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Old 08-16-2019, 11:47 PM
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Buy Greenland and I vote Trump 2020


The title says it all. But it is a strict condition: Greenland must be formally ours by Election Day 2020. No promises, no excuses, just ours.

It does not have to be a state. It does not have to be a commonwealth. It could be a US territory. You could slice it a lot of ways. But if the US acquires Greenland, I'll vote Trump 2020.

Of course, there are limits. Trump can get away with a lot of bad behavior in the past if he acquires Greenland. But I can't see the future. It is possible his behavior could become so egregious that even Greenland couldn't compensate it.
  #2  
Old 08-17-2019, 12:21 AM
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In my opinion a voter should make his/her choice on something less meaningless. Not that gaining Greenland would be totally meaningless, it's just that there are several more important criteria on which to make ones decision.


Your Mileage. It could be different than mine. Vary.

Last edited by I Love Me, Vol. I; 08-17-2019 at 12:23 AM. Reason: Heck... why not?
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Old 08-17-2019, 12:23 AM
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Is "I'll vote for Trump" the modern-day version of "I'll eat my hat?"
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Old 08-17-2019, 12:56 AM
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Is "I'll vote for Trump" the modern-day version of "I'll eat my hat?"
I'm the kind of person who would hedge my bets on such a promise by first making that hat out of edible taco, like the chip hat in Despicable Me 2.
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Old 08-17-2019, 01:01 AM
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Leave it to Trump to buy something that's melting away. He can buy it now, but it could be gone by November 2020. Would you still vote for him then?
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Old 08-17-2019, 01:02 AM
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Leave it to Trump to buy something that's melting away.
Sure, but the whole point of it melting away is that it makes all kinds of mineral resources accessible. Of course, that just accelerates climate change.
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Old 08-17-2019, 01:22 AM
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Sure, but the whole point of it melting away is that it makes all kinds of mineral resources accessible. Of course, that just accelerates climate change.
That was just a half-joking reference to Trump's business skills, as in his casino "success." U.S companies can get access to those minerals without making the government buy the place.
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Old 08-17-2019, 02:12 AM
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Sure, but the whole point of it melting away is that it makes all kinds of mineral resources accessible. Of course, that just accelerates climate change.
And, since Trump does not believe it is melting, we can expect a casino like failure (but this time applied to the whole world including America) for not preparing at all.

But if Trump is just pretending so as to keep his followers happy and he or his family are looking to become richer, he must then be aware of his follower's foolishness. He, and almost all Republicans, do not care that many other regions of the world (And the American South) will go to pot because:

Greenland is going to be lovely .
*








* Link to video goes to the final seconds of Science writer Peter Hadfield talking about the best evidence of what took place elsewhere in the world when Greenland was a bit warmer.

Quote:
Hang on, you're talking about Greenland again. I want to know what the rest of the world was like during the Medieval Warm Period. It may be very nice for Greenlanders, but most people don't live in Greenland. How come we're never given examples of balmy wonderful riches anywhere else in the world? Well the reason could be because not everywhere was like Western Europe, one of the best known and best researched examples is North America which certainly seems to warm during the Medieval Warm Period, but it also got a lot drier; so dry that researchers are referring to conditions as a mega drought, and as more research is done into the Medieval Warm Period, coincident drought is turning up in areas as far afield as China and Amazonia. And this is exactly what computer modelers had predicted as the consequence of the current increase in temperatures.

An increasing drought spreading out from the southwestern United States that will eventually encompass much of the grain belt, and as in the Medieval Warm Period, other parts of the world will also become drier; but here's the good news that somewhat vindicates those who say the Medieval Warm Period was a golden balmy earth full of riches:

Greenland's going to be lovely.

Last edited by GIGObuster; 08-17-2019 at 02:15 AM.
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Old 08-17-2019, 06:40 AM
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:Sigh:

Imperialists are like this:
https://satwcomic.com/i-want-oil

Greenlanders are like this:
https://satwcomic.com/a-big-f-you

And the USA interloping into Greenland sounds like a joke to me.
https://satwcomic.com/free-greenland

Last edited by foolsguinea; 08-17-2019 at 06:42 AM.
  #10  
Old 08-17-2019, 08:57 AM
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If Trump buys Greenland, what happens to the inhabitants? Are they given citizenship? If not, what is their status? Do they automatically get green cards? Could they all be deported to Denmark?
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Old 08-17-2019, 09:04 AM
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A satire article in Esquire said that Denmark has countered with an offer to buy the US. They promise health care and better education.
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Old 08-17-2019, 05:04 PM
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A satire article in Esquire said that Denmark has countered with an offer to buy the US. They promise health care and better education.
We should go for this, unless we get a better offer.
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Old 08-17-2019, 05:23 PM
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If Trump buys Greenland, what happens to the inhabitants? Are they given citizenship? If not, what is their status? Do they automatically get green cards? Could they all be deported to Denmark?
Trump's immigration policies always include a dose of racism, so why would things be different this time?

Those who can prove European descent can become citizens. They're white, so Trump wants them. Those who can't become "permanent residents" since Denmark will point out that, ethnically, they're not Danish.

The courts would interfere, and Trump would keep finding different ways to say "non-white" and exclude them.

Last edited by Kimera757; 08-17-2019 at 05:26 PM.
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Old 08-17-2019, 06:40 PM
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If Trump buys Greenland, what happens to the inhabitants? Are they given citizenship? If not, what is their status? Do they automatically get green cards? Could they all be deported to Denmark?
I'm sure the Trump administration will give them the same respect and support they've given to Puerto Rico.
  #15  
Old 08-17-2019, 10:39 PM
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Is "I'll vote for Trump" the modern-day version of "I'll eat my hat?"
Yup.
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Old 08-18-2019, 12:45 PM
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I'm sure the Trump administration will give them the same respect and support they've given to Puerto Rico.
I've thought that we should rename Puerto Rico "Greenland" and sell that to Trump. Everything stays the same except that now Puerto Rico has the money it needs to rebuild.
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Old 08-18-2019, 03:29 PM
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You kidding? He'd stiff them on the cheque - same as El Paso for the convention fees, but bigly!
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Old 08-18-2019, 05:49 PM
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Or the check is made out to "Greenland Holdings, LLC", which turns out to be a subsidiary of the Trump Organization.
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Old 08-18-2019, 06:19 PM
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It does not have to be a state. It does not have to be a commonwealth. It could be a US territory. You could slice it a lot of ways. But if the US acquires Greenland, I'll vote Trump 2020.
Why?

I mean, I have said elsewhere that the US owning Greenland is a neutral to not-bad idea. But there's no way I would accept this as a substitute for Trump's continuing to do dumb things while generally failing to to smart things and serving in general as a howling rattling senescent dickbag of chuds that nobody really wanted.
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Old 08-18-2019, 10:48 PM
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Greenland carries incalculable value to the US if viewed from 50, 100, 200 years out. Especially if you believe climate change will really take effect over that time frame. It very well may be one of the nicest places around once it is denuded of ice and the nearly million square miles of virgin territory revealed.

Trump's damage (hopefully) will not have so lasting an effect. A recession? Meh, bump in the road. He could get re-elected, get caught banging a robot hooker in the Oval Office and subsequently, finally be impeached, and it would still be worth it. Because, Greenland is forever.

If Trump wants to just buy my vote, he can buy it with Greenland. Now, if it is one of those situations like when we fomented a war with Mexico, marched in and bombarded Mexico City until they surrendered, then made a "deal" where we paid them $10 million for swathes of territory, sent the troops home and called it square, then no, that is egregious and the start of WWIII and Trump scores no points. If he can somehow buy Greenland though, fine. Quite the Presidential accomplishment. In fact, neither Abraham Lincoln nor Barack Obama bought Greenland. Not even Ronald Reagan managed.

I don't think it will happen. I won't actually eat my hat, but maybe later I will add that to my offer to sweeten the pot.
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Old 08-19-2019, 09:57 AM
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It does not have to be a state. It does not have to be a commonwealth. It could be a US territory. You could slice it a lot of ways. But if the US acquires Greenland, I'll vote Trump 2020.
If the USA were to buy Greenland, essentially you and I would be paying for it, at a time when this administration has got us into hock to the tune of trillions in deficits. No way Trump uses any of his non-existent billions to finance this folly, and I've already got a house payment to make. Pass.
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:00 AM
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Greenland carries incalculable value to the US if viewed from 50, 100, 200 years out. Especially if you believe climate change will really take effect over that time frame. It very well may be one of the nicest places around once it is denuded of ice and the nearly million square miles of virgin territory revealed.
40% of Americans live near the coast and will be displaced by climate change. "Just move them to greenland" is one of the dumbest takes I've ever read.

How about... we stop wrecking the climate? Is that not dramatic enough?
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:16 AM
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The title says it all. But it is a strict condition: Greenland must be formally ours by Election Day 2020. No promises, no excuses, just ours.
I'm sure that Trump will tell you that, even that Denmark will pay for it, but there is reality and there is trumpisms and one is not the other.
  #24  
Old 08-19-2019, 12:05 PM
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40% of Americans live near the coast and will be displaced by climate change. "Just move them to greenland" is one of the dumbest takes I've ever read.

How about... we stop wrecking the climate? Is that not dramatic enough?
Look at it in terms of case logic:

Case 1: We buy Greenland and do not arrest climate change. Things get bad, but at least we have Greenland.

Case 2: We do not buy Greenland nor arrest climate change. Things get bad and we wish be had bought Greenland.

Case 3: We buy Greenland and also arrest climate change. Well, now we have Greenland and access to maybe a million cubic miles of fresh water at minimum. Greenland is bigger than the Louisiana Purchase yanno, I am sure we can find a use for it.

I am not saying we should just move everyone to Greenland. However, have you heard the bad news? Greenland's ice is melting at a rate that was predicted under the worst case scenario... for 2070. I think we are in for global disaster. Easier to face with Greenland than without.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.bus...st-case-2019-8
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Old 08-19-2019, 01:11 PM
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Case 1: We buy Greenland and do not arrest climate change. Things get bad, but at least we have Greenland.
No matter how many times you repeat it, I'm going to say any plan that involves 'do not arrest climate change' is dumb. And I'm not gonna say 'buy Greenland just in case' because that gives dumb people an excuse to deprioritize climate change. Every cent that goes toward buying Greenland should be devoting to getting off carbon fuels and helping other countries do the same.

Quote:
Case 2: We do not buy Greenland nor arrest climate change. Things get bad and we wish be had bought Greenland.
The big 'if' lurking here... we really don't know if Greenland would be in any kind of economically useful state after the ice sheet melts. What would the land/climate be like? Would it support agriculture? Are we up for what's essentially a big terraforming project?

This just strikes me as the most ridiculous "buy it just in case" thing I ever heard. This is not comparable to Alaska; Alaska was a gamble that turned out to pay off big in oil, gold, and other stuff. We pretty much know what Greenland is. It's strategically important and there are a few interesting minerals. We are leveraging the strategic location by leasing Thule AFB, and we can just lease the mineral rights if we need it.

Somebody on Twitter put it well... Buying the entire island of Greenland to get their stuff is like buying the entire grocery store because I need groceries.
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Old 08-19-2019, 02:19 PM
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Aside: I was teaching a class working on a project to plan their "dream vacation". They had no fixed budget, but they had to organize what all they were going to do on their vacation, and find and tally all of their expenses. One pair of students decided that they didn't want to bother with airline tickets and renting hotel rooms and so on, and so they researched how much it would cost to buy their own airline, and buy their own island, and build their own hotel, and so on.
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Old 08-19-2019, 05:13 PM
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It won't take a whole lot of Greenland's ice to melt before Mar-a-Lago has water pouring in its front door. Could this be the reason for Trump's desire to buy the island? Does he want to stop Greenland's ice from melting by installing a lot of refrigeration there?
  #28  
Old 08-19-2019, 05:32 PM
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You could sweep the glaciers of their dust.
  #29  
Old 08-19-2019, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
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A satire article in Esquire said that Denmark has countered with an offer to buy the US. They promise health care and better education.
We should go for this, unless we get a better offer.
I'll chip in if Denmark needs any money.
  #30  
Old 08-19-2019, 08:14 PM
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If Trump buys Greenland, what happens to the inhabitants? Are they given citizenship? If not, what is their status? Do they automatically get green cards? Could they all be deported to Denmark?
I would assume he would do what he used to do as a NY real estate developer:

1. Buy it cheap, highly leveraged through Deutschland Bank;

2. Evict all the current tenants;

3. Re-name it "Trumpland" (probably makes sure that the name-change is reflected on all maps issued by the US government);

3 Build superficially attractive but shoddy apartment blocks;

4. Sell same for grossly inflated prices;

5. Profit!
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Old 08-19-2019, 08:33 PM
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Except somehow, without that last step.
  #32  
Old 08-19-2019, 08:38 PM
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Depends which set of books you're looking at.
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Last edited by Northern Piper; 08-19-2019 at 08:40 PM.
  #33  
Old 08-19-2019, 09:25 PM
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You left out the part about using undocumented workers and then not paying the contractors.
  #34  
Old 08-19-2019, 09:38 PM
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No matter how many times you repeat it, I'm going to say any plan that involves 'do not arrest climate change' is dumb.
Agreed. Not arresting climate change is dumb. Now, look out a window and behold how dumb the world is. Did you read my link? Maybe their claim will turn out to be somehow exaggerated or cherry picked or something, but it says Greenland's rate of ice melt is more than 50 years ahead of the worst case climate change scenario. Guess what? We didn't arrest climate change.

I am 100% for taking bold action to mitigate the problem going forward. But at this point, do you really think we can turn it around anytime soon?

Quote:
And I'm not gonna say 'buy Greenland just in case' because that gives dumb people an excuse to deprioritize climate change. Every cent that goes toward buying Greenland should be devoting to getting off carbon fuels and helping other countries do the same.
One, it isn't really 'just in case' but actually just 'the case'. We get Dumb World Scenario because of the Kochs, and the GOP, things like Cheniere and Chevron and Total and Aramco and you get the picture. Dumb plan? Check. But those guys didn't get the memo, and we don't have hundreds of billions of dollars to put our plans into action.

Two, the scope of my consideration includes more than just 'dumb people'. I care about them, too, and I don't want to see their kids suffer the effects of climate change like some never ending Woody Guthrie dust bowl ballad come true, but there we are. Electing Trump was dumb, but pick up a paper, that's the POTUS. Buying Greenland would put nearly a million square miles of ice and arctic land into the 'win' column. We want it going forward, if possible. The Danish PM said selling it would be 'absurd', so acquiring it seems like a long shot so far.

Quote:
The big 'if' lurking here... we really don't know if Greenland would be in any kind of economically useful state after the ice sheet melts. What would the land/climate be like? Would it support agriculture? Are we up for what's essentially a big terraforming project?
Seems like the last best hope to me. Assuming climate change is going to hit the next generation like a ton of recycled aluminum, American control of Greenland is desirable. That ancient melt water needs to be collected to the greatest degree possible and probably monetized- India is running out of water, how about we run tankers from Greenland and help them out? Gonna be a lot of idle tankers after we eliminate the oil industry...

Anyway, as the planet continues warming, 100+ years from now, Greenland will likely grow increasingly habitable. People live their now, no? It is the size of 3 Texases, so answers to questions like- agriculture? temperate climate? develop-able? will depend on which regions you are talking about. But we know it is some kind of motherlode of never-tapped resources. Solomon dug no gold here. Caesar mined no marble. And so on.

Quote:
This just strikes me as the most ridiculous "buy it just in case" thing I ever heard. This is not comparable to Alaska; Alaska was a gamble that turned out to pay off big in oil, gold, and other stuff. We pretty much know what Greenland is. It's strategically important and there are a few interesting minerals. We are leveraging the strategic location by leasing Thule AFB, and we can just lease the mineral rights if we need it.
Well, let's say it is impossible to buy Greenland. We could at least try to be friends with them, starting with admiring what an awesome country they have and maybe offering support as their environment changes. Sure, they may let us lease things and invest there. That may be as good as it gets.

Quote:
Somebody on Twitter put it well... Buying the entire island of Greenland to get their stuff is like buying the entire grocery store because I need groceries.
No, it is more like, "I acquired Shangri-La for my great-grandchildren, because I am just cool like that."
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  #35  
Old 08-19-2019, 09:38 PM
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It's not for sale. Unlike everything about Trump.

Last edited by Isamu; 08-19-2019 at 09:41 PM.
  #36  
Old 08-19-2019, 10:13 PM
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It this were ever a serious possibility, I think the residents of Greenland would take to the streets.
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  #37  
Old 08-20-2019, 07:58 AM
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Streets?
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Old 08-20-2019, 12:24 PM
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Streets?
Of course streets. Did you think they all live in igloos?
https://images.app.goo.gl/dJvBJnQZfRuCHcwFA
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  #39  
Old 08-28-2019, 11:06 PM
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Oh, look, OP, there's a Senator who agrees with you:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve MB View Post
Tom Cotton says buying Greenland is too a good idea and anyone who doesn't see that is a big meanie doodoo head blinded by Trump derangement.
IT'S

NOT

FOR

SALE!

Also, this was Humon's take on it:
https://satwcomic.com/the-proposal

Last edited by foolsguinea; 08-28-2019 at 11:07 PM.
  #40  
Old 08-29-2019, 01:13 PM
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Yes well that was Trump's one chance to get my vote. He had me paying close attention for a moment there, and as it turns out he more or less topped himself in douchey behavior by cancelling a state dinner rather than take 'no' for an answer, re-confirming that he is not fit for the office he holds.

Could've been a major achievement. Instead, once again I am embarrassed for my country because the POTUS behaves like a dim child. Can't say I didn't give him a chance.
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