Straight Dope Message Board

[gigi]

Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix

This is the commercial I was talking about. There may be another version out there, but the kid is definitely saying "tuba".

I guess it's a theme then. The one I saw was the Chevy Equinox

https://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCo...inox-2017.aspx

I could definitely get a lot in there.
I can put my entire band's equipment.
Snowboard.
Surfboards.
Mountain bike.
Even the Sousaphone would fit in there.
What's a Sousaphone? 51

[singular1]

Mr. singular and I can't be the only ones that automatically respond to the Verizon's guy "hello, l'm Paul" with a violent "fuck you, Paul!" every time it comes on, right? Jeebus, I hate that asshole. 52

[Wheelz]

"WiFi. We LITERALLY cannot live without it." (for Comcast or AT&T or something)

That's not what "literally" means!!!

The overly-smug-sounding announcer even emphasizes the word "literally," then somehow gets even more annoying as the commercial goes on. 53

[Oglomott]

Any commercials for attorneys. Has anyone seen the "Pipe Lawsuit" commercial? "If you have a house built before 1975, you may have leaking pipes under your floors.
It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when".

Basically they're saying that most houses in the US will have leaking pipes at some point, and they may be able to get you damages. I feel like choking the announcer.

(What's magical about the 1975 date anyway?) 54

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix

This is the commercial I was talking about. There may be another version out there, but the kid is definitely saying "tuba".

I don't mind seeing this commercial over and over. That is one Mom I'd Like to....er....Meet.


mmm 55

[Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by Oglomott

(What's magical about the 1975 date anyway?)

Supposedly cast iron. 56

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by jaycat

Not to mention the ads where they try to convince you how sexy the Buicks are. "Oh, you're new Buick is sooo cute!" When they look exactly like everything else out there.

OMG those are so stupid. Their product is basically the exact same boring retiree crap that it's always been, they've just drastically and aggressively attempted to change perception thru advertisement alone. "Oooh, nice Buick!" Said no one, ever. The most excited response you'll get from showing off your new Buick is, "Hey, that looks dependable!" 57

[Rick Kitchen]

Originally Posted by Wheelz

"WiFi. We LITERALLY cannot live without it." (for Comcast or AT&T or something)

That's not what "literally" means!!!

The overly-smug-sounding announcer even emphasizes the word "literally," then somehow gets even more annoying as the commercial goes on.

That's Mark Wahlberg. 58

[Rick Kitchen]

Has everybody seen Mahk in those Chevy ads?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15iLHlJPp_0 59

[Wheelz]

Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen

That's Mark Wahlberg.

Really? You could have given me 100 guesses and I wouldn't have picked him out.
Anyway, still annoying. "Nope. Still nope. Now we're talking!" Bite me. 60

[Casey1505]

Anything with an owl in it. Especially ones with accents. 61

[Fiddle Peghead]

Thank God insurance commercials aren't annoying. I make my insurance buying decisions based solely on which company has the funniest ads. Nothing else matters. 62

[Darren Garrison]

Originally Posted by Casey1505

Anything with an owl in it. Especially ones with accents.

Ah-one, ah-two, ah-three. 63

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Originally Posted by Helena330

WHAT is with the two bathtubs in Cialis commercials? Two bathtubs on a beach, in the middle of what appears to be an outdoor mall, and just the very ends of them peeking in from the side of the screen on the last commercial I saw. What do two bathtubs have to do with sex??!!

My husband works for a division of the pharmaceutical company (Eli Lily), and says he recently was told the significance of the two bathtubs, but then we got interrupted and I forgot to ask! 64

[Darren Garrison]

Originally Posted by IvoryTowerDenizen

My husband works for a division of the pharmaceutical company (Eli Lily), and says he recently was told the significance of the two bathtubs, but then we got interrupted and I forgot to ask!

Ask Heathcliff. 65

[nightshadea]

TLC ads for their shows...... I started my own thread for "hair empire " .......... I thought the lady was actually 12 .....because of her voice ...... 66

[Wheelz]

Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen

That's Mark Wahlberg.

I just saw the Mark Wahlberg AT&T commercial, and it's not the one I'm talking about.

This one, it turns out, is for Xfinity, and the announcer does not appear on camera, just as a voiceover. And he's really annoying. 67

[Casey1505]

Originally Posted by Darren Garrison

Ah-one, ah-two, ah-three.

Him I like. 68

[Jeep's Phoenix]

Mitsubishi is running a weird one right now for their single room A/C units that apparently also function as a way to warp your house back to the 1950s, with Mom perpetually bustling around the kitchen in her A-line dress, grumpy Grandpa wandering around a study, daughters staying in their pretty pink room, and still-single Auntie endlessly primping in front of a mirror.

Originally Posted by nightshadea

TLC ads for their shows...... I started my own thread for "hair empire " .......... I thought the lady was actually 12 .....because of her voice ......

There's one that keeps popping up on the Science channel (and possibly Animal Planet) for some TLC show that appears to feature six toddling hellspawns. Nothing makes me lunge for the remote faster than that commercial. I've managed to miss the hair one though. 69

[Death of Rats]

GEICO ads that also advertise something completely unrelated. Why are they name-dropping Helzberg diamonds or Banana Republic? 70

[Biggirl]

Did you know that women are great? They can be mommies and lawyers and astronauts and athletes! Know why? Because they eat! Every day! Yay women, go eat some Kellogg's. 71

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by Biggirl

Did you know that women are great? They can be mommies and lawyers and astronauts and athletes! Know why? Because they eat! Every day! Yay women, go eat some Kellogg's.

And Yoplait! Don't forget the Yoplait. Strong, confident women eat yogurt. 72

[Dewey Finn]

Originally Posted by Death of Rats

GEICO ads that also advertise something completely unrelated. Why are they name-dropping Helzberg diamonds or Banana Republic?

I have not seen a GEICO ad that mentions Banana Republic, but I have seen one that mentions Helzberg Diamonds. And the reason why is that both GEICO and Helzberg Diamonds are owned by Berkshire Hathaway. 73

[davidm]

The Movantik guy annoys the hell out of me for some reason. Maybe it's the stupid constipation jokes, or the bad acting, or him strolling towards the outhouse.https://youtu.be/0-flXl8CkY0 74

[El_Kabong]

There's the one where a momma is driving down a suburban street in a Nissan Rogue, racing her young daughter, who is dressed entirely in black (as one does) and riding a Big Wheel. Momma pulls in the driveway, avoiding some containers of black paint that are inexplicably sitting in the middle of the pavement. Daughter comes screeching in and slides to a halt, knocking over the containers and sending black paint everywhere*.

What does Mom do? String her daughter up by the ankles in the garage? No, she gives her a high five.

*actually, they use CGI to make the paint look like it's forming some sort of curlicue design, which makes even less sense. 75

[gigi]

Originally Posted by El_Kabong

Daughter comes screeching in and slides to a halt, knocking over the containers and sending black paint everywhere*.

What does Mom do? String her daughter up by the ankles in the garage? No, she gives her a high five.

Also, the commercials where it's adorable when the kid trashes the house, because they have Perfect Brand paper towels/paint/etc.

But then perversely it bugs me when they bring in gallons of bleach like the kid peeing on the floor is a SuperFund site or something. 76

[california jobcase]

I see Liberty Mutual has excised the spreadsheets and moronic mention of "torque ratios", but if you "finally bring home the one and crash it into a tree", you deserve higher insurance rates. 77

[Rick Kitchen]

Originally Posted by gigi

Also, the commercials where it's adorable when the kid trashes the house, because they have Perfect Brand paper towels/paint/etc.

But then perversely it bugs me when they bring in gallons of bleach like the kid peeing on the floor is a SuperFund site or something.

There's one where the mom finds her son mopping the floor with water from the toilet, and feels the need to bleach the whole floor. Jebus, lady, get a grip. 78

[Kimballkid]

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn

I have not seen a GEICO ad that mentions Banana Republic, but I have seen one that mentions Helzberg Diamonds. And the reason why is that both GEICO and Helzberg Diamonds are owned by Berkshire Hathaway.

Jack Be Nimble and Banana Republic 79

[simster]

Originally Posted by El_Kabong

There's the one where a momma is driving down a suburban street in a Nissan Rogue, racing her young daughter, who is dressed entirely in black (as one does) and riding a Big Wheel. Momma pulls in the driveway, avoiding some containers of black paint that are inexplicably sitting in the middle of the pavement. Daughter comes screeching in and slides to a halt, knocking over the containers and sending black paint everywhere*.

What does Mom do? String her daughter up by the ankles in the garage? No, she gives her a high five.

*actually, they use CGI to make the paint look like it's forming some sort of curlicue design, which makes even less sense.

I thought the girl painted her big wheel black to match the Rogue - and the sliding in rubbed the paint off the tires.

Still an annoyingly stupid commercail - and apparently they are telling me that big wheels powered by gradeschoolers can outrun (or atleast keep pace with) the Nissan.

I guaruntee I could outrun the little tykes in my Tundra. 80

[Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen

There's one where the mom finds her son mopping the floor with water from the toilet, and feels the need to bleach the whole floor. Jebus, lady, get a grip.

What if the kid put an ammonia-based cleaner in the bowl to clean the floor? 81

[Dewey Finn]

I think those Clorox commercials are kind of funny. Like the one in which the toddler proudly announces that he pooped on his own and then when the mother doesn't see anything in the toilet, he points at the bathtub. Or the two boys literally having a pissing contest. 82

[running coach]

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn

I think those Clorox commercials are kind of funny. Like the one in which the toddler proudly announces that he pooped on his own and then when the mother doesn't see anything in the toilet, he points at the bathtub. Or the two boys literally having a pissing contest.

"I already made it from this line." *slaps palms*
83

[Jeep's Phoenix]

"Oh I hate this belt!"
"Moooooooommmmm, we have a situation!"

84

[salinqmind]

Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen

There's one where the mom finds her son mopping the floor with water from the toilet, and feels the need to bleach the whole floor. Jebus, lady, get a grip.

Years ago there was a commercial for Comet, or some hygenic sink cleaner. A kid dropped his apple into a spotless stainless steel sink, in some McMansion kitchen, and the mom freaked. out. Started scrubbing and de-germing the filthy filthy sink (and probably threw out the apple) to protect Her Precious from nasty germs. Drove me crazy!!! 85

[Rick Kitchen]

Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix

"Oh I hate this belt!"
"Moooooooommmmm, we have a situation!"

aw, I love that ad. 86

[nearwildheaven]

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn

Or the two boys literally having a pissing contest.

Yet another commercial that was pulled because boys of all ages were imitating it.

Threadjack: I heard on NPR this evening that the NFL will no longer air ads for Viagra and Cialis, which will drastically reduce the number of uncomfortable conversations between parents and children who are watching football together. The main reason is because the NFL has seen dramatically reduced revenues in recent years; the other is because both drugs are about to go generic, if they haven't already, and so advertising them will be pointless. 87

[Jeep's Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen

aw, I love that ad.

I can definitely relate to the kid! I had one of those belts when I was that kid's age. While it never caused a "situation," I did hate it because it was so difficult to fasten it so the rings would lay flat. 88

[Roderick Femm]

An ad for razors that is all about how you can order them online and they will be delivered. The scene? The guy is getting ready to shave, all lathered up (including both hands, who does that?) discovers he is out of blades, and proceeds to use his phone to order some more; one version he uses his nose to press something on the phone, the other version he uses voice ordering, because, you know, shaving cream.

1. I've never seen anyone use both hands to apply shaving lather to their face. It's just stupid.

2. They can't rinse off their hands before ordering the blades?

3. And now what? Are they going to stand there waiting for the new blades to arrive, one or two or five days later?

This is just the most stupid stupid stupid commercial I can remember ever seeing. 89

[kayT]

I saw that one yesterday, Roderick, and I also thought how dumb it was. I'm not a man so I don't know for sure, but I really didn't think it took two hands to put on shaving cream. 90

[bobsmom101]

Am I the only one who wants to skoosh Lil Sweet into the cement like a cockroach?

Sent from my SM-T350 using Tapatalk 91

[Irishman]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

And how the fuck is he supposed to bone her from a separate tub???

It's prehensile. (Ever seen Babylon 5? Ask Ambassador Mallari about that.)

Originally Posted by pulykamell

To be honest, I may have let my 80 pound dog lick my kid's face clean before. Oh well. Then again, he gets into practical make out sessions with me or my wife.

You make out with your kid?

Originally Posted by El_Kabong

There's the one where a momma is driving down a suburban street in a Nissan Rogue, racing her young daughter, who is dressed entirely in black (as one does) and riding a Big Wheel. Momma pulls in the driveway, avoiding some containers of black paint that are inexplicably sitting in the middle of the pavement. Daughter comes screeching in and slides to a halt, knocking over the containers and sending black paint everywhere*.

What does Mom do? String her daughter up by the ankles in the garage? No, she gives her a high five.

*actually, they use CGI to make the paint look like it's forming some sort of curlicue design, which makes even less sense.

Okay, so the point is that the girl is imitating the cool stylings of the "midnight edition"* Nissan by painting her Big Wheel all black, instead of the expected girly pink. Thus, she rides by the neighborhood pink girls with her "whatsup?" nod while they look on in shock. Then she's cruising next to her mom, who for some reason is driving next to her. They don't explain why - maybe mom's on her way back from work/getting groceries/saving the world and they happen to meet up and mom rides next to her cool daughter so they can look smug together.

Anyway, the car is so cool, the paint doesn't make a mess, it makes art.

Originally Posted by simster

I thought the girl painted her big wheel black to match the Rogue - and the sliding in rubbed the paint off the tires.

That, too. Because driveways are rough like sandpaper and the underlying plastic is still pink.

Still an annoyingly stupid commercail - and apparently they are telling me that big wheels powered by gradeschoolers can outrun (or atleast keep pace with) the Nissan.

No, they're saying that mom is proud of her pre-goth daughter and they're riding together to show off their two cool-mobiles together. Cars can be driven slowly on purpose.

Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen

There's one where the mom finds her son mopping the floor with water from the toilet, and feels the need to bleach the whole floor. Jebus, lady, get a grip.

So you don't have a problem with poo-water everywhere?

Originally Posted by Roderick Femm

1. I've never seen anyone use both hands to apply shaving lather to their face. It's just stupid.

2. They can't rinse off their hands before ordering the blades?

3. And now what? Are they going to stand there waiting for the new blades to arrive, one or two or five days later?

This is just the most stupid stupid stupid commercial I can remember ever seeing.

I have to agree, and I haven't even seen the ad.

-----
* The "Midnight Edition" comes in 5 colors, not just black. They talk about the blacked out features like window shades, mirrors, and wheels. Whoopeedoo. I still can't agree to a white car called "Midnight Edition". 92

[Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by Irishman

So you don't have a problem with poo-water everywhere?

One hopes the kid is smart enough to flush and pour some sort of floor cleaner in the bowl before mopping. That's how I cleaned my bathroom floor before being bent over mopping could put my back out. 93

[Irishman]

I'm sure the kid want using actual turds, and likely used a preflushed bowl, but what little kid is going to add floor cleaner to the toilet water? They may not even know it exists.

Also, just because you send the bulk of the solids away doesn't mean you've eliminated the germs.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk 94

[DrDeth]

Originally Posted by Chefguy

The continuing saga of morons cooing over Chevy products while the "guy" shows them meaningless stuff.

I hate "that guy" he defines the term "smarmy". 95

[gigi]

Originally Posted by Roderick Femm

1. I've never seen anyone use both hands to apply shaving lather to their face. It's just stupid.

Fascinating. I would have assumed men use both hands to lather up - it's more efficient that way and don't you have rinse off the lathery hand before shaving anyway? I would certainly use two hands to apply shaving cream to my legs.

Next you'll tell me you don't smack the aftershave on with two hands like in Home Alone. 96

[DrDeth]

Originally Posted by Wheelz

"WiFi. We LITERALLY cannot live without it." (for Comcast or AT&T or something)

That's not what "literally" means!!!

The overly-smug-sounding announcer even emphasizes the word "literally," then somehow gets even more annoying as the commercial goes on.

Yes it does. Words change meanings. Get over it. 97

[DrDeth]

Originally Posted by gigi

Fascinating. I would have assumed men use both hands to lather up - it's more efficient that way and don't you have rinse off the lathery hand before shaving anyway? I would certainly use two hands to apply shaving cream to my legs.

Next you'll tell me you don't smack the aftershave on with two hands like in Home Alone.

Nope, one hand for shaving cream, but yes, usually two hands for aftershave. Not always, ymmv. 98

[Roderick Femm]

Originally Posted by gigi

Fascinating. I would have assumed men use both hands to lather up - it's more efficient that way and don't you have rinse off the lathery hand before shaving anyway? I would certainly use two hands to apply shaving cream to my legs.

Next you'll tell me you don't smack the aftershave on with two hands like in Home Alone.

To the first point, no. I hold the can in one hand and use the other hand to spread it around. Bear in mind that the face has a lot less surface area than one's legs, so it only takes a couple of squirts of gel (in my case) to cover everything. I do rinse off my hand before shaving, but since I only have one hand with cream on it, I can turn on the water without messing up the faucet handle.

And no, I don't slap on after-shave with both hands, because I don't use it. If I did use it, I probably would. 99

[Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by Irishman

what little kid is going to add floor cleaner to the toilet water? They may not even know it exists.

Pretty sure a little kid would know Pine Sol exists and what it's for. 'Course, that's a commercial for bleach rather than pine stuff. 100