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Old 02-15-2015, 01:06 AM
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This thread was started Feb. 14, 2015! Do Not Zombie!


Goddammit! What is it with all the fucking zombie threads? Isn't there enough to talk about without dredging up shit form years gone past?

It seems every fucking thread I open is over 3 fucking years old! Isn't there a way to keep this shit buried, as it should be? Jesus Christ! It died a dignified death the first time around. Shouldn't we let it stay dead?

I need a better hobby.
  #2  
Old 02-15-2015, 01:17 AM
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I propose to re-animate this thread every Friday the 13th, next month (March), November, and forever.
  #3  
Old 02-15-2015, 05:25 AM
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Some zombie threads are really interesting though.
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Old 02-15-2015, 06:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Cicero View Post
Some zombie threads are really interesting though.
Also, the vast majority of discussions don't actually require the ongoing participation of the OP or other early posters to remain valid or interesting--if they ever were. Closing a zombie and then suggesting the reviver start a new thread on the same subject, as is often done, serves only to insure that points already made are lost or needlessly repeated.

Like this. (sigh)
  #5  
Old 02-15-2015, 09:16 AM
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How long must a thread lie dormant
Before it's considered a zombie?
The answer, my friend,
Is blowing in the wind
  #6  
Old 02-15-2015, 09:26 AM
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The strange passion that some folks have when it comes to old threads will always baffle me.

Ah well. I hope this thread is repeatedly brought up every six to nine months for the next ten years, driving the OP into madness. That should be entertaining.
  #7  
Old 02-15-2015, 09:39 AM
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Bumping this thread from second on the list to first to reduce the risk of it becoming a zombie.
  #8  
Old 02-15-2015, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
Goddammit! What is it with all the fucking zombie threads? Isn't there enough to talk about without dredging up shit form years gone past?

It seems every fucking thread I open is over 3 fucking years old! Isn't there a way to keep this shit buried, as it should be?
I have suggested numerous times that a simple script should be run nightly on the server. It would look for threads with a last post date of (let's say) 6 months ago and set the status to closed. Presto - no more zombies.

Needless to say, we still have zombies...
  #9  
Old 02-15-2015, 10:01 AM
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Seeing how this thread is dated on Valentines Day

I can see the someone has complicated feelings on the issue.

Last edited by Aquadementia; 02-15-2015 at 10:02 AM.
  #10  
Old 02-15-2015, 10:25 AM
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I need a better hobby.
Have you tried binge watching The Walking Dead?
  #11  
Old 02-15-2015, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
Goddammit! What is it with all the fucking zombie threads? Isn't there enough to talk about without dredging up shit form years gone past?

It seems every fucking thread I open is over 3 fucking years old! Isn't there a way to keep this shit buried, as it should be? Jesus Christ! It died a dignified death the first time around. Shouldn't we let it stay dead?

I need a better hobby.
Perhaps you could look at the top left corner of the first post to see it's start date. Because...if old threads really do cause you such emotional trauma...they're easy enough to avoid with just one quick glance at the date of the first post.
  #12  
Old 02-15-2015, 01:07 PM
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I have suggested numerous times that a simple script should be run nightly on the server. It would look for threads with a last post date of (let's say) 6 months ago and set the status to closed. Presto - no more zombies.

Needless to say, we still have zombies...
Or, perhaps, you could just read the start date of the thread and not respond if it causes you grief. There are many times I've enjoyed older threads.

I swear, this is the only board I've ever seen where people get this hysterical over old threads.
  #13  
Old 02-15-2015, 01:19 PM
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There are a lot of suggestions for "improvements" to SDMB function. Most are for the convenience or annoyance-reduction of a single user or small group. Some are just to make forum format like all the other squee social media formats. Some are objections to how posts are categorized.

But I think a board that never prunes or archives its content and is coming up on its 20th year of operation really, really, really needs a zombie thread marker system - something that warns the first poster the thread is old, something that alerts new posters to the revived status for a few hours or even the first 24 hours, and a special flag (like "New Posts" or "Closed") that makes the thread stand out as a zombie.

It would deter search-spammers, or at least help compartment their trolling. It would keep users new and old from making stupid posts when they don't realize the question is ten years old. It would keep mods from having to run around putting out little fires because of all the pointless friction. And - not least - it would alert long-time users that an old and possibly useful or interesting thread has been extended.

It can't be that hard, or cost that much even if turned over to a pro coder. I can't help but think that some plugin, extension or hack already exists for this venerable boardware.

Please. And thank you. And see you every Feb. 14 to roam these halls moaning about it.
  #14  
Old 02-15-2015, 01:55 PM
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When you look at a forum or click "new posts" they could include the date of the first post, along with the title and thread creator.
  #15  
Old 02-15-2015, 03:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clothahump View Post
I have suggested numerous times that a simple script should be run nightly on the server. It would look for threads with a last post date of (let's say) 6 months ago and set the status to closed. Presto - no more zombies.

Needless to say, we still have zombies...
We have zombies because more of the TM complained that we were closing and locking them than were asking that they be closed and locked.
You do not need a script to banish old threads; you need a method to persuade more posters to your position and away from the majority who express a current desire to permit old threads to be revived.
  #16  
Old 02-15-2015, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Aquadementia View Post
When you look at a forum or click "new posts" they could include the date of the first post, along with the title and thread creator.
This. The SDMB is the only forum I've seen that doesn't display the start date of threads before they're clicked on.
  #17  
Old 02-15-2015, 03:18 PM
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Perhaps you could look at the top left corner of the first post to see it's start date.
If the start date could be displayed on the forum pages themselves, that would improve things immeasurably. You could see at a glance, without even opening the thread, whether it's a zombie or not.

I'm no javascript expert, but i'll bet you could also then add a few lines to the SDMB Greasemonkey script (for those who have it) that would mark the threads with a start date older than X months, maybe by a different color, or by some sort of icon.
  #18  
Old 02-15-2015, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted by tomndebb View Post
We have zombies because more of the TM complained that we were closing and locking them than were asking that they be closed and locked.
You do not need a script to banish old threads; you need a method to persuade more posters to your position and away from the majority who express a current desire to permit old threads to be revived.
There are many reasons not to lock or delete old threads, and the day the SDMB does any such thing will be the day its value as one of the last sites for sustained, serious, intelligent discussions over time plummets.

But c'mon... just flag the suckers? Please?
  #19  
Old 02-15-2015, 05:47 PM
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I don't understand the vitriol over zombie threads. Who cares if it's 10 years old if it's interesting. Maybe I missed it the first time around. Maybe there's new info I'd like to contribute because I've learned a few things since 10 years ago. Maybe I enjoy reading the posts of some of my favorite old-timers. Serious question...why do you even care?
  #20  
Old 02-15-2015, 05:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
It seems every fucking thread I open is over 3 fucking years old! Isn't there a way to keep this shit buried, as it should be? Jesus Christ! It died a dignified death the first time around. Shouldn't we let it stay dead?
You know who else came back from the dead?
SPOILER:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatopescado
<snip>
Jesus Christ!
<snip>
  #21  
Old 02-15-2015, 08:10 PM
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I don't understand the vitriol over zombie threads. Who cares if it's 10 years old if it's interesting. Maybe I missed it the first time around. Maybe there's new info I'd like to contribute because I've learned a few things since 10 years ago. Maybe I enjoy reading the posts of some of my favorite old-timers. Serious question...why do you even care?
I don't get it, either. I find the bitching about zombie threads much more annoying.
  #22  
Old 02-15-2015, 08:24 PM
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You know what really grinds my gears? When people complain about people complaining about people complaining about people complaining about zombie threads.
  #23  
Old 02-15-2015, 08:47 PM
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{...} I'm no javascript expert, but i'll bet you could also then add a few lines to the SDMB Greasemonkey script (for those who have it) that would mark the threads with a start date older than X months, maybe by a different color, or by some sort of icon.
Something like this? (I think that's the one I'm using. No, it's this one.)

CMC fnord!

Last edited by crowmanyclouds; 02-15-2015 at 08:51 PM.
  #24  
Old 02-15-2015, 09:23 PM
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Something like this? (I think that's the one I'm using. No, it's this one.)

CMC fnord!
Excellent! That works perfectly. Thanks.
  #25  
Old 02-16-2015, 02:32 AM
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I take it I'm on ignore for some people, since I always suggest those scripts for people who get upset about zombies. I stick with the one on the front page, even if it is less accurate, since the only information it has is the post number, which only shows the a set of posts were made in, not the specific date.

(Consider the last 10 posts . They would be numbered something like 749327 through 749336. With only that information, you'd know what order they were posted in, but not the date. So you just guess how long ago the posts were made based on how many posts were made between them and the rest of the posts.)
  #26  
Old 02-16-2015, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
It seems every fucking thread I open is over 3 fucking years old! Isn't there a way to keep this shit buried, as it should be? Jesus Christ! It died a dignified death the first time around. Shouldn't we let it stay dead?
[bolding mine]

You're calling on the world's most famous zombie for help ensuring that dead things stay dead? Good luck with that.
  #27  
Old 02-16-2015, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Ruby View Post
I don't understand the vitriol over zombie threads. Who cares if it's 10 years old if it's interesting. Maybe I missed it the first time around. Maybe there's new info I'd like to contribute because I've learned a few things since 10 years ago. Maybe I enjoy reading the posts of some of my favorite old-timers. Serious question...why do you even care?
There are two separate arguments going on here.

1) Zombie threads are universally boring, spam-traps, deceptive, irritating and should be locked after X months to prevent their rising.

2) Despite much of (1) being true, many threads are periodically revived or added to with posts of great value and the persistence of such discussions and their ready continuation is an asset.

3) They are, however, occasionally deceptive and it would be useful and confusion-reducing to be alerted that the question about ______ originated far before the present.

1 is wrong. Period.

I believe 2 is valid.

I further believe 3 would be an improvement all around.
  #28  
Old 02-16-2015, 12:21 PM
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[bolding mine]

You're calling on the world's most famous zombie for help ensuring that dead things stay dead? Good luck with that.
OP's talking about three years, not three days.
  #29  
Old 02-16-2015, 12:21 PM
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I don't much care about zombies. Sometimes it's a bit annoying when I read a couple of pages of posts, and then I realize it's a thread from eight years ago, but that's my fault for not taking a quick second to check the date of the OP.

Even if there were a thread-marking script alerting the user that it was an older thread, wouldn't that just work with the web interface? I principally use Tapatalk to view the forum, and it seems to me that for thread-marking to be useful to me it would need to be done through Tapatalk. But I don't know how many use Tapatalk (or other forum readers) vs. the web client (I'm sure there's a zombie thread out there that would tell me), so I may be in the minority.

All in all, dealing with zombies seems like a minor annoyance. I would prefer that they were left open.
  #30  
Old 02-16-2015, 12:33 PM
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OP's talking about three years, not three days.
Touché.
  #31  
Old 02-16-2015, 04:08 PM
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. . . Do Not Zombie! . . .
You'll be sorry.
  #32  
Old 02-16-2015, 09:18 PM
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You know who else came back from the dead?
Every superhero?

And I add my weight to those asking for a thread start date column.

Wait. We're not in ATMB? How is this happening?

Last edited by Exapno Mapcase; 02-16-2015 at 09:20 PM.
  #33  
Old 02-17-2015, 07:15 AM
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OP's talking about three years, not three days.
But Scripture is quite clear: one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as one day, to the Lord.

So three days v. three years? Small potatoes.
  #34  
Old 02-17-2015, 07:16 AM
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Every superhero?
And Gandalf from LOTR.

Quote:
Wait. We're not in ATMB? How is this happening?
Don't you just hate it when you're in the middle of a good Pit thread, and a discussion breaks out? What do people think this forum is for, anyway?

Last edited by RTFirefly; 02-17-2015 at 07:20 AM.
  #35  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:29 AM
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I like zombie threads. They let me see how my views have changed because I often find posts I made that I have no memory of (sometimes on issues I have no memory of... I've posted rather a lot here.)
  #36  
Old 02-17-2015, 02:44 PM
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Also, the vast majority of discussions don't actually require the ongoing participation of the OP or other early posters to remain valid or interesting--if they ever were. Closing a zombie and then suggesting the reviver start a new thread on the same subject, as is often done, serves only to insure that points already made are lost or needlessly repeated.
I agree. It really depends on the topic, the Op and if there's argle-bargle. Many zombies are just fine, and in fact i find the posts which complain about "it's a zombie!!!" to be the real problem.
  #37  
Old 02-17-2015, 03:18 PM
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You'll be sorry.
I'm already sorry.
  #38  
Old 02-17-2015, 03:38 PM
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When was this thread started again?
  #39  
Old 02-17-2015, 03:44 PM
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If we try to make sure it gets at least one post every day or two it will never die, and can never be a zombie. Or maybe it will always be a zombie. I don't know.
  #40  
Old 02-17-2015, 10:55 PM
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7 hours since the last post. Is this a zombie yet? Need answer fast.
  #41  
Old 02-18-2015, 11:26 AM
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Too lazy to check, but isn't there some kind of suggestion list for new users that recommends searching for a topic first to see if it's been previously discussed? That may be why so many zombie threads come forth.
  #42  
Old 02-18-2015, 11:39 AM
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I think 99% of regular SDMB posters;
* are sophisticated enough to not knowingly resurrect a zombie,
* know to look at the date before replying,
* are familiar enough with old threads and especially old posters to quickly recognize a zombie.

My impression is that most zombies are resurrected by non- or new members, someone who came across it in a Google search.

ETA: Does Knowed Out's list exist? Won't catch 'em all but it's a start.

Last edited by lieu; 02-18-2015 at 11:43 AM.
  #43  
Old 02-18-2015, 11:56 AM
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If we try to make sure it gets at least one post every day or two it will never die, and can never be a zombie. Or maybe it will always be a zombie. I don't know.
A thread that goes bump in the night...
  #44  
Old 02-18-2015, 05:25 PM
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But when someone starts a new thread on a subject that has been 'done before' we always get a post with links to those threads chastising the OP.

So know new threads, unless it is truly a unique subject. (no threads on old stuff)
  #45  
Old 02-18-2015, 05:36 PM
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But when someone starts a new thread on a subject that has been 'done before' we always get a post with links to those threads chastising the OP.

So know new threads, unless it is truly a unique subject. (no threads on old stuff)
Yeah some jerk-face always comes in acting all annoyed and is all like, "We already did this topic." and posts a link to a 10 year old thread.
  #46  
Old 02-18-2015, 07:35 PM
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Let's add a complaint about almost naked cheerleaders having embarrassing moments to this thread and we can revive it every few weeks in ATMB.
  #47  
Old 02-19-2015, 11:47 AM
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Mmmmmmm, naked zombie cheerleader thread.
  #48  
Old 02-19-2015, 12:24 PM
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How do we know they're cheerleaders if they are naked?
  #49  
Old 02-19-2015, 12:26 PM
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Brazilian pompoms.

Last edited by lieu; 02-19-2015 at 12:27 PM.
  #50  
Old 02-19-2015, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
Goddammit! What is it with all the fucking zombie threads? Isn't there enough to talk about without dredging up shit form years gone past?

It seems every fucking thread I open is over 3 fucking years old! Isn't there a way to keep this shit buried, as it should be? Jesus Christ! It died a dignified death the first time around. Shouldn't we let it stay dead?

I need a better hobby.
To quote from a UNIX/LINUX website (bolding mine):
"To kill a zombie
# kill -9 4104
Sometimes zombie cannot be killed so the solution is to kill the parent process."

You are definitely SOL.
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