Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #151  
Old 07-26-2013, 02:19 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
So I said, "Yo, Scylla - how 'bout not eating me, huh?"
  #152  
Old 07-26-2013, 03:04 PM
Eutychus is offline
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
 
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: On the windowsill
Posts: 8,014
But Scylla just let one of his blimps loose towards my head.
  #153  
Old 07-26-2013, 03:18 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So, I asked Scylla if he'd like a copy of The Watchtower, and he fled screaming.

Last edited by astorian; 07-26-2013 at 03:18 PM.
  #154  
Old 07-26-2013, 03:37 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But then the Sharknado appeared.
  #155  
Old 07-26-2013, 05:32 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So, I started singing "Farewell and adieu to ye fair Spanish ladies..." and the sharks hastened away, fearing I was Captain Quint.
  #156  
Old 07-26-2013, 07:27 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But then the spirit of Ed McMahon appeared to me in a vision.
  #157  
Old 07-26-2013, 09:04 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So I swam home to check my mailbox for a check from Publisher's Clearing House.
  #158  
Old 07-27-2013, 11:32 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But my mailbox had been stolen by a gang of ninja hoodlums.
  #159  
Old 07-27-2013, 10:48 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So, I got a couple of handguns from my safe and went after the ninjas, because damn it, tampering with the mail is a federal offense!
  #160  
Old 07-28-2013, 03:23 PM
SCAdian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,799
But pirates killed the ninjas before I could catch up.
  #161  
Old 07-28-2013, 05:14 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So, I fulfilled a childhood dream and joined the pirate crew.
  #162  
Old 07-28-2013, 05:26 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But Captain Dopebeard didn't like the cut of my jib.
  #163  
Old 07-28-2013, 07:28 PM
kevja is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 3,260
So I had myself a little makeover and now Cappy and I are the *best* of friends.
  #164  
Old 07-28-2013, 10:03 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But that didn't stop me from stickin' a knife in his gibbet and castin' him overboard at the first opportunity.
  #165  
Old 07-29-2013, 12:03 AM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So as new captainof the vessel, I led the few in a hearty chorus of "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me" and we set out to sink a Royal Caribbean cruise liner.
  #166  
Old 07-29-2013, 11:51 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But the liner was already becalmed.
  #167  
Old 08-02-2013, 12:30 PM
Tread is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 710
So, I looked at my dinghy
  #168  
Old 08-02-2013, 12:34 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But my crew was gettin' a bit rowdy.
  #169  
Old 08-02-2013, 01:45 PM
JustsomeDude is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 87
So I thought what the heck I row the dinghy myself.

Last edited by JustsomeDude; 08-02-2013 at 01:45 PM.
  #170  
Old 08-02-2013, 01:46 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But termites had eaten through the oars.
  #171  
Old 08-02-2013, 01:52 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So, I bought a pack of hungry aardvarks to eat them.
  #172  
Old 08-02-2013, 01:55 PM
JustsomeDude is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 87
But how do I get off the liner, I pondered.

Last edited by JustsomeDude; 08-02-2013 at 01:55 PM.
  #173  
Old 08-02-2013, 02:14 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
So I searched the storage holds.
  #174  
Old 08-02-2013, 02:30 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
But the only animals I found were bilge rats.
  #175  
Old 08-02-2013, 02:32 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
So I turned on the Bat-signal, and waited for the Caped Crusader.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 08-02-2013 at 02:33 PM. Reason: so, but, what's the diff?
  #176  
Old 08-02-2013, 02:52 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
But instead, the Atom showed up, and who's a more useless "superhero" than him?
  #177  
Old 08-02-2013, 02:54 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
So the Atom (who's hands-on physics professor Ray Palmer off-duty) fixed the liner's engines to move at supersonic speeds, and we arrived in Jamaica in a short amount of time.
  #178  
Old 08-02-2013, 03:58 PM
JustsomeDude is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 87
But in the meantime we made dreadlocks just to look cooler.
  #179  
Old 08-02-2013, 04:23 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
So the Jamaica Tourism Office wanted to take our pictures for their next brochure.
  #180  
Old 08-03-2013, 12:08 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 59,398
But they rejected the idea of us smoking reefer in the ad.
  #181  
Old 08-03-2013, 01:35 PM
JustsomeDude is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 87
Se we went bananas, crowned them with their cameras and took photos of ourselves.
  #182  
Old 08-03-2013, 03:40 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But we left the lens cap on.
  #183  
Old 08-03-2013, 11:56 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
So obviously none of the pictures came out, dadgummit.
  #184  
Old 08-05-2013, 11:23 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But they decided to make me King for Life.
  #185  
Old 08-05-2013, 02:04 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
So I walked right up and made myself comfy on the throne.
  #186  
Old 08-05-2013, 02:08 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But there was a scimitar hanging by a sparse thread over the throne.
  #187  
Old 08-05-2013, 03:05 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
So I asked one of my more reliable minions to carefully remove it.
  #188  
Old 08-05-2013, 03:09 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But he slipped and it cut off his head.
  #189  
Old 08-05-2013, 03:10 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So, I had his head impaled on a spike in front of the palace, to show my subjects that I was a tough customer, not to be trifled with.
  #190  
Old 08-05-2013, 03:28 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
But the natives were, to put it mildly, restless.
  #191  
Old 08-05-2013, 03:34 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
So I summoned the mother ship.
  #192  
Old 08-05-2013, 11:42 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
But the ion thrusters needed a full Class-7 recalibration.
  #193  
Old 08-06-2013, 08:25 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
So I decentered the molybdenum portaloid, rerouted the electrophasic hemoclares, introduced a combinant remulsifier, hammered out the spark plugs, bypassed the forensic catalyst, solidified the unobtanium fuse and turned the nanowarp oscillators up to eleven.
  #194  
Old 08-06-2013, 08:44 PM
kevja is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 3,260
But none of that meant much to me as long as my cabin had a window.
  #195  
Old 08-07-2013, 04:21 AM
Tread is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 710
SO, I tore back the curtains hoping to see the sea
  #196  
Old 08-07-2013, 09:58 AM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
But by that point we were well on our way to Proxima Centauri.
  #197  
Old 08-07-2013, 10:01 AM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
So, I looked for the transporter room, so I could beam down to a nice looking nearby planet.
  #198  
Old 08-07-2013, 10:02 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But they had stationed Hawkguards outside my door.
  #199  
Old 08-07-2013, 01:26 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 221B Baker St.
Posts: 88,228
So I offered them a hundredweight of field mice.
  #200  
Old 08-07-2013, 01:40 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 63,056
But their supervisor was watching on a vidlink.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:06 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017