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Old 01-30-2020, 09:01 AM
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NFL - PLAYOFFS - SUPER BOWL full of Jelly


It's been a fun season, but the last game of this year is here, and I'm hoping it will be a doozy. Both the Chiefs and the Niners looked dominant in their conference championship games, so there is hope it will be a great game to watch. So grab your adult beverages, get your chicken wings, do your squares, and let's play the Super Bowl.

Your game:

Sunday, February 2, 2020.
Miami Florida. Kickoff at 5:30 p.m. CST

Kansas City Chiefs v. San Francisco 49ers.

Damn, I'm excited for this game. Two teams I can root for, that are very good teams, and they matchup up very well against the other. The classic "high powered offense v. stingy defense". Here's hoping it lives up to the hype.

But, since this is the Super Bowl, there are so many things outside of the actual game of football that grab attention. Some thoughts on those:

Ads: I just don't get it. I didn't get it in 1984 with the Apple ad. I don't get the Budweiser frogs. And I won't get whatever gets deemed the "most iconic ad" of this years' Super Bowl. I'll likely chuckle at some of the more amusing ones, but I honestly don't understand watching football just to have companies try to sell you stuff. And now I'm seeing companies "premiering" their ads on morning shows (thanks waiting rooms!), so you don't even have to watch them live. And while I'm at it, get offa my lawn.

Halftime Show: This, at least, I understand. A free show by a "major artist" with a lot of bright, flashy things. The fam and I enjoyed the over-the-topness of Katy Perry, the energy of the U2 show, and the amazingness of child-rapist Michael Jackson. I have no interest in J.Lo or Shakira this year, but my kids will watch and be entertained.

Puppy Bowl: Stupid, but cute and fun for a couple minutes.

Off field happenings: My evil side shows up as a I hope for another holier than thou player getting busted with a hooker. I am a bad person.

Prop Bets: These are very interesting to me. Who gets the first TD (Damien Williams)? Who scores more, James Hardin -7.5 or the total points in the first half (Hardin)? Which will be higher, the number of tweets by Trump on the day or the number of points the Niners score (Niners)? You can find almost anything to bet. From a gambling perspective, they're dumb bets, but they're fun.

Finally, onto the football game. I think the game will go as expected, with the Niners running the ball, playing defense, and trying to keep the ball out of the Chiefs hands. And I expect Andy Reid to find interesting ways to move the ball against that defense. I do think Reid is the more inventive than Shannahan, but the game usually comes down to execution, so we will see. Should be fun.

Anyone going to watch the game for football? What do you think of the ads? Who is going to win the Puppy Bowl. Let's hear from you!
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Old 01-30-2020, 09:55 AM
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There will a Hyundai commercial starring Chris Evans, John Krasinski, and Rachel Dracht, all Boston area natives, but speaking with terrible Boston accents. Hyundai is currently running radio commercials here in Boston requesting we vote for it as the best ad of the Super Bowl, with the promise that "Every time you vote, a New Yorker misses the subway!" Appealing as that promise is, I haven't voted yet.
ETA: I really hope Hyundai planned the ad back when the Patriots were 8-0 and odds on favorites to win the Super Bowl.

Last edited by muldoonthief; 01-30-2020 at 09:58 AM.
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Old 01-30-2020, 11:12 AM
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Hopefully, a close game; that's what makes it interesting. However, if its Cheifs 42-0, I will still be happy. The commercials are for me to use the bathroom.
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Old 01-30-2020, 01:42 PM
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Prop Bets: These are very interesting to me. Who gets the first TD (Damien Williams)? Who scores more, James Hardin -7.5 or the total points in the first half (Hardin)? Which will be higher, the number of tweets by Trump on the day or the number of points the Niners score (Niners)? You can find almost anything to bet. From a gambling perspective, they're dumb bets, but they're fun.
Here's one: will there be more kickoffs in the game, or total goals scored in the two Beanpot tournament college ice hockey games (Harvard-Northeastern, and BC-BU) on Monday?

Also, you can get 30-1 if you specify the team, or 14.5-1 for both teams, that the final scoring play of the game will be a safety. IIRC, this happened the last time the 49ers were in the Super Bowl; the Ravens ran out the clock and ran the ball out of their own end zone on the last play of the game.
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Old 01-30-2020, 01:46 PM
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As a gay male, I dread the arrival of the same tired social media posts from everyone who thinks they’re clever.

‘I heard there was a sports ball game today!’
‘Did they hit a home run?’
‘Why are they playing football before the Shakira concert?’
And, of course, those Sound of Music memes with, ‘This is me, not caring about the Super Bowl’

And of course, from my straight and/or older friends the usual bitching about the halftime show and how it should be Guns and Roses or some ‘real music’

Could care less about the ads except to find it amusing that people who brag about never seeing ads because they’re too cool to watch broadcast TV now care about Super Bowl ads.

My mom will be sure to tell me how she’s watching the puppy bowl and doesn’t care about the super bowl and how slow the restaurants are that don’t have TVs.

For me, I’m glad we’re not seeing the Patriots and we’re seeing two teams that aren’t exactly super bowl perennials, although the Niners made it a few years ago during the Blackout Bowl. Somehow I bet the name of Colin Kaepernick isn’t mentioned during the broadcast.

I’ll be at my usual bar which will be crowded for the first time since NYE. It’s amazing how brutal January is for bars in Chicago with the lousy weather, Dry January, and people cutting back on spending. Of course, the Bears didn’t make the playoffs and the Blackhawks aren’t lighting the NHL on fire.
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Old 01-30-2020, 02:00 PM
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As long as this one is more entertaining than last year’s “Which QB will suck more?” contest.

I’ll probably pop in on it now and then out of curiosity unless something grabs me. Like the Philly/Pats game a couple years back I couldn’t care less about until Foles inexplicably turned into Popeye eating spinach and trounced New England. Suddenly it was fun watching something nobody could expect. Philly Special!
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Old 01-30-2020, 02:45 PM
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For the first time in fifty years, my team, the Chiefs, are in the Super Bowl.

Yeah, I'll be watching it for the football.
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Old 01-30-2020, 02:46 PM
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Since the cat-herders all other Super Bowl commercials have been a waste of time to me.

I expect either a pretty epic game or a blow-out. If both teams bring it, it could come down to the Zebras, replay, and one bad mistake by someone in the closing minutes.
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Old 01-30-2020, 03:09 PM
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Previewing a Super Bowl ad is perhaps one of the dumbest, most counterproductive ideas I've ever heard. It's exactly what I'd expect from PR/Advertising. Earned media....sure, whatever, idiots.

I'll be watching from my parents house....not ideal, but my living room will still be under construction. I'm only 6 weeks behind schedule!
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Old 01-31-2020, 05:41 AM
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I don't like watching commercials . If I want to watch the SB ads I am sure they will all be online after the game, probably on youtube
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Old 01-31-2020, 06:18 AM
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This is the first time in a long time that I donít hate or like at least one of the teams. Itís also the first time in a long time that I will have to go to work and then be at work for half of the game. So basically Iím rooting for my pool numbers.
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Old 01-31-2020, 07:24 AM
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The only two rooting interests I have going into the game are 1) I like defense, so I wouldn't mind seeing the 49ers shut down the high flying Chiefs, and 2) I'd like the Chiefs' fanbase to celebrate their first Superbowl win in 50 years. Neither interest is very strong, though, so I'll end up rooting for whichever team wins me over with their play during the game.
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Old 01-31-2020, 09:10 AM
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Puppy Bowl: Stupid, but cute and fun for a couple minutes.
Puppy Bowl is brilliant. It's probably the most attention and viewers that Animal Planet gets all year, it must be cheap to produce, and it promotes rescuing animals that need homes. It is perfect counter-programming to the Super Bowl.

Except for the kittens in their halftime show. With all the glitter and streamers, it's clear that the kittens are over-stimulated, rather than playful.
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Old 01-31-2020, 09:49 AM
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I know that Mahomes is brilliant and KC's offense present all kinds of challenges for any defense, but based on the games I've seen, the eye test tells me the 49ers are better. The way they can run the ball at will is something that will remind 80-year-old Chiefs fans of the Packers in Super Bowl I.

But I admit, I haven't been following the NFL much this year and I could be way off on this one. I hope it's a good game.
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Old 01-31-2020, 10:05 AM
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I agree that the only way to beat the Chiefs is to keep Mahomes off the field with a good, sustained running game, but I don't think they can run against K.C. the way they did against the Packers.
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Old 02-01-2020, 11:23 AM
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If you want to know the extent of this stupid virus panic, there’s rooms available in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl. According to my friend, who’s there all the time, the Strip was dead last night.
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Old 02-01-2020, 12:56 PM
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If you want to know the extent of this stupid virus panic, thereís rooms available in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl. According to my friend, whoís there all the time, the Strip was dead last night.
Those fears are completely warranted. This new plague is almost as dangerous as influenza.
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Old 02-01-2020, 01:52 PM
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Those fears are completely warranted. This new plague is almost as dangerous as influenza.
I cannot agree. The flu kills 12-60,0000 Americans every year, and sickens 5-20 million people. A year.
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Old 02-01-2020, 05:19 PM
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I cannot agree. The flu kills 12-60,0000 Americans every year, and sickens 5-20 million people. A year.
It's the sheer prevalence of flu that makes it dangerous, but coronaviruses often have a higher fatality rate. This particular virus is also troubling because it's stealthier than flu - there are carriers who don't come down with symptoms. Moreover, the virus itself can inflict damage to the lungs and cause sudden acute respiratory failure.

When you get flu, it's the body's immune response that typically attacks your respiratory system, which is dangerous but the symptoms can often be detected early enough to intervene and give them emergency treatment. Flu typically kills in two ways: the immune response is so severe that it literally 'drowns' victims, or more commonly, bacteria builds up and increases the odds of bacterial illness that can become a full-on septic event.
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Old 02-01-2020, 09:21 PM
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Ads: I just don't get it.
For several years, I did not get them. At all. There was always a package wild feed that I could point the dish at where the ads were completely absent. One year, the feed I found had the play calling in Spanish, and then, when the feed broadcast was off the air locally, the announcers started bantering with each other in English.
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Old 02-02-2020, 02:24 AM
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Ads: I remember a time when these were truly groundbreaking, epic, astounding, inspiring, or just really glitzy, and I actually looked forward to watching them. Maybe not MORE than the game, but they were truly noteworthy. For a long time, though, it seems like they're just trying too hard. I remember many years back when Lisa Simpson put it plainly, "These Super Bowl commercials are weird," and this hasn't really changed since. Maybe I'll catch a couple on YouTube if there's some big buzz about them for whatever reason, but I'm not watching for them and I'm definitely don't expect to be talking about them.

Halftime: Eh. It is what it is. A singer sings and the entire NFL brass quietly prays that it doesn't go off the rails. I'm not a huge fan of Jennifer Lopez or Shakira, but they have good voices and should put on a good show, which is all I'm expecting. Plus I remember how cishet male America had an absolute meltdown over J.Lo's butt for whatever freakish reason, so having her on a big national stage is long-overdue justice.

Rooting interests: Honestly, this one's a wash. The 49ers have an amazingly rich history, but that was a long time ago, and they've gone through some [i]very[/i hard times. All the harping on Joe Montana as The Greatest Of All Time got a little annoying, but not to the level of aggravation, and it's now more or less squashed dead by Tom Brady. Does anyone even remember how he did in Kansas City? (By my recollection it was pretty awful, although I might be a little biased here.) One could argue that if they didn't have the #1 seed, or if Green Bay did this, or if Philadelphia did that, or if, or if if if if. But that's just it; champions win the ones that matter. All season long the 49ers have been getting on the board, making adjustments, not choking away leads, and staying focused against their toughest opponents, and that winning attitude is the main reason they're here now. The Chiefs remind me of the '04 Red Sox, the franchise that always had plenty of talent and drive and really should not have gone this freaking long without a championship. Much like that fateful Boston squad, they've finally learned to stop tripping over their own feet, get their heads in game, and play like the elite franchise they're supposed to be. The Houston game, where they were down 24-0 in the 2nd quarter and it looked for all the word that they were going to be Team Rocket-ed out of the playoffs like every other goddam time, and not only turned it around but won by 20, was their statement. Much like the steal in game 4 of the ALCS that sparked the Red Sox's monumental comeback, it showed once and for all that they were through being no-hope underachieving sad sacks, that they were a championship-caliber team that could beat anyone. Two great teams full of great players. There's just no way I can pick one over the other...

...except for this.

"Ehhhhh-ohhhh awwwuhhwhhh, uwhwhwhwoohh, uhhhh whwuuahauh! Ehhhhh-ohhhh awwwuhhwhhh, uwhwhwhwoohh, uhhhh whwuuahauh! Ehhhhh-ohhhh awwwuhhwhhh, uwhwhwhwoohh, uhhhh whwuuahauh!"

The Tomahawk Chop. Goddamn, the Tomahawk Chop. This is the one thing currently in football that pulls off the five-fer of offensive, irritating, moronic, mindlessly random, and freaking endless. To think that we raised such a stink over the Wave. Even if you can overlook what an insult it is to our First Nation peoples (and don't give me that crap about "They're completely fine with it!"...I'd like to hear it from them, if you don't mind), or how utterly stupid it looks, or that insultingly inane pseduo-Amerind chanting, or how it goes on and on and on and on and on...why the hell does it always pop up completely at random?? I mean, I mourned along with the rest of the country the Eagles got a fight song for Reimu knows why, and THAT had to be the year all ten dice came up sixes and they won the damn Super Bowl, which of course made that stupid fight song a more or less permanent fixture. But at least they always play it at the same time, i.e. when the Eagles score a touchdown. Simple. Predictable. Sensible. The Tomahawk Chop always festers up completely at random, triggered by everything and anything, sometimes by nothing.

Rooting for the 49ers by some modest amount. The closing line should suffice.

Should be fun! See you afterward!
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Old 02-02-2020, 09:03 AM
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All the harping on Joe Montana as The Greatest Of All Time got a little annoying, but not to the level of aggravation, and it's now more or less squashed dead by Tom Brady. Does anyone even remember how he did in Kansas City? (By my recollection it was pretty awful, although I might be a little biased here.)
He certainly wasn't awful at all. But he also wasn't Joe Montana. He didn't play a full season and left the AFC title game with an injury in 1993, so injuries hurt him. But he still performed as a top 10 QB. Just not the best QB in the league like he was for years.
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Old 02-02-2020, 09:16 AM
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I agree with DKW, the Super Bowl as an entertainment spectacle has jumped the shark -- the commercials are trying too hard.

The games themselves have been really good, though.
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Old 02-02-2020, 12:06 PM
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I agree with DKW, the Super Bowl as an entertainment spectacle has jumped the shark -- the commercials are trying too hard.

The games themselves have been really good, though.
Well, not last year. Denver-Carolina four years ago was dull, too. Two years prior, Seattle-Denver was a ridiculopus blowout.

That said, prior to that there was a long string of mostly good games. Things in recent history have certainly been better than the dark days of the 1980s and early 1990s, when the Super Bowl was so often a trainwreck of a game that it kind of became the default assumption. It wasn't ALWAYS terrible - the second Niners-Bengals game was a close one - but it was usually bad and often awful.
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Old 02-02-2020, 09:54 AM
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He certainly wasn't awful at all. But he also wasn't Joe Montana. He didn't play a full season and left the AFC title game with an injury in 1993, so injuries hurt him. But he still performed as a top 10 QB. Just not the best QB in the league like he was for years.
Exactly right. Montana started 11 games in 1993 and 14 games in 1994. KC made the playoffs both years, losing in the title game in 93 and one-and-done in 94. Definitely not awful.
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Old 02-02-2020, 03:07 PM
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Exactly right. Montana started 11 games in 1993 and 14 games in 1994. KC made the playoffs both years, losing in the title game in 93 and one-and-done in 94. Definitely not awful.
Joe Montana led the Chiefs to a victory over the heavily-favored Houston Oilers, a team that had won something like 8 or 9 games in a row and was looking like it was a lock for the Super Bowl.
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Old 02-02-2020, 03:28 AM
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Comparing Fly Eagles Fly to the Atlanta Braves/Chiefs Tomahawk chant is like comparing Stairway to Who Let the Dogs out. The song is sung for touchdowns, the chant is moaned when fans are bored. (And if you're interested, at Citizens Bank, PA, there's an alternate version to the chant-- Fuuuuuu-uuuuck yooooooooou, fuuuuuu-uuuuh-uuuuck yoooooou. I think you'd enjoy that as much as I do.)

Here's an example of why sports should just not be happening in Straight Dope.

Last edited by Locrian; 02-02-2020 at 03:33 AM.
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Old 02-02-2020, 08:01 AM
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I'm also not looking forward to folks bragging that they are not watching. That being said, I probably won't watch. I only watch Packers games (possibly a Badgers game), and will stop if they are significantly losing.
And even then I'm surfing the net during commercials or slow periods.
The good ads (and there are some I like) will be online. Probably won't watch the halftime show
I have plenty of Netflix to watch

Brian
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Old 02-02-2020, 05:55 PM
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Niners looking much more dangerous tonight. Chiefs unstable, not holding it together psychologically. They were lucky to only allow 3 points there.
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Old 02-02-2020, 05:58 PM
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Niners looking much more dangerous tonight. Chiefs unstable, not holding it together psychologically. They were lucky to only allow 3 points there.
Pfff, it's the first possession. Teams are feeling each other out.
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Old 02-02-2020, 05:59 PM
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One thing to watch early is Sherman. It kinda seems like he knows what Mahomes is gonna throw. He got away with a toss in his direction, but if he keeps testing the veteran, he might get pick sixed.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:03 PM
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For all the talk about growing the game in Europe and a team in London, it is now midnight there and people have to work within a few hours.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:12 PM
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This century, the team in white ("visitors") has had a 3:1 win ratio (in L, the Steelers, though the "home" team, chose to wear white because it seemed lucky for them).
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:14 PM
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Great game so far. Loving it.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:24 PM
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Oh, Jimmy. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy

The hamsters kinda ruining the experience.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:31 PM
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Great defensive stop by the Niners.

Andy Reid going for it on 4th down twice. Awesome.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:40 PM
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KC doing a horrible job tackling. That could be a problem.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:28 PM
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I'm loving the evolution of Andy Reid as a coach. For so long, far too conservative, but leaving nothing on the field now. Love it.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:37 PM
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Great game so far. Loving it.
Yeah, it's been good.

As far as the teams themselves go, I really don't care too much who wins. I can't cheer for any fanbase that has a tomahawk chop or that idiotic "Indian" music chorus that the Chiefs fans do, so far that reason I guess I'd prefer the Silicon Valley 49ers to win. Then again, if you cheer against every football fanbase that's full of assholes, you'd never support anyone, so I dunno.

There have been some smart and funny Superbowl ads over the years, but most of them are quite a ways in the past. These days, they seem to focus more on getting famous faces into the ads than on actually producing something smart and funny. Most of them suck pretty much has badly as regular ads. And I mute them, just like I mute regular ads.

Of course, the mediocrity of the ads and the show in general shouldn't be any surprise. The Superbowl audience is the very definition of America's generic audience, the true "everyman" TV show. The people who make up the vast majority of the audience are the same people who ensure that NCIS and Young Sheldon are among the top TV shows in the nation. The ad people know who their viewers are.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:14 PM
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Why does Mahomes keep holding the ball outstretched in one hand like that when running? Isn't that a recipe for fumbling? Why not tuck it away like a running back?
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:26 PM
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Why does Mahomes keep holding the ball outstretched in one hand like that when running? Isn't that a recipe for fumbling? Why not tuck it away like a running back?
Maybe because he's unstable, not holding it together psychologically.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:30 PM
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Maybe because he's unstable, not holding it together psychologically.
Pfff, Mahomes is fine. He seems to be seeing the field very well. The Niners will make adjustments, which he'll have to adjust to, but Mahomes is running the offense just fine. It's Jimmy G who seems a little rattled right now.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:31 PM
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Pressure's all on Garropolo now. He is less capable of leading a comeback than Mahomes, who has done such things multiple times.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Velocity View Post
Pressure's all on Garropolo now. He is less capable of leading a comeback than Mahomes, who has done such things multiple times.
The Chiefs are sniffing out the run. It's like they've read the body language of all the Niners when they run. And yes, that does put the pressure on Jimmy G, but it also puts the emphasis on Kyle Shannahan because he needs to call plays that will open some things up for the offense. This is exactly the position the 2012/13 Niners were in against the Ravens. They finally opened things up and almost made the comeback for the ages. Kyle's gonna have to start calling things they haven't seen on tape.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:39 PM
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Does anyone remember the 1981 Niners - the OG Niners? Remember how there were no real individual stat studs on that team other than Montana. I think Ricky Patton was their leading rusher with 543 yards. Russ Francis was their TE. Fred Dean was their jack of all trades. This Niners team reminds me a lot of those guys, workman-like.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:36 PM
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Niners saying, "Never mind Jimmy, just hand off and hand off some more"
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:38 PM
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Are these Niners running backs abnormally strong or can the Chiefs just not take them down at first hit?
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:41 PM
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I don't watch football but I generally watch the Super Bowl. This has been an enjoyable match so far.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeepKillBeep View Post
I don't watch football but I generally watch the Super Bowl. This has been an enjoyable match so far.
I think this is like a lot of the other recent SB's. This will come down to second half coaching. Historically, Reid's been weak in this department, but he's really improved (IMHO) over the last 2-3 seasons. He doesn't just try to control the clock anymore; he tries to score - he gets it now.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:56 PM
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I certainly thought that the Niners would call timeout before the Chiefs punt.
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