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  #101  
Old 02-06-2020, 04:45 PM
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Iím not into church at all. Iím not a religious person and I donít believe in God. But I go to church often enough.

Because itís important to some members of my family and sometimes they want me to go, on holidays, special occasions or maybe one of them is singing or speaking. I do this because I love them and I love sharing experiences with them. Just like I might go to a movie or restaurant Iím not particularly into, because a family member wants to go. Because Love.
So you're saying that as an atheist, you would not abandon the people that you love because they believe in god and choose to attend church?

I have to say, as a fellow atheist, I question your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
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  #102  
Old 02-06-2020, 04:57 PM
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I realize youíre probably right. I should leave the family. I canít imagine me getting past this incident.
I'm going to chime in with agreement here. you really should leave your family they will be better off without you.

That being said totally a troll but I've got nothing better to do until my kids come home from school.
  #103  
Old 02-06-2020, 04:59 PM
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And yes, older son has already had sex. We know this. And I was fine with it. He used protection.
There are some conservative, religious families who lead strict lifestyles without things like sex, alcohol, and even dancing. If their kids engage in those activities, they may be shunned and rejected by the parents. I image those parents make similar arguments about those vices as you are making with pot. The conservative parents think that a kid taking a drink will become an alcoholic and that a kid having sex will become a sex addict. Although pot is obviously different than those things, they're all in the same realm of vices. The parents who reject their kids because they drank a beer aren't much different than what you're doing with your kids and pot. For some reason you're grouping pot with much harder and dangerous drugs like meth and heroin, and it's influencing how you're approaching this. But really, pot is much more like alcohol. You rejecting your kid for smoking pot is not really all that different from the parent who rejects their kid for drinking, smoking, having sex, or dancing.

Maybe think about what has happened in states where pot is legal. Colorado has had it for a while. If pot leading to harder drugs was really that big of a problem, the consequences should be very visible there. But as far as I know, the number of meth and heroin addicts has not exploded since pot was legalized.

Last edited by filmore; 02-06-2020 at 05:03 PM.
  #104  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:06 PM
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So you're saying that as an atheist, you would not abandon the people that you love because they believe in god and choose to attend church?

I have to say, as a fellow atheist, I question your commitment to Sparkle Motion.


I actually consider myself agnostic, when I take the time to consider it.

My momís in a nursing home. Last Sunday I arranged for someone from her church to stop by and conduct a highly abbreviated communion service in her room and the entire family stopped by for it.

After I took communion, I turned to Mom and said ďCheck it out, the chalice didnít burst into flamesĒ. She laughed.
  #105  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:07 PM
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If youíve been following, madmonk, yes, thatís it I guess.
Cuz itís not just disengaging because they once smoked pot in high school. Itís because the therapist sees that it has become a habit that his likely to continue. So in that case, Iím fine with missing my sonís events. And who are we kidding? Heís not getting married. He will barely be able to take care of himself. Why would he couple up? Unless itís another pothead.

And yes, older son has already had sex. We know this. And I was fine with it. He used protection.
Because, as we all know, protection is 100% infallible, and no one who doesn't want to become pregnant ever does end up pregnant.

Seriously - how the hell do you even manage to put on socks every day? Your tirade about him never settling down because he'll evitably be addicted to weed is swinging into some serious troll territory.
  #106  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:13 PM
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Just out of curiosity, where is their dad in all of this? Does he share your opinion or is he taking a more moderate approach?
She'll say he's just 'in denial' because there are addicts on his side of the family. In her original thread, she mentioned he and the boys still act as they always did, watching TV or playing video games. Gee, can't imagine why they'd rather open up to him, as opposed to their image-obsessed tyrant of a mother...
  #107  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:16 PM
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Yeah, ok Ann Hedonia. Another comment suggesting that smoking drugs with your kid is fun.
She said ADULT CHILDREN, you twat-waffle.
  #108  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:18 PM
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And who are we kidding? He’s not getting married. He will barely be able to take care of himself. Why would he couple up? Unless it’s another pothead.
Indeed, I regularly shit and piss myself when not either bonging the pot or working downtown at my job as a lawyer. And my wife (also a lawyer) and son are figments of my drug addled brain.

Last edited by Moriarty; 02-06-2020 at 05:19 PM.
  #109  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:19 PM
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He used protection.
You were watching?!
  #110  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:23 PM
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I realize youíre probably right. I should leave the family. I canít imagine me getting past this incident.
You didn't answer my question: What does your therapist think of how you're treating your boys?

Also, catching up on the original thread, why are YOU seeing a substance abuse counselor? If you want to influence your boys positively, that's not the type of counselor you should be seeing. If you want someone to agree with you, it sounds like you've found the right one.
  #111  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:24 PM
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You didn't answer my question: What does your therapist think of how you're treating your boys?

Also, catching up on the original thread, why are YOU seeing a substance abuse counselor? If you want to influence your boys positively, that's not the type of counselor you should be seeing. If you want someone to agree with you, it sounds like you've found the right one.
Because she is only a troll. A trolly troll troll troll.
  #112  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:28 PM
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I’m seeing the therapist because she suggested it. She says she’s worried about me. Depression. When I express these thoughts of my sons’ bleak futures, she just says there’s no guarantee either way. They could be drug addicts living in the street or they could be ok. But the fact that she’s definitely voice her concern especially about the youngest makes me believe that she knows that the drug addict path is more likely.
  #113  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:30 PM
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I realize you’re probably right. I should leave the family. I can’t imagine me getting past this incident.
Dial it down SaucyWayneDitka you’re overselling your act.

Last edited by madmonk28; 02-06-2020 at 05:30 PM.
  #114  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:31 PM
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Okay. So you object to the seediness of him getting pot from a local dealer. Is that worse than buying a bottle of JD from an older friend with a fake ID?
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Depends. How's the kid doing otherwise? How are his grades? Is he socially well adjusted? Does he have hobbies/interests? Play sports? Part time job? Good friends?

What else is going on with him?
You going to respond to any of the above, Declanium?
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Last edited by QuickSilver; 02-06-2020 at 05:32 PM.
  #115  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:33 PM
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Nope. I don’t have a substance abuse problem. As I’ve already stated, she suggested individual therapy as well.
  #116  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:34 PM
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Nope. I donít have a substance abuse problem. As Iíve already stated, she suggested individual therapy as well.
Retracted.

How's the kid doing otherwise?
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  #117  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:35 PM
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Kids’ grades could definitely be better. And were much better prior to the drug stuff in 2019.
They play sports, the usual.
  #118  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:37 PM
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Younger one had part time job. We had encouraged him to put money in the bank and we would match it.
He always put us off. Now we know why. He spent all of it on weed.
  #119  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:38 PM
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Kidsí grades could definitely be better. And were much better prior to the drug stuff in 2019.
They play sports, the usual.
No problems with teachers or adult authorities?

Thoughts on him illegally buying booze vs. pot?
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  #120  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:45 PM
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They could be drug addicts living in the street or they could be ok. But the fact that sheís definitely voice her concern especially about the youngest makes me believe that she knows that the drug addict path is more likely.
(My emphasis).

This is irrational thinking. You are making a presumption that another person can tell the future. It is a sign that you need help.

Assuming you are sincere, donít guess at what your therapist ďknowsĒ, because Iím sure that, if she was any good, sheíd assure you that she does not know how your son will turn out.

As somebody who deals with depression, I am quite familiar with imagining scenarios that end up with me in the gutter. They are the product of a diseased mind. I take medication; you might consider the same.
  #121  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:46 PM
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No problems with adults or authorities...other than us, that is.
And again, booze is more normalized. At least here where we live. More relatable too. I can see if he would have a drink and then see how he felt. With weed, it’s more risky. Once you have the stuff in your system, it’s in there. You have to ride it thru.
As someone once said, you don’t “try” drugs.
You do drugs. You can “try” rock climbing, but when you’re doing the drugs it goes inside your body. You’re no longer trying them. They are inside of you.
  #122  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:48 PM
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Troll. The thread has jumped the shark.
  #123  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:54 PM
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No problems with adults or authorities...other than us, that is.
And again, booze is more normalized. At least here where we live. More relatable too. I can see if he would have a drink and then see how he felt. With weed, itís more risky. Once you have the stuff in your system, itís in there. You have to ride it thru.
As someone once said, you donít ďtryĒ drugs.
You do drugs. You can ďtryĒ rock climbing, but when youíre doing the drugs it goes inside your body. Youíre no longer trying them. They are inside of you.
Underline added. Exactly the same as with alcohol.
  #124  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:56 PM
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Underline added. Exactly the same as with alcohol.
And with less potency.
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  #125  
Old 02-06-2020, 05:56 PM
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Granted, but you’ve got to admit. As far as emotional support or commiserating, a mom saying “I found a bottle of Fireball in my son’s room” seems to be less jarring than “I found a weed vape and THC carts in my son’s room.”
The latter almost guaranteeing that their sons are no longer allowed to socialize with mine because they do drugs. It’s next level.

Last edited by Declanium; 02-06-2020 at 05:58 PM.
  #126  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:03 PM
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No problems with adults or authorities...other than us, that is.
And again, booze is more normalized. At least here where we live. More relatable too. I can see if he would have a drink and then see how he felt. With weed, itís more risky. Once you have the stuff in your system, itís in there. You have to ride it thru.
As someone once said, you donít ďtryĒ drugs.
You do drugs. You can ďtryĒ rock climbing, but when youíre doing the drugs it goes inside your body. Youíre no longer trying them. They are inside of you.
Teenagers engage in risky behavior. If you think they can all moderate their alcohol intake and "see how they feel", you are being completely unrealistic. What's more, you are drawing conclusions about pot out of fear and ignorance, rather than informed point of view.

There is nothing in what you describe about your kid that seems in any way abnormal. Your kid isn't headed on a collision course with being a crack addict or whatever it is you imagine in your fevered nightmare scenario. He's a normal kid just trying to figure stuff out.

His biggest problem is a paranoid, possibly neurotic mother, who has lost control of her emotions due to lack of information and ability to maintain perspective and proportionate response to common parenting challenges. Furthermore, either you completely misunderstood your therapist, heard only what you wanted to hear, or are being manipulated and bilked by her. The latter being least likely but not out of the question. Either way, get a second opinion. For your own peace of mind and for the sanity of those on whom you project your fears and punish with your poor judgement.
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  #127  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:20 PM
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Cuz itís not just disengaging because they once smoked pot in high school. Itís because the therapist sees that it has become a habit that his likely to continue.
Wait, this is a therapist that you and not your son is seeing? So the therapist only knows what you tell them about the son? It seems inappropriate for them to comment at all that it's a habit or not, that it's going to continue or not. Because like it or not, you are very definitely coloring what you say in your sessions.
  #128  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:23 PM
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It’s a fucking troll.
  #129  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:24 PM
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No, Dewey. Same therapist. For family and individual
  #130  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:24 PM
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Listen to me.
My 3 adult children were perfect teens. And now are perfect adults.

(If you believe that I have a nice bridge to sell you)

Nobody passes through their teenage/young adult ages perfectly. None. Zero. Nada.

You're a Troll.
(You might need to buy that bridge)

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 02-06-2020 at 06:28 PM.
  #131  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:30 PM
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Read the original post/

Have a 15y daughter so have skin in the game.

OP, you need to get a grip babe. They’re smoking weed doll, they’re not tooting crack.

I’d be grateful if I were you. Your teenage boys could be so much worse than having a blaze.

Last edited by Teddie; 02-06-2020 at 06:32 PM.
  #132  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:34 PM
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Teddie, is your daughter smoking weed?
  #133  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:40 PM
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Teddie, is your daughter smoking weed?

I know for a fact sheís had a Ďdrinkí, as In got a bit pissed.

Sheís smoked cigarettes & hated it! Iím not entirely sure if sheís had a proper joint.

If she had I really wouldnít be worked up by it


Sheís getting serious good grades & if she has had a bit of a blaze whilst still keeping up her grades then so be it.
  #134  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:44 PM
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I smoked a whole lot of weed whilst training to become a nurse;

So did all the people around me who were training to become doctors & nurses.
  #135  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:52 PM
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You can believe what you want, needscoffee. But prior to finding this out on Christmas Day, we had spent Xmas eve together, baking cookies, drinking cocoa and watching Christmas movies, as per our tradition.
We were a typical family. No one is perfect but we had a good time. Family vacations, get together with relatives. Sleepovers and pancake breakfasts. I donít know what void they were trying to fill.
Seriously? Two teenage boys spending Christmas eve baking cookies, drinking cocoa and watching Christmas movies??? Not a chance!

Total troll. Note he/she hasn't responded to any of the accusations of being a troll. He/she is enjoying him/herself immensely...
  #136  
Old 02-06-2020, 06:52 PM
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Teddie, is your daughter smoking weed?
Guess what? The vast, VAST majority of weed/booze/drug users are perfectly functional adjusted people. You only ever hear about the unfortunate cases.

There are many of those people right here, on this board, talking to you right now about it. We are fighting your ignorance but you seem to be embracing it.
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  #137  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:00 PM
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No one starts out with meth
Probably started with weed
If you asked all of the meth-heads who tried weed before meth if their mothers had prior to that provided them with a cold glass of milk, roughly 100% of them would agree that that was the order. Have you ever given your kids a cold glass of milk? Monster!
  #138  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:06 PM
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Is your therapist a LMHC, a psychologist, or something else?
  #139  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:15 PM
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I’m not a troll. For those who have accused me of being one.
And yes, they did spend Xmas that way because that has been our tradition since they were toddlers.
We are seeing a social worker.
  #140  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:26 PM
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That's because you're a fucking idiot who has been brainwashed by other fucking stupid idiots who got all their information from 1950's drug pamphlets that were created by even more fucking stupid idiots.
Given the age of her children and what I remember from my growing up, I'm betting about 30 years later. She probably came of age during the Reagan just say no campaign, was assigned to read "Go Ask Alice", . Kids at that time had it drilled into them that if you even took one toke it would turn them into an addict and would destroy their lives forever. She, like me, may even have been lucky enough to have celebrity speaker David Toma come and visit her school and talk at an assembly about how he knew a kid who tried pot just once and dropped dead on the spot.

Here's the thing Declanium, they lied to you. Their hearts were in the right place, many people do have problems with drugs and kids are probably better off staying away from them. But the scared straight tactics of the "Just say no" campaign were far more interested in terrifying children than they were in dispensing accurate information.
  #141  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:33 PM
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I don't think Declanium is a troll. Surely there are more entertaining ways to troll a message board.

I think we're dealing with a low information, high anxiety, delusional adult with poorly functioning mental coping skills. Repeated restatement of her inability to deal with an obsessive fear of pot, and the loss of parental control over her child's behavior has really pushed her psychologically into a corner. The only way she can find out of this deep conflict isn't to deal with her own irrational fears but to ostracize the person causing her to feel all this anxiety and failure as a parent. If the kid is sent away, so is the problem, right?. Biblical equivalent of casting the demons onto the scapegoat and send it out into the hinterlands.
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  #142  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:38 PM
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Iím not a troll. For those who have accused me of being one.
And yes, they did spend Xmas that way because that has been our tradition since they were toddlers.
We are seeing a social worker.
They are growing up and are getting tired of entertaining your delusional ideation of a Norman Rockwell family Christmas. You're smothering them. Let them breath and grow. I guarantee you they are dreading every moment you call "tradition". Smoking pot is the only way this kid can deal with you anymore.

Social workers are lovely people and they do the lord's work, but they are not mental health professionals of the type you are desperately in need of.
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  #143  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:43 PM
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Whose sock is she?
  #144  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:44 PM
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No problems with adults or authorities...other than us, that is.
And again, booze is more normalized. At least here where we live. More relatable too. I can see if he would have a drink and then see how he felt. With weed, itís more risky. Once you have the stuff in your system, itís in there. You have to ride it thru.
As someone once said, you donít ďtryĒ drugs.
You do drugs. You can ďtryĒ rock climbing, but when youíre doing the drugs it goes inside your body. Youíre no longer trying them. They are inside of you.
Once you try booze, itís inside of you.

And strawberries. Strawberries are now inside of you, part of you.

Of course you metabolize all of those things and then they arenít inside of you.

If you mean that once you smoke weed it causes physical, chemical changes in you, yes, it does. Thatís the definition of a drug. A drug is something you consume which has a physiological effect. Marijuana does that, as does alcohol, as does caffeine, as does Tylenol. They are all drugs.

They donít mess you up for life when you try them once. None of those substances will do that. Weed isnít some special, pernicious thing that forever alter you into a pothead once itís tried. If you are seeing a professional about this, have you asked medical questions? Questions about the science of whatís happening?
  #145  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:45 PM
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Oddly enough, the Xmas movies are the younger son’s idea. Norman Rockwell as it may be.
As horrible as you all view me, prior to Xmas, my teenagers actually enjoyed spending time with me.
We enjoyed going out to dinner or grabbing a pizza or watching a movie. Which I guess made it all the worse.

Last edited by Declanium; 02-06-2020 at 07:50 PM.
  #146  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:46 PM
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After carefully* considering the question if she is a troll or a sock, my brilliant contribution to this thread is that she is a sock trolling us.

You can set up another thread thanking me for my contributions.



*if seven seconds can be defined as "carefully"
  #147  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:47 PM
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Oddly enough, the Xmas movies are the younger sonís idea. Norman Rockwell as it may be.
It's not odd. He's trying to make you less neurotic. He's handling you. Because he's tired of your shit and you're less annoying that way.
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  #148  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:51 PM
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Atamasama, it wasn’t one time trying it.
They were doing it for 10 months.
  #149  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:58 PM
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Oddly enough, the Xmas movies are the younger sonís idea. Norman Rockwell as it may be.
As horrible as you all view me, prior to Xmas, my teenagers actually enjoyed spending time with me.
We enjoyed going out to dinner or grabbing a pizza or watching a movie. Which I guess made it all the worse.
If you were such a blast to be around, why the fuck were they smoking pot for 10 months? It's the only way they could tolerate being your perfect little family and satisfying your delusional fantasy.

Listen, these kids are growing up and learning about a world without you in it. Give their leash some slack and let them run on their own. Or things will get so much worse for you, you can't even imagine.
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  #150  
Old 02-06-2020, 08:14 PM
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I'm going against the grain here, but I don't think Declanium is a troll. She might be hamming it up for the boards, but I think the basic story actually happened. She had this illusion of a near-perfect family and it couldn't take any problems, and when she found her kids were behaving badly she couldn't take it.

She's been on this board since 2015, and posted infrequently about run of the mill stuff. Trolls don't wait 4+ years to start trolling.

She says she's a depressive. Depressives catastrophize. This isn't bad behavior that needs to be dealt with, it's ruin and the end of all things.

Also, rules oriented people--she's not the only one on this board--tend to have rigid, black and white thinking. She thinks there are only two options: Either Pot smoking is an absolute disaster and they will never recover, or teenage pot smoking must be peachy keen, a fun activity that all ages can enjoy. She can't see that pot smoking is a cause for concern and there should be consequences, but that it's not the end of the world.
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