, creates a powerful electromagnetic field that sends out the magnetic pulses that make up magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). (See the "A Cool Fusion Superfood.")

The magnetic pulses reveal structures inside the lobster's body, which then can be examined in 3-D using a series of X-ray beams. The lobsters that are fed these X-rays can be harvested and frozen, so they can be sent

4000 series Mechanoid-like robots. These robots are known for their incredible speed, agility, and strength. They can also fly.

The original robot design for the series was created by Kenji Tomizawa who was in charge of character designs for the series, including the pilot and the antagonist. He also made the original designs for all of the robots.

During production of the series, Tomizawa would create a new version of a robot each week that would be shown on television, and they were also planned to be sold in Japan as toys.

The robot designs in the series were based on the concepts and characters that Tomizawa had created in the manga. The original designs were designed by Yoshiko Ōima who drew the original drawings and designs. She was also the original artist
__________________
Freakazoid> dumb, Dumb, DUMB!, NEVER tell the villain how to trap you in a cage!
Gutierrez> You probably shouldn't have helped us build it either...
F!> I know, DUMB!
  #33  
Old 11-09-2019, 04:14 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
I fed it the parody title of Donny Junior's new book.
Quote:
Daddy, Please Love Me: How everything I do is to earn my father’s love by Donald Trump, Jr.


The whole thing is just a big, dumb lie.


Donald Trump, Jr. and Melania Trump

I've said this before. There's no way they are going to make it work with Ivanka Trump.

Ivanka Trump: How could a mother and father allow their daughter to be surrounded by people who have so little respect for women?

It's impossible to think that this family is anything other than a huge distraction.

And I'd be willing to bet that if the president does anything really controversial, he might be the first president ever to be so openly hated by his own people.
  #34  
Old 11-09-2019, 06:54 PM
RioRico is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: beyond cell service
Posts: 412
It doesn't like me. I feed it a simple couplet: "My name is Joe Friday. I'm a cop." The orange bar's arrow spins for ten minutes and more but returns nothing. Sort of like calling the EPA for information. And this is NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, when a driven author should complete 50000 narrative words in November. I've many IRL impediments to workflow. How can I finish in time without using cheats like this?
  #35  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:01 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
Sometimes you need to keep having it Generate Another to get something good. After about five tries, I got this:
Quote:
My name is Joe Friday. I'm a cop. And I'm gay." He also posted a photo of himself with a badge on his uniform shirt.

"I'm going to do my best to stay positive and optimistic. I'm going to try and do everything I can to help the community. I want to do everything I can to make people feel comfortable," he said.

He also wanted to let others know they are not alone.

"I'm trying to be very clear about this. I think it's important for anyone who is still scared to come out of the closet," he said.

Friday's story went viral after it was featured on CNN's Out2Drive program.

"He's in good hands, I'm sure. He's a very well-liked person," said one Twitter user
  #36  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:34 PM
RioRico is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: beyond cell service
Posts: 412
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skywatcher View Post
Sometimes you need to keep having it Generate Another to get something good.
I've now hit Generate Another a couple dozen times (with intervals in-between) and had zero output. Is another instance of this generator available?
  #37  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:42 PM
Personal is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: The Beach
Posts: 2,038
John Lennon and Paul McCartney were in The Beatles. A lot of people know the band.

But the true story of how they became members of The Beatles is much more mysterious. In fact, it may even be less famous than the group's story.

Lennon's and McCartney's roles in the group's creation is largely unrecorded. They never played on any of the band's first five albums.

They may have met briefly in 1965 at the Royal College of Music in London when they both attended classes there.

The two met again at Abbey Road studios in London that same year.

As the group's first albums were released, both men were in the studio with them. Lennon and McCartney may have also played some acoustic guitar on the songs.

John Lennon and Paul McCartney were in The Beatles. Elvis Presley was in the Black Eyed Peas. Prince was in the Superheroes. The "Black Panther" was in the movie "Black Panther." The "Miley Cyrus Show" was on MTV.

The point is that you can be in a minority group that is considered the enemy by many people and still have a fan base because they are a different type of minority.

So when you see people saying that Beyoncé and Jay Z are the most "controversial" musicians of all time because of their race or gender, I don't have a problem with that because the fact is that they are very popular and successful.

John Lennon and Paul McCartney were in The Beatles. He's like The Fab Four.

"I love the Beatles because they changed the face of music and the world. And that's the most important thing."

This interview has been condensed and edited.
  #38  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:57 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
They tore my legs off and they threw them over there. Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there. Then they started to pull me from one end of the room to the other."

After the police arrived, they asked Mr. Pritchard if they could talk to his son.

Mr. Pritchard, a former Navy man who now lives in St. Louis, said his son was trying to escape. "He told me they were taking me to the airport," he said. "They told me they were taking me to the airport. I told him, 'I'll be right back,' but then they started kicking me and hitting me."

Mr. Pritchard said the police said that they had found explosives at the residence and that the explosives were in a metal container. They then searched the area, he said, but no explosives were found.
  #39  
Old 11-09-2019, 08:16 PM
MacTech is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
Posts: 6,559
a few more MST3K inspired ones;

He tried to kill me with a forklift," said another passenger, who was in her 20s.

Another passenger said she witnessed one man trying to lift the plane's rear tire and another man trying to run over the plane.

"I saw one person on the floor, trying to move his legs," she said. "He was trying to put it under control."

When police boarded the plane, the man who tried to get up jumped out and was detained, said Lt. Jeff Kupershmidt, a police spokesman.

Police said the passenger who tried to escape jumped from a second plane. They recovered his clothes.

The man who had attempted to escape was taken into custody for investigation of felony escape and trespassing.

Two men on board the plane tried to pull the man off

He tried to kill me with a forklift.

In a written statement, the restaurant said that the manager did not call police because he "did not believe the incident to be a crime," but said, "The situation was brought to the manager's attention and we immediately investigated the matter as we would any other incident. As an organization, we stand by our policy that we do not tolerate violence and are committed to providing a welcoming environment for all guests."

The owner and manager are not named in court papers. Neither has been charged in the criminal case.

Samantha Bergman, a former New Jersey resident who had been eating lunch with her boyfriend and daughter and who is an activist with Black Lives Matter, described what happened to her in a telephone interview Tuesday night.

I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway.

I had to take the risk.

It would be a gamble for sure... but a risk worth taking if it got me a little closer to the truth.

But in my desperation, I'd forgotten the warning I'd read earlier.

The real truth was that I had no idea what I was looking for.
__________________
Freakazoid> dumb, Dumb, DUMB!, NEVER tell the villain how to trap you in a cage!
Gutierrez> You probably shouldn't have helped us build it either...
F!> I know, DUMB!
  #40  
Old 11-09-2019, 08:30 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
Well, this is just looney.
Quote:
Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

WABBIT SEASON!


Wabbit season!

DUCK SEASON!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

TURKEY SEASON!

Turkey season!

DUCK SEASON!

Duck season!

WATTOON SEASON!

Wabbit season!

Turkey season!

BALT, THE CAT!

BALT THE CAT!

BALT THE CAT!

BALT THE CAT!
  #41  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:02 PM
Jet Jaguar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Monster Island
Posts: 1,527
I typed "The Starless Sea lies to the east of Thanlan." and got this:

Quote:
The Starless Sea lies to the east of Thanlan.The land around it is covered in clouds of dust from the great city of Kalivan. Many have tried to find it, but no one has ever returned.

Dormant for millennia, it has not stirred in a thousand years. But now the city of Kalivan, under the sway of the sorcerer Ulthuan, stirs to life. It is a city that no longer waits for the sun to rise. It has its own sun, one that has been reborn through the manipulation of Chaos.

But Ulthuan has other plans for Thanlan. For the time being, the Starless Sea is the only place that offers the sorcerer's power and resources. For the first time, Ulthuan intends to open a gateway to the Starless Sea.
I want to read more, I need closure! If this were the opening scene of a MMO RPG, I suppose Ulthuan is the final boss you'll end up fighting?
  #42  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:08 PM
Kamino Neko's Avatar
Kamino Neko is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Alternate 230
Posts: 15,454
I was watching an old Simpsons rerun, so I quoted a random bit of dialogue.

Quote:
"Good evening Zolar the adulterer."

The voice was soft and soft at the same time. Zolar was startled and a smile came to his lips. "Hahaha, what a joke, who do you think you are?"

"Zolar, you're late. The main attraction of our game is starting. We have guests."

"Who is the guest?"

"Well… you know."

Zolar's face suddenly became serious. "I'm sorry. I forgot. Who are you?"

"You see, your avatar is named 'Vox". If you look up, you can find me on the map. You see me there, in the upper left corner?"

Zolar's brow furrowed. "Who are you?"

"Yes, the
Why did it stop in the middle of a sentence? I was actually getting invested!
  #43  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:16 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
We're men - manly men - we're men in tights. That's what men are supposed to be! We don't need the help of a bunch of women in our life because if we don't take care of ourselves, who will? A woman can be a great help but the fact is you've got to take care of yourself, whether it's taking a good care of your health, or doing a few things every day that are right for your body and the type of person you are. And by the way, the majority of men who are in tights - manly men - will never look better. We're just as happy and full of energy as the women that wear them. We don't need to be in tights for the women in their lives.
  #44  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:21 PM
DPRK is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 3,972
Quote:
Originally Posted by RioRico View Post
I've now hit Generate Another a couple dozen times (with intervals in-between) and had zero output. Is another instance of this generator available?
It's on github if you care to experiment with it. https://github.com/openai/gpt-2-output-dataset
With the proper setup you can also train the model using your own sample text and fine-tune the output, e.g., to generate Amazon reviews.
  #45  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:22 PM
Hoops is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 538
"Don't praggle me boy, I'll quang you proper. Shakespeare and I never let grammar interfere with expressing ourselves. Why, he said to me once--"

"Who, who?" said I. "I haven't heard of him."

"Oh, I should like to hear his name," said he, smiling; and turning to me with a broad, grave face he went on:

"I've heard a bad story about him at school, and I wish he'd come and live with us in the house, you know, with us boys. Oh, we'd be so happy and sociable. What a man he'd be--he's an ideal fellow. But you know, he's a trifle slow to come out of bed."

-----

Because I could not stop for Death
He kindly stopped for me

to take a final look at my new friend
And we parted friends for evermore
And we parted friends for evermore.
So now the last of us has vanished,
The last of us left to wander
The night alone
But we are not alone,
For there is a shadow in the sky
That waits for us to arrive
And to join it,
The shadow will wait for us to arrive
But we are not alone,
For there is a shadow in the sky
That waits for us to arrive
And we parted friends for evermore
And we parted friends for evermore.
So now I am alone,
And the sun has set on my life
And I am alone to watch,
The dark night come and go
I am alone
  #46  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:34 PM
Jet Jaguar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Monster Island
Posts: 1,527
The unpleasant greeter crushed out her cigarette and looked up. She glanced at the other tables, where everyone was busy with their own affairs.

She had to say a few words, to make sure everyone had understood. That was one of the few things she was good at. And, more importantly, that's one of the few things she was good at in the world.

Her mind began to drift back. The man on the seat to her left. The woman on the other. The one with the cat. The woman she had left. What did she know of their stories?

It wasn't until she was done that she was able to look up. The woman in the chair across from her looked down and smiled warmly.

"Hello there." She said, with a hint of nervousness in her voice. "
  #47  
Old 11-09-2019, 09:46 PM
Jophiel's Avatar
Jophiel is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Chicago suburbia
Posts: 19,475
Quote:
The squirrel climbed over a large bone and snagged hold of the hand holding the rope and pulled himself up. His arms were strong, but he was young and weak and so he had trouble standing up. He held on as best he could and the other squirrels moved away, all except one.

"Hey, we were supposed to come for you!" said the one squirrel, reaching for the rope.

"We were," said the other squirrel.

"We were. Then we ran back because of you!"

"We went," said the other squirrel. "We could not leave you here alone. Come on, let's go. We must look for something. Maybe we could find the nest, or maybe we can go back and get the eggs," said the other squirrel.
Now I want to know what happens next!
  #48  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:02 PM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 35,255
No dogs allowed. You're not our crowd.

There will be food trucks.

There will be live music.

And the lineup? There are quite a few bands and artists performing over the weekend:

Friday

- The Kite String Tangle

- Bouncing Souls

- Humble Boy

- Humbug

- Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

- Vibes for Vibes

- The Swellers

Saturday

- The Fiddlers

- The Haunting Hour

- The Mowgli's

- The Wombles

- The Humble Wombles

Sunday

- The Fiddler Brothers

- The Kitten Moth

- The Swellers
  #49  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:41 PM
Peter Morris's Avatar
Peter Morris is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The far canal
Posts: 12,818
"There are at least seven different ways to skin a cat"

Attempt one:
SPOILER:
There are at least seven different ways to skin a cat

1. The classic, the one you learn in kitten classes. The "long" way

This is the most common. You use the cat's hind legs to grab and hold the cat's tail and then, with your teeth, bite down. (Some people like to use the back of the teeth, but I find that it's easier to break the skin with the flat of your thumb rather than the pointed edge of your teeth.) The cat will struggle for a bit, but eventually it'll release its tail and begin to fall asleep.

2. The "short" way

This is basically the same as the first, but with a different "handle" that allows you to hold the cat's tail with your hand instead of your teeth. This takes more practice


attempt two
SPOILER:
There are at least seven different ways to skin a cat.

The method we're going to be showing you today is the traditional "wedge method." A "wedge method" is a method of skinning a cat that has been previously described in more detail by others. However, this is the only method that will give you a true "fist size" cat. So let's begin our journey with a traditional wedge method.

If you're new to cat hunting, or you've never tried this method, then I recommend watching our video tutorial on "How To Skin A Cat."

1. Take the cat to the edge of your patio or deck area, and hold its front paws together with one of your fingers. If the cat is sitting or lying down, the cat's feet should be close together with its legs slightly apart.


attempt three
SPOILER:
There are at least seven different ways to skin a cat

1. By taking the cat's claws and breaking them off with a hammer or a hammer and anvil

2. By cutting off the claws with scissors or a knife

3. By cutting out the nails

4. By pulling the skin off of the claws with pliers or a knife

5. By taking the claws and throwing them on the floor, with the intent of making a litter box

6. By pulling the cat's fur with pliers, with the intent of making a wig

7. By pulling the cat's fur off with pliers and putting it in a box (or a bag)

The first four of these methods are illegal, and the last is the most dangerous of them all.

In fact,
  #50  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:46 PM
blondebear is online now
Shouting Grasshopper
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Meridian/280
Posts: 14,163
Local driver finds weekend traffic worse than ever. He was driving to the mall with his wife when he saw a cop on the side of the road.

In the video, a black SUV with four officers is seen approaching the driver's side. The driver was driving with his hand on his head. The officer said, "Get out, now!"

"Are you trying to drive me off the road?" the driver asks.

"You're under arrest, now," the cop says.

The driver starts to get out of the car, but the cop tells him, "Stay in the car. Stay in the car."

The driver does not get out of the car.

A second officer gets out of the SUV and says, "If you don't leave, I'm going to get you."
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:16 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017