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  #51  
Old 02-14-2020, 07:58 PM
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  #52  
Old 02-14-2020, 08:17 PM
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As a parent, I do not want anyone other that me or my wife talking to my kids about bodily functions, intimate areas, or anything like that. I don't want to normalize having other adults talking about that stuff in any way for the kid. Kids won't know the difference between a helpful adult and a pedo trying to groom them. I want it to be a hard line that doesn't get crossed. That's just something I'm going to be super protective and proactive about because I don't want to take any chances.

What I might consider appropriate for the bidet is if the wife told the kid "It's called a bidet. You should ask your parents to explain what it is." And then the wife should tell the parents that their child asked about it. But to be honest, I probably would be worried and might consider using a different babysitter. Nothing against the OP, but I wouldn't want to have that doubt.
Why would you be worried because the home now has a bidet? Is it the phrase "butthole washer" that causes you concerns? I don't think that was intended to be serious.

Bidets are very uncommon in the UK too, but I wouldn't be in the slightest bit worried about my child having a childminder that had one. Most childcarers do have to talk to the kids they're looking after about bodily functions sometimes - it's part of the job.

I suppose it would be a good idea to let the parents know that the toilet now has a bidet attachment, and though you're not going to especially encourage her to use it, she might decide to at some point, since she's eight and capable of going to the bathroom by herself.
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:38 PM
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At 8-years-old, I'm guessing the kid's reaction to a bidet is going to be Beavis & Butthead style giggling.

(Good god, at that age, didn't most of us laugh with our friends over bodily functions and the like?)
  #54  
Old 02-14-2020, 10:37 PM
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Ah, it's, um, not such a threatening place as suggested by filmore. I think he's just having a hard time distinguishing between a baby sitter and Rando, the washroom guy.
This. FFS this is an eye-opening thread.
I think filmore is way off base, but in fairness, a kid is way more likely to be hurt or molested by someone their parents left them in the care of than by "Rando, the washroom guy." As a parent, I am vigilant about people who make me or my kid uncomfortable, and I keep my eyes open, and have very open communication with my kids. I'm not concerned about appropriate talk about bodily functions, but I might be concerned about a conversation about clothing, or a seemingly innocent game that involved ignoring the kid's protests.

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  #55  
Old 02-14-2020, 11:20 PM
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As a parent, I do not want anyone other that me or my wife talking to my kids about bodily functions, intimate areas, or anything like that. I don't want to normalize having other adults talking about that stuff in any way for the kid. Kids won't know the difference between a helpful adult and a pedo trying to groom them. I want it to be a hard line that doesn't get crossed. That's just something I'm going to be super protective and proactive about because I don't want to take any chances.

What I might consider appropriate for the bidet is if the wife told the kid "It's called a bidet. You should ask your parents to explain what it is." And then the wife should tell the parents that their child asked about it. But to be honest, I probably would be worried and might consider using a different babysitter. Nothing against the OP, but I wouldn't want to have that doubt.
If my wife or I were babysitting your kid I would hope that you would quickly find a replacement. Too much liability to deal with parents who freak out about having a bidet in their house or are terrified of someone saying the word "bathroom" to children. Were I explaining a bidet to a child, I'd say that some people use them to wash themselves after going to the bathroom and I'd welcome the paernts to to fire us.

The whole point about teaching teaching between "good touching" and "bad touching" is that not all touching is bad.

A one time explanation about a toilet is so far removed from pedo grooming that it's silly.

Bidets or washlets as they are called in Japan are ubiquitous. Everyone has them which may be one reason I just see this as something silly. The last time I lived in a house without a bidet was 10 years ago and we have had ma
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Old 02-15-2020, 02:17 AM
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What, did you drown in the bidet?

*tap* *tap*

Dude?
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  #57  
Old 02-15-2020, 04:10 AM
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Wow. There's some serious puritanical American prudishness bullshit showing in this thread. It's completely baffling to me.
I was just about to skip to the end and post that this is the most uniquely American thread I've encountered in quite some time.
  #58  
Old 02-15-2020, 07:37 AM
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Maybe filmore is Catholic.
  #59  
Old 02-15-2020, 07:56 AM
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Got it on the first try! Maybe I should have been a plumber...
Well there's your answer. Whenever the babysitee is coming over, you dismantle and hide the shameful device. Later you reinstall it. No-one need ever know what goes on in
the Homie home. Except us.
  #60  
Old 02-15-2020, 08:14 AM
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She (Mrs. Homie) says that we should tell "Coraline" that the attachment is Never To Be Touched, Never To Be Asked About. With any luck, she'll lose interest and won't touch it or ask about it.
What is the fascination with my Forbidden Closet of Mystery?
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  #61  
Old 02-15-2020, 09:03 AM
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Bidets or washlets as they are called in Japan are ubiquitous. Everyone has them which may be one reason I just see this as something silly. The last time I lived in a house without a bidet was 10 years ago and we have had ma
ny children and adults over to our home all the time. Washlets are just part of society over here.
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Old 02-15-2020, 11:43 AM
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Postus interruptus?
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Old 02-15-2020, 11:51 AM
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A cold steam of water does not sound comfortable, is there no connection to the hot line?

Tell the kid you wash your feet / the dogs with it.
  #64  
Old 02-15-2020, 12:08 PM
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I read the beginning of the thread (and posted), but skipped a bunch and want to share this thought re answering plumbing questions from other people's kids.

I'm an only child, grew up in the 50s (limited media exposure). No brothers, male cousins, no pets (i.e., dogs, horses), etc. I truly did not know that it was common for men/boys to pee standing up. I knew males had penises, sort of, though I had never seen one or seen a picture of one. When my father came out of the bathroom the seat was up, but I didn't know why. I assumed that for some reason he wanted to sit on the rim instead of on the seat. <shrug>

In 4th grade (age 10) we moved to an Air Force base where our classes were held in old WWII barracks buildings while a new school was being built. I walked into the bathroom, which had only served men, and saw white porcelain things attached to the wall at waist height. I had never seen a urinal-- where WOULD I have seen one?? I didn't know what they were or what they were for, although I saw that water was involved, as there was a handle and a drain.

Question: how would the OP's wife have handled the question if, for example, she had been my teacher and had accompanied me while exploring the facilities, and I had asked, "What's that for?"

Would she have screamed, clapped her hand over my eyes, and hustled me out of the room, whispering, "Never, never ask me anything like that again!!"

A bidet is PLUMBING, for crap's pee's sake.
  #65  
Old 02-16-2020, 10:56 AM
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A cold steam of water does not sound comfortable, is there no connection to the hot line?
It is not, and I wasn't going to spend the extra money on one with a heating attachment. It's been over a week, I've gotten used to a numb gooch after #2.
  #66  
Old 02-16-2020, 01:48 PM
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You could always mount a simple set of instructions, making it self-explanatory. Other guests would appreciate it, too.
Like these instructions.
  #67  
Old 02-17-2020, 10:09 AM
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REPORT

No school today, so Coraline and her sister are here. Neither Mrs. Homie nor I has said a word to her about The Mystery Thing. Coraline has been in and out of our bathroom, and I didn't hear any startled screams coming from there, nor did she ask either of us about it. I guess she's not interested.

Much ado about not a lot.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:32 AM
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At last, a question I am uniquely qualified to answer, having recently installed the exact model bidet attachment and having had to give an introductory lecture to an eight-year-old and his 6-year-old brother....the 2-year-old headed straight for the controls as I feared. Here is the exact lecture I gave: "I need to show you something new in the bathroom. This is called a bidet, and it sprays water on your butt to clean off the poop so you don't need to use as much toilet paper or wipes. (pause for giggles) The water is cold, and the spray can be a little strong, so until you are ready to try it, don't touch it. Don't touch the dials, don't turn the dials, don't lean on the dials, don't stand on the dials. This is only used when sitting on the potty, so do not touch the dials when you are off the potty either. Pretend it doesn't exist. It was expensive, and Grandma can't afford to get it replaced or fixed so Do. Not. Touch. It. If someday you want to learn how to use it, Mommy or Daddy or I will help you. Until then, don't touch it. If by "accident" you do touch it, tell me right away."

So far, they haven't touched it. My primary fear, aside from them stepping on it in order to climb up onto the counter (they are boys who will go out of their way to climb up on anything, for any reason or no reason) is that they will turn it on while the lid is up and they are off it, shooting water across the room (as the plumber did when he installed it) and then panic, not turn it off and leave the room, letting water flood the room. It shoots across into the shower, but unfortunately the shower door prevents disaster from being averted.

Now we are not a family overburdened by excessive modesty, and the boys are still young enough that they accept company in the bathroom, and their parents really want them to learn to use a bidet, because they use a ton of wipes and TP and produce tons of poop, and they are family, so I understand that the lecture might need to be different for a delicate girl-creature who isn't part of the family. But my primary concerns are, don't touch it, don't break it, don't flood the bathroom. And I'm a big believer in just being matter-of-fact. So far, they haven't touched it, broken it or flooded the bathroom.
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  #69  
Old 02-17-2020, 01:05 PM
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[ Coraline has been in and out of our bathroom, and I didn't hear any startled screams coming from there, nor did she ask either of us about it. I guess she's not interested.
Or else she already knows what it is.

Even if she hasn't got one at home, eight is old enough to read. I see ads for the things. Even if the ad doesn't explain the use, eight's old enough to look up a word.
  #70  
Old 02-17-2020, 01:44 PM
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I'm an only child, grew up in the 50s (limited media exposure). No brothers, male cousins, no pets (i.e., dogs, horses), etc. I truly did not know that it was common for men/boys to pee standing up. I knew males had penises, sort of, though I had never seen one or seen a picture of one. When my father came out of the bathroom the seat was up, but I didn't know why. I assumed that for some reason he wanted to sit on the rim instead of on the seat. <shrug>

[...] I had never seen a urinal-- where WOULD I have seen one?? I didn't know what they were or what they were for, although I saw that water was involved, as there was a handle and a drain.
This is kind of interesting to me. My daughters have seen a urinal many times, because often I'm the one out with them and when they need to go to the bathroom, I take them into the boys room. So I bet that's somewhat a generational child-rearing thing now that more men participate more actively in the child rearing process.

As for seeing penes, my daughters have walked in on me enough times in the bathroom or while taking a bath to know what one is (though they know not to walk in on anyone else). While I try not to be excessively naked around my children, it doesn't particularly bug me. My own parents generally covered up, but I certainly remember seeing them naked from time to time.

Last edited by pulykamell; 02-17-2020 at 01:45 PM.
  #71  
Old 02-17-2020, 02:50 PM
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At last, a question I am uniquely qualified to answer, having recently installed the exact model bidet attachment and having had to give an introductory lecture to an eight-year-old and his 6-year-old brother <snip>.....
BTW, if you want to see for yourself how the bidet works with everyone in the room and fully clothed, satisfying everyone's curiosity (including yours), do what the instructions that came with mine said to do to make sure I had installed it correctly. Stretch plastic wrap tightly across the seat and push the different buttons to observe where the stream goes, how to direct it (if that's an option), how to turn it off, etc. You may have to lean on the seat-- some of them may require pressure on the seat in order to work. This is a good thing to do when you install it even if you don't have kids. Really interesting and instructive!
  #72  
Old 02-17-2020, 04:20 PM
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I've never really understood the need for this bidet thing. It seems either too much or insufficient to me. I mean, normal wiping usually does it for me (and you can wet the first round of toilet paper, if you feel you need). And if I really shit my pants, I'll have to shower anyway (and change pants for that matter). So what is the bidet good for?

How hard does the darn thing spout, anyway? Enough to hit the ceiling (unless there's a butt in the way)?
  #73  
Old 02-17-2020, 06:20 PM
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I've never really understood the need for this bidet thing. It seems either too much or insufficient to me. I mean, normal wiping usually does it for me (and you can wet the first round of toilet paper, if you feel you need). And if I really shit my pants, I'll have to shower anyway (and change pants for that matter). So what is the bidet good for?

How hard does the darn thing spout, anyway? Enough to hit the ceiling (unless there's a butt in the way)?
I have a spray bidet (which we originally got for washing cloth diapers with our kids) and, for me, it makes a huge difference in the amount of toilet paper I use. I'm sure everyone's stools are different, but I usually need several rounds of folded up toilet paper to get clean (and I always have). With a bidet, it's down to one.
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Old 02-17-2020, 06:42 PM
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I've never really understood the need for this bidet thing. It seems either too much or insufficient to me. I mean, normal wiping usually does it for me (and you can wet the first round of toilet paper, if you feel you need). And if I really shit my pants, I'll have to shower anyway (and change pants for that matter). So what is the bidet good for?

How hard does the darn thing spout, anyway? Enough to hit the ceiling (unless there's a butt in the way)?
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I have a spray bidet (which we originally got for washing cloth diapers with our kids) and, for me, it makes a huge difference in the amount of toilet paper I use. I'm sure everyone's stools are different, but I usually need several rounds of folded up toilet paper to get clean (and I always have). With a bidet, it's down to one.
If you have hemorrhoids, the water spray is gentler than scraping with paper. I haven't had a colonoscopy since I got my bidet seat, but I imagine the prep would be easier. Also, if you have a septic system, you're putting much less (if any) paper into it. The spray leaves your nether parts damp, so you may still have to dab with a bit of paper, but not much.

I have a different model from the one in the OP. It's a Brondell, and both the seat AND water are heated (you can adjust the temp), and you can also adjust the force, exact location, and duration of the spray. It has a drying cycle (blows warm air-- temp is adjustable), but I don't have the patience for that. It was the discussion in this thread that led me to buy one.
  #75  
Old 02-17-2020, 06:51 PM
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How wide an area on you gets wet and then needs to be dried? Or do you not use TP to dry off?
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Old 02-17-2020, 07:30 PM
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Not trying to be funny, and I'm glad for all who appreciate this bidet machinery. It's just that I have this image of myself, stumbling in a somewhat squatting, bow-legged fashion, laterally transferring myself from one porcelain throne to another, hampered by the trousers around my ankles..!

It would be much neater to clean yourself at the first station, wouldn't it? Just get a longer hose to your hand-shower (and a shower head with a press-discharge lever, like the ones we used to have at the butcher's and at the restaurant dishwasher's where I worked a long time ago)!
  #77  
Old 02-17-2020, 08:26 PM
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How wide an area on you gets wet and then needs to be dried? Or do you not use TP to dry off?
Speaking for myself: from about the bottom of the nutsack to the entire circumference of the anus, and everything in between. One swipe with TP dries me off.
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Old 02-17-2020, 09:46 PM
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I've never really understood the need for this bidet thing. It seems either too much or insufficient to me. I mean, normal wiping usually does it for me (and you can wet the first round of toilet paper, if you feel you need). And if I really shit my pants, I'll have to shower anyway (and change pants for that matter). So what is the bidet good for?

How hard does the darn thing spout, anyway? Enough to hit the ceiling (unless there's a butt in the way)?
IME they're mostly used in places where plumbing isn't good enough for toilet roll. But with the way that toilet roll clogs up sewers everywhere, they're probably a good idea anywhere if you can fit one.
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Old 02-18-2020, 08:18 AM
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How hard does the darn thing spout, anyway? Enough to hit the ceiling (unless there's a butt in the way)?
Power washer + bidet = !?
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Old 02-18-2020, 09:17 AM
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Power washer + bidet = !?
LOL you wouldn't need to floss for a week!
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Old 02-18-2020, 10:11 AM
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As for seeing penes, my daughters have walked in on me enough times in the bathroom or while taking a bath to know what one is (though they know not to walk in on anyone else). While I try not to be excessively naked around my children, it doesn't particularly bug me. My own parents generally covered up, but I certainly remember seeing them naked from time to time.
Bill Engvald has a bit about taking a shower when his eight-year old daughter with her friend suddenly jerks the curtain open and says, "See?"

"... You cannot climb a tile wall."
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Old 02-18-2020, 12:23 PM
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A cold steam of water does not sound comfortable, is there no connection to the hot line?
I don't have a bidet, but I'm considering getting one. At first I thought, of course I need a hot connection, I don't want cold water squirting on me. But then I thought, it always takes a minute or two to warm up at the faucet, so why wouldn't it here? And if the first few minutes are going to be cold anyway, a hot connection is basically useless.

What do experienced bidet users think of this line of reasoning? Is warm water possible or worth the effort?
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Old 02-18-2020, 01:26 PM
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The first few times getting hit with cold water is....bracing. And your bottom will stay chilled for a while...my daughter tried it out yesterday and for 15 minutes was announcing her butt was frozen (she's 37....) but after a few days of using it, you get used to the cold and it is refreshing. And it was better on the days when it wasn't 20'F out. I have found that if you wait a minute after the rinse, you can dry off with less TP than if you are racing to get out of there.

And as for why you might want one....let's be blunt. If you poop once a day and it's hard pellets encased in slime that leaves little trace, you may not need a bidet. But I have never fully become normal after being hospitalized with C. diff and I can poop seven times a day. That was a lot of toilet paper, and a lot of irritation. Add in hemorrhoids on occasion. And consider those who are NOT in menopause. My toilet is not situated close enough to the sink to moisten the TP, and we were using way too many wipes (which should not be flushed, no matter what they say...apparently my city had to go to one woman's house and BEG her to stop flushing wipes because it caused some problems with the sewer system. Yes, they traced it back to her house.) And from what I understand, people with IBS and Crohn's can get irritation from small amounts of TP being left behind.
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Old 02-18-2020, 03:16 PM
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What do experienced bidet users think of this line of reasoning? Is warm water possible or worth the effort?
How cold is the cold water in your bathroom sink? Unless it's so cold that it's uncomfortable to touch, it won't really be an issue. On below-freezing days outside, the water will be cold enough that it's noticeable but still bearable. On most days, it's totally fine. I actually have a hot/cold unit but I've never bothered to hook up the hot water line.
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Old 02-18-2020, 04:20 PM
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Power washer + bidet = !?
Optional at extra cost, you can get the units with steam cleaning plus hot wax.

(Certainly avoids the frozen-butt problem.)
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Old 02-18-2020, 04:41 PM
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I don't have a bidet, but I'm considering getting one. At first I thought, of course I need a hot connection, I don't want cold water squirting on me. But then I thought, it always takes a minute or two to warm up at the faucet, so why wouldn't it here? And if the first few minutes are going to be cold anyway, a hot connection is basically useless.

What do experienced bidet users think of this line of reasoning? Is warm water possible or worth the effort?
It doesn't need a hot connection. The device heats the water. At least this one does.
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Old 02-21-2020, 01:18 PM
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I've never really understood the need for this bidet thing. It seems either too much or insufficient to me. I mean, normal wiping usually does it for me (and you can wet the first round of toilet paper, if you feel you need). And if I really shit my pants, I'll have to shower anyway (and change pants for that matter). So what is the bidet good for?

How hard does the darn thing spout, anyway? Enough to hit the ceiling (unless there's a butt in the way)?
Without getting into TMI territory, let's just say that there are many variations in anatomy and diet that mean that bidets are more useful for some than others.

I do rather like this thought experiment, though: If you accidentally got some shit smeared on your elbow, would you wipe at it with paper until the paper came away clean and wait until your next shower, or would you use water to wash it?

Mine has adjustable pressure, but it's definitely strong enough to spray out of the toilet, and not strong enough to reach the ceiling (nor is it angled straight up). There's a weight sensor in the seat so it won't spray if you press the button and aren't sitting on the toilet, though if you're determined to make a mess you can press down on the seat and spray it at the walls.

For my money, the one that warms the water is worth the extra $hundreds, but it depends on climate. Ours also warms the seat, which is pretty nice first thing in the morning.
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Old 02-21-2020, 10:17 PM
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So, any update on what happened? Did you tell the little kid? Was she traumatized? Did her parents flip out?
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Old Yesterday, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Guinastasia View Post
So, any update on what happened? Did you tell the little kid? Was she traumatized? Did her parents flip out?
Post #67:

REPORT

No school today, so Coraline and her sister are here. Neither Mrs. Homie nor I has said a word to her about The Mystery Thing. Coraline has been in and out of our bathroom, and I didn't hear any startled screams coming from there, nor did she ask either of us about it. I guess she's not interested.

Much ado about not a lot.
  #90  
Old Yesterday, 11:59 AM
RivkahChaya's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CairoCarol View Post
It's an American thing, and it's not prudishness exactly, it's just that most of us find bidets weird and exotic, since they are exceedingly rare in the US. If you shower assiduously at least once a day, they don't seem all that necessary.
People in Europe do not shower once a day. I know this, because my mother somehow had the position of Official Explainer of the US Custom of the Daily Shower to visiting faculty from other places (mostly E. Europe) at the university where she taught.

Anyway, we had a bidet in my parents' house where I grew up. An actual fixture, not an add-on to the toilet. Installed in 1975. It was in my parents' bathroom. My mother explained to me what it was for, and that it was being installed because one of my grandfathers had a bad leg, and difficulty standing in the shower, so he couldn't shower every day.

I was eight.

For a few months, I had a good time showing the device to my friends, but the novelty quickly wore off. I think once in the entire history of living in the house, I sent a friend to my parents bathroom because my brother was in ours, and she came back unsure about the extra fixture.

My grandfather ended up not using it terribly often, or ever, as far as I know-- albeit, my parents always gave them their room when my grandparents visited, and my parents slept on the pull-out couch.

When I was about 10, my mother got a toenail fungal infection, and had to soak her feet. She used the bidet. She could fill it up with water, add the anti-fungal medication, then sit on the toilet, and do her soak.

When I was about 12, I discovered that the bidet (which had two streams), could hit certain places in just the right way, and I wanted to be able to use it, but my mother never wanted to let me. I guess the first time I was in there for 20 minutes, she knew what I was up to. She was the sort of parent who didn't object to stuff in the abstract, but was squicky about knowing what was happening when.

But Coraline probably won't need a babysitter by the time she's 12.
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  #91  
Old Yesterday, 12:19 PM
pulykamell is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RivkahChaya View Post
People in Europe do not shower once a day. I know this, because my mother somehow had the position of Official Explainer of the US Custom of the Daily Shower to visiting faculty from other places (mostly E. Europe) at the university where she taught.
I think you'll probably find this varies. I lived in Hungary for five years and people my age seemed to shower daily. My Hungarian girlfriend who lived with me definitely did.

Here's a stat I was able to find. In France 70% of men and about 76% of women shower daily (that's actually slightly more than the US average, which looks like it's about 72% and 73% respectively). In Russia, ~35% of men and ~61% of women shower daily. In Germany, it's more like 45% of men and 51% of women.
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