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  #801  
Old 04-02-2018, 01:35 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Whiskey Dickens has appeared in vacuum-cleaner porn under the stage name "Buck Naked Jr."
  #802  
Old 04-02-2018, 01:44 PM
Crazy Canuck Crazy Canuck is offline
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Elendil's Heir thinks that vacuum-cleaner porn sucks.
  #803  
Old 04-02-2018, 01:45 PM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
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Elendil's Heir appeared as my sidekick, "Wispy Dick-ends."

Dammit! Ninja'd!



Crazy Canuck has a Justin Trudeau poster above his bed, and he falls asleep every night hoping that the tape fails, and he wakes up with Justin pressed against his face.

Last edited by Whiskey Dickens; 04-02-2018 at 01:47 PM.
  #804  
Old 04-03-2018, 12:51 AM
boson boson is offline
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Whiskey Dickens saves pretty pennies. In ten years, the collection has only two keepers.
  #805  
Old 04-03-2018, 07:01 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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boson is a faithful member of the Illustrious Society of the Amateur Antediluvian Order of the Reciprocating Guild of Noble American Auxiliary Arm of the Incarnadine Merchant Bulls, a Division of Spumco.
  #806  
Old 04-04-2018, 04:46 PM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
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Prof. Pepperwinkle greatly fears the Goldfish in his bowl...for no very apparent reason.
  #807  
Old 04-05-2018, 12:48 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Bosda has an irrational, overwhelming and deep-seated fear of dryer lint, and has to hire others to clean the lint trap on his clothes dryer.
  #808  
Old 04-05-2018, 01:08 PM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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Elendil's Heir fears nothing but fear itself ... and paradoxes.
  #809  
Old 04-05-2018, 11:57 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
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Blue Blistering Barnacle does not, in fact, cause blisters.
  #810  
Old 04-06-2018, 08:34 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Mr. Zox is the reincarnation of Dr. Suess
  #811  
Old 04-06-2018, 09:56 AM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
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Annie-Xmas was the second Jew to be born on Christmas day, and let me tell you, she's not even half the messiah the other one was.

Turns wine into urine and is all like "miracles!"
  #812  
Old 04-06-2018, 10:03 AM
astorian astorian is offline
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Whiskey Dickens belongs to a Satanic church, but is too lazy to attend its services, and sleeps in. Satan hates him, and is going to send him to Heaven when he dies.

Last edited by astorian; 04-06-2018 at 10:04 AM.
  #813  
Old 04-06-2018, 11:03 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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astorian has never told a story in her life.
  #814  
Old 04-06-2018, 01:13 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Annie-Xmas is, in fact, a grand high priestess of the Church of Satan (Reformed Missouri Synod), but her duties are mainly ceremonial.
  #815  
Old 04-06-2018, 04:45 PM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
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Elendil's Heir is forbidden, by penalty of Law, from thinking about a monkey.
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  #816  
Old 04-06-2018, 08:34 PM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is currently undergoing chelation therapy for excess prepositions.
  #817  
Old 04-07-2018, 07:53 AM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
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Blue Blistering Barnacle constantly thinks about a monkey, and nothing else.
  #818  
Old 04-07-2018, 08:23 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor regularly orders BDCT (bacon, dandelion and chewing tobacco) sandwiches in restaurants, but never eats them.
  #819  
Old 04-07-2018, 09:39 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Annie X-mas is a generous soul and has made arrangements with every restaurant within a ten-block radius of Bosda's luxury condo to prepay for his BDCTs, eaten or not.
  #820  
Old 04-08-2018, 07:25 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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Elendil's Heir is personally sculpting a life-size statue of his idol Orson Bean out of old VHS copies of The Hobbit in another wild attempt at gaining the attentions of Keira Knightley.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 04-08-2018 at 07:26 AM.
  #821  
Old 04-08-2018, 06:43 PM
Marine_One Marine_One is offline
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Prof. Pepperwinkle has seen London and France, but has never seen someone's underpants.
  #822  
Old 04-09-2018, 08:27 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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Marine_One has cooties.
  #823  
Old 04-09-2018, 08:34 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Blue Blistering Barnacle 's favorite poem is "one, two buckle my shoe" which he repeats endlessly. His associates wish he'd memorize the rest of the damn thing.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 04-09-2018 at 08:34 AM.
  #824  
Old 04-09-2018, 10:30 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
Elendil's Heir is personally sculpting a life-size statue of his idol Orson Bean out of old VHS copies of The Hobbit in another wild attempt at gaining the attentions of Keira Knightley.
Well, I guess it's time to change the locks on our house again....

Annie-Xmas has consulted with at least nine plastic surgeons about being transformed into a passable version of Mrs. Santa Claus.
  #825  
Old 04-11-2018, 03:18 PM
slightly askew slightly askew is offline
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Elendil's Heir enjoys reading Nancy Drew novels while lounging in the bathtub filled with pink champagne and lizards.
  #826  
Old 04-12-2018, 08:33 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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slightly askew is totally straight, but has some good curves.
  #827  
Old 04-12-2018, 10:31 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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When she participates in any discussion, Annie-Xmas always leaves each issue wrapped up in a neat bow.
  #828  
Old 04-14-2018, 03:05 AM
boson boson is offline
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Blue Blistering Barnacle says, "Nanny nanny boo-boo" way way too often.
  #829  
Old 04-14-2018, 12:45 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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boson never cries or laughs.
  #830  
Old 04-14-2018, 12:57 PM
furryman furryman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boson View Post
Blue Blistering Barnacle says, "Nanny nanny boo-boo" way way too often.
boson and higgs got together and created a particle.
  #831  
Old 04-16-2018, 12:05 AM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
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furryman is usually extremely petulant.
  #832  
Old 04-16-2018, 09:04 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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Mr. Zox cannot keep himself from drawing beards and mustaches on x-rays of skulls.
  #833  
Old 04-16-2018, 09:06 AM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
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Mr Zox left the organization after that big bitcoin theft happened in 2014. The newspaper headline was "Mt. Gox Cox It Up, Mr Zox Walks"
  #834  
Old 04-16-2018, 09:07 AM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
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Prof. Pepperwinkle's doctorate came from a diploma mill, and he's always ninjaing me, Mom!!
  #835  
Old 04-16-2018, 09:53 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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Whiskey Dickens flunked Ninja school, but has gone on to a successful career as a Kabuki scenery changer.
  #836  
Old 04-16-2018, 10:15 AM
Leo Bloom Leo Bloom is offline
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Blue Blistering Barnacle not only knows that the barnacle has the longest penis in the world relative to body size, but mentions it at least twice a day. Even his priest at confession is sick of hearing it.
  #837  
Old 04-16-2018, 10:49 AM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
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Bosda told Leo Bloom that Leo was the dandelion in his BDCT sandwich. They've been arm in arm ever since.
  #838  
Old 04-16-2018, 05:49 PM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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When Whiskey Dickens visits a sandwich shop, he only ever orders soup.
  #839  
Old 04-17-2018, 08:57 AM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Blistering Barnacle View Post
When Whiskey Dickens visits a sandwich shop, he only ever orders soup.
Blue Blistering Barnacle almost earned himself a good ole fashioned knuckle sandwich upthread until I remembered that kabuki is not the same as bukkake.

Wait, that's not a rumor.

BBB played backing arthropod on Fleetwood Mac's 11th studio album. Rumours.
  #840  
Old 04-17-2018, 08:59 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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Whiskey Dickens was a concert harpist for a number of years, but gave it up when he discovered banjo-pickin' paid better.
  #841  
Old 04-17-2018, 09:37 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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Prof. Pepperwinkle and Whiskey Dickens are, interestingly, clients of each other. They stay out late in dingy bars, pick up barflies, and “discuss real estate”.
  #842  
Old 04-17-2018, 10:23 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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BBB agrees with me that capitalizing the word "Realtor" for those who deal in real estate is a waste of ink (or electrons).
  #843  
Old 04-17-2018, 10:37 AM
Blue Blistering Barnacle Blue Blistering Barnacle is online now
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Elendil's Heir pronounces the word “realtor” as “real-i-tor”.
  #844  
Old 04-18-2018, 11:50 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
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Blue Blistering Barnacle's favorite flavor of cupcake is cucumber/eggplant surprise.
  #845  
Old 04-19-2018, 08:28 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Mr Zox has never been to a zoo due to his hatred of all animals.
  #846  
Old 04-19-2018, 09:34 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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Annie-Xmas has her own personal submarine, which she uses to visit the lost city of Atlantis. She's "good friends" with Prince Atlizan, heir to the throne.
  #847  
Old 04-19-2018, 09:54 AM
Crazy Canuck Crazy Canuck is offline
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Prof. Pepperwinkle killed Mr. Body in the library with the lead pipe.
  #848  
Old 04-19-2018, 11:31 AM
furryman furryman is offline
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Prof. Pepperwinkle killed Mr. Body in the library with the lead pipe.
Crazy Canuck is neither crazy nor a canuck.
  #849  
Old 04-19-2018, 11:48 AM
Jasmine Jasmine is online now
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I have it from a reliable source who actually witnessed this with his own eyes that "Furryman" actually grew up in and worked for a circus for many years as one of those "Wolf Man" characters due to a genetic propensity to grow bodily hair all over his face, ears, neck and throat area. Since the decline of the circus as an entertainment industry, he has had to venture forth into the everyday world and try to assimilate, not an easy task for someone who was in such an isolated and accepting environment for so long. He should be lauded!
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Last edited by Jasmine; 04-19-2018 at 11:49 AM.
  #850  
Old 04-19-2018, 01:47 PM
Crazy Canuck Crazy Canuck is offline
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I asked Jasmine if they wanted to rub my magic lamp, and I all I got out of it was a black eye.
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