#201  
Old 02-25-2010, 08:43 PM
Shark Sandwich is offline
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Rolls Royce aftershave?
But I prefer Sex Panther.
It stings the nostrils.
  #202  
Old 02-25-2010, 08:56 PM
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It stings the nostrils
ginger beer is not that great
drink Vernor's instead

Last edited by LateComer; 02-25-2010 at 08:56 PM.
  #203  
Old 02-25-2010, 11:22 PM
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"Drink Vernor's instead,"
the celebrity told me.
"Fuck that shit!" I said.
  #204  
Old 02-26-2010, 04:40 AM
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"Fuck that shit!" I said
I was angry at my stool
Constipation sucks
  #205  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:00 AM
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Constipation sucks
A bottleneck of butt pain
Better eat your prunes
  #206  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:17 AM
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Better eat your prunes
Eating healthy is a drag
I'd rather have cake
  #207  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:33 AM
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I'd rather have cake
But I'm allergic to wheat
Cake or death?
  #208  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:42 AM
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Cake or death?
But death takes a holiday.
And so cake it is.
  #209  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:46 AM
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So cake it is
with a flourish I revealed
blueberry cheesecake



(mmmmm )
  #210  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melodyharmonius View Post
Cake or death?
Haiku Police Note: Three syllables??
  #211  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otternell View Post
So cake it is
Haiku Police note: Four syllables.
  #212  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:55 AM
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blueberry cheesecake
is much more desired than
a kick in the ass
  #213  
Old 02-26-2010, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mean Mr. Mustard View Post
Haiku Police Note: Three syllables??
Hey - I'm pre-coffee, give me a break. In my head, it was 5 syllables.

C-cake or D-death.

(cerebral stuttering for epic fail)

Last edited by melodyharmonius; 02-26-2010 at 08:57 AM.
  #214  
Old 02-26-2010, 09:00 AM
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A kick in the ass
Neglecting 5 7 5
Get with the program!

(heh - I didn't even notice!)
  #215  
Old 02-26-2010, 09:12 AM
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Get with the program!
If you think you can play, great!
Make sure you're awake!
  #216  
Old 02-26-2010, 09:35 AM
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Make sure you're awake!
Your sloth is unbecoming
except for vampires
  #217  
Old 02-26-2010, 09:45 AM
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Except for vampires
There are few that scare me more
Than real fast zombies
  #218  
Old 02-26-2010, 09:53 AM
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Than real fast zombies
What could amuse you better
flesh eating virus
  #219  
Old 02-26-2010, 10:03 AM
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flesh eating virus
Umbrella Corporation's
New weight loss product!
  #220  
Old 02-26-2010, 10:13 AM
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New weight loss product
OBEY: taking the two pills
I'd rather eat pie


(I think I need to get something for breakfast)
  #221  
Old 02-26-2010, 10:14 AM
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I'd rather eat pie
The blueberries stain my mouth
I'm doing this wrong

Last edited by Shark; 02-26-2010 at 10:15 AM.
  #222  
Old 02-26-2010, 10:24 AM
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I'm doing this wrong
I turned down sushi for lunch
what was I thinking?
  #223  
Old 02-26-2010, 10:54 AM
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What was I thinking?
Could there be any better
way to waste time? No!
  #224  
Old 02-26-2010, 10:55 AM
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Way to waste time. No.
Most precious commodity
fleeting and fragile

Last edited by phungi; 02-26-2010 at 10:57 AM. Reason: Time?
  #225  
Old 02-26-2010, 11:00 AM
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Fleeting and fragile
the wings of a butterfly
I beg for springtime
  #226  
Old 02-26-2010, 11:15 AM
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I beg for springtime
Precipitating all week
Depression, anger.
  #227  
Old 02-26-2010, 11:19 AM
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Depression, anger
Hell hath no fury like a
green thumb in winter
  #228  
Old 02-26-2010, 11:21 AM
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Green thumb in winter?
Florida sunshine beckons.
Outta here, I swear.
  #229  
Old 02-26-2010, 11:47 AM
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Outta here, I swear.
At least the engineers are
Move with us or leave.
  #230  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:05 PM
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Move with us or leave
why issue ultimatums?
why be so pushy?
  #231  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:07 PM
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Why be so pushy?
It's not my call. I only
Tell what has happened.
  #232  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:10 PM
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Tell what has happened?
No time to wallow in past,
We must live today.
  #233  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:10 PM
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We must live today
as if it will be our last
who's up for ice cream?

ETA: Elvis beat me to it!

Last edited by otternell; 02-26-2010 at 12:11 PM.
  #234  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:13 PM
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Who's up for ice cream
We all screamed, as with one voice
Who want's sprinkles too?

Last edited by Shark; 02-26-2010 at 12:15 PM.
  #235  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:19 PM
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Who wants sprinkles too?
Lovely and multicolored
a tasty rainbow
  #236  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:38 PM
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A tasty rainbow
And a sugary snowflake
Weather tastes yummy
  #237  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:43 PM
otternell is offline
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weather tastes yummy
but not as good as sushi
I still mourn my choice
  #238  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:50 PM
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I still mourn my choice
As my fingers tug vainly
At my now shorn hair
  #239  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:53 PM
otternell is offline
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At my now shorn hair
irresistibly short cute
men's gazes are drawn
  #240  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:53 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
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Men's gazes are drawn
to supermodels' long legs
and dazzling smiles.

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 02-26-2010 at 12:55 PM.
  #241  
Old 02-26-2010, 12:59 PM
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And dazzling smiles
set hearts aflame in desire
I drown in your eyes
  #242  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:05 PM
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I drown in your eyes
I suffocate in your ears
I dare not say more
  #243  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:09 PM
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I dare not say more
But then I dare not say less
Caught in words and sounds
  #244  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:11 PM
otternell is offline
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caught in words and sounds
I am trapped with no escape
mental prisoner
  #245  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:15 PM
ElvisL1ves is offline
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Mental prisoner
Trapped behind keyboard, online
Forced to write haikus ...
  #246  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:19 PM
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forced to write haikus?
there is no gun to your head
nor flame to your groin
  #247  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:24 PM
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Nor flame to your groin
Although another thread tells
How flames groomed ones pubes

(my apologies to the next guy)
  #248  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:27 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
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"How flames groomed one's pubes"?
Your apologies, well-meant,
are to no avail.
  #249  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:33 PM
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are to no avail
is a lame start to a haiku
could not be much worse
  #250  
Old 02-26-2010, 01:34 PM
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it occurs to me that this:

Quote:
is a lame start to a haiku
could not be much worse
could be used whenever one is stuck.

So, as the inventor and patent-holder of Haiku Madness, I hereby put the kibosh on repeating lame ass attempts such as this. (you can use a lame ass line, you just can't repeat a lame ass line).

Last edited by Mean Mr. Mustard; 02-26-2010 at 01:36 PM.
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