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  #251  
Old 02-07-2020, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by chela View Post
Your son charged thousands of dollars in electronics, clothes and food plus more and you never noticed? It was only because your ex thank god anticipated the bills. Where the fuc were you while junior was living large on your dime and you never noticed? Thetre's a reason you are an ex.
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THis is one of the nastiest pit threads I've read in a long time.
Something about pot and kettle.
  #252  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:00 PM
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Funny how her kids are the ones smoking all the pot and we're the ones with all the troll paranoia.
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  #253  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:02 PM
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Declanium has been on the board since 2015. She isn't a sock.
The latter does not necessarily follow the former; some make a game of creating multiple accounts at various times.
  #254  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:04 PM
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Not a troll.
Again, if you think I am, then just don’t respond.
Seems easy enough.
  #255  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:09 PM
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Guys, she's not a troll. You people get so paranoid about socks and trolls. She certainly isn't a Drunky Smurf sock. And did someone say she was a Hurricane Ditka sock!? I mean no. Just no.
I've seen zero evidence of socking here. And the identities that have been proposed are, as far as I can see, ludicrous.

Some people seem to think that there are only three jerks on the internet and they are all socks of one another.

Last edited by Colibri; 02-07-2020 at 04:12 PM.
  #256  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:10 PM
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It's the timing. Not a peep for 40 months then all this drama shortly after some very notable bannings.
This is a non sequitur.
  #257  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:11 PM
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There are always bannings on this board. Do you really think Ditka or Drunky made this account in 2015, made some innocuous posts over the years, only to spring into action--with a personality completely unlike either of them--now?
I think the timing is suspicious enough to warrant investigation by TPTB, that's all.
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I think it's much much more likely that she stumbled upon this board a while ago, posted a few things now and then, and then remembered it after finding the weed and came here to vent.
Or this is a variation of Munchausen by Internet.
  #258  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:29 PM
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I've seen zero evidence of socking here. And the identities that have been proposed are, as far as I can see, ludicrous.

Some people seem to think that there are only three jerks on the internet and they are all socks of one another.
Just the kind of things Russian trolls do when not busy bringing down democracies.
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  #259  
Old 02-07-2020, 05:11 PM
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I've seen zero evidence of socking here. And the identities that have been proposed are, as far as I can see, ludicrous.

Some people seem to think that there are only three jerks on the internet and they are all socks of one another.
The sock-watchers are like a dog with a bone. A dog that has watched way too much L&O (and all the other initialled TV crime-dramas) and has taken it to heart.
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  #260  
Old 02-07-2020, 05:37 PM
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Declanium, just so you know, here in NC where vaping is widespread and pot use is also all over the place (great universities and Research Triangle Park, anyone?), 1 pod of THC vape runs $70 through adult-to-adult channels. a kid could easily be expected to pay $80-100. I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who, a business owner at 45 years old, along with her business-owning PhD husband, goes through one pod per week. A couple of tokes, then off to bed. Just a couple tokes.

They'd burn through a grand in 3 months.

In NY, a kid getting it from a guy he knows, could spend a grand and still only smoke once or twice a week in 10 months.

Like many others here, I smoked when I was in high school. I kept on smoking, not because I was addicted, but...and this is important, so I'm gonna type slow...because it felt good. Marijuana is considered a euphoric because it makes you feel happy. Surely there are things you do for that reason? Baking cookies with your sons sounds like one of them. Remember, these are kids. Bucking authority is what they do. It's what kids have always done. It's what their kids will do when they grow up, meet a relatively normal person, get married, buy a house, and settle down. Just like many people in this and the linked thread.

So to sum up: SMOKING WEED AS A TEENAGER IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE

I stopped smoking in my 30s. Considering picking it back up again once it's legalized. I have a great wife, a great job, and I'm a happy person. I'm not even special! One of the most average folk you'll ever meet. The chances are FAR better that your kids will either grow out of it, or they won't and they'll still thrive.

There are a few things you said that I'd like to address:
Quote:
1: Iím very black and white, as a poster noted.
2: Itís either no drugs or drugs are your life.
3: And the fact that they may be grappling with a substance abuse disorder is my constant thought process.(bullet points added)
1: It's very good that you acknowledge you see things in terms of black and white. Sometimes life would be easier if everything were binary, but they're not. In fact, there are so many shades of grey, I'm not even sure black and white exist in most situations.

2: That is demonstrably not the case. Many people around here have been trying to explain this with first-person examples. Surely that counteracts the 23 year old son of your sister's friend that you heard of. I promise you--PROMISE you that people you know, people you like, people you admire even, take a couple of hits now and again. Statistics show that 22% of adults use marijuana. That's 1 in 5. (Yes, I see the bit which talks about household earning and college completion. I also see the bit about how many millennials there are. Factor that in, and the correlation between pot use and household income is perhaps irrelevant).

3: I'd like to call your attention to your use of the word "may." Three letters, but a BIG word nonetheless. Yes. They may be grappling with a substance abuse disorder. They also may not be. Even if it's a 50-50 chance, you don't have to see the glass as half empty. With a hole in it.

To a degree, we, as human beings, have the liberty of deciding what bothers us. We decide what we focus (or fixate) on. If you feel that this is not something within your control, then there are issues that need to be addressed which have nothing to do with your sons. If it IS within your control, then you have to ask yourself, "What's more important to me: my family, or my opinions?"

Look. I get it. I really do. You feel that you're disappointed in them.

But what you said in your original post in the original thread,
Quote:
I am so hurt by this that I canít even be around them without being angry. Is this because I had only one job? To raise them well, and I screwed it up? How can I get back to feeling warmth towards them?
tells me more than any of your other posts.

You're angry with them because you feel that you failed. Failed as a mom. I'll let you in on a secret. You didn't fail.
From what you've told us about them, they're kind. They're loving. They're fun to be around.

In my opinion, you succeeded. You're a good mom. You've raised good kids. Maybe not flawless, but who among us were perfect kids? Please try to put what's likely a harmless phase into context. It'll do you, and them, and your family as a whole, a world of good.
  #261  
Old 02-07-2020, 05:44 PM
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There are always bannings on this board. Do you really think Ditka or Drunky made this account in 2015, made some innocuous posts over the years, only to spring into action--with a personality completely unlike either of them--now? I'm sorry, but that's nuts.
We do find sleeper socks on rare occasions, but they are not usually used to start threads about getting a root canal. Also, this poster mentioned her two sons in a thread from 2016. That's a pretty long con just in order set up this one.
  #262  
Old 02-07-2020, 08:03 PM
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Not a troll.
Again, if you think I am, then just donít respond.
Seems easy enough.
Are a troll. Donít need your permission. Fuck you.
  #263  
Old 02-07-2020, 08:08 PM
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Are a troll. Donít need your permission. Fuck you.
If you believe this person to be a troll, why are you feeding them?
  #264  
Old 02-07-2020, 08:09 PM
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I imagine that my parents would've hit the roof if they had caught me or my sister smoking weed when we were kids. And I also imagine they would've overreacted quite a bit.
But there's no way they would've stopped loving either one of us, nor would they have thought of it as something we were doing to THEM. The concern in fact, would be BECAUSE they love us.

I think you need to ask yourself if the reason you care so much has to do with THEM, or is it YOU?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium View Post
10 months.
He was only smoking with his brother.
And on own. I suspect more on own.
Hence the $1000
I thought weed was not that expensive. Iím not sure tho. Weíre in NY. Still illegal. So I donít know going rate for weed or the THC carts that we found too
Or perhaps it was simply a better grade of weed? I mean, I'm guessing the cheap stuff would be more hazardous?

Have you ever seen someone go through alcohol withdrawal? Ever seen what happens when someone tries to quit cold turkey? I have.

Or have you ever lost someone due to the effects alcohol addiction? I have. (The tragedy is that she was trying to get sober, but she got sick, and because her body wasn't fully healed, she wasn't able to fight it off).

I'll still drink, don't get me wrong. (I probably shouldn't, due to all the meds I have to take, but I try to stick to special occassions)

But I'd be far, far worried about any children I had getting hooked on booze than pot.

(And actually, vaping is far more unhealthy than pot, I believe. THAT would worry me.)



(Is Declanium a troll? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know, I don't care. I do know, however, that there are people out there who are completely unreasonable when it comes to this type of shit.)
  #265  
Old 02-07-2020, 10:56 PM
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The dog told me
Right after you shotgunned it with a big ole fatty eh?
  #266  
Old 02-07-2020, 11:04 PM
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Well bless your heart.

You know what, I'm just going to call my ex Jeremy from now on because that's his name. My son is Jerry (Jeremy Jr.) and my daughter is Allison. I'm Brigid. You're a talking hemmorhoid. Now that we're all introduced:

He and some of his buddies decided it would be fun to cut class, something else he got in trouble for, and cruise around for a day. One of them was always bragging on his parent's money so Jerry wanted to show him he wasn't the only big spender.

If you've ever seen 5 teenage boys eat you know they can clear out a Burger King or a Wawa faster than light. Especially when one of their buddies is paying and they've got all day so they need breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.

Electronics are expensive. Like a Playstation was a couple hundred bucks and the games were maybe $60 apiece. Throw in an iPod and the junk that goes with it and yhou can spend over thousand easy in one trip.
Clothes are expensive especially when you're into jeans that cost up to $100 a piece.

Jerry did have a part time job and he would occasionally show up with a new gadget or clothes that he bought with his own money.

I was at work because where the fuck else would I be on a weekday?

When Jeremy and I were married we split up the expenses. Halfsies on rent and utilities and he paid the credit cards because he made more money and used them a lot more than I did.He is/was way more anal about money than I am, so sue me. Just don't expect your restitution on time.


Jerry actually hid most of the stuff he bought because he thought he could sneak back and return it later but couldn't because he didn't have the card and didn't get a chance to take it again. He thought stealing the bill would buy him another month of time to do so. He was flailing and didn't know what else to do and was afraid to tell us.

We made him return everything he could, and the stuff he couldn't (and ovbiously the food) he had to pay back out of his paycheck from his job.

Lastly, Jeremy and I got divorced because we were more like friends shacking up and after the kids were grown we wanted to do very different things. It was a very friendly and easy process and we are still good friends to this day.

I'd much much rather be Jeremy's ex than a menstrual clot- you ladies will know what I'm talking about, it sort of slithers halfway out and sticks there, and you just know that no matter how fast you pull your undies down it's going to fall out and make a horrible mess all over the place- or worse, you.
Your fascination with the cremains in your underpants which you try to read like teal leaves to explain your relationships would be funny if it weren't so pitiful.
  #267  
Old 02-07-2020, 11:06 PM
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Something about pot and kettle.
Both were forged in fire is that what you mean?

Last edited by chela; 02-07-2020 at 11:09 PM.
  #268  
Old 02-07-2020, 11:53 PM
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What the actual fuck chela? Cremains? Is there some sort of fucked history I'm unaware of here between you and tricoteuse? Cause you seem to be acting like a real dick.
  #269  
Old 02-08-2020, 12:17 AM
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What the actual fuck chela? Cremains? Is there some sort of fucked history I'm unaware of here between you and tricoteuse? Cause you seem to be acting like a real dick.
She talks to hemmorhoids and compares herself to a menstrual clot, I was being nice.
  #270  
Old 02-08-2020, 01:56 AM
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geez, trying to follow the thread's flow, here.
  #271  
Old 02-08-2020, 03:48 AM
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I'm still in shock over the earlier posts. That's the harshest Beckdawreck has EVER been, by far.

It was well deserved, too. Didn't know you had it in ya, Beck! *high five*
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  #272  
Old 02-08-2020, 04:45 AM
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I'm still in shock over the earlier posts. That's the harshest Beckdawreck has EVER been, by far.

It was well deserved, too. Didn't know you had it in ya, Beck! *high five*
The little dog thang just got to me.
  #273  
Old 02-08-2020, 07:12 AM
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He chose to swear on the dogís life that he would not smoke weed again.
Iím a bit nervous for the dog. Heís 7 years old.
OK. That was funny. In a good way.
  #274  
Old 02-08-2020, 07:29 AM
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Ten years ago, after my father left the toilet lid open in the master bathroom, she took her own life. He found her prostrate on the linoleum, her cold fingers still clutching her pearls.
You'll get my pearls when you...


And don't forget: if pearls are outlawed then only outlaws will have pearls.
  #275  
Old 02-08-2020, 08:04 AM
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geez, trying to follow the thread's flow, here.
Heavy.
  #276  
Old 02-08-2020, 08:23 AM
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Heavy.
Great Scott!
  #277  
Old 02-08-2020, 08:48 AM
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O B nice!
  #278  
Old 02-08-2020, 08:48 AM
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If you believe this person to be a troll, why are you feeding them?
Why do the mods here let trolls go on for years? Itís the Dopeís culture.
  #279  
Old 02-08-2020, 09:47 AM
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I'm still in shock over the earlier posts. That's the harshest Beckdawreck has EVER been, by far.

It was well deserved, too. Didn't know you had it in ya, Beck! *high five*
Yeah, when even Beck calls you out, you done bad, bad, bad.
  #280  
Old 02-08-2020, 10:08 AM
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I'd like to think that Declanium has had a chance to think about her general approach to this issue and realizes that some of the extreme ways she's phrased her feelings was an over-reaction. It's reasonable to be angry with your kids when they have screwed up and deeply disappointed you with respect to crossing certain lines. I recognize that to some, me among them if I'm honest, discovering you kid has been smoking pot can come as a bit of a shock to the system. It's reasonable to be angry with them and it's reasonable to do some soul searching about where you may have gone wrong as a parent. The fact that they've managed to hide it from you for an extended period of time does not help because there is some sense of a long standing deceit. i.e. They were so sweet on Christmas but were sneaking around and lying the rest of the time. Who are they?

Right. Get all that.

But as an adult and a parent, there has to be a sense of perspective that kicks in after the initial shock and disappointment. There is an adjustment period of reconciling your anger with their poor decisions and your love for them. Hopefully, Declanium will realize that love must endure and that coming to terms with the anger and disappointment is the hard work of a responsible parent that is required of her.
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Last edited by QuickSilver; 02-08-2020 at 10:09 AM.
  #281  
Old 02-08-2020, 10:09 AM
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And I should keep up loving relationships with them regardless.
You don’t really love them now. What start?
  #282  
Old 02-08-2020, 10:16 AM
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I was thinking about this thread as I walked my dog this morning. The trolling is obvious to me, it all started with a simple enough thread in which s/he said that her kids were smoking pot and she was upset. But as it builds s/he keeps adding more and more absurd details, now she’s not going to her sons’ weddings because of this and she’s worried about the dog because the kid had sworn on the life of the dog (who does that?); next s/he’ll come in to say s/he killed the dog to teach them a lesson.

I’m convinced some of you realize that Declanium, is trolling, but that you’re enjoying the ride. Declanium Is like a heel in professional wrestling, you know it’s an act, but it’s fun to stand on your chair and boo.
  #283  
Old 02-08-2020, 10:35 AM
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... now sheís not going to her sonsí weddings because of this ...
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Originally Posted by madmonk28 View Post
Iím convinced some of you realize that Declanium, is trolling, but that youíre enjoying the ride. Declanium Is like a heel in professional wrestling, you know itís an act, but itís fun to stand on your chair and boo.
You don't consider that it's just part of her over-reaction? She's still trippin'. And not in a good way. I'm sure we all agree she could use some of that pot her kids have been smoking. It would do her a lot of good.

What she needs is some time to deal with her anger issues. Maybe professional help of the kind she hasn't been getting (or working) to focus on her obsessive black & white thinking.

What you see as troll acting is more easily explained by her being defensive. She doesn't come across as an entirely flexible and rational thinker. If she was, she probably would not have expressed herself in the ways that she has, or even started a thread about it.
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  #284  
Old 02-08-2020, 10:57 AM
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Why do the mods here let trolls go on for years? Itís the Dopeís culture.
Well, you for one seem to enjoy feeding them.
  #285  
Old 02-08-2020, 11:03 AM
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Well, you for one seem to enjoy feeding them.
I paid my $30 or what the fuck ever it was, so Iím going to post when I want to.
  #286  
Old 02-08-2020, 11:18 AM
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I paid my $30 or what the fuck ever it was, so Iím going to post when I want to.
Speaking of anger issues...
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  #287  
Old 02-08-2020, 12:09 PM
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And I should keep up loving relationships with them regardless...

Am I right?
Yes, this. You're their mother. You should love them unconditionally. That's what everybody is trying to tell you. Forgive them if they've done wrong in your eyes. Don't forsake them.
  #288  
Old 02-08-2020, 12:31 PM
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I paid my $30 or what the fuck ever it was, so Iím going to post when I want to.
I never said you shouldn't. It's just hypocritical to complain about trolling when you are enthusiastically standing on your chair and booing.
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Old 02-08-2020, 12:46 PM
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It's delusional to think that ignoring them will make trolls go away. Only the mods have the power to stop them, but the ones here are too out of touch to address the problem.
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Old 02-08-2020, 12:49 PM
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The theory behind "Do not feed the troll" is that what they seek (at least what some of them are seeking) is attention. So responding to them is giving them what they want. Personally, there have been cases where I was suspicious of a poster and I tend to avoid participating in their threads.
  #291  
Old 02-08-2020, 12:55 PM
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It's delusional to think that ignoring them will make trolls go away. Only the mods have the power to stop them, but the ones here are too out of touch to address the problem.
Be careful what you wish for, considering your own posting history.
  #292  
Old 02-08-2020, 12:57 PM
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Oh noes
  #293  
Old 02-08-2020, 02:19 PM
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Maybe my boys are oblivious to my inner feelings.
How is anyone to know your inner feelings? Do you actually expect your sons to read your mind?
  #294  
Old 02-08-2020, 03:11 PM
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I'm still in shock over the earlier posts. That's the harshest Beckdawreck has EVER been, by far.

It was well deserved, too. Didn't know you had it in ya, Beck! *high five*
IKR? Never seen Beck lay a smackdown on a fool before. Beck, don't forget to add the "Bless your heart!" to really drive it home.
  #295  
Old 02-08-2020, 06:02 PM
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What she needs is some time to deal with her anger issues. Maybe professional help of the kind she hasn't been getting (or working) to focus on her obsessive black & white thinking.
[Concatenated because I haven't used that word in forty years.]

This. Forgive me for not slogging through these twin fusterclucks, but has she said she's spent any time with the boys actually talking about how she feels? How she feels rejected and a failure because they crossed her "one red line"? Hell, did they even know it was a red line and what that meant? I'd be stunned to learn that my mother, who I had a wonderful, loving, forgiving relationship would cut me out of my life for any reason.
  #296  
Old 02-09-2020, 01:47 AM
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When BECK tears you a new one, you KNOW you've fucked up.

Last edited by Guinastasia; 02-09-2020 at 01:47 AM.
  #297  
Old 02-09-2020, 07:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium View Post
Maybe my boys are oblivious to my inner feelings.
You've told us that your niece was reading these threads on the SDMB with you, so she is certainly fully aware of your inner feelings.

How much do your nieces communicate with your sons? I would find it hard to believe that they haven't spoken to their cousins, and let them know how their mother feels about this. Maybe even pointed them to the SDMB.
  #298  
Old 02-09-2020, 10:51 AM
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Yes, this. You're their mother. You should love them unconditionally.
Not that I think it applies in this particular case, nothing wrong with a little dagga, but as a general rule, this is bullshit. Plenty of things damn well should be a reason to stop loving your own kid - if they rape someone, or murder a school full of kids, or vote Republican...
  #299  
Old 02-09-2020, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by MrDibble View Post
Not that I think it applies in this particular case, nothing wrong with a little dagga, but as a general rule, this is bullshit. Plenty of things damn well should be a reason to stop loving your own kid - if they rape someone, or murder a school full of kids, or vote Republican...
And everybody knows that smoking weed is a gateway to all of those behaviors.

Not that I listen to any of your bullshit, Dribble.
  #300  
Old 02-09-2020, 11:35 AM
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And everybody knows that smoking weed is a gateway to all of those behaviors.
Did you read the first part of what I posted, you idiotic shitgibbon?
Quote:
Not that I listen to any of your bullshit, Dribble.
That's nice dear.

Love the username humour, too - so novel and edgy. Very au courant.
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