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  #1  
Old 02-06-2020, 09:23 AM
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Declanium is a sorry excuse for a mother.


Seriously Declanium, you are one miserable human being.

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I can't very well summarize it, because there's too much "WTF?" going in that thread.


Basically it's: "My sons smoke weed so now I'm disowning them".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium
Donít worry about my lonely holidays -
Iíve got lovely nieces and nephews with no druuuuugz in their lives. I will be fine celebrating with them.
Geez.
I truly feel sorry for this lady's kids.
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Old 02-06-2020, 09:32 AM
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I swear she's just trolling now. Maybe she was serious at first, but now she's just trying to piss everyone off. And I don't know how the hell she can get away with saying stuff like "That’s rich. All of the SD potheads who were advising me to toke up with the kids, criticizing me. Cute. Go back to your bongs. Wonder if you smoked with your mother." in IMHO. I did report it and nothing happened.
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Old 02-06-2020, 09:35 AM
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It is clearly trolling now, may have been to start with.
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Old 02-06-2020, 09:39 AM
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I agree both with the pitting and that she is now trolling. don't know about originally but she's now getting off on upsetting those of us who feel sorry for her sons.
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Old 02-06-2020, 09:53 AM
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I read page 1 (I'm set to 100 posts) and I thought overly concerned and not too bright, but not worth a pitting. Then I went to the last page (page 4 for me) and yeah, if she's not trolling, she's off the rails. Problem isn't the kids using pot, problem is the controlling dumb-ass of a mom.
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Old 02-06-2020, 10:06 AM
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If she's not trolling then I agree with the OP - she's a pretty crappy mother
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Old 02-06-2020, 11:00 AM
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I posted Children from The Prophet; thought it was perfect for her to read and get a new perspective; but I got no response.
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Old 02-06-2020, 11:25 AM
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Originally Posted by septimus View Post
I posted Children from The Prophet; thought it was perfect for her to read and get a new perspective; but I got no response.
It's clear that she doesn't want a new perspective (and/or is trolling.) If by some slim chance she is for real, I honestly do hope she comes to her senses, though, in my experience, people like this don't, unfortunately. The electrons here are wasted.
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Old 02-06-2020, 11:28 AM
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At this point, I hope she is trolling. There's something interesting about this whole discussion happening on the Straight Dope, of course, but mostly for her kids' sake I hope this is all bullshit.
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Old 02-06-2020, 11:38 AM
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I posted Children from The Prophet; thought it was perfect for her to read and get a new perspective; but I got no response.
In fairness, I would have ignored that also.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:01 PM
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At this point, I hope she is trolling.
Agreeing with that. If there are some real teenagers being emotionally disowned by their mother, I'm sorry for them; but it's utterly clear by now that, if she's not trolling, she's not going to pay attention to anything anyone says that doesn't fit with her already-made-up mind.

But she might be trolling. Is anybody really supposed to take 'OMG he had a picture of a joint on his phone!' seriously?
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:04 PM
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Yeah she's a loon.

I'd totally understand if she was simply concerned, and seeking advice for how to talk to her teenagers, set healthy boundaries for living at home, seeking information on how dangerous (OR non-dangerous) weed is, legal ramifications, etc. But she isn't. She didn't start that thread with an open mind - she started it to bash her teenage sons and expecting everyone to agree with her that using weed, even just once, means you're forever an addict with zero future aspirations.

The ONLY thing she's done that MIGHT help the situation is attending therapy with her boys, or at least one of them. Although it sounds like she's still being pig-headed, and assumes the therapist will automatically agree with everything she says.

The fact that absolutely no one in the thread supports her nuttiness is, to her, evidence that we're all hopelessly addicted weed smokers, ourselves. Even though myself and others have told her that we've never smoked (I never have and never plan to).

She's not going to listen, and she isn't looking to broaden her incredibly narrow world-view. As I mentioned in the other thread, thank God her sons have their father, who seems a lot more chill about the whole thing. They have the love and acceptance of ONE parent, which I suppose is still better than nothing.

I'm honestly torn as to whether she's a troll or not. There are plenty of people this deluded, happy to live vicariously through their children, until the moment comes when their kids inevitably don't live up to their standards. Just look at Toddlers & Tiaras
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:11 PM
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See, this is what has taken all of the satisfaction out of pitting someone who needs pitting. If any poster is bad enough to deserve it, everybody says, ďmeh, just a troll, why bother?Ē

I was going to pit her myself, but decided not to because I was expecting exactly this result. Maybe sheís a troll, maybe sheís not. Who cares? Even if her whacked-out persona isnít 100% sincere, itís still worth talking about the shit sheís saying.


To all the people in this thread who are blowing it off because of suspected trollery: you guys suck. I love you to bits, but you suck.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:19 PM
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All a bunch of hypocrites.
Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments. Particularly one by scabpicker.
His sister was an addict and the family doesn’t have contact with her. No wringing of hands or condemnation there.

Last edited by Declanium; 02-06-2020 at 12:19 PM.
  #15  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium View Post
All a bunch of hypocrites.
Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments. Particularly one by scabpicker.
His sister was an addict and the family doesnít have contact with her. No wringing of hands or condemnation there.
If your sons were on meth we'd be having a different conversation. But it's not meth, it's weed and you're insane.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:23 PM
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huge difference between Meth and smoking a joint.

Last edited by TheCuse; 02-06-2020 at 12:23 PM.
  #17  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium View Post
All a bunch of hypocrites.
Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments. Particularly one by scabpicker.
His sister was an addict and the family doesnít have contact with her. No wringing of hands or condemnation there.
Are you trying to be a clueless idiot, or does it just come naturally?
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  #18  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:26 PM
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No one starts out with meth
Probably started with weed
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium View Post
No one starts out with meth
Probably started with weed
Probably advil before that.

God you're silly.
  #20  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:28 PM
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This woman is an idiot. Her sons are better off without her if this is truly what she believes. But I think she might be trolling. Something is off her.
  #21  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:28 PM
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I'm calling bullshit trollery on the whole fucking scenario.
  #22  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium View Post
No one starts out with meth
Probably started with weed
Do you have cites? Or did you just make that up?
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Last edited by snfaulkner; 02-06-2020 at 12:30 PM.
  #23  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:30 PM
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Nope.
It’s a real situation

Last edited by Declanium; 02-06-2020 at 12:30 PM.
  #24  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:33 PM
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Quote:
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No one starts out with meth
Probably started with weed
The first drug most people start using is caffeine. Next is alcohol.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:33 PM
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Nope.
Itís a real situation
Soooo, no cites then?
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  #26  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:37 PM
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Although the subject of the pitting stands out for her particularly ridiculous and infuriating line in the sand, there are millions of other parents kicking their kids to the curb as we speak, for other sins even more naive, harmless, or even, inescapable (like sexual orientation). My own sister could not accept that her son was, despite her unending nagging, untidy, overweight, and would never be a doctor (he is a well-liked and well-paid EMT) . It was appalling to listen to her. Although she didn't kick him out, he left home as soon as he could.

Horrible parents are common. I have read that 40% of American children are 'detached' from their care givers i.e. show clinical signs of poor parenting. We are just seeing an egregious example here.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
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Nope.
Itís a real situation
Yeah, but is your whole thread? It is so over the top, you are such a spectacularly bad mother that I really want to believe your a troll and maybe sock for some banned troll or other. Please in the interest of preserving what shred of hope I have for humanity, admit that this is all a performance and you are not in fact the worst mother in the world.
  #28  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:43 PM
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Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments.
And all those alcoholics that ruin lives of those around them. Fuck White Claw.
  #29  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:45 PM
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Interesting posting history. Signed up in late 2015, made a few posts into 2016 mostly on medical and psychological issues, then nothing for over three years until the thread referenced here. In one of those old threads she speculates about how her family could get along without her if she died.

I have no idea what all that means. At one point in the current thread she claims to be surprised that other posters question her venting on the SD, as if she was an old regular here.

Maybe one of the boys discovered Mom's login ID and is having some fun. If so, congrats kid on channeling a crazy mom.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:53 PM
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She sounds like an absolute loon. Dug herself into a position, head up her ass, and refuses to budge. To lose now and admit being wrong would be worse than being thought a terrible mother and a shit excuse for a human being. She needs therapy and Valium. On the second thought, just the Valium. Talking to her is a waste of everyone's time.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:57 PM
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Idiot or troll or both, doesn't really matter. People could expend hours finding cites and putting together cogent refutations of her moronic POV and get back nothing but "NuhUH POOPYPANTS" in return. If there are actual teenaged kids being emotionally abused by their cluelessly obnoxious mom there is not one damned thing anyone on a message board can do about it and the situation will play out as it plays out. In the meantime, I have actual people with actual problems and concerns and things to share I can interact with so why spend my time and attention on a worthless, clueless asshole of a moron?

Last edited by SmartAleq; 02-06-2020 at 12:58 PM.
  #32  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:59 PM
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...In one of those old threads she speculates about how her family could get along without her if she died....
Sounds like her world view is that it's all about her
  #33  
Old 02-06-2020, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Declanium View Post
No one starts out with meth
Probably started with weed
Probably started with milk. Just about everybody who ever became a drug addict first used milk.

Quote:
Originally Posted by madmonk28 View Post
Yeah, but is your whole thread? It is so over the top, you are such a spectacularly bad mother that I really want to believe your a troll and maybe sock for some banned troll or other. Please in the interest of preserving what shred of hope I have for humanity, admit that this is all a performance and you are not in fact the worst mother in the world.
Hate to say this, but even if Declanium is a troll, that wouldn't make her the worst mother in the world. She apparently hasn't beaten or burned the kids to death yet, or tied them up in the basement and left them to starve in their own piss.

A terrible mother, yes; but, sad but true, a run-of-the-mill sort of terrible. If you're trolling, Declanium, try harder.
  #34  
Old 02-06-2020, 01:07 PM
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...Hate to say this, but even if Declanium is a troll, that wouldn't make her the worst mother in the world. She apparently hasn't beaten or burned the kids to death yet, or tied them up in the basement and left them to starve in their own piss...
Wait until the put a scratch in the car.
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Old 02-06-2020, 01:20 PM
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All a bunch of hypocrites.
Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments. Particularly one by scabpicker.
His sister was an addict and the family doesnít have contact with her. No wringing of hands or condemnation there.
Meth>weed. (As in "worse than.")
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Old 02-06-2020, 01:34 PM
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Probably advil before that.

God you're silly.
Kix Cereal is the real starter...
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Old 02-06-2020, 01:38 PM
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Kix Cereal is the real starter...
Remember Fruit Loops? Direct line to mainlining heroin.
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  #38  
Old 02-06-2020, 01:39 PM
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Now that you're here I can finally say what I've been wanting to.

If you're serious, fuck you for putting your own neurotic bullshit above love for your kids. My two weren't perfect by any stretch. There were times they did something so stupid, I wanted to strangle them. There were times I blew up and overreacted, and times when they did at me and their father. But after some time to cool off, we always made it work because we love each other.

Every problem has a solution if you want to work for it. Even for big stuff like being a bully (daughter), or stealing credit cards (son), or drinking out in the woods with your buddies and blowing shit up with M80's (son again), or sneaking out of the house after bedtime and taking the car with only a leaner's permit to go to a party with a bunch of college kids that got broken up by the police (daughter again).

The flipside was that they knew they could come to us if they had trouble and while we might get mad at them for breaking a rule or doing something wrong, making sure they were safe and OK would matter more.

They are now adults with college degrees and good jobs. They've both got good common sense and don't drink much, or party, or steal, or blow stuff up. The stupid shit they did as teens didn't affect them for the rest of their lives any more than the stupid shit I did as a teen affected me.

And if you're trolling, fuck you, troll.
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Old 02-06-2020, 01:43 PM
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Yeah, I could deal with all of the other teenage stuff - but not drugs. They knew from an early age that was my Achilles heel. Sex, taking the car, all easier than drugs.
  #40  
Old 02-06-2020, 01:43 PM
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Meth>weed. (As in "worse than.")
Well that's a matter of perspective, innit?
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Old 02-06-2020, 01:45 PM
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I have never smoked weed (or cigarettes either, but then again I grew up with asthma and allergies). Can’t stand the smell and have never had the desire to get high. I drink alcohol on rare occasions, I even have my favorites, but only in rare cases to any excess and only when it’s safe. I don’t even drink sugary drinks except rarely, I’m pretty straight edge. And my brother is a long time junkie and violent criminal so I know what drugs can lead you to.

But I wouldn’t freak out over this. I wouldn’t approve but until and unless the drug use causes actual problems I do not consider it a crisis if any of my kids did weed. It is not good for you (no smoke inhalation is, I don’t care what you’re burning) and it can be especially damaging to a young mind. But if you think of disowning your kids over it you have serious problems. Your kids don’t need nearly as much treatment as you do. Seriously, seek help. I don’t say that to be snarky, but because that is not healthy emotional behavior.

And if you’re just trolling, fuck off and go die in a fire, thanks.
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Old 02-06-2020, 01:54 PM
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Well that's a matter of perspective, innit?
From my perspective, weed is no big deal, meth is much worse for you. Do you disagree? Otherwise, I don't get what you're trying to say.
  #43  
Old 02-06-2020, 01:56 PM
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Yeah, I could deal with all of the other teenage stuff - but not drugs. They knew from an early age that was my Achilles heel. Sex, taking the car, all easier than drugs.
Assuming this isn't all a performance for the Dope, you need to get the fuck over it. What's the other option? You're going to go through the rest of your life not loving your kids? Your husband is going to have to sneak off to see them? You're not going to be at their weddings because they smoked pot in high school? What's your end game?
  #44  
Old 02-06-2020, 01:57 PM
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And if youíre just trolling, fuck off and go die in a fire, thanks.
[Moderating]
Please do not indicate that you want another poster to die or come to severe physical harm.

No warning issued.
[/Moderating]
  #45  
Old 02-06-2020, 01:59 PM
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Yeah, I could deal with all of the other teenage stuff - but not drugs. They knew from an early age that was my Achilles heel. Sex, taking the car, all easier than drugs.
Wah, parenting is hard.

Be a better person.
  #46  
Old 02-06-2020, 02:00 PM
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I should have added, my brother destroyed himself with meth and heroin. I don’t know if he ever smoked weed. Heck, if he did it might mellow him out and improve his life.
  #47  
Old 02-06-2020, 02:01 PM
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[Moderating]
Please do not indicate that you want another poster to die or come to severe physical harm.

No warning issued.
[/Moderating]
Sorry Miller, that wasnít literal, DIAF is a common meme and I should have known not to use it here.
  #48  
Old 02-06-2020, 02:04 PM
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I like that the risk of getting a girl pregnant and owing child support for 18 years (likely paid for by YOU until the kid gets a job) is preferable to a few joints. If you aren't doing so responsibly, having sex can have a LOT worse and longer-lasting consequences than smoking weed.
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Old 02-06-2020, 02:06 PM
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If you’ve been following, madmonk, yes, that’s it I guess.
Cuz it’s not just disengaging because they once smoked pot in high school. It’s because the therapist sees that it has become a habit that his likely to continue. So in that case, I’m fine with missing my son’s events. And who are we kidding? He’s not getting married. He will barely be able to take care of himself. Why would he couple up? Unless it’s another pothead.

And yes, older son has already had sex. We know this. And I was fine with it. He used protection.

Last edited by Declanium; 02-06-2020 at 02:08 PM.
  #50  
Old 02-06-2020, 02:09 PM
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If youíve been following, madmonk, yes, thatís it I guess.
Cuz itís not just disengaging because they once smoked pot in high school. Itís because the therapist sees that it has become a habit that his likely to continue. So in that case, Iím fine with missing my sonís events. And who are we kidding? Heís not getting married. He will barely be able to take care of himself. Why would he couple up? Unless itís another pothead.
How the fuck did YOU manage to couple up with that ignorant hateful personality of yours?
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