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  #51  
Old 01-07-2018, 04:23 PM
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I hate bananas; once you skin them and throw the bone away, there's nuthin' left!
  #52  
Old 01-07-2018, 06:37 PM
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I'd recommend that you have sex on an elevator but that's wrong on so many levels.
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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
You prudes are just determined to stymie the escalator orgy that I was so looking forward to.
  #53  
Old 01-07-2018, 08:14 PM
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Yes, we need to step things up.
  #54  
Old 01-07-2018, 09:13 PM
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Yes, we have no bananas!
  #55  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:01 AM
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You prudes are just determined to stymie the escalator orgy that I was so looking forward to.
I have to admit, sex on an escalator would have its ups and downs.
  #56  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:59 AM
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That ain't the Earth movin' under your feet.
  #57  
Old 01-08-2018, 01:40 PM
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I never wear my polka-dot underwear over my head on my many many rides on the escalator every day. I don't like the stares.
  #58  
Old 01-08-2018, 04:05 PM
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Can we please get back to the topic at hand, which is. . .what, again?
  #59  
Old 01-08-2018, 04:12 PM
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Beethoven's favorite fruit: Ba-na-na-naaaas
  #60  
Old 01-08-2018, 04:21 PM
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Beethoven's favorite fruit: Ba-na-na-naaaas
Composer's favorite fruits? Perhaps you could make a Liszt?
  #61  
Old 01-08-2018, 05:03 PM
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Mozart was big on cherry tarts, while Bach's lunches are still talked about today.
  #62  
Old 01-08-2018, 06:23 PM
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Frédéric bought fresh fruit every time he went grocery Chopin.
  #63  
Old 01-08-2018, 08:10 PM
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I tried to write an opera about the Messiah, but I wasn't able to Handel it.
  #64  
Old 01-08-2018, 09:13 PM
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This whole thing is beginning to come unRaveled. Try to find something secure to Holst onto.
  #65  
Old 01-08-2018, 09:33 PM
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I used to go down to a nearby tavern where the locals frequently drank a lot and rambled about composers and their favorite produce. But these sots didn't know the subject very well. It was mostly just Bartok.
  #66  
Old 01-08-2018, 09:45 PM
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It took Brahms seven years to complete his Lullaby, for obvious reasons.
  #67  
Old 01-08-2018, 09:46 PM
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This whole thing is beginning to come unRaveled. Try to find something secure to Holst onto.
Either that, or go into Haydn.
  #68  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:28 PM
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Drunkards' favorite composer?

SPOILER:
Philip Glass
  #69  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:28 PM
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One banana, Two banana, Three banana, Four....
  #70  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:39 PM
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After a day on the ski slopes, I had trouble walking through the winter lodge doors. Then I remembered to Tchaikovsky.
  #71  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:56 PM
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I went to our local pet shelter. I wanted to adopt a puppy, but I couldn't decide between 4 dogs. I finally had too do the "eeny-meeny-miny-moe" method to choose. I selected Puccini.
  #72  
Old 01-09-2018, 01:08 AM
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Hollywood celebrities were discussing who they would portray at a costume party where the theme was "Famous Composers." Arnold Schwartzeneggar famously announced, "I'll be Bach."
  #73  
Old 01-09-2018, 05:43 AM
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Arnold Schwartzeneggar? That's the last Strawinksi!
  #74  
Old 01-11-2018, 11:34 PM
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Hollywood celebrities were discussing who they would portray at a costume party where the theme was "Famous Composers." Arnold Schwartzeneggar famously announced, "I'll be Bach."
Wouldn't Bach be a decomposer?
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  #75  
Old 01-12-2018, 12:16 AM
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My chicken says, Bach, Bach, Bach!
  #76  
Old 01-12-2018, 03:35 AM
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Your chicken is Baroque-en.
  #77  
Old 01-12-2018, 04:57 AM
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I love bananas. At first I would peel them. Then I learned to break them in half. Now I cut a banana with a knife. It takes 5 slices to cut open a banana. One each for the ends, the third is to cut the banana in half, and the last to split each half in two.

Last edited by Channing Idaho Banks; 01-12-2018 at 04:57 AM.
  #78  
Old 01-12-2018, 04:34 PM
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Tropical snowmen have bananas for noses.
  #79  
Old 01-13-2018, 09:08 AM
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At a bris, the rabbi gets the payment, but the mohel gets the tip.
  #80  
Old 01-13-2018, 10:57 AM
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Stalin should have known Communism would never work. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
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  #81  
Old 01-13-2018, 01:24 PM
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That's a case for the stairs.
  #82  
Old 01-14-2018, 03:57 AM
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Perhaps we should tread carefully?
  #83  
Old 01-16-2018, 08:38 PM
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Be sure to stick the landing.
  #84  
Old 01-16-2018, 09:15 PM
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You'll land in the sticks.
  #85  
Old 01-16-2018, 09:20 PM
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While traveling the Middle East, I was told that if I smoked marijuana in public, I would get stoned. Worked out really well until those people with rocks showed up.
  #86  
Old 01-16-2018, 09:54 PM
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They were stoners.
  #87  
Old 01-16-2018, 09:57 PM
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If buddha_david was a woman, would they have boulder over?
  #88  
Old 01-16-2018, 11:30 PM
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While traveling the Middle East, I was told that if I smoked marijuana in public, I would get stoned. Worked out really well until those people with rocks showed up.
Have you people ever looked at your rocks, man? I mean really looked? Dude, they're huge! They can stone anything but themselves. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Last edited by Riemann; 01-16-2018 at 11:30 PM.
  #89  
Old 01-17-2018, 08:16 AM
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Pebbles, pebbles who need pebbles, are the luckiest pebbles in the world...
  #90  
Old 01-17-2018, 09:11 AM
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I think those little green lemons are sublime.
  #91  
Old 01-17-2018, 09:29 AM
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I think puns about stones and/or fruit are the pits.
  #92  
Old 01-17-2018, 10:29 AM
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The better ones are fine; it's the really tortured, convoluted puns that hurt, the ones the show signs of cherrymandering.
  #93  
Old 01-18-2018, 11:19 PM
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While traveling the Middle East, I was told that if I smoked marijuana in public, I would get stoned. Worked out really well until those people with rocks showed up.
A Middle East rock concert.
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  #94  
Old 01-18-2018, 11:27 PM
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Iraq concert?
  #95  
Old 01-18-2018, 11:49 PM
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Oman, what a great concert!
  #96  
Old 01-19-2018, 12:07 AM
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Iran away from the crowd.
  #97  
Old 01-19-2018, 12:24 AM
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I went to the big party after the Middle East rock concert. It was a Qatared affair.
  #98  
Old 01-19-2018, 12:33 AM
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I bought concert tickets from a scalper, but on closer inspection they turned out to be for a show that happened a year ago. That's right...Egypt me.
  #99  
Old 01-19-2018, 12:50 AM
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Aswan ticket buyer to another, I have to say, that sucks.
  #100  
Old 01-19-2018, 08:09 AM
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Kuwait a little while, it'll get better.
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