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  #101  
Old 08-14-2019, 08:34 PM
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Whoopi Goldberg plays herself in a fictionalized account of her life, with Jaden Smith in drag as a young Whoopi. Incidents portrayed include Whoopi's stint as a kindergarten teacher, her time in Viet Nam, and her affair with Bobcat Goldthwaite, all of which never actually happened. It's revealed at the end that she's currently a DJ in a gay night club.

Next up: What You See, You Don't Get
  #102  
Old 08-19-2019, 11:09 AM
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What You See, You Don't Get

Sweet, innocent, and blind young violinist Vera Ingenuesmithford receives a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for an optic transplant. She regains her sight and is ecstatic when can now read her music sheets but in the middle of a concert, the entire music stand seems to completely disappear right in front of her new eyes. Objects continue to disappear from in front of her and as she reaches for them, she finds that they're not even there. She tries to investigate the cause of this but finds herself delving into a deeper, more sinister plot. Who can she trust? Her domineering mother, the creepy eye surgeon, the lothario-esque symphony conductor, or her jealous boyfriend? Is regaining her eyesight really everything she always wanted or is there something more that's just out of reach?

Next: The quarterback and the Serpent
  #103  
Old 08-25-2019, 01:09 AM
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17-year-old Jesse has everything going for him: he's the quarterback for the winningest team his state has ever seen, he's been accepted to Ohio State, and he's just been voted prom king. But something has always seemed like it was missing in his life, and the new exchange student who crash lands into his life nine weeks before graduation might be it. Danae is everything Jesse has ever dreamed of, and more. But the "more" turns out to be that his Greek goddess is actually descended from a long line of lamias. Can Jesse cope with a dream girl with a few scales?

Next: 100 Proof Smile
  #104  
Old 08-25-2019, 07:35 AM
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100 Proof Smile is the semi-tragic "based on actual events" story of Edith Thomas, a woman who is absolutely miserable when she is sober, but comes alive when she is drunk. Alan Judd falls in love with her when he sees her in a bar, but when he sees how she is sober, he starts on a plan to get her sober persona to be more like her drunk persona. This does not have the desired results he expected. Starring Drew Barrymore and Will Farrell.

Next: Oscar Madison Was an Amateur
  #105  
Old 08-25-2019, 07:36 AM
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F'ing double posted

Last edited by atimnie; 08-25-2019 at 07:37 AM.
  #106  
Old 08-26-2019, 03:50 PM
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In this historical coming of age story, Dolly Madison's son Oscar wanted nothing more than to be a famous baker. Every day, he would bake pies and snack cakes for his mother and father James and each day James would disgustingly say "Oscar Madison is an amateur." Oscar's only solace was the time he got to spend with the cute girl next door Lucy Van Buren but even then he was still saddened that he would never become a professional baker. At Lucy's urging, Oscar tries his hand at making pies again, this time making smaller, hand-sized pies using filling like cherry, apple, lemon, chocolate, coconut cream, and banana cream. Oscar gets his parents to try the new pies and Dolly is impressed with their tastiness but she turns to her husband and says "Don't tell me, Oscar Madison is an amateur."

"Oscar Madison was an amateur," James Madison replied with a happy smile.

Next: Cowboys vs. Cyborgs vs. Ninjas vs. Pirates vs. Dinosaurs vs. Aliens vs. Mutants
  #107  
Old 08-27-2019, 11:02 PM
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In a film critics are calling "a desperate bid to compete with the Marvel Universe" DC presents a massive film about a whole lot of enemies. See the stars of seven new and acquired and relaunched comic books as Billy the Kid fights Steve Austin and Fujibayashi Nagato and Anne Bonny and that T-Rex from the Dresden Files and Michael Guerin and The Great Mutato in an epic battle that's sure to stun the whole family.

Next: It's About Tyme
  #108  
Old 08-27-2019, 11:56 PM
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Michael Tyme, time traveler and occasional actor, sets out on a quest to gain a role in "Our American Cousin" so he can save the life of Abraham Lincoln. He faces competition from actors more talented than him, and he has to figure out a way to warn the president without getting shot himself. A lost classic film from the pre-code days of Hollywood.

Next: Falling Apart
  #109  
Old 08-29-2019, 10:34 PM
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Android, Craeen Otlahd, becomes devastated when its favorite technician dies by electrocution while working on it and begins to dysfunction. Craeen takes an airplane ride for the purpose of suicide, realizes it could survive permanently impaired, and attempts to disassemble itself before landing. Back at the plant, technicians try to sabotage Craeen's efforts.

Next: It’s Tough Getting Old
  #110  
Old 08-30-2019, 08:29 AM
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The story stars with Jim Parsons playing a very old man who, after being hit by comet and lightning at the same time, starts aging backwards. He faces a lot of troubles as he goes back into middle age, adolescence, and finally a young boy, played by Iain Armitage.

Next up: Hunting for the Key
  #111  
Old 08-30-2019, 08:34 AM
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"The Key," the head of an secretive social group composed of locksmiths, safe crackers and escape artists, has been accused of a murder that only a locksmith could have committed. He hires the renowned but quirky defense attorney, Reginald Hunting. In this twisty courtroom drama, it's Smith for the prosecution, and Hunting for the Key.

Next up: "Out of Practice"
  #112  
Old 08-30-2019, 08:43 AM
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Aging former rock star Rocky Ball Boa is asked to star in a movie about Jim Morrison. He initially refuses, claiming he has done nothing but various drugs for the past decade and is Out of Practice. He eventually decides to get clean, makes the movie, becoming a star in a second career. The title role is played by Sylvester Stallone.

Next Up: Trump This!
  #113  
Old 09-01-2019, 10:40 PM
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A sequel to A Big Hand for the Little Lady, Trump This centers around a card game among the family in which the kids conned the unsuspecting adults and won with a stacked deck. The kids use the money to buy land in NYC.

Next up: The Mirror in the Mirror
  #114  
Old 09-03-2019, 10:22 AM
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Martin Martin is a devout Christian minister, husband, and father, a pillar of his community. But he has a mirror showing a mirror that shows him committing truly atrocious acts. He continually smashes the mirror, only to see it reassembled the next day.

The deed shown are really bad, even by movie standards, but the ending is very lame: Martin kills himself, and learns in hell that the mirror never existed, and the acts were not all in his mind.

Next Up: Go Figure
  #115  
Old 09-03-2019, 10:39 AM
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Gene Yusaffa is a mathematical genius, able to solve supposedly unsolvable equations with ease. When his college English professor is kidnapped, he is presented with a number of diabolical mathematical puzzles and riddles which he must solve to save the professor's life. From the people behind "Die Hard 3: Die Hard with a Vengeance".

Next: Two Aspirin, One Vodka
  #116  
Old 09-10-2019, 10:47 AM
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Joe and Jane Aspirin are in a rut. Between work, kids, family, and other distractions they just feel that they haven't connected with each other in years. They finally get a night out on the town where they happen to meet Johnny Vodka in a bar. Vodka takes the Two Aspirins out on a wild night on the town that involves a wild car chase, angry clowns, foreign spies, and the recovery of a WWI-era experimental energy weapon. In the end the two Aspirins learn to appreciate each other more and plan on having another night out next week. They both have killer headaches though and they know the only cure for that is Two Aspirin, One Vodka.


Next: Johnny Magnetron Meets the Hillbilly Dirt Superstar All Jug Band.
  #117  
Old 09-10-2019, 12:05 PM
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Caped Crusader Johnny Magnetron has super powers due to a rare genetic disorder that is enhanced when he is in an accident at the nuclear power plant. He goes about doing super hero things, but feels something is missing in his life.

When the Hillbilly Dirt Superstar All Jug Band's tour bus goes into a ditch and Johnny recuses them, he discovers the "all jug" part of their name has nothing to do with musical instruments. After a wild afternoon ride on their bus, Johnny joins the group as a roadie and has some amazing adventures.

Next up: The Band is A-Knocking

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 09-10-2019 at 12:06 PM.
  #118  
Old 09-11-2019, 11:02 PM
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In a metaphor for the Chinese Boxer Rebellion, actor Sun Poon (played by Billy Crystal), becomes annoyed that his belt saw band is misaligned and will not stop knocking against the rollers. It's not a great movie, but there it is. Apologies to all esp. A-X.

Next up: Sudden Intent
  #119  
Old 09-12-2019, 11:34 AM
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Antonio Banderas plays a NY cop who gets caught up in a plot to rob diamonds from an LA skyscraper while it undergoes construction on the top floor. Pierce Brosnan is the suave European criminal, or is he? Zach Braff is the one guy who will listen to Antonio but does he know more than he's letting on? It's kind of like Die Hard but different.


Next: Tomboy Joy, the Goy Cowboy, and the Decoy Convoy
  #120  
Old 09-12-2019, 11:52 AM
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Tomboy Joy leaves Salt Lake City, feeling out of place in the Mormon culture. She meets Cowboy Goy, who left Texas for the same reason. They hatch a plot to rob a Convoy of bank truck, intending to live off the movie they steal. However, they both contact the bank at different times and tell them the plot, leading to a Decoy Convoy.

When the truth comes out, both Tomboy and Cowboy have a good laugh. The laughs come deeper when *****SPOILER ALERT*****Tomboy Joy is revealed to be an actual boy and Cowboy Goy is revealed to be a Jewish girl .

Of course, the picture ends with Tomboy (played by Jim Parsons) and Cowboy (played by Sara Gilbert) getting married.

Next Up: Buzzards over Broadway

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 09-12-2019 at 11:53 AM.
  #121  
Old 09-12-2019, 03:22 PM
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The year is 2101. New York City has been decimated by disease and crime, bringing a city of millions down to just a few thousand. While the diseases that killed millions have been eradicated, crime is still a problem, and the only safe places are the abandoned theaters. Basically, just another apocalyptic movie that wastes the theater settings.

Next: The Cola Wars
  #122  
Old 09-12-2019, 09:18 PM
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The Cola Wars

Buster Teaspoon (Hasan Minhaj) leads the union fight in his local Pensacola carbonated beverage cannery to have the non-discretionary portion of income included in the periodic increase in wages, to compensate for the loss in purchasing power of money due to inflation. Impressed by Buster's bravery, the cannery bosses two twin daughters, Dora Flood (Kristen Bell) and Mora Flood (Kerry Washington) fall in love with him. In a blind taste test Buster has to decide which one he will marry.

Next up: I Know What You Did Last Summer: Hit and Run. Straight Up, You Killed a Guy With Your Car.
  #123  
Old 09-13-2019, 09:12 AM
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I Know What You Did Last Summer: Hit and Run. Straight Up, You Killed a Guy With Your Car.

14 year old girl invites the 30 year old man who has been having sex with her for four years into the car parked in the garage, gives him a drink laced with tranquilizers, turns on the engines, lockes the car doors and windows and the garage door and walks away, hoping the death will be considered a suicide.

When the police come to her house, having found her name, addres and photos on the jerk's computer, she gets put through the wringer, accused of seducing the man and enjoying it. She stands trial, with lots of protestors on both sides, and get found "not guilty." The religious leader (straight, white, rich Christian man) who called for the death penalty calls it "the worse verdict since OJ Simpson," shoots her dead on the court steps, and cannot understand why he gets arrested.

NEXT UP: I Know What You Did on The Court Steps, With Lots of Witnesses and Cameras Rolling (the sequel, of course)
  #124  
Old 09-14-2019, 06:01 AM
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Oh you took it on, you hit a homer, and you threw down. I like it. :P

I Know What You Did on The Court Steps, With Lots of Witnesses and Cameras Rolling (the sequel, of course)

Religious leader Cave Thunder (Sam Rockwell) is easily convicted of murder (see the film title and prior film) and jailed for 15 years after shooting Joyce Vinegar (Lili Sepe) on the courthouse steps after her acquittal. Knowing that the system is corrupt but attempting to make the best of the situation, Cave tries to ingratiate himself with the prison Aryan Brotherhood but is rebuffed as being too white-collar. In order to prove his street skills, Cave shanks one of the black prison guards, Dex Tractor (Jorden Peele), in the back. Dex survives the shanking and is put into an administrative role at the prison, and Cave is sent to the hole for 3 months. After he is released from the hole, Cave is accepted into the Brotherhood, but one of the Brotherhood members confronts Cave showing on his mobile phone that Cave's Facebook page is all about bleeding heart leftist PC bullshit, and he will show the others if he doesn't explain himself. Cave denies he ever made those facebook posts and promises to find out what is up. Cave gives up his butt to get access to news footage at the prison library. Reviewing the film footage from the incident on the courthouse steps, in a freeze-frame, he can see Joyce's mother pulling his wallet out of his pants a second or two after he shot Joyce. That wallet had all his social media passwords in it. Cave writes his long suffering family and friends to please get a copy of the film and publicize that his social media was hacked. But the person now in charge of incoming and outgoing mail at the prison is Dex, who burns all of Cave's outgoing or incoming mail.


Next up: Oscar Bait
  #125  
Old 09-14-2019, 10:42 AM
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Basically a remake of Mel Brooks' original The Producers. Jack (Jack Black) tries to make the worst movie ever as a tax dodge. He hires the wrong leading man (Bob Newhart), the wrong leading lady (Rosie O'Donnell), the wrong director (Woody Harrelson), and the wrong writer (Will Farrell, basically playing the same character as in the musical version of The Producers, and somehow manages to get 12 Oscar nominations. If you've seen either version of The Producers, you can skip this.

Next: What Did I Just Watch?
  #126  
Old 09-14-2019, 11:44 AM
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What Did I Just Watch?

Al Brody (played by Ed O'Neill) falls asleep in front of the TV and wakes up to see his wife Meg (Katey Sagal) being dragged away by a strange masked man with a gun. When he wakes up again, it's daylight and he wonders if he dreamed it all. BUT Meg is nowhere to be found. He goes out looking for her, with the aid of his son Hudson (David Faustino) and daughter Lucky (Christiana Applegate).

It turns out the whole thing was a publicity stunt, planned and filmed by producer River Soades for his new production of the musical "The Pirates of Penzance.

Next up: Love and Marriage....With Children
  #127  
Old 09-14-2019, 12:32 PM
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Love and Marriage....With Children

Inspired by Bugsy Malone (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bugsy_Malone), we have a classic romantic comedy about a couple who meet cute, get separated by misunderstanding, but are reconciled by the end the third act - but the gimmick is that all the characters are played by 10-year-old children.

Next one up: It's All about the Ichabods

Last edited by Andy L; 09-14-2019 at 12:33 PM.
  #128  
Old 09-14-2019, 01:29 PM
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A hip hop version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, with a weird sci-fi twist. Jaden Smith stars as Ichabod Crane, with script by Will Smith, who also co-directs. In this version, Ichabod lives in the present, but keeps jumping back in time, and meeting himself with every time jump. By the end of the movie, there's a dozen Ichabods, and you're wishing the headless horseman would just end them all. Unfortunately, he doesn't, so there's a sequel.

Next: Don't Even Say It
  #129  
Old 09-16-2019, 08:43 AM
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Don't Even Say It

A witch casts an evil spell on a baby, saying that if he even says this word extremely bad things will happen. However, she does not tell his parents what the word is and what will happen.

This parents raise the boy in total silence, never teaching him to talk. One day, the husband wins a two billion dollar lottery and, not thinking, screams in front of his son "THIS TRUMPS EVERYTHING." The 10 year old son says "Trump" and you can figure out the rest.

Next up: Of Witches and Bitches
  #130  
Old 09-16-2019, 03:30 PM
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The Back Alley Bitches are a notorious all-female gang who have had a longstanding beef with the West Valley Witches. Their quarrel escalates when Back Alley Becky and West Valley Wendy both set their sights on Cute Tommy, the motorcycle mechanic down at Al's Motorcycle Shop. It further intensifies when Becky's younger sister Brooklyn Bella tries to join the West Valley Witches. Back Alley leader Prairie Dog Peg wants to rumble and calls out West Valley matriarch Plateau Pauline and Pauline is down for it. The two rival gangs meet behind the bowling alley and are ready to start fighting when Cute Tommy interrupts with his cute motorcycle buddies including Dapper Dan, Spilly Joe, and Pukeboy Pete. The girls decide that they've been feuding long enough and vow to work together from now on and they all head into the bowling alley for pizza and sodas.


Next: Those Stars and Garters
  #131  
Old 09-16-2019, 05:55 PM
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Lucky Lucy Anno is a fashion designer tasked with creating lingerie for the 4th of July. That's basically it, no romantic subplot, no character development, just a step by step pseudo-doc on making patriotic nighties and under garments.

Next: Two Donuts and a Sweet Tea
  #132  
Old 09-17-2019, 08:25 AM
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Two Donuts and a Sweet Tea

Teresa "Sweet Tea" Doright forms a vigilante gang with Donnie and Elliot, two mentally impaired men to kill the gang members who raped and stabbed her, leaving her for dead. She wears outrageous disguises to conceal her identity, and lets the men have their way with the gang bangers before she stabs them to death. When all the bangers have been killed, the brothers turn on Sweet Tea, in a really gruesome ending.

Next up: Gruesome Is As Gruesome Does
  #133  
Old Yesterday, 01:03 PM
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Irving "Gruesome" Isnowski is a fighter in the underground pit arena down by the docks. He longs to get away from the fights but he's stuck until he can pay off his debts to the boss. Enter Rolfo "Gruesome" Doestoevsky, the innocent new tough guy in town forced to fight for his own survival. In the middle of a fight, the two make a break for it taking the boss's briefcase along the way. It's a modern day Defiant Ones as the two run and fight their way to freedom, eventually find the secret plans in the briefcase, and return to the arena to put an end to the fights once and for all.


Next: The End of Times II, The Return of the End
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